“you is a good boi for fwosty” / I was not spying! That’s bullshit! …Oh, hi Jero. / Not good / Didn’t expect it, but I welcome it / Classic Novice / “See me as the ‘anti-Jero'”

Posted on 02-15-2022 by Benie

Going to be taking a break from VRChat for awhile. Three reasons for it. First literally being this, of doing a blog post which was supposed to be published earlier yesterday, but I wanted to get done with my cheat sheet for ‘Pop Escape!’ (which I have).
Overall I’m just bored with VRChat and want to get back to playing the Myst series. I will come back to it one day.
Thankfully, I still remember most of what happened (which honestly wasn’t that much that happened in VRChat, and more in Discord).
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“you is a good boi for fwosty” -Wufy
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How creepy and wrong it sounds, it also served as a hilarious title for the first segment of this blog post.
So even though I’ve already have stated my opinion if I should join Frost’s server or
not, there’s one aspect that keeps bugging me. Now I could’ve gone right to Frost and asked him this, but I didn’t want to bother someone that kept on going on Away, DND or phone status. I can (hopefully) easily ask a few members of his server if they know (who are also my good friends over the years).
Since I’ve already asked Jero and his response is more “it’s really up to you if you join or not”, I haven’t really asked Mr “I’m getting addicted to Cookie Clicker! uwu” Wufy yet. Still laughing at the first thing he asked after I said “I have a question for you”. He asked “pp? owo”.. god damnit. 😂
Anyway (getting to the point of this post), he was actually as confused as Jero was when I told him what Frost said to me about ‘contributing’. He assumes he’s just “telling everyone to feel free to invite their friends”. I said “I assume it was ‘being more active and helping out’ or ‘financial contribution’,” and I’ve just been hoping someone in his server truly knew what Frost meant by this. Except I think I’ve been asking the wrong people, as both Jero and Wufy are hardly active in Frost’s server.
Wufy though, after I explained more about what Frost has done (financially) and what he wants to do for his community, he believes the whole ‘contributing’ thing is related to the ones that request commissions from him. But the more he talked, the more he actually believed this has to be what Frost meant by contributing. Reason being, is he never asked for a commission before. Then when he did, Frost started talking to him more (and he also believes that is what he meant when “for the ones that contributed the most to the
server,” he’d add things in their rooms.
–
Makes perfect sense to me, so I moved on and asked questions Jero did kind of address before, but only in VRChat (and I forgot what he said). Main question is: “do you have to be active?” He says “no”, and also adding “he just wants his server to be a little bit more popular I guess”… this screamed out what I went through with the old Best Boi community. Plus.. I just can’t get the bitter taste of Grok’s server (when I joined because
of Wolfdog) out of my mouth. Both of these things, is what’s keeping me away. The last time I dealt with a ‘tight-nit community’.. was Grok’s server (where everyone must love the owner. And I unfortunately do mean “in that way”). 😖
Yet at the same time, this is Frost I’m talking about! I’ve known the guy for a long time and he even tried his best to help me when it came with Jero. Why in the fuck should I be afraid of someone that loves his friends like a true family!? I really shouldn’t. I should be embracing it! But.. I can’t. Because I’m scared I’ll not fit in. Just like moving to another town.
I don’t want the same thing to happen with how I felt in Stray’s server, where I truly felt I didn’t belong here with a bunch of High Epsilons. I don’t feel it’s going to be any
better, especially with some of the art Frost has been sending to our server. One of them is a (in my mind) a ‘confirmed’ High Epislon. Rather not deal with that. That’s why I’m
sorry Frost, but I just cannot accept the invite.
—
Wufy though feels I should, claiming “it’s a happy place, not a community server”. Um no offense but that’s literally the definition of a community server, thanks to the old Best
Boi community burning that into my brain to live there for the rest of my life. People like Creepery, and some of the mods.. literally calling it, a community server. Now I do realize there are different forms of ‘community servers’; the VRChat Discord being a prime example. However, that’s what I call an official community server. I even call our
server, Mystery Skulls, a community server. Though it can also be called “a ragtag group of dumbasses” (because of Kovo being there). Because fuck enforcing the rules where it’s perfectly OK for Kovo to be lewd in the fucking #general chat.. when
we HAVE an #nsfw-general chat channel for that purpose!
He also said it’s “for the ones that are good bois. And it seems you’ve been invited so you is a good boi for fwosty.” Shouldn’t it had been “for you is a good boi in fwosty’s eyes”? But I digress. Still funny though.
…But I still cannot accept the invite. I’m sorry. I don’t want to feel small and pathetic, and be forced to ‘fight’ my way to gain respect for not just myself but them. This is what happens when you have no self-esteem left in you, and feel it’s easier to live the life of being a pessimist. My social anxiety is just too strong to fight off, with no self-esteem.
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I was not spying! That’s bullshit! …Oh, hi Jero.
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Finally got on VRChat much later on after that conversation, getting on a few hours earlier than I’ve been doing (due to laziness). Was able to see Jero, but he was in a public instance of the Furry Hub world. As ‘standard protocol’, I kept my distance from him unless he decided to come over. Why? Because I saw him with someone that was cuddling him, who wanted to pick him up and put him on their shoulders, and Jero’s like “yeah yeah
yeah!” nearly begging them to do it.
So yeah, that’s why I kept my distance. But I also took this time to explore the world a bit more. Checked out the cool art, but also debated if I should go and see someone else. Instead I stayed. One time I was on the second floor and Jero saw and waved at me. I waved back then darted around the corner having this 50/50 want/not want him to follow me mindset. I don’t want to have to ‘fight’ to gain his affection when he’s with someone. I don’t want to interrupt that. You know?
Noticed they had a 3rd floor that overlooked the main area, where I was able to watch Jero through the windows there. I wasn’t spying on him. I was waiting to see if he would be alone and I could come in and be with him. Forgive my social anxiety.
Unfortunately, someone was watching me from down there. Twice they saw me, and twice I tried to play it off. Why I didn’t get kicked for it? Who knows.
–
Then Jero showed up unannounced. Slightly smiled, waved and said “I was just checking the world out mainly. I wasn’t spying on you, at all.” Then he asks if I want to go back down to the mirror.. I wasn’t exactly sure because.. you know, people I don’t know are there? But I forced myself to follow him down the stairs and to the mirror. There was still this giant furry I honestly didn’t want to be close to, but thankfully they left for me to have an opening to the mirror and Jero. Originally I thought of blocking their avatar but I remembered what happened the last time that happened. Someone got pissed at me for it.
About five minutes after, Jero told me he was lagging like crazy and asked if we could go to a different world.
Went to my homeworld and talked about random things that I have sadly forgotten what they were, though I do remember a few things. One time we were talking about weird food we ate as kids, but I forgot how that started. I also was hoping to change his mind about not wanting to go to ‘Pop Escape!’ saying I can speedrun him, but he still didn’t want to. A bit disappointing but I did let it go.
We went to other worlds after that, doing VR Ware a few times (Jero kicking my ass the second time, which he calls “beginner’s luck”. Sure Jero, sure. 😉). Even checked out a world based off of the game (and the cartoon show) of Steven Universe. Jero told me he watched that show quite a lot. I did too, but rarely. Just wasn’t my thing.
And then I made a mistake, wanting to show Jero a game world I went to once. You’ll soon learn that mistake, and why it’s one of the reasons why I’m taking a break from VRChat.
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Not good
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We got into the world. Everything was good until we got to the part where it wants you to pick a playstyle for the menu. Jero noticed the warning of dropping the shield and getting right into the game, of doing the tutorial first.
I showed him the button for the tutorial, and I clicked on it. I still have no idea, why in the fuck something that worked perfectly before.. completely froze my headset as my video card drivers crashed.
Why, computer? …Why? However this thing did have a ‘good’ side as Jero realized what time it was and hopped off. He later apologized and explained it in Discord.
Still… WHY?!?! This is the same issue I had over a month ago of the ‘load into a
world = BlackSreen Of Death’ thing (a BSOD but getting a blackscreen instead of a bluescreen).
So, clearly de-dusting my video card didn’t fix it. That means doing the auto installing of drivers, fucked something up in my video card. Which is why I’m terrified to update my drivers now (even IF I unplug my Index before I do it).
It’s similar to the issue I had back in 2009, except that was from accidentally spraying bug spray into my computer. This time, my Index likely caused the fuck up.
Reinstalling the drivers doesn’t fix it, neither does reinstalling SteamVR. I dunno what to do. I dunno how I can even get help with this, because of how unpredictable the issue is and how hard it is to reproduce. The only thing I can think of is.. finding a god damn FedEx Store near me (even if it’s in Kentucky), calling Uber to take me up there and back
home, and getting the headset RMA’d while it’s still under warranty.
But if it’s not the headset… replacing the video card is going to be very difficult due to the shortages (if I’ll even find one that isn’t 150%+ marked up from MSRP). Oy..
And if that’s not it, reinstalling Windows should get the problem out. Emphasis
on ‘should’. No guarantees.
I wouldn’t really doubt it’s the headset with how ‘well’ I treat it. Keep yanking the damn cord by standing on it (by accident) when I’m standing up to calibrate or
whatever. :/
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Didn’t expect it, but I welcome it
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Back in VR, headset’s working normally. I decide to visit Queenie as it’s been awhile and I just felt he needed his space for a bit. He was in a birthday world, but I’m not really sure if they were celebrating someone’s birthday. Never heard “happy birthday” or anything you’d assume.
Started off as staying away from Queenie as he was with others that I didn’t know, I eventually got bored and went up. He didn’t even know I was in the world from the way he
said “hey Benie!” Stayed up there as there were a few people I recognized from before. One time Queenie came up to me and said “paws, I demand them!” I happily lifted up my left leg for him to see. He thanked me. Then I laid sitting up on my bed for him to have fun with my paws, and have fun he did.
I didn’t really expect to ERP with him, over what he told me and Blender about not being in the mood. Clearly he was at that time. Asked if we “should go to another world” which I knew exactly what he meant by that.
–
He ‘showed’ me (more like I took a tour while he was getting his trackers on) a rather interesting looking world, he wants to make this his homeworld. It’s underwater and has a lot of cool stuff. It even has the world options, all disabled. That is.. no other world I know has done this. It’s perfect for full body use!
However, it just feels.. ‘too much’ to be a homeworld candidate for me. Two beds. This is a hangout world, not a ‘personal homeworld’ in my book. Still, it’s really nice. I like the underwater theme. It had me in the first half (of being a potential homeworld), not gonna lie.
Oh yeah, the naughty time was really good. Heheh. I now see why he was getting his trackers on. That was damn hot, Queenie. 🧡
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Classic Novice
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Queenie left for bed, as “everyone else is getting off” according to him. Debated if I should do the same, but I saw Novice joinable. He was playing Ghost.
I meanwhile, played around with the new weapons they added in the target practice. Novice did see me and said hi a few times, but he kept on playing while I had fun my way. Noticed the sign on my right showing the mirror is disabled due to people in public instances of the world wanting to stare at themselves instead of playing the game. Ehh. No problem for me, as long as I can have fun with this target practice.
Novice one time asked if I wanted to get out of here to another world. Said “I’m good, I don’t want to get in the way of you having fun”. Said he was done with the game and also told me he got into streaming and is having fun, but can’t really stream VRChat because of his weak CPU.
“Glad you’re having fun, dude. :)” That’s really all I could say, and got back to shooting targets. He said he was going to say goodbye to some people, then invite me to his homeworld. While he was saying goodnight to everyone, started thinking if I’d get lucky a second time this night.. but we shall see.
–
In his homeworld, I sort of waited to see what he would do. He laid down and we talked for a bit, and cuddled, and.. then he fell asleep. *facepalms* I was almost hoping we would do naughty time as I haven’t with him for awhile. Nope. I got c**k blocked by him falling asleep.
It was going past 4am, and I’m really losing my patience, becoming annoyed at his snoring. Again debated if I should just get off and go to bed. But after seeing I actually did manage to literally save my ‘Pop Escape!’ cheat sheet from hours of lost effort, before my computer restarted after the video card driver crash earlier, muted Novice instead and went to work on the .txt file through XSOverlay (noticing my settings in it somehow got defaulted after the crash), while also keeping a watchful eye on Novice if or when he does wake up.
He did by 4:20am (nice), and said “I must’ve fallen asleep, sorry about that”. I said “I saw you lay down Novice. Usually when you do, you fall asleep.” I didn’t meant for it to sound that harsh but.. if I had known I would’ve never joined, as my headset needs a break after that video card driver crash (aka another reason why I’m taking a break from VRChat).

But now we get to a much higher reason why I am…
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“See me as the ‘anti-Jero'”
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If the title doesn’t tell you something bad happened last night, I dunno what will. And that bad was Fluffy wanting to talk to me, while I was trying to focus on what I remember when I was playing the ‘Pop Escape!’ world.
I’m going to be brief with this as really, the conversation was going nowhere productive. Started off earlier that day of him sending me a picture of a dragon facepalming. I questioned it, and he said “tf”. I was really confused what he was even referencing with that picture, but.. now looking back at it, that was supposed to be ME not wanting to hear the lewd talk from him. *sighs*
Asked him “are you getting the help you need?” He said “yes”. I was “good good” and left it at that, going back to my work. A bit later he wanted to have a text conversation. I said “I dunno what to talk about”, but he had plenty. Said he “has wild hormones” and said the therapist told him this and that it’s “irreversible”. I called BS, remembering something I heard just that day of “don’t settle with one therapist tells you, keep searching until you find one that can help you”, and I told him just that.
–
Then he wanted to have a chill conversation. You? Chill conversation? It doesn’t mix. Told him what Jero told him (without revealing the name) that the name ‘Fluffy’ has been tarnished. He fought back demanding me to stop using the word ‘Zoophile’ and the
name ‘Frostbite’, or he would stop seeing help.
I wanted to tear him a new one, but I was going nowhere with it. Was forced to agree. I was trying… trying so fucking hard to beat sense into his thick skull, and all he said I
was “being very rude”. I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE RUDE, you sick FUCK!! I didn’t say that though, but he kept trying to have me change the subject (when he’s the one that brought it up in the first place). Ohh I’m not ending this until you wake the FUCK UP, and stop pretending life is a game!! And he just kept on with me “being negative”.
…Yeeeeah, sadly I never got my point across to him. I gave up trying and told him “just please stop talking to me.” And he’s all “this is why I hardly talk to you”. Likewise, Fluffy. Likewise.
There was one time when I said “see me as the ‘anti-Jero’. I told you, he has a lot more patience than I do.” Again, with the “being negative” response. ..I SWEAR, FLUFFY!! 🤬
You’d almost swear he’s delibertly trolling me, and I’m falling for it. Claims he
gets “scared” to talk to me. I sensed no fear with that.
—
Sent the entire conversation to Jero including how it started, and went to bed to cool off.
I half expected him to respond in the morning or sometime today, but nothing. Hoping the next day he’ll respond. But if he doesn’t for a week, something’s going on. But it’s way, way too early to start assuming the worst.

Posted in Computing, Drama, Personal, Politics | Comments Off on “you is a good boi for fwosty” / I was not spying! That’s bullshit! …Oh, hi Jero. / Not good / Didn’t expect it, but I welcome it / Classic Novice / “See me as the ‘anti-Jero'”

My thoughts with this latest breakup with Kovo and Nova

Posted on 02-13-2022 by Benie

It’s been a day since their breakup, and I’ve been feeling a bit.. panicked at times. As
in “I dunno if I can do this” panic.
This panic spurred off of Kovo asking me to take care of the server until he returns. What if he never does? Would this make me the new leader of the server? Likely. Am I worried about this? YES!! Why? It’s obvious. That famous phrase in Spiderman: “With great power comes great responsibility.” And Kovo’s owner responsibilities would be on my shoulders. It reminds me back in WoW, when I was temporarily in charge of the clan I was in… and I accidentally lead my clan to their death by the hands of the Horde, when I was trying to do PvP practice drills with Horde NPCs in the area. Instead we encounter the real thing and get our asses kicked.
–
Scared a slightly similar thing might happen if I was in charge of Mystery Skulls, in the form of a dispute with another server. Never happened before (with this
server) but, there’s always a first. What I’m mostly worried about is I would be responsible for handling inter-server disputes. Though I’d have the Admin team (hopefully) watching out for this as well. …*sighs* That’s another issue. Even as an Admin myself, there are a lot of things the other admins don’t see. I hate sounding all ‘high and mighty’ above the other admins but god damnit, I hate feeling I’m the only one that truly is doing their job moderating the server.
If I’m in charge, I’ll have to be more active in the voice calls. Yesterday was the first time I felt obligated to do it. It was Mibit and TJ in the call. Felt so quiet without Kovo there. Then TJ leaves to go eat dinner and take a shower, and Mibit’s unintentionally boring me with showing what he goes through to render one of his music videos. I was thankful when my mother wanted me, as I never put my headphones back on after I came back (and ended up leaving the call as I wanted to work on my blog post in peace).
This is what I’m going to have to deal with, if I’m in charge of the server.

What really made me panic is checking up on him last night, and he said he might be sick with a fever, and he would try to get an appointment tomorrow.
God, to have him pass away from COVID.. that would be such a brutal blow to the server. However, thankfully that’s not going to happen, as later he said his fever went down and he believes it was just stress. Thank you God. 😌 Phew.

Posted in Drama, Love Drama, Personal | Comments Off on My thoughts with this latest breakup with Kovo and Nova

When Bad needs a good friend / “Son, this is my other son” / Actually hanging with Orwin / Give Kovo some hugs…

Posted on 02-12-2022 by Benie

How I wish I had self-charging controllers and trackers, instead of them requiring me to stop being lazy and connect them to their chargers. Yes it only takes a few minutes but ugh. I also wish I wasn’t so lazy at times, when doing these blog posts. But there come times where I dunno what to say (and/or don’t want to say as it’s annoying).
You might notice that I’ve been almost rushing these paragraphs instead of being more detailed.

I’m also very saddened for a friend, of their very close friend (not sure if they’re still friends after this) who they’ve been with for years that decided to hide the truth of wrongdoing. But it was me as peacekeeper, the truth came out of someone that has a big crush on me.
However the way it was delivered to this friend, wasn’t exactly good.
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When Bad needs a good friend
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When I came on, I sent Jero a single invite request. Just one. Noting the time, I didn’t want to spam him invites. Checked my friends list and saw Bad was on. I also saw Queenie was on, but the two weren’t in the same world. Huh. That’s odd. Usually those two are hanging out with eachother. So I went to see what’s going on.
Entered a very familiar world, yet it also had changed quite a lot. It’s sunset, and the area where I first met Spitfire is gone (when I was dating Wolfdog). I tried looking around
for Bad and finally saw him.. alone? Looked for a way to get over to him without attracting attention to myself from the multiple other people that were in this world (and him not spotting me). Managed to get over. He was staring out at the ocean, looking upset. I assumed it was probably of that friend of his who passed away. Put my hand on him as a gesture of “I’m here for you”. He saw me. And when I asked if it was what I assumed, he said “no”. What he said, let’s just say felt… kind of dumb to be upset over?
But being a friend I tried to help him feel better. Basically he had an argument with a friend of his that was in the world we were, about VR. And the guy didn’t want to admit he was wrong. And this upsetted Bad.
–
Then he told me he’s getting an invite, and said “you might not want to come as there’s going to be a lot of people. You can still come, but I’m just going there to say goodnight to them and I’ll come back.” Told him I’d stay here in the world and wait for him to
return, and he left. Now being the only one in the world, I explored it a bit. Saw this yacht and tried to get on it, but couldn’t figure out how. There were these two jet skis that were positioned where you can ride them out to the back of the yacht, but I couldn’t figure out how you take control. It baffled me for the longest time.
Jero joined me surprisingly. We chatted for awhile and about a minute later, Bad joined.
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“Son, this is my other son”
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We talked about VR and PC related subjects mainly. Wasn’t really that much. Though one time where there was this chair and I sat down in it (in full body), Jero was a bit intrigued by it and acting like I had chairs enabled. Bad explained that it’s my full body causing this.
There’s also this funny time;

Bad’s muzzle was getting scrunched up by the hitbox of Jero’s avatar. Ahh, dynamic bones. You so silly.
It was 2am and Jero was getting quite tired. Before he left, there’s one thing I wanted to tell him. “So son. This is my other son. So this is a father-son(s) bonding” while trying not to laugh in shame for saying that. Jero was quite surprised, then said “brother!” while looking at Bad. The two hugged and I hugged both of them, giving them both a kiss.
This wasn’t exactly the way I wanted to be an RP father to two ‘kids’, as I’m quite a different kind of ‘daddy’ to them. Heh.
—
With Jero in bed, Bad and I talked about how I felt after he told me of the friend that passed away, and how he made me feel we’re going to reach a point that masks aren’t going to save our asses. He said the same thing Jero did, that it “likely isn’t going to happen” (according to scientists). So I’m glad to hear that from him as well. He also feels that eventually COVID’s going to be like the flu and common cold, where sure it’ll kill some people with weakened immune systems but the fear factor of the disease would be pretty much gone.
Jellyosaurus also joined, who joined the conversation about this. And overall it made me feel a lot better (not so scared of it.. though I’m still going to wear a mask), even being able to express my frustration with how I keep hearing the media talking about it and how sick I am of it.
Jelly feels what Jero told me, I don’t really have to do that as COVID doesn’t last as long on surfaces as it did before. But he also understands of Jero being a delivery driver that he needs to do that. Yes, of course.
—
Now we also had this random guy join us, goes by the name of ‘SonicBlu’. I checked out his profile and noticed the link..

At first I assumed this was what Grey one time wanted me and Blender to check out. But it’s not… this is the thing Wolfdog co-owns!! DUDE! So this is the guy who did those videos of their vacation in California. ..Oh my god, if I had known earlier I would had told him I knew Wolfdog.
That is wild. ..Wow. And he’s friends with Bad. Huh. That is awesome. Wonder if he’s friends with Wolfdog as well. Have I come full circle or what!?
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Actually hanging with Orwin
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This needed its own segment even though it was in the same world, as it was a huge accomplishment for me. Why? As I said before, he’s the only person that I know is older than me. But I’ve been so shy to actually talk to him because of that. Yet when he joins
us (dunno if he joined off of me or Bad), it’s time to finally break the ice and try to get to know him more. When I asked him “what brings you here, Orwin?”, he said he just showed up to check on us (and he was going to be heading to bed soon).
Almost immediately I discovered he likes (not loves) having his head patted. Not really sure if he’s into snuggling though. And he also knows a lot of Canadian history (being from Canada, that makes sense).
We were talking about COVID again and he actually helped me to understand this whole thing going on up there with the trucker convoy. It’s definitely not what I was thinking before (where they felt “oh, you don’t wanna get vaccinated? Well we’re not going to deliver your goods then. Because we don’t want to get sick”). The reason why I thought that is what my mother mentioned once of getting goods from Canada.
Instead, it’s them getting sick of their government telling them what to do, getting tired of these mandates because of COVID. Now that is commendable, with the way he explains how Canadians get very little sun in the wintertime compared to the US. And then he talks about everyone’s ohh so favorite subject– politics. Not going to lie, I was starting to fall asleep with him talking about this whole thing with Ukraine. I tried to stay active and
just ‘smile and nod’, but.. oof. Wasn’t easy.
So he likes talking about politics. A lot. Good to know. I swear it’s almost like I was standing next to my father, because he talked about politics. Funny as Orwin being two years older than me (I’ll still never get over that!! It’s so creepy, yet cool at the same time!).
–
Anyway, Orwin eventually did have enough of being tired and went to bed. I said “we really need to talk more often” but he didn’t exactly hear me. That’s fine though.
==============================================================
Give Kovo some hugs…
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Final discussion. This is still ongoing by the way. It was going to be the first segment of this blog post, but I decided to put it down here of the time I received this. Infact I didn’t know what was even going on.
Basically the night after I spoke to TJ about ‘the friend’ that Kovo wanted to tell her to stop being so lewd, she actually told Kovo that she’s sorry. And I thought that was it. However another person (due to the seriousness of this, I swore to Kovo and the person that told him, this leaker will remain anonymous) was messaging Kovo more. I was getting bits of messages from Kovo while I was hanging with Orwin (and then just Bad). Again I didn’t know what was going on.
That wasn’t until 11 in the morning (this morning), this same anonymous person messaged me. I do know this person and I got pictures. I was also told Kovo wants me to take care of the server “for awhile”. But since it was 11am and I had stayed up to nearly 6:30 in the morning (again because of friends), I wanted to get back to bed. But they wanted me to know now.
And what they told me… Nova, lied to Kovo yet again. Not just lying to him, but lying to me (the one that tried to save their friendship). She was cheating, again. And it wasn’t just with one person. It was, a LOT of people. Like holy fuck that list of names was huge. There was even a name I never expected to pop up.
…She ERP’d, with Rusty. Yes, that RustyDustyFox: the new.. *snorts* ‘leader’ of the Best Bois. More like ‘fake king’, but I digress. That was a long list, and it makes me sick. She even cheated with TJ.
I asked the friend “when did you find this out?” The friend said “a few months ago. As you can see from the pictures I’ve sent you of the list I’ve compiled, Nova has
been quite.. ‘busy’ not being loyal to Kovo. When I had enough data, I sent my findings to Kovo. Now I’ve sent them to you. I’m sure you find them quite disturbing.”
And I did. Nova, how could you?! You told me you’d change!! ..You clearly haven’t. The level of disappointment I have for her is immeasurable and my day is ruined (quite literally).

What’s worse, Kovo now has trust issues. Because of all the names that were on this list who didn’t come up to him and admit she cheated on him.
*sighs* .. I’m not going to fix their friendship this time. I’ll do my best to be there for Kovo but that’s as far as I’ll go. I refuse to discuss this with Nova, over how betrayed I feel. Hell I never even dated or ERP’d with her and I can feel what Kovo feels. Yes, the two never officially dated and the word “cheating” can’t really be used.. but the term “betraying my trust” can. She has lied to so many, and on top of it the messages I got between Kovo and her.. she’s trying to play as the victim. What the HELL. That’s just wrong!
–
EDIT: Nova’s made a blog post about this thing. For safety reasons I won’t be showing the link. In her apology, she realizes she’s been caught and can’t play the victim anymore. This is good, and *sighs* …I wish I could believe her, but I can’t. I just can’t. Not this time. She has betrayed my trust.
If she wants to be forgiven, she needs to seriously clean up her act. Whatever means she uses to help (as long as it’s not alcohol-based), she better use it and stick with it. This is going to take months.. if not years.
Honestly though… why in the fuck am I saying all of this?! This is an issue both Kovo and Nova need to solve as a team. I shouldn’t be the ‘white knight’ for Kovo. I honestly shouldn’t had even be helping him. …I just feel I’m doing more harm than good with this whole “she betrayed my trust”. Yelling at her through Kovo isn’t solving anything. Nova clearly has said she’s going to get help, but it will take time. And yelling at her through Kovo is making her think I’m assuming she can just take care of this ASAP.

Posted in Computing, Drama, Love Drama, Personal, Politics | Comments Off on When Bad needs a good friend / “Son, this is my other son” / Actually hanging with Orwin / Give Kovo some hugs…

Fluffy.. UGH!! / Jero makes up for what happened / Random friend shenanigans and where it went too far

Posted on 02-11-2022 by Benie

Despite the multiple times my mother interrupted me wanting to use my computer to place her food orders (while I had a blog post to write).. and dealing with Fluffy for almost all damn day, I had a pretty good day.
==============================================================
Fluffy.. UGH!!
==============================================================
This started off with asking Jero in Discord if he got his power back on. It was 12:25 in the afternoon when I asked him, and he said “power came back a few hours ago”. Fuckin’ hell. It was out for that long?! Wow. The hell happened for it to last that long?! He doesn’t know. But all it matters is that he’s back.
Then he sends me a cropped DM of Fluffy talking to Frost, and lordy the message Frost sent back to him. Says Fluffy’s “been begging everyone for nudes”. ..Ohh lord have mercy. Fluffy you really fucked up this time. Jero and I talked about it for awhile, how Fluffy’s going to get the cops banging on his door and having his name plastered all over the news if he keeps this up.
…An hour later, Fluffy’s now messaging me. Yay, we’ve come full circle (again). He’s talking about being “bumbed yet kinda pissed”. I played dumb to see how he would react and sending what he said to Jero. He said “lies” are being told, and says Frost is “leaking”.
What he said to Frost, was asking “are you lewd?” Seven months later, Frost responded.
I said “well Frost has stated in his VRChat bio to not talk lewd to him”. And he
says “there’s something wrong with him” and calling him “a ticking time bomb”. Ohh
no, don’t you be mad mouthing Frost there. It’s you that has a problem, Fluffy. Though in his defense, Frost never had it listed in his Discord bio (at the time) not to be lewd around him or Blue.
Then Fluffy wanted me to add him to Kovo’s server. When I told Jero he said “ohhh nooo!!”
I wasn’t about to allow this, so I lied my way out of having to send him an invite by saying I had “retired as an Admin”. Then when he asked if Kovo has the rank, I told
him “No, someone else is running the server now. Forgot who.” After I sent this to Jero, he busted out laughing and said “Freaking perfect”.
–
With that said, I started being a bit more serious with him, and told him he needs to get professional help with all of this. He claims his way of being a Zoophile is “different” than what people think. The way he sees it is being attracted to animals yes but nothing sexual. All he feels is love for them. And sure, there’s nothing illegal with that. That’s perfectly OK. But he doesn’t seem to understand that the word itself is disgusting, and I told him how serious this is.
He said “well I only started this lewdness when I joined the furry community.” and also saying “I don’t have issues I’m doing better than I have 1 year ago”.
😐..😑..🤭..😂🤣🤣🤣🤣 “I don’t have issues” YEAH RIGHT!! 🤣 You sure can fool me! And then he asks me “do you want to try again?” ..Uhh, no? I told him I already explained this months ago of what changes need to happen, and had to pin them for him to re-read.
Then he asks “is it really just that?” ..No no. It’s much more. Fluffy your name has been tarnished. You should kill it and come back to life as a new name; a new alias. However I never actually said this. This never came to my mind. The only thing that was, was trying to shove “I tried to WARN YOU IN THE PAST!!” down his throat. But it seems I finally cracked through and he actually is going to seek professional help, through therapy. Thank goodness. Fluffy isn’t a bad person by any means. He just wasn’t raised right when it came to love (at least that’s how he wants me to see it, like he almost puts the blame on me of him having feelings for me).
Not my fault of that though. Aftershock tried to teach him how to love the right way. It isn’t her fault either that Fluffy never caught on. I just hope this therapy helps him to be a better person. I told him “I miss the old Fluffy. I want that Fluffy to come back. But the fact you’re not going to change isn’t letting it come back.”
Maybe one day, the old Fluffy will come back. Jero though, is the one that felt the name
of ‘Fluffy’ has been tarnished and needs to be changed. I agreed. Dunno if Fluffy himself ever will.
Then Jero sent me a cropped DM of him talking to Fluffy, that him, myself and Fluffy should join VRChat and talk privately just like old times. I agreed to it, but Fluffy said “I don’t touch my computer anymore…” Jero semi-begged him to come, but nothing came from Fluffy since.
Then he told me he was going to get on VRChat soon, and I eventually did when I got my trackers strapped on.
==============================================================
Jero makes up for what happened
==============================================================
When I joined, I expected to get an invite from Jero. Instead I sent him one and he joined me. I said “now we wait for Fluffy”. But he told me that Fluffy would likely not show up. We spent time at the mirror talking about what happened. Overall just chilling and relaxing.
I told him about the bad day I had after the good day I had. He felt sorry for it. Then I told him about going to see Stray and how he really likes my Drex, and then the whole ‘Dragon Tales’ thing everyone was singing and how I’m wanted to say “MAKE IT STOP!!”
He chuckled, then wanted to show me an avatar he got from a world;

This guy, from the movie Pete’s Dragon. And yeah, this wasn’t the best world to show it off as you can see.
He’s a bit too tall. Jero then said I could clone it, which I tried. Clearly not FBT compatible. It’s just like BTD 4.0– the body is disproportional.
Later, we’re chilling in the bed. And this is where things get interesting. In the middle of him saying “My sweet da–” VRChat goes *BRRK*… oy. They had released a Quest-only update (promising the main update isn’t too far away), but somehow it was fucking up the servers.
Came back and thankfully didn’t have the issue with player voices becoming mute.. not yet at least. Later he wanted me to “teach him what happens when he gets bad grades”. We had fun. 🙂
Was relaxing next to him and it happens again. THIS time it muted his mic. Fuck you VRChat. Tried to come back and join him, but the game’s like ‘NO!! Calibrate your FBT first!’ and it forced me to restart yet again. This time I did calibrate, but I couldn’t join the instance he was in. So I sent him an invite to join the instance I’m in. Nothing happened. Found that quite odd. So I sent “please join my instance” in Discord, and he eventually did. When he did, he told me “they need to fix that”. Questioned what he meant, he said it’s the way they show invites and he isn’t seeing them as he was laying on his back.
He needs to get into the mods I do. ‘ComfyVR’ would solve that. But I never told him this as I’m sure he feels mods are bad.
Anyway, went back to what we were doing. The disconnecting thing happened one more time, but it was like the first time (and it never happened since).
—
After that, we relaxed to music as he told me he “might have to go soon” as he wanted to get to work. Got some good pictures to remember this moment;


Like tradition, Jero didn’t want to leave for a good long while. He had to force himself to leave. Heh.
Checked my friends lists, I saw Inari was on and went to go see him.
==============================================================
Random friend shenanigans / Dealing with TJ / Where it went too far
==============================================================
Inari and his friends were watching Sing 2. Found it a very cool movie, even though I saw the last quarter of it when I arrived. When it was over, I saw Malice was on and went to go see him. Instead it was more than just him. Jelly was there too, and so were people I didn’t know. As usual I stayed quiet, but they made me break the ice a bit. Though the other people did leave, and Jelly said “we got the world to ourselves now” and we started exploring it.
It’s pretty interesting. It has homeworld potential. It’s just missing… something. Just can’t put my claw to it. Oh yeah, the bed has no mirrors for full body angles. And you can’t turn off colliders (there’s no button). But I do like the genius way you can turn off the world music– just click the record player’s needle.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Dealing with TJ
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
TJ joined unexpectingly. Again I tried to keep my distance. I focused on Malice and very occasionally focused on TJ. She stared to feel something was up a half an hour later, but I said everything’s alright (totally not lying). Debated on respawning and trying to get TJ to follow me outside, so I can talk to her in private about what Kovo said. Finally did when I felt I had to. Malice tried to come over but he saw I wanted to talk to TJ in private, and went back.
I said to her of “someone I know who wishes to remain anonymous” told me to be careful around you. She tried to figure out the name and I told her to please stop trying to figure out (don’t do what Jero did and just listen to me). And she did listen. Though she already knows to be careful. She also knows to stop being so flirty around Kovo and Nova.
Though the more I tried to explain, the more I knew she was seeing through the lie that it was Kovo who told me this. I was just worried she wouldn’t believe him, which is why I had to put Kovo behind an alias. But I just couldn’t do it forever as it was difficult to do so.
She also has confirmed she is in an open relationship. With whom, I dunno. But that’s none of my business (I say that now, but when it came with Jero and Chris I wanted to know.. but I digress).
But yeah. She understands to be careful. And that takes care of that conversation. Now back to Malice and Jelly.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Malice wanted to go to “the world I did the sucky suck” while looking at me. *embarrassed cough* And so we did.
Jelly was like “you two have fun, don’t mind me”. I tried changing it around with “no, YOU two have fun! I’ll be right here at the mirror” with a smile. Malice came over to the mirror and laid down next to me, and started whimpering.

Started licking him which he was liking quite a lot. Malice, you are such a bottom. It’s sweet but it just doesn’t feel right doing this infront of his BF (even though they are in an open relationship). Still, I relaxed a bit and went with it anyway.. until their friends started showing up. Hi excuse me, I thought this was an Invite Only instance? But that’s the problem. Jelly was inviting all of his friends here. ..Meh. Whatever. Wasn’t really in the mood anyway (actually I was but this kind of killed it).
So now there’s three of Jelly’s friends here. A Rex, a Possum, and the guy who showed up about a month ago that Jero wanted to get the fuck out of there. He still has a speech impairment caused by COVID, that has forever changed his voice.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Where it went too far
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
The Rex guy (who goes by the name ‘Crispy’) started doing harmless jokes to this guy with the speech impairment. First time saying he sounds like Raj from Chowder. And the guy is literally sounding like the voice actor. And holy fuck he was killing it.. more like
killing Malice from laughing too hard. “Radda radda! You can go radda yourself!!” Then Crispy called the guy ‘Cheese <something, can’t remember>’ from the guy’s avatar. Little did we know, Crispy was mistakenly making fun of the guy’s speech impairment. What we felt was just jokes, the guy was taking them quite literally (as an insult). But Malice was too busy dying from laughter at the time to really hear what was going on. I was trying to tell him to breath, and so was Crispy. Thankfully Malice did eventually calm down.
–
Soon the guy had enough of this shit and let everyone have it. Really felt sorry for what he went through. Said it’s like having your voice box crushed into a pulp, and spending 12 million dollars only to realize the doctors can do nothing about it. And he started crying.
I…wow. Yeah Crispy, you went a bit too far there dude. But it was too late. The guy had left. Crispy had no idea what the guy was dealing with, and he knew he had to apologize.

.
.
Anyway, I dunno if that actually happened today. I hope it did and everything’s cool now. I was with Malice, who said he hates seeing friends in pain.

Posted in Drama, Love Drama, Personal, Politics | Comments Off on Fluffy.. UGH!! / Jero makes up for what happened / Random friend shenanigans and where it went too far

Kovo warns / Desktop gaming / Fun without Jero / Wish I didn’t go see Bad… / Fate rolled a 20 on Jero

Posted on 02-10-2022 by Benie

Kovo warns, do I listen?
==============================================================
I’ll start off this blog post with how Kovo’s been sending me a bunch of things about Destiny 2, but for a good reason. When the latest DLC hits, the game will forever change. Possibly into something that has a medium high chance of bringing me back into it. Might talk about it in the Games blog one day.
–
Anyway, he warned me about TJ. Told me to keep my distance from her. He’s worried I’m going to “be caught in a crossfire”. At first I assumed he thought I actually have feelings towards her, which I quickly dismissed. That wasn’t the case. The problem isn’t with
me. It’s with TJ. She doesn’t know what she wants, according to Kovo. And he feels she’s trying to be a black widow, to lead everyone she’s being flirty with, into her web. And that’s going to cause issues.
However he feels I’m doing the same with this whole Friends with Benefits thing. Though I’m also doing it in a different way than she is. I’m letting them know what’s going on. So don’t you fucking take this away from me, Kovo. This is the only way I’ll be happy. It’s not my fault I have a fetish for affection.
However, I shall keep my distance from TJ. She needs to get her priorities straight.
==============================================================
Desktop gaming
==============================================================
It’s been a long, long time since I really did things in Desktop mode. But I wanted to write a cheat sheet for the ‘Pop Escape!’ world (incase if anyone else wants to do it with me and I end up forgetting how to do it). It was difficult to rotate objects using the world, but I managed. Had fun.
Actually doing the laser part and completing it myself really felt like an accomplishment. Ironic thing is it was easier to do in Desktop than in VR (let alone full body). I’ve learned the pattern. It’s not that difficult. So that’s good.
I’ve gotten past the Historical Science lobby when I realized the time. Also saw Jero was on but orange status again. Got into VR.
==============================================================
Fun without Jero
==============================================================
A bit of a sad title, but I actually did have fun– mainly in Stray’s Theatre again, watching Stray doing shows for the people (in the theme of Disney movie songs). Though occasionally I was sending Jero invite requests (somewhat spamming them). Still nothing. Continued to wait. Now BADDECODE was also here, but I didn’t see him.
Was next to a few otters while on the upper balcony, one of them being their first time here and really enjoying the acts. Made me smile. Reminded me of my first time being here and how blown away I was. Of course things were different as they are now. I wonder what happened to that cool purple kangaroo guy with the 80’s shades: unknownname. Still remember him doing the ‘Gas Gas Gas‘ song. That was wild. He did the best
songs.
Had TJ join me, but I kept my distance and didn’t get so tease flirty with her as I did before. Inari and Ravenclaw also joined, but it wasn’t really to see me. It was to promote a model a friend of theirs made. It’s adorable.
Soon the shows were over. I went onto the conference room as Bad told me he was in there. It felt good snuggling him again. It’s been awhile since I’ve last seen him ingame. Thing is he wasn’t even supposed to be on at all. Says he’s “cheating” because of the concert.
==============================================================
Wish I didn’t go see Bad…, but some good came
==============================================================
What he said after, makes me wish I went to another world or stayed out of that room. “I have other news I need to pass.” After asking him why, he said “another one of my friends has.. passed away.” I said “ohh man. I’m so sorry”.
“Yeah. After Mondo it’s like… yeah.”… the way he said this, it’s sounds like he’s
saying “we’re dropping like flies.” That more friends who are dying from COVID. And with me being a hypochondriac.. yeah that wasn’t good to hear. And after Bad left to go see a friend of the friend that died, that’s when I really felt terrified. TJ asked if everything’s alright. No. I’m scared for my own life now, that one day masks are going to be useless against a mega-mutant of COVID. I’m sorry but this is how I felt at this time.
Had to get out of that world, so I could think.. so I could talk to someone. Anyone. Joined Barlett. I honestly didn’t know what to say to him.
However one interesting thing in particular happened. TJ left a minute after, and she never returned. Huh. I just found that quite interesting how she just suddenly left without even saying goodnight or anything to me.
–
I went downstairs in this world in order to think about what I was told. Was stuck in panic mode and didn’t know how to get myself out of it. Started spamming Jero invites to join him, nearly begging as he’s always the one that helps to make everything better.
I am sorry readers if this makes you want to either laugh or facepalm at me, however I never said you have to read this. However things do start getting better.

Getting close to having a panic attack IRL while literally pacing around the room, I found something in the corner that caught my eye. It’s a portable mini-maze you roll a tiny ball through the maze to get to the green marker at the end. “Wait, I remember seeing this a long time ago.” It helped to get my mind off of having a literal panic attack IRL, which is good. What wasn’t was Barlett’s friends suddenly showing up announced. Though I was able to slip by and went back upstairs, still holding the puzzle.
Then I thought “if I can’t be alone in this world, I’ll create a new Friends only instance of it” and did so. Was able to get back to the relaxing puzzle to further get my mind off of the whole COVID thing.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Some time passed and I was halfway to solving the satisfying puzzle. Jero joins me. Instead of looking for him as I’m assuming he’ll eventually find me, I kept focusing on the puzzle. Soon I heard behind me “puzzle time for Benie?” Half smiled and looked at
him, glad he was here.
Talked about what I was told, and how I felt. He says “it won’t happen. Any kind of mask will protect you”. Then he gave me this story of when he got Laryngitis and went to his doctor, and he wanted the all powerful cure all miracle drug: Penicillin. The doctor
though, had other ideas. Despite a younger Jero not really able to breath and in a lot of pain, the doctor gave him a story too. “I could give you these Penicillin pills as they are an antibody, but the more you take these.. over years your immune system’s going to build up an immunity to it.” As usual I wasn’t fully focused on what he was saying and remembering how I’ve been given a lot of Penicillin over the years and.. yeah
that’s totally what I need to hear right now!!
Jero rather quickly clarified himself after I told him how many times I’ve had Penicillin when I was younger, saying “no you’re fine! Your immune system should be fine.” He adds on with “as long as you use hand sanitizer after you touch something in a public place like I do, you’ll be fine” he said with a smile.
Mmm yes, definitely. I really need to get me a bottle of hand sanitizer I can use when I go
to Waffle House. I don’t want to catch COVID. Not at all. Shit scares me.
==============================================================
Fate rolled a 20 on Jero
==============================================================
We’re talking about other random things. Can’t remember what they were. But Jero was in my arms at the time and suddenly.. *poof*, he’s gone. He was just talking normally and then gone, just like that.
Started thinking he crashed and he’ll be back soon. So I waited, and waited, and
waited.. and waited even more. 20 minutes passed. No Jero returning. Well something’s clearly going on. Messaged him on Discord with “What happened?” 13 minutes later he says “This really sucks had a power cut again. It’s the water works on the main road I think.” So that’s what happened. Shit, man.
Waited in the world, hoping his power would come on soon. Decided to play with the puzzle again after completing it while we were talking before, and completed it again. An hour had passed, still waiting. It’s now 4am. I told myself “he’s not coming back. You might as well head to bed”. Decided to lay down on my bed.
4:27am. My mother sort of woke me up saying “you should get to bed”. Told her what I usually tell any annoyance, to bug off. However, she was also right when it turned 4:30. At this point I had it up to here with waiting.
Took off my headset and wanted to punch my bed of how unfair this feels, that fate took him away from me when I needed him the most. Started to relax when I told myself that I’m pretty sure he’s not happy either with this.

Posted in Drama, Love Drama, Personal | Comments Off on Kovo warns / Desktop gaming / Fun without Jero / Wish I didn’t go see Bad… / Fate rolled a 20 on Jero

Whoops! / Unwanted Altercation & The reason why Jero is on orange / Quality time with TJ

Posted on 02-09-2022 by Benie

Another mixed bag, but this one had more good in it. Definitely wasn’t so good when it started, but it got good at the end.
Oh, and I finally got the Orifice toggle animations to work the way I need them to, thanks to the VRChat Discord! ...It only took three long days until I finally got an answer. Now the rest of it I don’t need anyone’s help.
==============================================================
Whoops!
==============================================================
I’ve had this segment in my head the moment I finally realized what was going on. Basically I’ve been testing the Orifice toggle animations in desktop mode, asking
the VRChat Discord to please assist me (without thankfully having to discuss the reason why I need one to auto-switch the other off). Apparently I had the right idea with how I was coding it in the Animator, but I was doing it wrong.
–
After writing yesterday’s blog post and proofreading it to check for typos, I got in VR. Didn’t even bother calibrating (I really… really should had via a mirror for more than one
reason), but I saw Jero on blue status and had to join him ASAP. I was expecting to
get “why are you T-posing” responses and asked for a mirror. But everyone was looking and pointing at my crotch. Huh? I’m confused. I know I’m in a T-pose. That’s why I need to find a mirror. So why are you pointing at my– oh. Oh no. FUCK!!!! I forgot to switch avatars after I was done testing!!! 🤦‍♂️ After realizing I quickly switched to the SFW version. Ohh dear gosh. I’m so sorry! I forgot to switch as I was testing!! Thank goodness everyone there was over 18.
Jero tried to calm things down, telling me it’s OK and it’s normal to forget like that.
==============================================================
Unwanted Altercation & The reason why Jero is on orange
==============================================================
So we go from embarrassing moment, to toxicity (and the reason why Jero is usually on orange).
…Grey, was there. He said “I have a question for Benie. But I don’t think he wants to hear it.” I asked “what is the question?” He asked “why are you here?” I said “what do you mean?” He reminded me of saying how I don’t want to ever come back on VRChat again.” Then he said “you’ll do it for Jero but not for me?”
I played it cool and said “Grey, I’m not here for drama, I’m only here to chill and relax.”
So that’s what I did, but I heard him sighing his head off.. started eating at me. I saw Jero trying to snuggle me, but I saw Grey over there depressed. I wanted to talk to him about this, but at the same time.. couldn’t we had picked a better world for it? This isn’t the kind of world to have a private conversation in with others around.
I knew I had to get out of here before things got worse. Grey was becoming a ticking toxicity timebomb, about to explode. So looked at my friends list of who else I could
join, then started messaging Jero in Discord. He asked me (ingame) if I’m still there, and I said “yes. Yes I am”… but I won’t be for long.
I messaged him;
“I’m going to head to another world. …I’m afraid your job as a peacekeeper isn’t going to end anytime soon.”
After sending the message, I left to go see Lostwolf. He was in Stray’s Theatre. Kept being bothered by what Grey said. ..*sighs* Again I wanted to tell him “look, I know what I said. But I was going through a lot of shit back then. I wasn’t trying to delibertly avoid
you, Grey. I do not hate you.”… but that world wasn’t the time or place for that kind of conversation.
–
Got to see Orwin and actually had a proper conversation with him (for once). Maybe just maybe one day I’ll get to know him more and stop feeling he’s ‘better than me’. We could be good friends. 🙂
Jellyosaurus joined me (who was in the world). He had blocked Grey and said I did the right thing by leaving. I told him “I really wish you didn’t. Yes Grey has an attitude but he means well.” And he said “I just didn’t need that toxicity in my life”. I said “yeah, I understand.” He later left saying he was being invited.
Aaron and TJ joined later on, then Jero joined who was looking for me. Found him and he said Grey was toxic with everyone right after I left. And then he said “this is why I’m on orange status”. So now I have no right to complain anymore when I see him on orange. Never factored in that he still talks with Grey.
EDIT: Today (the 9th) I apologized to Jero for leaving him there. He said I did nothing wrong. “It was best to leave anyway” and “this is one of the main reasons why I keep my status set as orange”. He’s considering on (finally) blocking Grey, saying he’s “not in my good books right now to be honest really getting on my nerves”. Aye. Why I stopped talking to him. And Grey unfriended Blender the same time he did me.
Seriously Jero, block Grey. Please. You’ve done all you can to help him. He refuses to listen and all he’s doing is being an attention whore. It’s not worth keeping him around, ruining your mood.
—
We went to another world after that– a world one of Aaron’s friends made a long time ago. There’s a mirror here that took awhile to find (seems his friend was inspired by Kibble of having the button as a bush.. lol). The mirror itself, was small. I could barely fit in it, and TJ with her mamagen model.. yeah, this ain’t gonna work. And Jero acted like he was getting a bit claustrophobic of wanting to join another world.
I said “what about ‘Pop Escape!’? It’s a fun escape room world.” TJ wanted to do it even though she was there before. Aaron had to go, and Jero’s headset was bugging him again and said he was going to leave early. Instead I decided we’d go to the world where Jero met Jellyosaurus (and I met Jelly’s adorable BF).
Jero then headed out 15 minutes later, leaving me with TJ. Asked her “do you wanna
play ‘Pop Escape!’? She was up for it.
==============================================================
Quality time with TJ
==============================================================
Went to Pop Escape. Had lots of fun, and DJ helped me by getting past the laser part of
the Mission Impossible part of the world (all you do is jump over them). Why in the fuck that part even exists is beyond me. And when we finally.. FINALLY got past that
hellhole, TJ discovered what happens after you get the actual gem. ..You get the trunk keys for the van. WOW. All of that effort for fucking car keys!! D:<
The rest of it was pretty fun. Some of the puzzles felt they took way too long to solve. But at least the ending felt satisfying (to me at least).
The final puzzle was.. it was a mindblown moment. Hope you’re a scientist. But TJ was smart and solved it pretty quickly.

Completed the world in 3 hours and 15 minutes (as it shows above). Quite impressive, as Drowsee told me it took longer for him and his group.

After, we went to my homeworld and did the thing there before heading to bed.
Was awesome finally completing that world. Might do it again solo, to see just how far I can go.

Posted in Computing, Drama, Love Drama, Personal | Comments Off on Whoops! / Unwanted Altercation & The reason why Jero is on orange / Quality time with TJ

Harder than I thought / “He’s done this to me too.” / Why I wish I could join Frost’s server / Doing what I do best

Posted on 02-08-2022 by Benie

Last night and this morning was a mixed bag of goodness (and badness). It mainly revolved around three things: Avatars 3.0 being a bitch as always, Frost’s community desires…, and Scooby facing his past mistakes (and me staying up to 6am for him as that’s what friends do).
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Harder than I thought
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Onto the first thing: Avatars 3.0 being a bitch as always. What I was basically trying to do is something I want to learn how to do, but didn’t have the time to do so (and the mod I use sadly doesn’t do that kind of thing). Blame my laziness and not wanting my mother to see what I’m trying to test as the main factors of “didn’t have enough time” part.
As I said at the end of my last blog post, I found the Orifice models and followed
the (limited) directions on how to add them to my avatar’s two hands.
I did learn something– how much memory each of the ‘advanced math words’ takes. So let’s go over my notes here… ah yes: ‘Int’ and ‘Float’ each take 8 memory
respectively, while ‘Bool’ (which is used for your toggle animations), takes 1 memory. Now how did I learn this? Because the model’s State Parameters are 123/128 (128 being the max allowed to properly sync with other players). It sadly is a hardware limitation why the limit is in place, though there are ways around it (using Ints mostly). But that’s too advanced for me at this time.
–
So anyway, I managed (after figuring out how to get around the limit by setting
two Bools), ingame I had an issue. The DynamicP[Naughty]System will only allow one Orifice to be active, for it to properly work. I tried what I could, adding a switch where one would turn on and the other would turn off.. but I can’t get it to work right. The only way I can see this working is through an Int (and attaching Bools to it). I have to have
a ‘reset’ condition to do what I want (so both will turn off when I tell them to), and sadly
a Bool alone isn’t going to cut it. And as I said before, that’s too advanced right now for
me. And… the mod doesn’t do Ints. Hopefully one day, it will.
There’s so many things I wanna do with 3.0. Like see if I can have that same avatar dancer thing I’ve done in 2.0 (but just have an avatar-shaped prop I can pick up and rotate as if it was an object in a world). I’ve seen this happen time and time again with people spawning an object and able to set that same object as a pickupable object.
I wanna learn how to do this! But I bet it’s going to be a hell of a headache to set up. Anyway, I still need to work on the Orifices. They’re not exactly where I want them to be.
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“He’s done this to me too.”
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Having given up on 3.0 as what I want just isn’t possible with my current knowledge (and I should be happy I even got the submenu and the two Bools to work, thanks to the mod), I put myself as green status. Saw Frost was joinable and sent him an invite. Unlike Jero, I actually got an invite response from him. Before I joined him, I warned myself that Jero might be there or he might not, but don’t bug him over this.
In the world, Rezz ran into me while I was waiting for everyone’s avatars to load. He was heading to bed. Thankfully he was so tired, he didn’t realize we’re not friends anymore. I also saw.. “Queenie?! What’s he doing here?? (said in my head)” here. Is he friends with Frost now? Or did he join off someone else? The way he acted, I can assume ‘someone
else’ as he left five minutes after I arrived. Scooby was also here, which intrigued me a
bit. Usually Scooby’s DJing somewhere. To see him here, something’s going on. But I wasn’t about to ask what, as that’s none of my business.
Frost saw me and.. sadly I can’t remember the first thing he said, but the conversation went to “where’s Jeromeah? He’s always with you.” I said “…I’ve been wondering the same thing. Sent invites and he never responds.” And he said “let’s fix that” by spamming invites for him to join us. Told me not to worry. I said “I’m not worried. I’m just saying he’s been quite busy lately and won’t respond to me.” He stops me halfway and says “he’s done this to me too. You’re not the only one”. Thought of that for awhile.
Then I told him “last thing he told me is he was planning to go to the US to meet the otter group IRL.” Frost said “they had paid for his trip but something bad happened, and now Jeromeah doesn’t know if he should stay or go. I told him to stay, but noone listens to Frost.. until they find out the hard way.” I slightly chuckled, remembering Mibit and the open relationship advice.
Then Jero joined. Finally. Frost was telling him to “get your butt over here”. I could almost hear Jero saying things under his breath about being invited here, but Frost heard them. Finally he came over and Frost said “where have you been!? I’ve been worried so
much!” as if he was speaking for me. And as usual, Jero said it was the otter group he’s been with. Frost said “oh, your gay otter group”. I chuckled. Jero said “I would had invited you Frost, but I don’t know how they would react.” And he’s all “that’s OK I’m just messing with you. I don’t want any part of the circlejerking. To me, otters are plushies.”
Is that why Jero’s so huggable? Now I would say that if I still didn’t feel how I’ve been feeling, but I did my best to suppress it.
–
Suddenly Jero says “someone hit me on the head with an object” and then runs away. Huh…? I followed him. He seemed like he wanted me to. Then he looks at me and asks if I see Scooby in the world. I said “yes…?”, questioning him. He was confused why Scooby and Frost were in the same world, as the two had blocked eachother. I didn’t know what to say, not really remembering that far in the past. Then he said “let’s go back now”. I stopped him halfway, but I forgot what I said to him. I wanted to tell him about how he hasn’t responded to any of my messages in Discord, but.. fuck that was hard to suppress as I didn’t want to sound whiny to him.
So we got back. Frost was somewhat suspicious and asked what we were doing. I
said “nothing”. Jero spoke for me, trying to cover our asses by in a way saying we totally weren’t ERPing or anything like that. “Yeah, let’s just go with that” I said in my head.
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“Ohh god!!” / Why I wish I could join Frost’s server… but can’t
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A bit later I whispered to Jero “hey Jero, remember that ‘thing’ we last talked about?” I said with a smile? He was confused. I leaned over to his ear and said “son”. He remembered and nodded. I chuckled, pointing to Frost in a way of saying “we should tell him. Heh.” It took awhile for him to realize what I was trying to say, and he said “daddy!”
Frost said “I’m not your dad”. I said “no, I’m his dad. Jero’s my son now”. Frost paused for the longest time and his reaction after, was priceless. 🤣🤣🤣
–
Going past the toe licks, the pictures that were taken, Frost showing he’ll go above and beyond for his friends (of being a temporary bottom for GyLala, who I discovered is a guy through Frost), and Jero seeing what looked like one of those tiny pieces of folded paper you see attached to a plushie.. inside Frost’s butt and Jero wanted to ‘get a closer
look’…. oh god, I told them “let’s not speak of this again” with Jero dying from
laughter, Frost had a more adult note to say.

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He told us that he cut ties with ‘Drax’. I don’t know this person, but from the way he explained.. this ‘Drax’ was pretty close to Frost’s heart. It happened two days ago, which is why I wasn’t able to see him in time the day before (he was offline back then but left a few minutes after I joined).
–
The conversation then goes to him asking me if I “saw the announcement” and then
says “wait, you’re not part of our server”. I said “I need to join your server”. His announcement is him and BlueDrago are finally getting married on the 22nd. Dunno if this is a VRChat wedding, or an IRL wedding. I’m guessing IRL. I gave him my congratulations on getting engaged, but he had fun with it and said “and congratulations to you as well, for whatever you’ve done”. Ohh Frost. Jero also gave his
congratulations, and Frost thanked him. I see how it is.
Later he talks about the server, and how he strives to give his members the best. And even spent $10,000 on 10 commissions ($100 a piece). Not everyone was happy with it. And I said to him “that reminds me of the plaque incident back in the Best Boi era” Frost was confused of what I meant, so I explained how someone found a beta version of the world and found the plaque with a bunch of names on it that Kibble felt contributed to the
server in certain ways, and this caused a lot of anger within the community. He says “what I went through isn’t anything like that. I explained to everyone that I just spent $1,000 for the server, from my own wallet and I’m sorry I didn’t get everyone.” Aka he fells they were ungrateful, which is understandable.
Then he says “if they wanted to pitch in, I’m sure things would had been different”. Jero says “I would had pitched in”. Remembering I pitched in for the MRT Server back in the day, I said the same thing. Then he says “that was still a lot of money..”
Mmmm. I get it Frost. That’s very commendable what you did. He wanted to do something nice for his server, to give back to the ones that contributed the most to it.
He’s even doing a server-specific world for everyone that has contributed, and explained it the best he could. Said he “doesn’t like asking for help” but knows he’ll eventually have to if he wants his vision to become reality.

He’s doing so much for them… which is why I can’t really join it. Lost my desire for a community-based server when it came to the Best Bois. I’m sure he’ll try to change my mind to ensure me what happened won’t happen again, but the damage has already been done and can never be repaired.
I don’t really want to enter ‘Frost’s World’. Feel like I’ll leave Kovo behind if I do, plus having to be active in it? Contribute to it…? Sorry, but I’ll pass. Kovo’s not even there either, but he has his own reasons (with work and being with Nova). Kovo’s server is as far as I’m going to go for a community-based server. I just don’t feel comfortable with joining more than one, with as much of that “I hate being bothered” feeling I have in me… just wouldn’t feel compatible there (why I haven’t rejoined Stray’s group, or
joined Lostwolf’s ‘Pan Gang’).
Not a community person as I used to be. Though one slight incentive of actually maybe joining is Frost telling us that Chris (aka Tinkerfox… aka Jero’s old BF in 2019 while I was busy feeling I’ll never see Jero again) left Frost’s server a long time ago. There was a lot of drama with Chris from what he told us (as if he was telling me personally as Jero likely already knows about this). I wish I was recording through OBS to remember all the juicy details he was saying. Really wish I could have a macro that will delete content by pressing a button on my controller to avoid the file size get too large, but I digress.
—
It was around 4:20am (nice) when Frost said he was heading to bed and did. Jero left shortly after, leaving me with GyLala. Gave me time to think of what I learned from this. Was thinking of heading off myself as was almost bedtime, but I knew Scooby was still in the world.
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Doing what I do best
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Five minutes after both Frost and Jero left, Daybreak also left. Heard Scooby coming from the back area. Joked when I saw him by asking “did you two have fun back there?” He was confused by my question, so I explained it better. He said “well.. maybe a little bit, but we mainly talked. I had things I needed to talk to him.” I nodded, said I understood.
I then asked him how life was treating him, as a friendly gesture. I didn’t really expect him to open up to me about what was bugging him. I expected him to lie and say everything’s alright and then say “someone’s inviting me” to get out of there (like I would had done if I didn’t want to talk about it).
But I guess Scooby trusts me enough to tell me. Anyway, it was his BF. He explained that his BF has ‘locks’ in their life and one “had broken”. Now at the time I wasn’t really sure what he meant by this, but looking back at it now.. it almost sounds like what I went through with Cola. How I said (back then when the group was around) he was in a shell that couldn’t be cracked open. This whole ‘lock’ thing Scooby’s BF has, sounds like
it.
However, that’s not it. Not even close. So I’m confused even more with this
whole ‘lock’ thing.
–
The BF stopped talking to Scooby and it’s been a few days, which is why I say it’s not the same as it was with Cola. It’s more.. Jero-like; not saying “I love you” back. What makes this tricky is they’re in an open relationship, and he knows of a guy his BF likes very much. So in a way it’s that ‘You VS the guy he tells you not to worry about’ meme from what I’m understanding here (except this isn’t a meme).
I would had looked into this situation further (like asking “have you two seen eachother IRL or through pictures?”) …if it wasn’t 5:30 in the morning and was feeling tired, but I stayed on for him. But from what I was able to understand and process a solution to the problem, Scooby has been pulling a Kovo by sending way too many messages to his BF as he’s worried. It’s only been two days and Scooby was almost flooding his BF with messages. Told him I understood, but at the same time… yeah.
Told him to give the BF some time to be alone, but give it a week at the longest. Going by my own experience and what I was told over the years, don’t freak out if it’s been two days. Give it a week. If nothing changes.. then something’s going on. This isn’t the first time I stayed up ’till 6 to be with him. Even Kovo’s done it. But it seems Scooby isn’t really learning from his past failed relationships.
I made this perfectly clear to him of what I’ve been through, that he needs to realize where he’s messing up and improve upon it. “You don’t know how many times I blamed myself. That I swore I would never come on VRChat again. I don’t want you to be like
that, Scooby. Learn from me.” He sighed and said he would try.
–
The conversation then changed to something I didn’t really want to talk about after talking to Frost and Jero (about him). He wanted to know why everyone hates him, what he did wrong in the past. It was now becoming nearly 6 in the morning, and I told him “look, we’ll talk about this later, alright? I really need to get to bed. Like now.” But his mind wouldn’t allow me to leave. It wanted answers from me. *sighs* Fine. Told him this news does not leave this world, and made him agree to it (as I’m sure Frost and Jero would not be happy with me over this).
Then I said what Frost told us, how Scooby didn’t want Frost to be around. And when we went to a game world, he kept Frost from joining by lying to us. When Scooby heard
this, he remembered. He said “it was because of what Kovo said about Frost. I blocked him”. I personally don’t remember any of that, only from what Frost remembers. Do remember the world, and the picture. But never the fact he never wanted Frost to be around.
It was now 6:01am. Sorry Scooby, but enough is enough. I’m going to bed now. Now that his mind had answers, he allowed me to leave and I did. Oy.

I pray he doesn’t go up to Frost and leak out what I told him. He claims he doesn’t want to cause drama.. well, you sure can fool me. Still remembering what Jero told me about
you, when you two dated in a not so exactly effective attempt to make me feel jealous (and not paying back the money Jero gave you for rent and food). But I did tell him “nomatter what, I’ll always be your friend”.
Oh, forgot to mention: he also asked me if I “still remember Mike. Aka Phantom Wuf.” No shit I still remember good ole Wufy. He asked in a slow, scared way if I still talk to him. I was honest with him, saying “not as much as I used to.”
Says he misses him and BlueBio. I’m not sure if he misses them as much as I missed Jero in 2019. But overall he does have that same feeling I did of a hole in his heart that yearns to be filled. Told him this is exactly what I went through. And I’m surprised and was kind of slightly annoyed he didn’t say “I know Benie, you’ve been through a lot”. But, ehh.
Just, maybe if he understood my pain he’d know where he fucked up and how to improve himself, like I have.

Posted in Computing, Drama, Love Drama, Personal, Politics | Comments Off on Harder than I thought / “He’s done this to me too.” / Why I wish I could join Frost’s server / Doing what I do best

Needing to have balance after such a good day… sucks major ass. 😒

Posted on 02-07-2022 by Benie

There’s an old saying, that you “gotta take the good with the bad”. Or there must always be something bad that happens that balances the good as too much good is ‘boring’.
…I disagree to both of these statements when it comes to my close friends. but balance gives me the big “fuck you”.
Seriously, Sunday (yesterday)… felt like a god damn weekday for me. But sometimes even the weekdays have even more fun than what I went through. Dunno what the fuck happened to have it feel like (or what I did to ‘deserve’) a dull weekday-like Sunday.

Bad wasn’t on. Blender wasn’t on. TJ was on but left a half an hour after I joined. Most friends I wanted to join were either orange status, in a private world, or both.
And Jero… ooooh Jero. The words I have for him. Again, orange status. Unjoinable. Again wouldn’t respond to messages. I even asked him “․․․Please let me see you‚ Jero․ Or tell me why I can’t․ ∗sighs∗”. Nothing. So I removed him from my Friends With Benefits list and swore never to send him another invite ever again).
I’m sorry Jero. I’m sure you have your reasons why you can’t invite me. Could’ve fallen asleep or been with a group that doesn’t allow others outside of said group. Hell, last time I spoke to him, he’s still trying to save up for a trip to America to meet the otter group IRL. Dunno if he’s still doing that.
But god damnit man. You won’t even respond to any of the messages I’ve been linking to you in Discord. Of course I’m not the only one. I still remember Bandana getting pissed over this. Probably upsetted him too of having to ask why.
Well I’m done asking (unless I bump into him through one of my other friends). If you don’t want to take the time to say anything, then I guess you don’t really need me in your life. Who knows, maybe he found someone who swears won’t hurt him, and he feels he won’t hurt this person. Though that’s highly unlikely.. relationships like that wouldn’t blossom in a few weeks. Think a few months for Jero to trust the person enough for a romantic relationship. Though I’m sure somewhere he’s still thinking about me. He just can’t really think fully. That or he’s really been busy. Because he’s posted nothing in the extreme-wtf channel for awhile. That’s kind of unlike him.
I still see him coming on in Discord. He just doesn’t respond to messages. It’s about time for me to learn.. to stop sending him anything and accept I might never see him for a very long time (or a short time, as I said I might run into him via another friend or a friend of his. I dunno).
I’m. just. tired of dealing with this. No more. You tell me you “don’t want to hurt
me”, yet you’re not thinking your silence is hurting our friendship.
So just keep it up. Because one day I might get so tired I’ll unfriend you, and declare you forgotten. Likely jumping over the deep end here and the next day it’s going to be like, all good again. Now that I had a bad day, maybe I’ll have another good one…? …Maybe?? What do you say, fate? Wanna stop being a bastard for once?!
–
Moving on from Jero, TJ as I said earlier, was on. Yet she never sent me an invite either. And half an hour later, she leaves. My only guess is she was going to bed to prepare for work. And Blender, likely was busy doing animation work for friends (or was asleep almost all day).
So I tried to hang with whoever friend I could that was joinable.. even going as far of trying to join Orwin as I was that desperate. But VRChat lying to me that he was in the room and an issue my trackers caused (of walking instead of running) made me lose the opportunity to say hi to him. Instead I hung out mainly with Stray. He absolutely adores my Drex. So much that it brought back.. really, really, REALLY cringy memories of being friends
with Raymond of him singing… singing that.. that… song. I was seriously about to scream when Stray and his friends started to sing that song while all being around me!! AAAAHHH!! MAKE IT STOP!! CRINGE OVERLOAD!!!
Outside of that madness, Stray took us to several Jurassic Park themed worlds. Was pretty damn cool of the way they modeled a Brontosaurus as its 1:1 replica to show how fucking huge those passive creatures were, 65 million years ago.

Then it went to whoever was remaining when Stray went to bed (again.. that wasn’t in a damn private world), before I got fed up and left. For example, hanging with Drowsee and hearing his BF talking who’s discussing how they should be running their Discord server. I had to get out of there as I was getting Grok vibes at times (thinking any second I would be given an invite to their server).
However something good came out of this. Drowsee completed the Pop Escape world– she got past the laser part that I assumed was ‘bugged’. And unlike others who told me
they “had to use mods” to get past it, he got passed it legit. Says it “takes time but you’ll eventually get it. It took me 20-3o tries until I mastered the pattern.” I said “I can’t even get past the first laser in that room! It keeps detecting me!” His answer is something I never factored in– avatar height. That and having to use precision movements. So I might give it another go one day, if there’s noone on to do it with.
–
Finally I hung out with Spitfire, and also who I assume was a good friend (or his BF). They were busy jamming to a song at the time, and I went off after that.
.
.
Last thing before I actually go to bed: I found the Orifice in the DynamicP[Naughty]System, and I -think- I got them properly attached to my hands. There’s a way to turn them invisible, but I’m holding up on that until I test them out. But since I’m too tired and annoyed at life right now, I’ll be doing testing tomorrow evening. Once I know they’re placed correctly, I’ll remove the render and then I’ll add a simple toggle (via that mod Blender sent me) and add that to the Naughty submenu (as another submenu).
Though I wonder how you do that. It clearly is possible, as the naughty I have has done this. Just need to look at it closer, see how it’s done and try to recreate it using the mod.

Posted in Computing, Drama, Love Drama, Personal | Comments Off on Needing to have balance after such a good day… sucks major ass. 😒

Jero back to his old ways (again)? / TJ’s way to show she cares / Blender fails to prove he’s a switch / Being fair

Posted on 02-06-2022 by Benie

Hello everyone. Yes it has been awhile since I’ve made any VRChat related blogs. The reason is nothing bad, it’s more of trying to think of a good title and how to start it. In the past, this was natural to me. Now with… good lord I dunno how many titles I’ve made over the years; likely over 100, but I digress.
There’s also the factor of what happened not really being newsworthy. There are also ones that are a bit too.. well, personal to where I live (for example a few weeks ago a house in a neighborhood close to me caught on fire. I got pictures of it, but I dunno if I want to share them over safety reasons). Things like this. I also played an SCP game with Kovo and his friends. It was more me confused and trying to stick together than really learning
much (unlike what Kovo said). Played the (very buggy) VR version as well (even claims it has full body, but didn’t use my trackers. Huh).
Also, unrelated note: pinched my right index finger trying to open a tub of cat litter for my mother yesterday. So my typing is a bit slow and I might get a few typos going here and there. Hopefully it’ll heal up soon.
–
Oh yeah. One last thing. It’s pretty obvious to myself and Kovo that TJ (part of Mystery Skulls) has a crush on me. How she acts, and says things I love to hear. And when Kovo asks if she has a crush, she gets so flustered (more than Nova). It’s really cute, and
sweet.
Thing is, I have no real feelings for her. So she can flirt as much as she wants to, but I’m only going to see her as a close friend. Though… it would be cool to have an
actual girlfriend for once (to prove to myself I’m still bi). But I don’t know her that well to really seek out that kind of relationship. Best to hold up on it.
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Jero back to his old ways (again)?
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Saturday night is usually a fun night. This one, slightly was a disappoint of not being able to hang with Jero. Can only assume he’s with his otter friends again. Even sent him a message and still didn’t get anything. So is this his ‘perfect example’ of him not wanting to hurt me, by not even responding to my ingame message to let me know he’s OK or whatever? Or just ‘Jero being Jero’? The fact he won’t even message me on Discord, I’ll let you figure out the answer.
Not mad, just a bit disappointed with how he claimed to “not worry, send me an invite anytime”. Meh.., whatever he’s doing though, he’s apparently doing alright. So that’s good at least.
Well let’s move on, as I was able to join Blender at least.
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Flying fun / TJ’s way to show she cares
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So as I said, I ‘was’ with Blender (more like watching him playing UNO in a world, playing that endless game of whits and friendship destroying). AKA why I don’t play it. 😛
Stayed infront of the mirror. Luckily I only had to wait five minutes until they showed up. Turned around and a random person came up to me and asked if he could pet my head. I was OK with this. Then I met Blender in a purple-pink Nardodragon. Asked me (twice) how I’m doing. After the second time a random guy in full body came over and started poking him at his stomach. Freaked out when Blender changed his skin into one from Avatar. Heh. That’s one way to have someone fuck off. 🙂
Friend of his opened up a portal to Test Pilots. The name of that world will make sense a bit later. Blender’s telling me they’re going to fly planes and he knows I’m in full body and acting like I’m going to stay here or go to another world. Of course not. I’ll go there in order to hang with him.
–
Went into the world and waited for Blender to join. Surprisingly he didn’t come sooner. Guessing he was still talking to one of his friends in the other world. He did eventually join. The quiet kid of his friend group was already in a helicopter, flying around and then carpet bombing us. Which prompted more of his friends to take flight and shoot them down.
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Then TJ joined, and did her usual TJ things around me (being flirty and stuff and I was eating it up because I love affection).
Though the next thing I remember is talking to Blender while he was talking to his
friends, then TJ gets in a plane that’s pointed right at us… sets the throttle all the way forward and it goes over us, and it feels like she chopped my head off with the wing before taking off. One of Blender’s friends is blown away with how careless TJ was. All I could do is stand in slight disbelief then started laughing my head off. “So I was treated like a preying mantis. Tried to chop my head off!” 🤣🤣
She showed up, unaware what she did. “So TJ, am I your praying mantis? Chop off the head of the male, with a jet wing?” She started apologizing and stuff, and I said “I’m gonna tell Kovo this”. And she’s all “nooo! No Benie please! I love you!” I had decided (for
now) to not tell Kovo. That wasn’t until sometime later when he sent me something, and I told TJ I was messaging ‘someone’. That’s when I decided to tell him.
An hour later (after we had fun in my homeworld as Blender left to see another friend), TJ tells me Kovo messaged him. This started annoying her, and she wanted to get back at Kovo for making her blush. And the way she wanted to do it was cut off his ‘horny privilege’.
Not sure if she actually got her revenge or not. I hope she did.
—
I then got an invite from Bad. Asked TJ if she wanted to come, but she wanted to go to bed and did.
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Blender fails to prove he’s a switch
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So I joined the ole standby chillout world that everyone usually uses: Room of The Rain. Blender was there, so was Queenie. And a friend of BADDECODE. Can’t really remember what was mainly said as I was busy letting Blender have fun with my avatar’s feet. Blender also wanted Queenie’s feet.. which would kind of be his downfall and started whimpering like a true bottom as Queenie was rubbing Blender’s crotch with his feet. Hehehe. I even said “ohh Blender, you’re a true bottom”. He looked at me and said “no, I’m a switch. I banged a girl yesterday” and he said this a few more times as the night progressed, as if he’s trying to assert himself as a switch.
This kind of got to Queenie one time and he asked Blender “do you want a trophy for
it?” or something like that. Can’t fully remember what was his answer to Queenie’s question, but it was on the lines of “no”.
Then Bad goes over to me and snuggles me, and I snuggle him back. I whispered to him that I “got the DPS working” and he says “nice”. Then he says he’s not really feeling lewd and “maybe after breakfast”. Queenie overhears him and acts like a mom figure to
him, telling him to get his breakfast (who knows, Queenie might be his RP mother). He replies with “okay mom!” which makes me chuckle.
–
Bad leaves to get his breakfast. Queenie’s talking about only a few other people can make him horny. Blender kept trying, but to no avail. Yet he can make him horny.
Then the conversation goes about avatars, of Queenie having one called a “Gremlin” or something like that… it looks nothing like that old movie with those creepy things. Blender seems interested in the model, and then I ask him “well why not get a kobold?” and he’s not going to become one. So I asked him simply “why? What do you have against kobolds?” He says because “they look like dragons but they’re not”. Yes, that is indeed true. “But Kobolds worship dragons”. Blender looks at me like “…what?!” I said “it’s in
the DND lore, that Kobolds worship dragons.”
Queenie’s all “I don’t need to be a Kobold to have someone worship me”. That’s fair. Then Blender says he’s got two avatars he wants to get (and one of them isn’t a Kobold).
==============================================================
Being fair
==============================================================
Bad comes back from his breakfast, and goes up to Queenie first after turning on the mirror and stuff. He asks him if he enjoyed his breakfast, and then says “mommy’s happy”. Heh. Cute. Then Queenie wants to go to bed, and tells us to “have fun”.
Bad says “I’ll have fun with someone”. Queenie asks who, and Bad says “the red one”. I chuckle (as I knew he was talking about me), and then Blender says “ouch..”. I felt bad after chuckling and was kind of hoping BADDECODE and Blender could have fun instead to be fair (as I already had my naughty fun with TJ).
Blender’s talking to Queenie as he’s about to go to bed, then notices Bad licking my butt. He looks at him and says “I sense bottom energy”. Bad says “Mhm”. Blender says “so that’s why they call you ‘BADdecode’. He chuckles while I do but slightly, enjoying this funny conversation.
Then I pull out my naughty. Before I realize.. both Blender and Bad were licking it. “Oh wow. Hehehe” I said. Badde chuckles and asks “is this what you want, daddy?” I thought about it and said “sure, I like it”. Definitely.. different. But not bad. I didn’t feel awkward with the way they had me, only blushing IRL and chuckling as this felt really nice and totally ‘wholesome’. 😂
They took turns being naughty, with Blender being the real power bottom and finishing things off while Badde stayed next to me and licked me. Wow. That was… wow. As I said I was quite alright with it. Then after, Badde got in one of those pickupable chairs. Blender grabbed it and placed him upon my naughty and had fun there, saying “boingy boingy boingy”. Looking back at this, all I can do is chuckle and smile.
I took over and finished things off for him. After finishing, Blender needed to go to bed.

.
.
That was.. fun. Surprisingly fun. Like, holy fuck the DynamicP[Naughty]System is awesome, and wild. I just wish I didn’t feel so… ‘insulted’ over what felt like an inability to pleasure my friends when Kovo sent me that one version of it.
Glad I got to really test it without going to that highly controversial Foxhole world. Need to add an orifice to both my hands, where I can properly naughty myself when there’s noone around to ‘do it for me’. Just need to learn where the device is and add it. The rest should be easy to do with that mod (just add it to the new submenu I created).
I also wish I could make a new animation to control the naughty’s length with a
slider, instead of a toggle animation (and not risking of messing up the current animation).

Posted in Drama, Personal | Comments Off on Jero back to his old ways (again)? / TJ’s way to show she cares / Blender fails to prove he’s a switch / Being fair

When a degree above freezing saves you from a damaging ice storm

Posted on 02-04-2022 by Benie

What a crazy day I’ve had. I was highly convinced we’d lose power, and expected to wake up not having power.
This storm has been talked out for a week. First it started with trying to figure out its
track, then it’s about just how much ice we would get. Was told to “not look at the totals as that’s sensationalism”– aka other people showing ridiculously high totals that only confuse people. This always happen after every storm, and it definitely needs to be stopped. It’s not accurate. All it causes is fear for no reason. If you want facts, you don’t rely on a 3rd party weatherman. You rely on weathermen who actually went to collage for years and know how to read models, and know the NAM is often BS when it comes to predicting winter weather (as it’s usually wrong).
–
So, a few days away until the storm moved in. Would start off as rain Wednesday, then transition to ice Thursday morning.. with a perlonged ice event (why we were under an Ice Storm Warning). They said it shouldn’t be to the levels of the 2009 ice storm, but it could be close in some areas.. and the areas in question, we were in that band.
I felt we should get our food from the fridge into the freezer outside, to protect it once our power went out. Again, I felt it was a guarantee, because they predicted up to .75 of Ice. That’s a lot! That, is a CRIPPLING Ice Storm. My mother had her doubts it would even happen. She wanted to be in denial and pretend everything was fine, to protect her precious cat. You don’t know just how annoying it feels, when she refuses to listen to facts.

Wednesday Afternoon and evening, it rained and rained. Luckily we didn’t really get the flooding rain they were worried about. Was mostly light. Anyway, I planned to
launch ‘Operation: Food Freeze’  by the time I go to bed. The plan went into affect as two stages;
Stage 1: Get everything in bags and shove them all in the freezer. I realized freezer burn might happen for refrigerated food, but I rather have that than spoiled food.
Stage 2: Cokes and stuff like that, put it in a cooler and throw ice in it, then put it outside. The cold temps would keep the ice from melting, keeping my drinks safe.
Went to bed when it was done. As I said I expected to wake up and see the power out. Instead it was hovering at 33F for three hours. It’s like, most of the ice was missing us. And then when we got into the ice, it turned into an ice/sleet mixture (which even more lessened ice secretion) and the risk of power outages. Still, I kept with the plan for ‘just incase’ I was right.
2pm, nothing. 3pm, nothing. 4pm, nothing. It was at 4pm when my mother claimed one of the local news channels said “light freezing rain = good”. Yet the one I was following, said the exact opposite (because of the runoff). Light freezing rain gives it more time to freeze and do damage, and she does her “I don’t know” line when she refuses to understand something.
It was almost 6pm. The news channel I was following said it was soon going to become all sleet and this would lessen out ice risk even more. Mother however claimed we were going to get all snow, and we had another argument over two channels doing two different forecasts. Finally the truth came out that she saw it wrong…though, she also said they worry about tomorrow night into Saturday morning. Though it won’t be from what falls from the sky, it’s the brutal temperatures with this arctic high pressure aka what’s called
a “displacement in the polar vortex” they’re concerned with. We’re going to hit 0F to 10F(as an air temp.. not wind chill) at night. That is very, VERY cold. And the windchill will be even worse.
What they’re concerned with, is the power lines could snap like a toothpick with that kind of air temperature.

Night was coming, so I decided to turn everything back on and ate dinner. 8pm came and they were showing a transition to snow, and felt “alright, threat is gone”. Turned on my fridge and brought everything in. Now I stupidly wasn’t wearing gloves when I should had and I pray I didn’t get a small bit of frostbite on the fingerprint part of my left ring
finger.
There’s a small pen-sized hole on my finger, but there’s also a small bit of discoloring near it. Though, it doesn’t feel numb or cold. It just stings a little from the pen-shaped hole. So I believe I’ll be OK. Definitely taught me a lesson to always use gloves while working outside.
Think I accidentally cut myself on the ice. I wasn’t really out that long to get frostbite. And my body temp wouldn’t really allow that to happen. Plus, why only on one finger? I had both of my hands going to do this, and that’s the only spot? Hell, could be just frostbit, and I read it’s not really anything to worry about.

I slightly worry more if we don’t get enough melting of the ice on the lines during the day. The temp is supposed to get close to 30F, then drop down at night.  Hopefully that 30F will give time to get the ice off the lines (around here at least).

Posted in Drama, Weather Alerts | Comments Off on When a degree above freezing saves you from a damaging ice storm