Explains what I’m going through, and what’s going on (and why this requires a ‘Part 2’) post. I’ve only done this a few times that I can remember, but I’ve never had drama that has lasted for this long.
Just chilling in VRChat, I was with Wolfdog at the time and he disappeared. I assumed he went to bed and I went to go see other friends. It was 4:25 in the morning. I was laying on my back (on my bed) at the time, relaxing (and as the millennials say: ‘vibing’) in this meme based world with a friend.
Started getting messages on Discord. Due to my current position, it was a bit painful to pull up desktop mode in SteamVR and read this. They were from Wolfdog asking where I went. He also said his internet went out.
Thought that would be it, then I got messaged again. Using my phone this time and.. oh no. The group call with Frost was getting active again. Frost’s Twitter account has once again been suspended, and Frost (understandably) was losing his patience. I was all “do whatever you want to DJ, I really don’t care at this point” without actually saying it like that.
This was also around the time Wolfdog’s internet went back up and he joined me in the world, and I alerted him of the new info. He wanted to talk to Frost, and.. accidentally mentioned my name.
My mind when he told me:
“Great.. I’m dead now! They don’t know I’ve had help with this!!” I explained to him.
He apologized saying he was tired but feels Frost isn’t going to make a big deal about this.
…He better not.
A few minutes later, Frost starts messaging me. And surprisingly, he never brought it up. Thank goodness. Instead he shows a conversation between Mrs Pepper (one of Frost’s staff) and this ‘VRC blx’ causing chaos. Ohh wonderful, we now have a new player in this unending drama. And he immediately assumes it’s DJ, without doing any research on this person. I dunno what to say, only that I said to Wolfdog “I wish I could bury my head in the sand right now and not come up for air..”
He gives me a kiss and says “you have no idea how many times I felt this too”. I’m glad you understand me, Wolfdog. That means a lot. It’s only been a few days and I’m really seeing him as a great friend.
5am rolled by and we’re still talking about how we wish DJ would get over this. He heads to bed and so do I, but then I ‘make the mistake’ to ask Frost “someone needs to do research on this person”. He says “I already know who, I caught her bragging about it in her stream”.
Ohh DJ… why. WHY are you doing this?! He shows me another image. I check it out and noticed this person mentioning a name Wolfdog told me. …Uhh, this is one of HIS friends! I thought he told me he told this person to let all of this go! Then why is he harassing Frost’s staff?!
Freaking out I send this to Wolfdog, hoping he can get to the bottom of this.
–
Wake up at 10:30 in the morning. Only one message on my phone. Surprising given what’s been going on. It was from Wolfdog saying he did tell this person.
I try to go back to sleep, but I keep thinking about what Frost sent me. I decide to go on a calm yet serious way and say “thank you for sending me this information” to try and clear my mind.
12pm, no more messages. When I look back, I wonder why I was stuck in ‘panic mode’. This doesn’t even concern me, so why am I freaking the fuck out?! …Because of what I’ve been through. I’m not in a good mental state.
Infact I stopped with the stupid panic mode and try to think about what happened here. Wolfdog has no idea, yet he isn’t even telling me he’ll look into it. He does call me unexpectingly, so I get my headphones on and we talk.
He is trying to figure this out, but having a hard time with the timestamps– not knowing what timezone they’re in. Knowing Frost is the only one that could answer it.. I’m forced to face my demons and ask. And the very reason why I don’t like doing this is realized when he starts feeling I’m trying to justify DJ’s actions.
The hell. No, I’m not. I’m honestly on your side this time (as I feel joining him is ‘safe’). Yet he sees my words as contradictory. And so I explain “Look, I originally did defend DJ. But when she’s not listening to me anymore, I really don’t care what happens to her. Yet I’m still being pulled into this mess.”
He tries to explain he will not hesitate to take away everything she has if she doesn’t stop. To further prove my point I said “she deserves it”.
Later that day I’m talking to Wolfdog, and we decide to do something to get our minds off of this for a bit—play some Phasmophobia. Within the 3rd round, he tells me DJ wants to talk to him and goes to do so. Now I’m being pulled into this call.
Nothing from DJ, no thank you for the utter hell I went through to defend her. Kept quiet unless I had to speak. And now 6pm is here to ruin things further.
–
Kovo’s now messaging me on Steam, saying he knows I’m in a private chat with DJ and starts acting like “you need to get her to stop soon, as I hear her time is running
out”.
Tell Wolfdog, but he didn’t seem to really care about this escalating situation. Felt very odd. And as I’m talking to Kovo trying to explain once again that I don’t really care what happens to her, I get a random friend request from a ‘BraydenMist’. ..Wait, this is the person Wolfdog mentioned! But why are they trying to talk to me? The person tries to assure me DJ’s innocence. Um…you’re a bit late telling me that, pal.
I explain this and also how she won’t let this go. He says “she just needs good friends and help from her friends”… dude I know, but you don’t realize the hell I’ve been through (to where I wish once again was never in that damn world when she showed up)!!
Plus he says that she saw me “as an epic and cool friend”. Not right now she doesn’t, I can tell you that!
The conversation continued, with him acting like he was saying “I got ya fam!” in finally stopping this madness. If I’m right, that’s the best news I’ve heard come out from all of this.
EDIT: …It’s over. This three day long hellish rollercoaster is over. The how will be talked about in detail later on. All I can say is, I “finished what I started”. But what I can say now is, …I thought my keyboard was dead as I accidentally spilled water on it. See, was in this quite awkward group call with Wolfdog and some of his friends. Why was it awkward? Everyone was using their webcam. Since I don’t have one (nor do I even want one as my mother is very much against me showing my face to ‘strangers on the internet’), I felt quite out of place.
But the conversation had nothing to do with DJ at all. It was watching a single guy on a road trip.. an 18-hour road trip (according to Wolfdog). That’s nuts.
Was eating infront of my computer, just incase I was mentioned by name. One time I reached for my mouse…. aaaannnddd my water bottle was in the way! Tipped over, its contents going all. over. my keyboard. Did my best to dry everything off and thankfully at the time it seemed that I got away with this.
An hour or two later.. the keyboard starts malfunctioning by pressing specific keys causes another key to show up. Aka if I hit the ‘i’ key, ‘ei’ would be printed out on the screen.
More keys started to follow suit, such as the ‘m’ key printing out ‘m8’. I tried doing a cold boot (turning my computer completely off), didn’t fix it. Tried unplugging and re-plugging the keyboard, didn’t fix it.
So I tried the ‘old-fashioned way’.. beat the shit out of it. And it, only made things worse. Assumed the keyboard was dead, so I placed an order for another cheap ass one and tried to type — or should I say text — the rest of this post using my phone until Sunday came and I could throw out this (obvious to me) dead keyboard.
–
Yet somehow, either by the hand of God or some other spiritual power.. the keyboard came back to life a few hours later. A half an hour after that, the malfunctioning stopped too.
My only true logical guess, is the keyboard simply needed time to fully dry up. There was likely water still inside that was fucking with things. And when that water finally evaporated, the keyboard sprung back to life. Yet I had assumed it was going to be a
short ‘hoorah’ before it finally decides to say ‘I commit die’ by the next day.
“AS YOU CAN SEE, YOU ARE NOT DEAD!” –St. Berns, Half: Life Opposing Force
So yeah. Do I “thank God” or.. though it’s stupid and knowing him, the spirit of my father. But I believe it’s from the keyboard just needing a long time to dry off.
I’m not canceling the order though. Just incase this thing does decide to die (or malfunction again), I’ll have it as a backup.
Other than all of that fun personal hell, the rest of the day was thankfully uneventful in terms of dealing with DJ. I’ve learned a bit more about Wolfdog. And, I feel kind of split 50/50. He doesn’t know who I really am, but I am really starting to feel feelings toward him. On the other hand I don’t, as he’s not asking about me. I can only assume he feels he doesn’t really need to ask, but honestly.. he really should. Because again, I’m looking for someone who can tolerate myself IRL.
But we’ll just see how this goes. All I’m going to say is I have a pretty big crush on him. He’s funny, sweet, and charming. And he actually speaks English quite well. So I’m not dealing with a European for once. No offense to any Europeans out there reading this part of the post. You guys are awesome. Stay awesome. 🙂
–
Finishing this post on my phone (it takes awhile with these fat fingers and myself having never grown accustomed to texting), I hop on VRChat as Wolfdog’s all “you wanna have some fun later on?”. Ohh? What kind of ‘fun’ are we talking, huh? 😉
It was more on the lines of hanging with more of his friends. And there was one time where it’s getting quite.. bad. This is the second time I’ve heard this, but
apparently the Unity 2019 update is… coming a LOT sooner than I thought. Oh fuck. Yet they were all welcoming this change, saying “this will be the best thing coming for VRChat”.
I chirped in with “what they don’t tell you is they’re phasing out 2.0! A lot of content creators are unable to update due to the way their worlds are built!” and one was all “well that’s a ‘they’ problem!”, stating how you’ll still be able to have your 2.0 worlds and avatars for now, but they do want people to move to 3.0.
I said “then I guess everyone moves to ChilloutVR then”, one says “CVR is dying already”.
Mmm. Who knows. Moments later Wolfdog said he was going to pull me into a private world.
I joined, not completely sure what was going on. Then he started talking about the announcement Valve made about their Switch-like console called the ‘Steam Deck’. It sounds really cool but I’m not listening to all of the hype until I hear it’s legitimate of how awesome Wolfdog claims it is. Because, you know, I’ve learned when it comes to hype.
After that, he wanted to show me a bunch of videos of old shows he watched when he was a kid and asking if I remember them, as I’m 5 years older than him.
And holy fuck was there one that brought back childhood memories, of a thing
called ‘Mathman’– a PacMan-like thing where instead of pellets the Mathman had to find numbers that divided by 3. And the tornado that popped up, just.. oml the memories that flooded back. ..Felt as if the child in me was dancing. It felt so good to see these old shows again, ones I thought I’ve forgotten over the years.
–
He then talked about having a pretty damn cool job as a ride attendant at the Hershey fairgrounds (in Hershey, PA), showing me the rides he was controlling and sharing the really cool stories of them. He really loved working there. That’s really cool, dude. Really cool. 🙂
Kovo came on and wanted to join me, to check up on how I’m doing. I introduced him to Wolfdog, explaining “this guy kept my sanity in check”. We all talked about the whole DJ situation, and Kovo’s all “I really fear for her personally. Because I know people in my server.. that could’ve done some really bad things to her. I’ve been trying to protect her as much as I could” then turns to me and says “this is what I meant before, Benie. How I said she’s running out of time”
I nodded, thanking him for clarifying that. Explained that myself and Wolfdog have been trying what we can to help her. Wolfdog mentioned what she said to him about how she’s done with Twitch streaming over the fact she only got one person in her stream and with only 200 or something subscribers. “She talked about all the hate she had for Frost and Byteee, and she wonders why she only had one person watching. That’s an absolute no-no”.
Reminded me of when I watched her stream before this whole mess blew up, and she kept singing about people that pissed her off. …I never once thought about telling her to
stop, so I kind of wanted to stay out of that conversation. Oy.
Then the discussion goes to me, when I tell Kovo “I don’t know if you know, but I also left your server some time ago”. I was quite surprised he didn’t know, but given what he told us, it really shouldn’t come as a surprise as he’s been quite busy dealing with things he really doesn’t want to. He asked “I guess you’re going to stay away forever, or are you waiting for this whole thing to die down?” I wasn’t sure, and explained the main reason why I left was from what he told me of inviting people with a bad history, and I didn’t want to be a part of a server that felt this.
He said “I see, but listen.. I too should had been taking attention to these people. I should had put my foot down, remembering their past history. So you’re fine Benie.” I’m.. fine. Kovo you, you don’t know how long I’ve been waiting to hear those words. As I feared everyone turned their backs on me for defending DJ, including yourself. That I thought I lost all my friends.
Good to know Kovo’s still my friend, even after this. But as for coming back, I still wasn’t fully sure. But I would let him know.
Then Kovo started being himself, asking if we’re a thing after Wolfdog said I was watching his webcam. I quickly said “we’re just friends. Just friends”. Wolfdog said “friends with benefits” and the two really made me blush and and got so fucking flustered. Especially when Wolfdog said ‘we’re both doms”, Kovo’s all “ohhhh, I guess you two need to have a sword fight–” OH MY GOD, KOVO!!! I wanted to lay in my bed and shove my pillow into my ears. Kovo continues saying with “mmmm. Yeah, how Benie’s a bad dragon and how he’ll have to compete with a wolf and that knot!”
MAKE. IT. STOP!! Kovo’s laughing his head off and Wolfdog was chuckling to
himself, loving how flustered I was getting. But, it was all fun. As Wolfdog said it was good to finally laugh after all of this hell we went through.
Ohh Kovo, Kovo Kovo Kovo. Never change. Heheheh. Soon Kovo went to bed, and Wolfdog’s all “I already like him”. Heheh. Oh yeah. Kovo’s definitely one in a million.
–
We went back to watching old shows. About 45 or so minutes later, he says “oh no. Guess who wants to join me. ..You know who I’m talking about. I don’t even have to mention the name”. I slowly nodded, then thought to myself for the longest time as he kept talking about more rides he controlled there in Hershey, PA. All of this time I’ve been fearing my words would be used against me. And what does it do? ..It isn’t solving the problem. It’s only maintaining it.
..I’m done running. I’m done being scared about this. It’s time to finish, what I started. I will confront DJ, and it’s now or never.
I was sadly forced to interrupt Wolfdog and said “let her in. I want this to stop, and I will take care of it my way. No more running. No more fearing my words will be used against me. I’m sick of it.” He nodded and did so, and we went back to what he was talking about. This was all part of the plan.
DJ joined us as we kept talking. Turned around as I saw Wolfdog turn. Saw DJ behind us. I told myself “wait until the time is right, then pounce”. I also noticed the time: nearly 5am. Oh geeze, going to be another one of those all-nighters.
Heard DJ saying she was struggling to draw. I looked at her, curious. Said “I’m trying to draw you”. I asked “me?” he said in a low tone “yes…”
Huh. Was this a way to apologize? Hmm. This could be interesting. Wolfdog and I continued talking as I hear DJ eventually giving up, getting tired of drawing. Then at a time.. she disappeared. According to emmVRC, he’s still in the world. I could only assume bad things of her possibly using an invisible avatar. We started searching the world as I scanned around for any invisible avatars. I decided to eventually call out to her, now getting concerned she might be upset we’re not including her in our conversation.
Then I see JoinNotifier inform me she has left the instance. Hmm. Suspicious.
Wolfdog on the other hand is assuming she simply crashed and it took this long for the game to realize it. And sure enough, this is true. Huh. Well that’s comforting to know.
DJ re-joins us. I go over to her and she… refriends me saying “I dunno if you care but here”.
This is really feeling promising that this thing just might be over soon. I say “I do care. I’m glad you no longer hate me”. She says she can’t hear me over her mic and leaves. I quickly come over to Wolfdog and say “she refriended me. DJ just refriended me!”
Wolfdog is happy with this, hoping for the same thing I am. DJ comes back and I come back over to her. And this is when I finally open up to her about this whole situation. She says “I never hated you..? I just hate this damn mic.”
I explained what I’ve been though to protect her, and yes.. yes it’s wrong to even ask for gratification from this (especially how she almost killed herself from it) but I finally explain it the way I need to.
She said how she had someone who was about ready to go after Frost, but she told
them “don’t bother”, and she managed to stop them just intime. I explained “thank FUCK you did!! Because.. you would had regretted it.” She was surprised by my words. Trust me DJ.. oof. She says “they did it because they felt bad for me. They would only do it if they absolutely had to. But I told them not to.”
That was all the proof right there, this is over. I even asked her “this is over right?” She said “mhm”. ..Thank god, for your sake. I then asked Wolfdog if he had anything to
add, feeling I’ve redeemed myself for ‘failing’ to protect her.
Wolf did speak his mind, repeating what I explained and also trying to get into her head about the whole Twitch stream thing, that she needs to stop doing that if she wants more people to watch it.
We can only hope and pray this got through to her. I decided to take over for a bit asking if she’s considering of buying the unlocked account and moving to ChilloutVR now with this finally over with. She’s unsure now, but I think she mentioned something about just sticking to consoles. I said “if you feel that’s the best way to help, by all
means”.
Overall, we’re just trying to ram this very important thought into her head that if something like this happens again, she might not have anyone who wants to help her. Hope it sticks.
–
It’s now nearly 6am for me when Wolfdog says it’s quite late and he needs to sleep. I
say “yeah.. me too”. DJ leaves after. Wolf and I spend a few more minutes together talking to eachother about this whole ordeal and myself just glad it’s finally over.
We give eachother a goodnight kiss and head off.
.
And that’s it. I pray this is the last time I have to speak about this, and the next post will be a positive one (for a change).
And god, what a long ass post I’ve made!! Likely one of the longest. It’s so long it takes awhile for WordPress to save all the drafts I’ve done of it. But again, glad it’s over. So glad it’s over. Now I can come into VRChat and just deal with personal drama instead of drama caused by someone else.
