Benie's General Blog

Pretty active Saturday. Lots to talk about.
An honorable mention before I start: Firey talked to me yesterday and we talked a bit. He asked me if I still play VRChat and I said yes, and said he “may come on and say hi” to me. That would be awesome, as it’s been over a year since I’ve seen him ingame.
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Not making it awkward
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Normal Saturday ‘morning'(noon); waking up, getting breakfast down my throat, and checking up on Blender to see how he slept. This time he told me it was “pretty decent”. Had me a bit worried he didn’t sleep as good as he needed to.
Also yesterday, I tried out the Spectrum TV app and I must say, it’s quite cool watching TV on my phone. Technology sure has evolved, hasn’t it? Now you can stream your TV shows right to your phone. If only DirecTV and/or DISH had this, where if we had severe weather I could had watched it on my phone when we lost signal.
–
Anyway, back to the topic at hand. MIBIT messages me as I’m working on the recent blog post, saying he’s just going to wait the 6 months to “not make it awkward” for me. I didn’t know how to answer it, but later on I said “yes. I can’t do that to Blender. However I wouldn’t mind this just staying as ‘friends with benefits'” and he said “ok no problem”… I found that very hard to believe.
I sense jealousy. Hmmm.
But I continued with the rest of my day. Went to Waffle House with my mother, forgetting to bring my phone (thankfully I didn’t need it) and went back to work on said blog post when I got back, watching Spectrum TV on my phone at the same time (and sometimes becoming distracted by it).. and this is why I can never do what most people in Wurm do when it comes to skill grinding.
Got on VRChat a bit later than normal.
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Blender’s shy / “Hide me!” / BenieTheVampireDragon
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Since I saw the ability to save your FBT between avatars through emmVRC, I decided to try it instead of using IKTweaks. Reason being is I’m getting tired with seeing my legs and feet in the air when I’m using OVR’s playspace mover after awhile.
Little did I know this would cause more harm than good (and I’m not 100% sure if this is a bug with emmVRC), but I wasn’t aware until I got to a mirror.
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Went to go see Blender. Decided to have a little fun and go under the ground, to surprise him. But the world was being a douche and wouldn’t allow me to go under the walls… had to pass through the doors instead. And Blender wasn’t that impressed by it— as he had something on his mind. I tried listening what he was saying, but eventually asked him to follow me so we can talk about this better.
He kept saying he wanted to talk to an “orange black and white Avali” and the name “starts with an ‘S'”. I remember someone in the crowd that matches that description.. someone that I knew since the original Best Boi era; SpyrouR. I used to compliment his beautiful singing voice, and know how much he absolutely HATES it.
Anyway, Blender wants to talk to him but is too nervous. …Sadly I’m not someone that can help with this kind of situation. I’m no social butterfly. I’m a loner, which is what I explained to him. He also mentioned that Spy knows someone named ‘Jasper’. He wanted me to meet them but they were offline.
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Just then….. Raymond joins. I whisper to Blender that Raymond’s here and he’s probably looking for me, and I ask him to “hide me”. After a few questions on how to handle
this, Blender offers to help me out here by letting me know what Raymond’s doing.
I go back under the floor and wait patiently. A few minutes later I see Blender above
me, calling my name. I show up and he tells me he’s talking with others. Then he says
to “stay hidden just incase”, which I do.
This lasts for nearly 5 minutes until I see Raymond leave. I let out a sigh of relief but I don’t see Blender. I find him back with his friends, and make my way over. He does show up about 10-15 minutes later, and this time he was actively looking for me and eventually gave up after a second sweep.. not even realizing I was right below his feet. Heh.
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I turn on the mirror… and I’m not seeing myself. WHAT?! I can see everyone else but not myself! I asked them “can you guys see me? I can’t see myself.” They said “we can see you just fine”. ..WHA–?? How come I can’t see myself then?!?! I tried repeatably playing with the mirror settings, thinking there’s a button I didn’t click.. yet that just wouldn’t make sense to even need something like that.
I’m thinking either it’s an issue with the world, or an issue with emmVRC. So I tried asking in the emmVRC Discord if this is a known issue. ..Unfortunately this wasn’t the only issue I needed to solve.
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MIBIT’s Meltdown
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Noticed our server had a message. Went to go check. It was MIBIT asking us to “vote” on kicking him out, claiming “you are all in a relation ship” and “figuring out people are hating my ADHD”.
“benie did nothing wrong”, “it’s the fact people asking me about computer questions then not feel apart of the group”
And claiming he bought an avatar “to try to feel apart of the group”.
First off.. which ‘group’ is he talking to? We are not all in a relationship here. And since when have we bought our own avatars? I told him a number of times I edited mine through Blender (the program, not who I love. And with help).
..I was so confused what the hell he meant, but knew I needed to do something about it. So I tried telling him that noone’s going to vote to kick you. Why are you saying that?
Says he “gets to emotional with this server now cried half the day today can’t take it anymore”. At the time I assumed he was still talking about not being able to find love. But today after more careful reading of what he said in our server, I discovered he’s going through multiple things at the same time.
And it seems part of the blame might be on Sparky, for asking MIBIT a question if a 1TB stick of RAM exists. Apparently a simple question put him on edge– made him feel he’s being “used for information”.
I dunno how to help MIBIT this time. I tried to tell Blender about this incase he was wondering if I’m OK (ended up having to take him to my homeworld as I didn’t want others hearing me).
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C&#k Blocked & Learning More
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Since I didn’t know what to do with MIBIT, Blender wanted me to relax by having a little fun since we’re alone. But I didn’t feel like relaxing. I just felt bad for Blender of what I told him that night, and wanted him to know I’m not going to leave him. He was very happy to hear that and gave me a kiss, and said the same thing back to me.
He laid down on one of the beds and started snarling sexually. Wow. So this is a new side of Blender. Heh. Wanted to see how it sounded when we ERP’d. A quarter in, he stopped and then *poof*.. gone. God damnit VRChat, you just cock blocked me!
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I waited for an hour and he finally came back, said he had computer problems and talking about his little brother wanting money to buy more Robux. He can’t confront his brother with this even though it gets on his nerves (because he’s a pacifist and doesn’t believe getting back at someone solves anything). He also apologized for telling me all of
this. I looked at him closely and said “hun. Look at me. Come on. There you go. Now, I want to ask you something.” He asked “what’s that?” I said “please stop saying ‘sorry’ when you explain your life, ok? I want you to tell me this. I want to learn everything about you. Even the bad parts.”
He smiled and said “E!”, then licked me. Then he said “love you” and I said “love you too”.
Then I asked him if he wanted to go back to where we left off. He said “I would, but Orion wants to join”.
Fuckin’ hell.. now I’m getting cock blocked by Orion! Alright. Let’s see what he wants here. And all he wanted was to check up on Blender. That’s fair and all but.. that’s also why DMs exist. Though there was also another reason why he wanted to pop in.
He discovered more about Grok, including sending him a stern warning not to mess with Blender. Better not mess with me either. Then he said “Grok also got arrested for pedophilia”.
I looked at him.. wide-eyed, and asked him “are you.. serious?!” He said “yep! I did some deep searching and found this gem.”
My mind at that moment;

I had to look away, as I felt so blown away by this news. Orion knew exactly what was on my mind and Blender’s like “oh my”.
“BAHAHA!! That fucker deserves everything coming at him!” I said, pointing at Orion. Blender looked at us in worry. Orion agreed with me that Grok will pay.
Then Orion turned his attention to Blender, asking him if he had Grok fully blocked. Blender looked very stressed out over lying to us, and I defended him explaining the situation that happened a few days ago. Orion only wanted to make sure Grok wasn’t going to come after Blender.
Then I said my two cents of what Victon told Blender, about the whole blocking thing and how I can’t do that with Raymond and Brayden. He didn’t want to deal with that as he had just woken up. He changed the topic saying a few of Blender’s friends were online.
I joined Blender to see one of them, which brought me to this ‘Jasper’ person Blender wanted me to meet (who was AFK at the time). Blender and the friend talked while I stayed mostly silent. Did learn a bit more about him, that when he first joined he didn’t have a working mic (for a month). Huh.
—
Later on I asked Blender (after he yeeted himself using one of the grab-able chairs and nearly made him sick) what he wanted to do. Said he wanted to go see Lonewolf, and so we did.
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“Oh, what a night!”
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This brought be back to the world that I made my homeworld earlier. I liked the look and decided to do so. And now it’s being used as a mini Furality Luma. It was awesome. It had a band playing infront of the large TV screen. And they were playing music on the screen and some of the songs were my era.
One of them I decided to stand up and dance to, as I felt great. Another one where the ending had its lyrics speeding up, and up, and up where I was dancing like an absolute idiot trying to keep up. Felt great when the song was over. Sat back down on my bed and said “and I am done dancing”. Someone who saw me dance actually liked my dancing. Heh. Thanks.
Blender was busy talking to someone and didn’t see me. I said “you missed the best part. Me dancing like an idiot!” And all he said was “oh my”.
Overall, it was a great night. Even GyLala joined. Went over to him as I haven’t seen him in a long while. Blender joined me sometime later and says he’s seen GyLala before.
While that was going on, I saw something I didn’t particularly like seeing. It looked like as if someone had copied my avatar and was currently wearing it, yet the person I saw that had it.. wasn’t (and never did). Possibly a VRChat bug.
Then something else was going on with people saying Lonewolf is naked or something like that and a crowd of people were running after him.
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I got back to GyLala and Blender, and noticed Blender was stuck in a pose and eventually crashed. I waited patiently for him to come back. But when he did he joined another world. Very odd. Went to go see him.
Found him in.. a horror world?? And a horror world I once tripped into by accident. I thought Blender doesn’t like horror worlds, so this is very odd. Searched the world. I heard people talking but didn’t see anyone. What’s odd is you can disable the thunder, the rain and wind. Huh.. is this a horror world or one that got converted into a chill world?
Eventually I did find everyone, including Blender being shy as always trying to hide behind a doorway. Tried to snuggle him, and ended up scaring him by mistake.
What interesting people here. That’s all I can really say. Let’s just say I kind of felt I wasn’t fitting in and wanted to keep my distance but I tried to work with what I could.
So I’m just going to speed this up as this blog post is taking way too long to write…
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One pumped Cupcake
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So Friday joined, which I nearly immediately tried to lick to death (because it’s funny hearing his reaction).
Then Cupcake joined. Huh. Another friend I haven’t seen in a long time. And he.. he wasn’t happy. He kept yelling about “screw Amazon!!” for some reason. I didn’t want to ask what’s going on with him, but he asked me how I’m doing. Said I was alright, and he asked my opinion on him being a fighter. Yes, an actual boxing fighter. Told him I liked it and support him 100% (as it’s the right thing to say when you dunno what to say).
Plus he also kept saying “I’m the best! I’ll show those companies!” with Friday giving him full support.
My negative side would say..

You’re jinxing yourself saying you’re “the best”. I really hate it when I hear this. It’s a pet peeve of mine. It’s one thing to feel confident about yourself, and then there’s this. But I kept my opinions to myself.
Much later, he grabbed the attention of Blender who wanted to know why he was so pissed off over companies and stuff. At this time my back was starting to kill me, so I laid on my bed to help it out. Overheard Cupcake mention about his sister getting fired from her Amazon job just because she didn’t fill out the required paperwork saying she was fully COVID vaccinated. He wanted Blender to stop using Amazon because of it, and go to these companies who use Amazon to sell their product instead.
I had no comment on the matter. I’m completely neutral (and thankfully was never asked for it). All I’m going to say is I’m not going to stop using Amazon as I like the convenience when I need them, and that is my opinion.
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Blender in control
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It’s getting close to 2am. I was ‘infront’ of the mirror (really wish I could fucking SEE myself!!) kind of in and out falling asleep as I felt really comfortable on my bed. Another reason is Blender was busy socializing. And me being a loner.. yeah, I’m better off when I don’t need to socialize (especially with people I don’t know).
Orion joins. I immediately know why he did.. to force Blender to bed and “pull him away from me”. Didn’t like this. And that is exactly what was going on. Blender kept on
saying “OK, E!” but never logging off. Then he comes up to me and asks if I fell asleep.
Tell him no and I ‘got up off the floor’ (using playspace mover) and kissed him. He goes back to socializing, and Orion has nothing else to say. One time I really had to give my opinion to him, and said “In my opinion I feel Blender has the right to go to bed when he wants to.”
Orion reminded me Blender complained before about not getting enough sleep. But look at him. He’s not ‘dead’. He’s wide awake! “I still don’t feel this is good idea for him” he said. Mmm. Maybe. I’ll remind Blender later on.
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Orion leaves, and I noticed Blender’s no longer in the room. I respawn and immediately hear the word “Grok”. I’m thinking “ohh no…”, but it sounded as if Blender has this under control. Still, I did my best to listen in on the conversation, just incase if I needed to intervene. The unknown person talking to Blender said he’s one of Grok’s moderators, and wishes Blender had told Grok why he blocked him(Grok). However he seems compassionate enough that I lower my guard.
I also hear that Shining is “distancing himself from Grok”…

It’s that bad, huh? ..GOOD! 😀 And then Blender asked a very.. interesting question. He’s relating to the past relationship with me and Wolfdog (as if he knew I was listening
in), and asks the unknown person “If I got a boyfriend and he’s not part of the pack, would he be forced to join it?”
The person said “no. That was the pack in the past. The new pack, they understand now. That was always the intention of the pack. A couple can come and go as they please.” ..Huh. So, did I actually spearhead this change to the pack? It seems so. This.. I can’t say this is “good”… as honestly it SHOULD had been a thing before when I joined via Wolfdog.
The person also said “I also have a boyfriend. But it’s because of all the things I did for Grok.”

Yeah, like (literally) suck his dick on a regular basis?! ..Disgusting. And I love how the person didn’t specify if it was an open or a closed relationship (if I was to assume, likely open as that’s what most people default on at this day and age, according to Jellyosaurus).
As I’m listening, I’m hearing Cupcake looking for me. He came very close to compromising my hiding spot (so I could listen) but gave up and logged out. Phew. That was close.
The two eventually stop talking about it and go back into the main room. I follow them but get myself stuck by accident. Respawned and readjusted my playspace, and no longer got stuck (while still laying on my bed by the way).
Another friend of mine is here, with their BF. One time I hear them saying to
eachother “you’re cute no YOU’RE cute!” I float over to them and say “you’re BOTH
cute!” and go back over to Blender. lol
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Blender and Grok’s moderator watch Blender’s videos. I’m not seeing anything on the screen but I don’t say anything. Then the two lovebirds are talking again. I go to smack the one that says they’re not cute. Blender comes over and ‘tries to help’ by hyperlicking the person who claims they’re not cute, and eventually wins. Then my friend leaves.
I’m still laying down, and this person decides to use me as a ‘comfy pillow’. I can’t remember what led up to where but Blender is fingering this guy’s ass.. while he’s still laying on my stomach.
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My first ‘threesome’
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Oh. my. goodness of what I just saw. So Blender is now humping this guy while they’re still laying on me. Uhhh… I dunno how I feel about this. But holy fuck is this hot.

That was literally going through my brain, even the guy in the picture’s expression. Hahaha..
Blender manages to empty himself into this guy’s mouth. This… this…. this is
definitely, something I’m not going, to forget.. for a long time. So I was used as
a ‘bed’ where these two can fuck. *chuckles*.. I just dunno what to say!! HAHAHA…
Just…. WOW. Heh. The person leaves and I say “I’m glad you got your kicks there, hun.” He said how he wishes we did it. Yeah, but I’m not doing threesomes.
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He later gets his wish back in my homeworld, and this time.. he didn’t crash. 🙂 It was nearly 6 in the morning at the time. Yeah.. Blender, you should really get to bed. And I did remind him what Orion told me. He understands, but fell asleep with my dick still in him. Had to wake him up for him to get to bed normally, and he did. Then so did I.

.
Wow, what a day. I didn’t expect this blog post to take so long. Then again I was procrastinating a lot.

What. a. day. That’s all I can say about yesterday.
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The Good, the Bad, and the OOF in SoT
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Woke up at my usual time, ate breakfast, and then asked Blender if I “missed the stream”. He was very confused, so I tried explaining it to a form he’ll understand where he said that no Orion hasn’t messaged him yet to play SoT. Good! I didn’t miss it afterall! ..And Orion told me to go to bed early. Pfft. I know how to convert world time, and 2pm is when he starts it. So, I’m pretty set. 🙂
He wanted to call me. I was confused at first but I thought “oh wait, the video he wanted me to see about what happened” and accepted his request. Instead it was something else. He was explaining the work he’s been doing to the ‘road stage’ of the CEC Experience. Was quite cool, and I was telling him what a really awesome singer he is.
1:30pm came and he’s telling me Orion is now telling him to ‘get ready to set sail’, but he stays in the call until 1:40 when I feel like “we really should be getting in the call now”.
I followed him into the call. Saw a few people I didn’t know and some I somewhat remember. Orion told me the 4th person had to drop out early over something that came up. It’s like someone was listening to my wish and granted it, and now I can take the
spot. 🙂 Nice! 100% commendation on Chapter 5 here I come! 😁
Orion started using the music bot on their server, playing pirate-related music. We were waiting for Shaw to join us.
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The time went past 2pm. It was nearly 2:30 when Shaw finally showed up. Good thing too. Orion was almost about to cancel it.
We got ingame, and it was like my mother was taking this as the absolute perfect time to bother the fuck out of me. I had to go AFK several times because she needed something. Fuck! And when I came back, it’s like Orion had no remorse for me. Sorry but my mother is being absolutely annoying right now, with her yanking me off my computer every chance she can get.
We got past Chapter 4 with only one issue of Shaw crashing for no reason before we were wrapping up the multi. And when he came back and used the statue to return to us, he was placed after the ship and nearly died. I stayed with Blender as he went AFK, then helped him find the next journal.
Nothing else major happened apart from me somehow had accidentally turned my push to talk on and the game wouldn’t let me turn it back off (even when I rebound the key to something else). Ended up muting the transmit volume and that fixed it. They seriously need to add a thing letting you know you’re transmitting your voice.
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We got back to an outpost. And again my mother pulled me away from my computer. I swear she’s doing this delibertly, not understanding this is a game that requires teamwork.
Getting up for Chapter 5, we’re all warning Blender what to expect with this one and I tell them what I need to do to achieve 100% commendation. Shaw feels confident we can do this in one go.
We get there, start sinking Ghost ships and I see I have 10/20.. and we’re heading to the spire. I tell Shaw I still need 10 more to complete the commendation, and he claims it’s impossible to get them as the AI ships would sink them before we have a chance (and Blender agreed with this). Plus he said his mouse controls were freezing up and he might crash. ..Alright, alright. Just telling you, I’m not going to get 100% at this rate. I know this fight. Didn’t say this to them (for very obvious reasons), but felt it. Mmm. Seems like it’ll take more than one go to 100% complete it, and I discovered the AI can help you with this task, which would make it easier to do.
In the Spire, Shaw hadn’t gotten 100% here on the journals; missing 3/5. I’m thankful for that video I followed which helped me to locate them all. Was able to help him and Blender get them all. Then it was time for the final battle against the Flying Dutchman. Unfortunately Blender didn’t fully understand the mechanics, even though I said the AI ships go clockwise around the spire and the Dutchman goes counter-clockwise and I assumed he understood this. I couldn’t focus on the ship as I was busy trying to keep ours alive.
…And then my mother wanted me again, as our GrubHub order came 30 minutes earlier than it should had. UGH!! Came back 5 minutes later and Orion again wasn’t happy with me. Sorry that my mother is picking the worst fucking times to need me. I’m not intentionally trying to leave. I never planned this. Shit happens.
Blender and Orion manage to sink the Dutchman no problem, while Shaw and Orion are loading up on Crates of the Damned. Shaw tells me you can sell these, which definitely has my interest.
We get to the reward and I’m able to get 100% commendation by grabbing all the journals here. So, the only thing I didn’t complete was sinking the 20 ghost ships to get all commendations of A Pirate’s Life (100%ing the entire campaign). Didn’t check if my progress had been reset yet again. I’d feel very unhappy if it did.
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So after we leave the reward and head back, we’re celebrating a good victory.. when all the sudden an emergent skeleton ship shows up– a Galleon. It’s like the game’s saying “Haha fuck you now die!” A quarter into the battle, a fucking Megalodon shows up! So now we have a skeleton ship AND a Megalodon attacking us. What fun! And the fucker kept knocking us off. They managed to sink the skele ship but we still had the Megalodon to deal with. I managed to get one shot into it a split second before nearly dying. And the second time I was unloading the damn cannonball instead of firing. OML, what a rookie mistake. And I got yelled at because of that mistake.
Eventually Shaw had enough and told us to just get the fuck away. Soon as we got back on the grid, the Megalodon left us alone.
I noticed the time.. it was past 6 and I really needed to eat dinner. But I was too busy helping them to do so. I never told them I had to go eat.
We got to an outpost, but we were on the wrong side. Orion using a harpoon, we made it to the correct side. I spotted some debris near the outpost with one being a powder keg. I mentioned this to them, and Shaw said you can sell it. I didn’t know this, and he
asked me “Kovo never told you this?” I said “no”. He said “then he’s an idiot”. Mmm.
So he shows me proof while I grab one of the ghost chests and attempt to meet him halfway. He claims they can be sold at the merchant (the one you buy supplies
from).
Wasn’t possible. Orion tried too and also couldn’t sell it. Shaw looked it up and saw he made a mistake and there’s another kind of ghost chest that can be sold. Then he had this idea to make the letter ‘F’ with the crates.
…And that’s when things went really bad for me (IRL). Let’s say she wasn’t happy I wasn’t eating at 6, and I had to leave the game. Later I did my best to explain that I can’t leave a game like that, and she still didn’t understand. But now knows she can’t ‘force’ me to eat. I kept telling her “so what if I eat an hour later? It’s no big deal! I’m still eating!” But it’s like she wasn’t grasping my words and only hearing things she wanted to hear instead of the full thing. And she wonders why I got pissed at her…
Not only did you constantly interrupt me and pull me away at very critical times that I needed to be there for my friends, but you give me this shit. And she didn’t feel any remorse for me, only asking “why can’t you have friends that tell you to eat?”

So yeah. Having a free spot to play SoT came with a hefty pricetag when RL knocks. *sighs*
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A talk with MIBIT (with an unexpected outcome)
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As I was almost done eating, MIBIT had DM’d me saying “im on”. I remembered he wanted to tell me why he was ‘sad and alone’. I needed to get groceries first and got an order placed for them.
Came on around 10pm, telling Blender I was going to go see MIBIT. He was in the world that has been known to crash me. However Sparky one time told me that they updated the world, so it shouldn’t and I decided to give it a fighting chance (for MIBIT). When I joined I found him and Friday talking. Friday said he was going to go to bed, and I had some fun licking the everliving fun out of him (as I know how much it annoys him).
He left and I was able to talk to MIBIT in private, just as I wanted to before. And what he meant by his status of ‘sad and alone’ wasn’t because we broke up, but because he wants to join a RL social group. I understood his pain, wishing I could form my own group and move away from Kovo’s group.
Then he asked me “so what do you wanna do?” I asked him “what do you wanna do?” He said “just chill”. I was OK with this.
–
Sometime later, he asked me “so now that I know my work schedule, do you want to try dating again?”

I was beyond shocked. Do…do you not remember I CHEATED on you?! You should be pissed at me and never wanting to speak to me again! And you’re asking this?? You clearly do not understand how breakups work. Either that or he really missed me and wanted to try again. I never really asked him “why”, only that “I’ll think about it” and assumed it would end there, and then I’d tell him today in DMs that he really should move on and find someone else.
I mean when it came to the 6 months of feeling like I lost Jero ‘forever’, I was never this direct. I never asked “do you want to get back together”. I wanted to move on. MIBIT doesn’t want to. Almost like a glutton for punishment. Plus he tells me how he’s been trying to improve himself since the breakup, taking what I said about his ADHD and doing his best to relax.
So I said “I … guess we could start as friends with benefits and see how it works out”.. but still remembering about Blender. I did eventually tell him, because I felt it was very important to do so but I didn’t want to break his heart. He said he didn’t mind, and
said “I’ll just wait the 6 months” (said this twice, expecting a reaction out of me and I didn’t know how to react). And he said “just let me know if you two make it official”. I said I will.
I’m really regretting this. Half of me feels MIBIT is ‘hoping’ that it doesn’t work out
for Blender and I (so he can ‘swoop in’), but the other half completely disagrees and knows he would not do this. MIBIT is not that kind of person, to do something like that.
…Still though, I can’t do this to Blender. Doesn’t feel right. But I dunno what to do. I want to help everyone, but as Kovo told me.. I gotta set limits. So I might need to tell MIBIT today that it needs to stay as ‘friends with benefits’, and I’ll put him as a “I’ll think about
it” if it doesn’t work out with Blender and I.
–
I decide to invite Blender into the world. I wanted to talk to him in private about this but I never had a chance.
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Blender’s near meltdown (he lied to me and Orion)
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We had a few others joining, and even Kovo joined. We were all talking about our own things.
Time passed and once again I was letting Blender lick Kovo’s feet. So funny. Blender couldn’t help himself and was laughing so hard. …Then all the sudden he got on the floor and said “I’m sorry but I’m having a mini panic attack”. Quickly ran over to him and tried to comfort him. I assumed he laughed so hard that his brain crashed on him, but he said that’s not exactly what happened.
Said he got a message from Grok. ..I was quite confused and asked him “I thought we told you to block him in VRChat”. He did, but not in Discord. So I told him to do so, but he needed to calm down first.
I was forced to tell them the story that I can remember Blender telling me (mainly the part where Grok hurt him).
VictonRoy was with me (so was MIBIT) and he started asking Blender some things to help him “grasp reality”, such as what he’s seeing right now, what he can feel, what he can taste. And overall saying that Grok “has no power over you”. That this thing Grok has is only a mind trick– he has no true ability to heal and hurt people. It’s all manipulation. Not to mention Victon also calmed me down when I told him how pissed I was after seeing what Grok did to Blender, saying “this can be solved without violence”.
My negative side disagrees, but my common sense agrees (and my common sense won this round).
My calming, compassionate voice and Victon’s self-controlling questions eventually did help to calm Blender down. Then Blender wanted to explain the whole situation with Grok himself, that this ‘unnatural aura’ is something from Japan that Grok acquired. He said a lot more things, even one that had to do with Wolfdog wanting to also get back into the pack and this talk he overheard others saying about Grok wanting to “keep” him for himself.

Blender belongs to noone but himself, and that’s what Victon wanted him to feel. That he’s in control and noone can hurt him.
So it’s time to remove Grok out of your life, Blender.

First he blocked him in VRChat… so you lied to me and Orion when you said you did. *sighs* I forgive him. He was scared. And then he blocked Grok in Discord. I wanted Blender to use the anger he felt for hurting him, but Victon feels the block button should be renamed ‘Freedom’. Still it was done and I asked him how he felt. He wasn’t sure how to feel and Victon again tried to help him to realize he said “you’re not going to do shit to me. I am more powerful than you”.
He also told him I found highly controversial (personally), saying people won’t do anything if you block them out of your life. *coughs*Brayden*coughs*.. and Raymond. That logic isn’t going to work for me, Victon. Sorry.
–
Finally Blender discussed how he wishes he could drive but his mother doesn’t trust him. And the reason.. is based on a video game. Victon was shocked, saying he “drives like a maniac” in games but is a safe driver IRL “as that’s my job”.
The talk encouraged me to give my two cents on the topic, but Victon eventually changed it back where he was talking to Blender. So he couldn’t really give me advice, and that’s fine. All he really said was finding a driving instructor, which is the same thing mother told me I’d have to do since she doesn’t have her license.

Then Jero joined unexpectedly. OH SHIT!! HEY! 😄 You’re still alive! Haven’t seen you on since my birthday.
We snuggled and cuddled and it felt great. Blender wanted something purple, so I used the bar and made a few drinks for them. I then decided to be a little ‘uwu’ and put milk in a glass mixed with red punch, and gave it to Jero. I said “this is a bartender special”. Leaned down and whispered in his ear “it’s totally not dragon cum”.
Jero was like “Oooh!” and drank it. Heheheheh. Glad to see you still remembered when we had fun. 😉
I made him a second glass later on and he said it was “cum-tastic”.

Ohh Jero. Heheh. You still have that thing that made me attracted to you.
==============================================================
A whole new world
==============================================================
Much later a portal is dropped by one of Blender’s friends, to a map that totally isn’t based off of Furality Luma (at least that’s what it claims).
But, it’s really beautiful. It has places for non-full body VR & Desktop people to lay down. A luminous pool with a real ‘kick’ to it, and just an overall relaxing feeling to it. It’s unlike most ‘chill’ and ‘sleep’ worlds I’ve seen so far, as it’s all outside and at night. Also the music is really calming to listen to.
It was me, Blender, Jero and Blender’s friend who was there. I wanted to cuddle with Jero some more (as we haven’t really cuddled in a long time). Jero didn’t know about the places you can lay down and he tried it out. I didn’t realize just how.. well this would work. So I laid down completely on my bed and he snuggled me a bit. Then I laid on my side, and we cuddled there.
As I did, Blender and his friend were running around the world and Blender’s all “I miss Furality Luma”. I kind of wanted to tell him what Melan told us when it came to
treating Dutchies like Best Boi’s (but didn’t). Then Blender’s friend came over to us and told us to take these drinks. Curious, I said “gimme one”.
Grabbed one and drunk it. (WARNING: Photosensitivity warning)

This is what it looked like– one hell of an acid trip that lasted for 10-15 seconds. Both myself and Jero were like “what the hell was that?!” Apparently there’s some weird writing that shows up after you drink it. Like, woah.
But I wasn’t really interested into that. I was more interested in Jero who he overheard Blender and his friend talking about something and he said “someone wants the uwu juice”.
==============================================================
‘Mission Failed: We’ll bang ’em next time!’
==============================================================
I look at Jero and say shyly “I can give you some uwu juice” with a smile, and he
says “oooh”. I was waiting for him to say something else, like going to a private world. In my mind I’m thinking “if I play my cards right, I might finally have some fun with him.”
Blender’s running around the world, looking for these secrets. One time it’s like he’s bored and Jero’s AFK, and I felt “it’s not fair if I don’t spend some time with Blender too” and asked for him to lay down. But for some reason, me laying down was somehow bugging the chairs. That and Blender said after I respawned, that I was “still here”. So I tried leaving and rejoining the world.
That fixed it thankfully. Then Blender came up to me saying he wanted to show Jero his work but felt nervous. I told him to “go on and do it”. Don’t be nervous, hun. 🙂
He finally did and Jero really liked his work, hopefully proving to himself once again he has nothing to worry about.
And then Jero needed to head out and was saying bye to everyone. He cuddled me for a bit and seemed like he was doing that thing again of not wanting to go to bed, and then left.
My virtual blue meat;

My lewd brain: Damnit!! 😅
Plus I forgot this is when he usually does head out anyway to prepare for work. But
still, damnit. 😛 Maybe another day.
==============================================================
Icing on the cake
==============================================================
Well, I still have Blender. We retired to my private world and he wanted to do it. And I also helped him out as well. It was past 4 and he was really getting tired, but myself still laying on my back I let him lay on me for a bit. I did this as both of us needed some chill time after one hell of a day for both of us.

==============================================================
Blender’s better, for now
==============================================================
After waking up and getting breakfast down me, I messaged Blender as I said I would and asked him if he got sleep. Said he did. He felt like someone was licking him and was able to fall asleep. He also thinks sleeping on a side he never did before helped but isn’t completely sure. I suggested he’d try that again and see if that helps.
==============================================================
jellysaurus thinking unrealistically
==============================================================
While this was going on, I was being DM’d by jellysaurus. Played along when at the same time I felt this was a mistake as I’m sending messages I don’t want to. I know he’s in
an open relationship and remember him being all “it’s no surprise most everyone is”. So you’d call me weird if I was to say I prefer a closed relationship? You really are a
whore, aren’t you? Yes, yes he is. He’s another Fluffy.
I still remember him asking me the day before; “You like naughty boys?”, and not knowing how to respond to this. Though my actual (yet confusing for him) answer would had been;

I have certain limits I will tolerate for ‘naughty boys’ before it becomes too much.
Fluffy.. well, he tends to forget but he’s starting to get it in his head.
Going back to the topic at hand, jelly kept saying “I want your <RETRACTED> in me”. Can we, you know, not talk about this until after I get my blog post done? What I wanted to say but again, I kept playing along. So I ERP’d with him in Discord. Was pretty good.
Then he wanted to show his IRL rear to me.. I hesitated for a long time. Dude I barely know you, but hoped by saying “sure I guess” this wasn’t going to come back in a really bad way on me. Thankfully he didn’t give me a closeup shot of it.. 😬
Plus he was envisioning doing it with him IRL. ..You are really making me feel very uncomfortable right now. I want to get off this ride! Hit the brakes!
==============================================================
“Hey, MIBIT.”
==============================================================
Came on around 10-11pm’ish. Blender wasn’t on. “Heh. I finally come on ‘early’ and he’s not here. Wow” I say to myself, then I had the thought of just messaging him to let him know and he’ll be on in a few minutes. He said “E!” but that was it.
Checking my friends list, I saw MIBIT was on and joinable. ..I also saw his status and sighed heavily: ‘sad and alone’.. dude, why are you trying to guilt trip me more? I joined anyway.
There was Sparky and some random person who both ran over to me after I arrived in the world. I wanted to speak to MIBIT in private, but I doubt they’ll allow me. Plus I don’t think he even wants to bring that back up. The two kept talking to me. The random checked my Bio and freaked out over my age, then we hear MIBIT commenting about it. I wasn’t completely sure what he said but Sparky said he said “45!”
The two ran back over to MIBIT. I stayed there, looking at him through the corner of my eye, wondering if he’ll even notice me. They ran back over to me. I waited until they were locked in a conversation, then slowly walked over to MIBIT. He asks me “what?” when I finally get over to him. I said “I’m just checking up on you. It’s been awhile”. “I’m ok” he says. I wanted to say “no, you’re not ‘ok'” but again I didn’t want to make matters
worse. Nor did I want Sparky and this random guy hearing us.
So I extended my hand to pet him, to show I’m sorry for what happened. He never once responded to it. Just then the two came back over, and I kept quiet for the remainder that I was there. MIBIT changed the subject to talking about working on his avatar. Never did he come over and want to be snuggled by me. ..Wow dude, you’re taking this a lot harder than it needs to be.
…..And then Raymond shows up.

I’m literally doing this, trying to stay hidden so he won’t see me. He sometimes went over me then went semi-AFK, giving me time to move to the other side of the group. It was starting to annoy me, so I checked my friends lists and saw Grey was on.. in a very familiar world. When Raymond was staring right at me, I used this to get out of the world.
==============================================================
Reconciling with Grey
==============================================================
Arriving in Grey’s homeworld, he was alone listening to something. I cleared my throat to get his attention, not wanting to move from the spawn point until feeling comfortable enough to do so. He welcomed me, asking me if I remember this place. I said “I remember it as if it was yesterday”. Can’t remember what we said afterwords but it was random stuff. Though I did say “just to let you know, Raymond might be coming here.” He said “alright, I don’t have any beef with him”. Hmm.
Checked VRCX and noticed MIBIT went to a private world shortly after I left. Either he left because I did or left because Raymond was annoying the fuck out of him, and Raymond went somewhere else. Hours passed and I asked Blender if he wasn’t thinking of getting on tonight. He said “I’ll be there soon!” ..more time passed and no Blender, but others did join…. including Raymond. I played it cool.
Blender did eventually join. Told me he was sorry for not coming on when he said he would as he was doing rendering work for another episode of his CEC work.
A few minutes later, Kovo also joined. I said “perfect timing” (as a joke since Blender was licking me and I was laying up on my bed with my legs spread out). But I explained everything was alright, and asked him what brought him here. He said how he was “done with the week” (aka done everything he needed to do in Destiny 2) and had nothing else to do. Fair enough.
Went back to Blender and asked him to hyperlick Kovo, and he went to go do so. And then Kovo made a ‘fatal error’ by saying “you know he can pick my feet up and lick them”.. so that’s exactly what I did and he started licking them, Kovo unable to move! HAHAHA..
Ohh Kovo, you idiot.. you shouldn’t had said that!
–
Next thing I know, Kovo’s talking to someone and Blender lifts his right foot up and starts licking it. He reacts to this saying…

(Not in that way, but you know what I mean)
I said “Hang on Blender, let me help” and grabbed Kovo’s left foot, then said “Here you go Blender, now you can lick both of them!”
Watching Kovo helpless while Blender happily licks his feet be like..

I hear Kovo say “I hate you” to me. Hahahaha. Your own fault for saying that to Blender.
Meanwhile, Grey seemed he wanted to get a bit frisky with me, and even opened up a portal behind me for us to enter.
==============================================================
Why Grey tolerates Raymond
==============================================================
Entered the world, Grey spawned in behind me. So, this is your way you wish to reconcile? I’ll accept it. 🙂
…..Raymond joins. Uhhh. Grey, I don’t like this! He watches us doing it. I wanted to say something but I didn’t want to offend either of them. This soon hit a point I couldn’t help but say “why do we need someone watching us?!” Raymond says “why not?”

Because I don’t feel comfortable right now (but I don’t say that). On top of that, Grey
was.. humping me. Yet I was more annoyed I had someone watching us very closely.
Then Raymond said that he had to go and left. Thank goodness. I had a feeling I’d get a lecture from Grey, but it didn’t happen. Can’t remember what was said, but I do remember saying “oh by the way Grey, I’m primarily a top”. He’s putting his ass in my face while saying “hmm, why though?” I ask him what he meant, that he couldn’t possibly be asking a question he shouldn’t be.. and he did.
Now with how long it’s been, likely he had forgotten or was joking about that. I doubt he actually meant to ask that. Though I say this now when looking back at it, but at the time it felt like an insult. I said “well.. because I am” and he didn’t say anything else about it. So overall I didn’t say anything that would ruin this for me.

After all of that was over, Blender wanted to join us. I accepted the invite and switched to my regular avatar. While we waited for him to arrive, Grey told me the reason why he didn’t really shoo Raymond away. Said yes he has issues and does get annoying.. but sees him as a good friend and as the only one that came to his ingame birthday party two years ago. He told me to remember this.
I really wanted to give my opinion about Raymond, but Blender’s arrival stopped me. We met up with Blender and I wanted to hug him, but he acted.. a bit annoyed with me. He started assuming why I didn’t invite him an hour ago that me and Grey were doing it.
I looked at Blender and looked at Grey, who looked at me and said “well I cannot lie about it”. I sighed deeply, yet unsure why he was mad as we agreed before. (There’s a reason why I acted like this which will be explained in the footnotes)
Then Blender said “come on! I know you two!” and Grey chuckled, patting his head, looks at me and said “yeah, he knows. I fucked him a few times”. All I felt was relief that Blender wasn’t mad at me.
—
We all talked about random things, including him reminding me and telling Blender about Raymond (after I said what happened while Grey was somewhere else in the world). Even watched some videos.
Then Blender suddenly got really tired all the sudden, his speech being slurred and lower as if someone drugged him. Was really weird he want from someone that was pretty active to someone who seems ‘dead’.
He didn’t want to go to bed, as usual. …Too bad. You’re tired and you need sleep. 🙂 I’m not allowing you to pull a Jero on me. Grey told him to take his headset off and go to sleep normally, and he didn’t listen. Yet he listened to me and went to bed.
Sometime after he did, Grey asked me what was wrong with Blender. Said he has trouble sleeping, and he said “why?” I said “..I wish I knew” but explained what I do know.

It was close to 4:30 am and he was heading to bed. I felt tired too. Didn’t realize just how tired until after I hopped off VR, tried to work on this blog post and caught myself falling asleep infront of my keyboard. Odd though, as I got my 7 hours of sleep. Guess Blender and then Grey being tired made me tired. Heh.

.
So as to why I felt ‘ashamed’ when Blender asked that question about me and Grey. Well we’re in a ‘semi-unofficial relationship’. Similar to an unofficial/open relationship but without the ‘stupid’ restriction of having to tell the other every single time one of us has fun with someone else.
Does this mean I’m (pun not intended) ‘open’ to the whole open relationship thing? Yes and no. I still prefer a closed relationship, and feeling that bond between two people just doesn’t feel the same with an open. ..But who knows. I mean.., for years I assumed I was straight and fought off all attempts of ‘bending’ to the gay side. But it was blueberry, Phox and Scooby who convinced me being bi would work for me.
Is Blender indirectly showing me that an ‘open’ relationship works, where I can say “I love you” yet still have friends with benefits? The best of both worlds, you could say?
Love is definitely a complicated matter. You’d think saying “I love you”, and calling someone your “boyfriend” is all that there is when it comes to love. Think again.
–
All I do know is, it’s hard to stay true anymore. I’m enjoying this whole friends with benefits thing so much that it’ll be difficult to go back to how it was back then. As back then I had to wait until they’re in the mood and when they’re on VRChat, and that has gotten really annoying with the whole long distance relationship thing.
And also remember, I’m not like Fluffy. I don’t look for ERP. I mainly look for
affection– cuddles and being cuddled (to give me something to do because talking to friends gets boring overtime). The ERP thing is an ‘added benefit’ and only when I feel comfortable with them.
Maybe I’m changing. They say “change is good” but.. they never specified what kind of change is alright and what shouldn’t be changed.