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Blender’s better, for now
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After waking up and getting breakfast down me, I messaged Blender as I said I would and asked him if he got sleep. Said he did. He felt like someone was licking him and was able to fall asleep. He also thinks sleeping on a side he never did before helped but isn’t completely sure. I suggested he’d try that again and see if that helps.
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jellysaurus thinking unrealistically
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While this was going on, I was being DM’d by jellysaurus. Played along when at the same time I felt this was a mistake as I’m sending messages I don’t want to. I know he’s in
an open relationship and remember him being all “it’s no surprise most everyone is”. So you’d call me weird if I was to say I prefer a closed relationship? You really are a
whore, aren’t you? Yes, yes he is. He’s another Fluffy.
I still remember him asking me the day before; “You like naughty boys?”, and not knowing how to respond to this. Though my actual (yet confusing for him) answer would had been;
I have certain limits I will tolerate for ‘naughty boys’ before it becomes too much.
Fluffy.. well, he tends to forget but he’s starting to get it in his head.
Going back to the topic at hand, jelly kept saying “I want your <RETRACTED> in me”. Can we, you know, not talk about this until after I get my blog post done? What I wanted to say but again, I kept playing along. So I ERP’d with him in Discord. Was pretty good.
Then he wanted to show his IRL rear to me.. I hesitated for a long time. Dude I barely know you, but hoped by saying “sure I guess” this wasn’t going to come back in a really bad way on me. Thankfully he didn’t give me a closeup shot of it.. 😬
Plus he was envisioning doing it with him IRL. ..You are really making me feel very uncomfortable right now. I want to get off this ride! Hit the brakes!
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“Hey, MIBIT.”
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Came on around 10-11pm’ish. Blender wasn’t on. “Heh. I finally come on ‘early’ and he’s not here. Wow” I say to myself, then I had the thought of just messaging him to let him know and he’ll be on in a few minutes. He said “E!” but that was it.
Checking my friends list, I saw MIBIT was on and joinable. ..I also saw his status and sighed heavily: ‘sad and alone’.. dude, why are you trying to guilt trip me more? I joined anyway.
There was Sparky and some random person who both ran over to me after I arrived in the world. I wanted to speak to MIBIT in private, but I doubt they’ll allow me. Plus I don’t think he even wants to bring that back up. The two kept talking to me. The random checked my Bio and freaked out over my age, then we hear MIBIT commenting about it. I wasn’t completely sure what he said but Sparky said he said “45!”
The two ran back over to MIBIT. I stayed there, looking at him through the corner of my eye, wondering if he’ll even notice me. They ran back over to me. I waited until they were locked in a conversation, then slowly walked over to MIBIT. He asks me “what?” when I finally get over to him. I said “I’m just checking up on you. It’s been awhile”. “I’m ok” he says. I wanted to say “no, you’re not ‘ok'” but again I didn’t want to make matters
worse. Nor did I want Sparky and this random guy hearing us.
So I extended my hand to pet him, to show I’m sorry for what happened. He never once responded to it. Just then the two came back over, and I kept quiet for the remainder that I was there. MIBIT changed the subject to talking about working on his avatar. Never did he come over and want to be snuggled by me. ..Wow dude, you’re taking this a lot harder than it needs to be.
…..And then Raymond shows up.
I’m literally doing this, trying to stay hidden so he won’t see me. He sometimes went over me then went semi-AFK, giving me time to move to the other side of the group. It was starting to annoy me, so I checked my friends lists and saw Grey was on.. in a very familiar world. When Raymond was staring right at me, I used this to get out of the world.
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Reconciling with Grey
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Arriving in Grey’s homeworld, he was alone listening to something. I cleared my throat to get his attention, not wanting to move from the spawn point until feeling comfortable enough to do so. He welcomed me, asking me if I remember this place. I said “I remember it as if it was yesterday”. Can’t remember what we said afterwords but it was random stuff. Though I did say “just to let you know, Raymond might be coming here.” He said “alright, I don’t have any beef with him”. Hmm.
Checked VRCX and noticed MIBIT went to a private world shortly after I left. Either he left because I did or left because Raymond was annoying the fuck out of him, and Raymond went somewhere else. Hours passed and I asked Blender if he wasn’t thinking of getting on tonight. He said “I’ll be there soon!” ..more time passed and no Blender, but others did join…. including Raymond. I played it cool.
Blender did eventually join. Told me he was sorry for not coming on when he said he would as he was doing rendering work for another episode of his CEC work.
A few minutes later, Kovo also joined. I said “perfect timing” (as a joke since Blender was licking me and I was laying up on my bed with my legs spread out). But I explained everything was alright, and asked him what brought him here. He said how he was “done with the week” (aka done everything he needed to do in Destiny 2) and had nothing else to do. Fair enough.
Went back to Blender and asked him to hyperlick Kovo, and he went to go do so. And then Kovo made a ‘fatal error’ by saying “you know he can pick my feet up and lick them”.. so that’s exactly what I did and he started licking them, Kovo unable to move! HAHAHA..
Ohh Kovo, you idiot.. you shouldn’t had said that!
–
Next thing I know, Kovo’s talking to someone and Blender lifts his right foot up and starts licking it. He reacts to this saying…
(Not in that way, but you know what I mean)
I said “Hang on Blender, let me help” and grabbed Kovo’s left foot, then said “Here you go Blender, now you can lick both of them!”
Watching Kovo helpless while Blender happily licks his feet be like..
I hear Kovo say “I hate you” to me. Hahahaha. Your own fault for saying that to Blender.
Meanwhile, Grey seemed he wanted to get a bit frisky with me, and even opened up a portal behind me for us to enter.
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Why Grey tolerates Raymond
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Entered the world, Grey spawned in behind me. So, this is your way you wish to reconcile? I’ll accept it. 🙂
…..Raymond joins. Uhhh. Grey, I don’t like this! He watches us doing it. I wanted to say something but I didn’t want to offend either of them. This soon hit a point I couldn’t help but say “why do we need someone watching us?!” Raymond says “why not?”
Because I don’t feel comfortable right now (but I don’t say that). On top of that, Grey
was.. humping me. Yet I was more annoyed I had someone watching us very closely.
Then Raymond said that he had to go and left. Thank goodness. I had a feeling I’d get a lecture from Grey, but it didn’t happen. Can’t remember what was said, but I do remember saying “oh by the way Grey, I’m primarily a top”. He’s putting his ass in my face while saying “hmm, why though?” I ask him what he meant, that he couldn’t possibly be asking a question he shouldn’t be.. and he did.
Now with how long it’s been, likely he had forgotten or was joking about that. I doubt he actually meant to ask that. Though I say this now when looking back at it, but at the time it felt like an insult. I said “well.. because I am” and he didn’t say anything else about it. So overall I didn’t say anything that would ruin this for me.
After all of that was over, Blender wanted to join us. I accepted the invite and switched to my regular avatar. While we waited for him to arrive, Grey told me the reason why he didn’t really shoo Raymond away. Said yes he has issues and does get annoying.. but sees him as a good friend and as the only one that came to his ingame birthday party two years ago. He told me to remember this.
I really wanted to give my opinion about Raymond, but Blender’s arrival stopped me. We met up with Blender and I wanted to hug him, but he acted.. a bit annoyed with me. He started assuming why I didn’t invite him an hour ago that me and Grey were doing it.
I looked at Blender and looked at Grey, who looked at me and said “well I cannot lie about it”. I sighed deeply, yet unsure why he was mad as we agreed before. (There’s a reason why I acted like this which will be explained in the footnotes)
Then Blender said “come on! I know you two!” and Grey chuckled, patting his head, looks at me and said “yeah, he knows. I fucked him a few times”. All I felt was relief that Blender wasn’t mad at me.
—
We all talked about random things, including him reminding me and telling Blender about Raymond (after I said what happened while Grey was somewhere else in the world). Even watched some videos.
Then Blender suddenly got really tired all the sudden, his speech being slurred and lower as if someone drugged him. Was really weird he want from someone that was pretty active to someone who seems ‘dead’.
He didn’t want to go to bed, as usual. …Too bad. You’re tired and you need sleep. 🙂 I’m not allowing you to pull a Jero on me. Grey told him to take his headset off and go to sleep normally, and he didn’t listen. Yet he listened to me and went to bed.
Sometime after he did, Grey asked me what was wrong with Blender. Said he has trouble sleeping, and he said “why?” I said “..I wish I knew” but explained what I do know.
It was close to 4:30 am and he was heading to bed. I felt tired too. Didn’t realize just how tired until after I hopped off VR, tried to work on this blog post and caught myself falling asleep infront of my keyboard. Odd though, as I got my 7 hours of sleep. Guess Blender and then Grey being tired made me tired. Heh.
.
So as to why I felt ‘ashamed’ when Blender asked that question about me and Grey. Well we’re in a ‘semi-unofficial relationship’. Similar to an unofficial/open relationship but without the ‘stupid’ restriction of having to tell the other every single time one of us has fun with someone else.
Does this mean I’m (pun not intended) ‘open’ to the whole open relationship thing? Yes and no. I still prefer a closed relationship, and feeling that bond between two people just doesn’t feel the same with an open. ..But who knows. I mean.., for years I assumed I was straight and fought off all attempts of ‘bending’ to the gay side. But it was blueberry, Phox and Scooby who convinced me being bi would work for me.
Is Blender indirectly showing me that an ‘open’ relationship works, where I can say “I love you” yet still have friends with benefits? The best of both worlds, you could say?
Love is definitely a complicated matter. You’d think saying “I love you”, and calling someone your “boyfriend” is all that there is when it comes to love. Think again.
–
All I do know is, it’s hard to stay true anymore. I’m enjoying this whole friends with benefits thing so much that it’ll be difficult to go back to how it was back then. As back then I had to wait until they’re in the mood and when they’re on VRChat, and that has gotten really annoying with the whole long distance relationship thing.
And also remember, I’m not like Fluffy. I don’t look for ERP. I mainly look for
affection– cuddles and being cuddled (to give me something to do because talking to friends gets boring overtime). The ERP thing is an ‘added benefit’ and only when I feel comfortable with them.
Maybe I’m changing. They say “change is good” but.. they never specified what kind of change is alright and what shouldn’t be changed.