Yesterday This morning was a pretty slow morning for Blender and for myself. He had a lot more fun making friends and being a pacifist while I spent pretty much all day writing a blog post. And.. well, let’s say I won’t be in VRChat (or in VR) for awhile… (at least with
my Index).
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May’ve killed two birds with one stone
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Blog post finally completed.. at 1 in the morning. If I didn’t procrastinate so much I would had gotten it done sooner. But before I got in VR I got IKTweaks reinstalled.
Got in and then set it where all animations play when in FTB. According to what I was
told, I need to play around with this setting to see if it fixes the whole ‘legs floating in the air when I move’ thing.
I then tested if I can see myself in a mirror now, and yes I can! Good that this is fixed. Still dunno what caused it to happen before. And so far I’m not seeing the legs floating in the air issue either. IKTweaks may’ve just killed two VR bugs with one stone for me, but this would require more testing.
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So I invited Blender to my homeworld. He told me all about what he did, including joining a Murder 4 instance, meeting friends and helping some others with life issues.
“Sounds like you had quite the adventure” I told him. He said yeah, then he said that someone I know wants to join here.
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…Anger issues
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I knew who he was talking about and was feeling annoyed. I asked “I’m guessing the name starts with an ‘O'”. He said “yes, E”.
And that’s when my frustration boiled over and said “FFS!! Why him??” then said “fine fine.” and invited him. Blender was unsure why I was so frustrated. So Orion joined and I kept quiet (and still). All he wanted to see was Blender, but wow did it sound like he was talking to me. First thing he said “well, guess who finally showed up”. But it was Blender who he was talking to. Sure sounded like he was taking jabs at me. “You keep making up excuses instead of doing proper work” (of how Blender has to mow the yards).
Better not be talking to me, all I have to say. Then he goes to Sea of Thieves, and then
says “hopefully someone doesn’t have to drop out constantly”. I could feel my anger building, waiting to lash out. Blender acted like he was talking to him.
“You’re not the only one here” Orion said. My anger grew more and more. “I’m talking about Benie.”
Ok, you asked for it. I turned to him, fire in my eyes for him not understanding.. and I let him have it. “I can’t help when my mother kept picking the worst fucking possible TIMES TO INTERRUPT ME!!”… I closed my eyes, now regretting what I just said to him. Especially hearing Blender telling me to calm down. And it’s like Orion just kept it up. “I cannot control what cannot be controlled!” I said… just anything, whatever it is even if it makes no sense, to get him off my god damn back about it and then regretting what I said after I did.
Orion said he wasn’t trying to upset me. …I had nothing to say to him that wouldn’t risk myself blowing up again, but I did start to calm down when he said “maybe I should leave”. I turned to him and said “no, Orion. You can stay. You can stay. I’m sorry.” but he already left.
“Well.. that happened.” Blender said, twice. I felt ashamed, not wanting to open my eyes and my common sense feeling “well, there goes any chance of a relationship with Blender. Way to fucking GO, dumbass!!” Blender however tried to think of ways for me to calm down. I did eventually open up my eyes, seeing him saddened for me. “I’m sorry, Blender.” I said. “I’m sorry for showing that anger to you.” Felt “well since you lost your chance you might as well cement it so it’ll never come back” and said to him “this is what I meant when I don’t like my parents. I just.. want to be left alone! So I can be with my friends!! And she. doesn’t. understand I can’t pause a fucking multiplayer game!!”
And then I told him the shit I went through when she got pissed off all because I didn’t eat when I was ‘supposed’ to, and what she told me. I began to fear I was too loud and she heard every word I just said.
EDIT: …Thank goodness she didn’t hear me when I asked her after I woke up.
I did tell Blender I was calm and again I was sorry, then I said to ask him to get Orion back in here so I can apologize. He tried, but said he “was summoned out”.
I then explained to Blender about Orion, how he seems to always has this attitude similar to Wolfdog and that my brain judges people by the tone of their voice, and that “it’s very hard to know from Orion”. It was like Blender understood my pain, and that helped me to relax a lot more. “Such as when he calls me a ‘derp’?” he asks. I say “yes. In my mind I want to protect you from all threats.. even when they’re just jokes.”
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Decided to open up and ask “can I be honest with you, Blender?” He says “sure”. “Yesterday when Orion showed up, I felt he was only there to make you go to bed and take you away from me.” I said. “So that’s why you’ve been upset with him?” he asked. I slowly nodded, closing my eyes again.. feeling extremely ashamed of myself.
“You know what? ..I feel that too, E.” he said. I opened my eyes in complete surprise and asked him if he actually felt that, and he said yes. So he feels the same thing I do.
I half smiled at him, again apologizing. He said “it’s OK, E!” and gave me a kiss. Kissed him back, feeling more happy and relaxed when being with him. Especially when he
said “love you, E!” Happily said “love you too”.
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Don’t suck and hiccup
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Before I start this section, a warning to any parents reading this blog post (and honestly if you’re allowing your kids to read my blogs.. you should stop that), but this section describes minor to moderate sexual encounters. If this makes you sick to your
stomach, look to the next section.
You have been warned.
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I remember still talking about the previous topic, how “I want to see you as a responsible adult that knows when to go to bed. I feel Orion treats you like a kid, and I don’t like that.” He said how in the group, he’s the youngest. “A group shouldn’t determine how young or old you are” I said. He seemed to appreciate that I had confidence in him.
Next thing I remember, I was talking a bit dirty to Blender after he picked my avatar up and called me a “beefy dragon”. I said “there’s plenty of beef down there (pointing at my crotch). A meaty blue dragon stick, just for you”. It was giving him a hard on. Hehe. 😏
Decided to help him out by jacking him off. He really appreciated it when he emptied himself, glad it was me that did it and not that horny Hopkin from a few mornings ago. I’m glad too. It just feels right to do so.
Then it was ‘my turn’ after he went to clean himself up, and he was nearly screaming. Music to my ears. 😉 Infact it was so good for him, it caused him to belch and have hiccups. Lol, oops.
He tried to clean me off, and occasionally hiccuped throwing him back off my dick. It was so cute, so funny. And so were the sound of his hiccups. He didn’t wanna do anything about them though, asking me “they’re not that bad, are they?”
And this just kept going on and on. I tried my damnest to keep a straight face and moaned as he sucked the cum out, but had to mute myself to laugh everytime he hiccuped. The funniest times was when he tried again and “*hickk!!*” Awww.. poor Blender. 🤭
He eventually got rid of the hiccups and made me empty my other nut. ..Mmm damn.
After all of that, he said “I’m tired, E!” Heh, ERP does tend to make you sleepy. Why I like it. It’s very relaxing.
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…Just fucking great! *facepalm*
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Seeing him laying down on his bed, I decided to literally lay down on him. Readjusted my hip tracker to face the base stations, and laid down on my stomach on my bed. I told
him “if you catch yourself drifting asleep in VR, you’ll go to bed. Alright?” He said “Ok, E!”
…He didn’t, as usual. Ohh Blender. I had to raise my voice, really wish I didn’t need to and he would just go to bed on his own.
Finally he said he’d get off. We said our “love you”‘s and gave our goodnight kisses and he got off.
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It was 4 in the morning. I had glanced over at XSOverlay and noticed my right controller wasn’t being charged. Huh. The cable must’ve popped out.. little did I know just how much had actually ‘popped out’. Still had my headset on and now sitting on my bed, I couldn’t figure out what the hell was going on with my right controller. It felt it was plugged in.
Took my headset off… and to my horror I saw what I did by complete accident.
My own body weight caused this. ..FUCK!!! I tried to put the small piece that’s now attached to the USB Type C charger, back into the controller’s charger port. But I couldn’t get it back in for it to work normally. UGH!! NOW I did it!!
Well, guess I need to contact Steam Support and pray to God almighty they’ll see this as
a ‘defect’ and not ‘end user error’, and replace it for me (for free as I’m still under warranty).
So I was doing this and also working on this blog post. And this took me to nearly 6:30 in the morning. “..I’m going to bed now” I told myself, and did.
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I never had a chance to explain my problems with Orion, but Blender at least knows and he can tell him if he wants.