“Sorry I’m good at VR!” / Wufy’s handling things now / Chilling with Scooby / DJ, who’s on your arm?

Posted on 06-03-2019 by Benie

Yesterday was slower than yesterday, but at least there was a lot less love drama. Kovo never came on (and I found out why today). Though I nearly got into some sticky situations for not using proper judgement.. and hope it doesn’t get any worse (but I think I’ll be OK). *sigh* Let’s just say that it’s once again taught me that sometimes it’s best to walk away and let your friends fix their own issues.
And finally, I stayed up a bit too late last night (again).
Let’s begin;
“Sorry I’m good at VR!”
About 9:15 or so, I decided to get into VRChat while I noticed Kovo playing ASTRONEER. But for some reason, he never asked me if I wanted to join him (so I assumed he was probably waiting for me to get into VRChat for him to join). So, not many were on that evening. Saw Scooby on and tried to join him, only to join an empty world (and saw Scooby’s now in a private world). Dag nabit!
Stayed there for a bit, then got a join request from Aftershock (who wanted to join
me), but it said I would have to ask Scooby.. who’s not here. Lmao. Wow. After a bit I decided to join him to see what he wanted, but he was just bored and wanted to chill with me. Fair enough.
We went to another world where he was able to show me how this shark puppet thing he found, works (how it has a zoom shader). I don’t like zoom shaders, as they make me think something is seriously wrong with my headset (plus, they fuck with your brain). So with that done, he wanted to do a few minigames with me (which I gladly showed him I suck at everything). This got to the point I rage quitted and went to go see another friend (Rivers).
———————–
Wufy’s handling things now
Aftershock joined claiming I never sent him an invite (gee I wonder why, maybe because I’m tired of having my tail handed to me by you?) Meh. Also, this was the same world I ran into Wufy before. He actually joined later on (with a lot of people here). I asked him how he was holding up, and was kind of hesitant of telling me. I told him if he wanted to talk somewhere more private, we can. But he never did, only telling me that he dealt with it and calmed Frost down.
Some time later, I was with him in the house’s second floor, wanting to keep him company. Again he wouldn’t tell me what happened that night when Frost showed up and was looking for him, only that it was more of being mad at him, calming him down, but also telling me he has anger issues that might need a professional to be looked at. And honestly, I’m glad Wufy’s taking this route. He’s taking responsibility for what he’s
done, which is good. And also, that means I don’t have to worry about them as much (less drama on my mind).
…Though, I may or may not had nearly fucked myself over by saying “I’m sure Kovo would be happy to know this”. I have no idea why this thought, my brain felt it had to be said out loud to him, but I was able to regain his trust by telling him “I will not tell him, I promise”… which I went behind his back and told Kovo anyway. But he(Kovo) already knew it was best to stay out of it (and knew I needed to be there), as he told me Wufy had unfriended him too. In other words, it’s why he never asked me to join him to play that game; he wanted me to deal with Wufy.
———————–
Chilling with Scooby (and other friends)
Several hours passed and the world began to get less people (as it was getting late), and Wufy left to go talk with his French-speaking friends. I was checking my friend lists and still not seeing many on. Checking the world lists, and remembered favoriting DJ’s Dutchie world. Created a Friends Only instance and went in to check it out.
It’s pretty nice, but I personally don’t feel it really speaks ‘Dutch Angel Dragon’ to me; lots of trees in the way of potential landing spots, and a broken cobblestone road leading to a few buildings. Just.. why would they have a need for any of this? Of course, I’m always thinking of ‘traditional dragons’ (and have no idea the lore of a Dutch Angel Dragon).
I eventually found the Avatars building, and as I was about ready to go to it, I heard the sound of a Scoobypup barking behind me.
Turned around, trying to see where he was but had no visual, and Scooby appeared coming up the road to see me. He stopped and asked me in a sly tone if I noticed anything different with his avatar. Since the day before, I could almost swear that Scooby might have a small crush on me (but I’m not going to ask him unless he actually starts flirting or something).
So, I looked closely and sadly could see nothing different. He kept switching to his other avatar, hoping with time I would notice the change. Eventually he knew I’m not going to get it and gave up, and said “I have a tummy!” ..I could make an alien joke right now (that he got probed), but I think it would only be mildly funny.
Jusper surprisingly shows up shortly after, and took him much quicker than me to find out what was changed. However, he stated Scooby messed up somewhere and made the feet too big. And Scooby started sighing and stuff. Jusper said he would look into it
tomorrow, but I don’t think he ever heard him say it.
Clone then joins us, talking with Jusper about all the things he would like to do with him. Mmmm… I was hoping for the right time to ask him “how do you find ‘friends with benefits’? What’s your secret to getting lucky?” But I never had that chance. Might be forced one day, to pull him away from people and ask in private. He did say once that if I wanted to speak to him, I can.
–
Scooby then said he was going to another world, and I told him I wanna join (just to give him company). Then he left, and suddenly Jusper speaks up to me saying he helped him before with his model, how something happened to the .fbx and he had to redo his model. And he says when Scooby doesn’t get his way, he gets all pouty and stuff. Hmm. All the more reason not to ask about if he has a crush on me.
So I joined the world Scooby was at, and told him what Jusper said (how he would help him tomorrow). And it was like he never heard him say it. So he was with a friend of
his (who knows I’m friends with Heol), and said he was going to join him. So we did, and Heol was AFK. I heard Scooby say he would be back (but never did). I decided to stay and wait for Heol to get back (which took a long time).
I was about ready to go see Scooby, but Heol finally (briefly) spoke to me. Not really much to say between us, to be honest (as I’m done with WoW and have been for many years). Then he said he was going to go AFK again, and I felt “what was the point of that??”, and went to go see Scooby.. just as they were about to leave for another world. Dag nabit. And he went into a private world.
—
I can’t remember what happened next, but eventually I went back to the instance I
created of the Dutchie world (as Jusper was still there). Got back to the avatar building and went in, and saw Jusper talking to Cola (with Clone gone). Thought for sure if I wait my time, I would be able to ask my question. But again, that (sadly) never happened.
Lunar sends me an invite to join her somewhere, but I wanted to stay with the two (and talked to Jusper about the existing issues with my headset).
At first he said “that’s a VRChat issue” and “your Bluetooth dongle shouldn’t be receiving garbage signals”, but now he doesn’t know the reason. As we were finishing our conversation, he spots someone listening into our conversation. It was Lunar, who we tried to chase down and get her over here (which she eventually did).
He called her cute (which of course she denied) and stuff like that. We chilled for a few hours until it was 5 in the morning for me. Knew I needed to get to bed, but decided to stay up (worst. mistake. EVER!! Never again will I stay up to 6 in the morning at this time of year.. when the fucking SUN is coming up!!!)
———————–
DJ, who’s on your arm?
5:37am, a few more people are joining the world. I’m not at all tired, and I noticed DJ in full body all by himself, looking upset of what he did. I sigh and go over to him, feeling I need to be there to give him some support.
…I then noticed he has a new hand puppet on his arm (in place of Blue), and try to get a closer look. It looked like Azure, but I wasn’t 100% sure. So I did another stupid thing by pulling out my camera, as DJ looked like he was AFK to get a picture (in order to show it to Kovo). Took the picture…

..Literally five seconds later, DJ turned around and saw me with my camera, asking “did you take a picture of me?” I tried to lie my way out of it, but I had to tell him the truth and said how “I was just curious who that was on your arm”, and he told me it was Azure. I was nervous since then (and still am as I type this), thinking any second he was going to say something that would end our friendship.
Ohh why did I do that?! ..Oh yeah, because of WTF is Azure doing on your arm, when she has a BF!? No-one that I know of, has their bestest best friend on their arm in the place of a lover!! But I never asked that (and for good reason).
But it seemed everything was cool with us, with him saying he was going to be working on the world to fix a few bugs and had to unpublish it to do so. Then he’s telling me he
could “kick me” from the world (even though I created the instance). Yet.. *nervously laughing* thankfully for me, VRChat was so broken that he was unable to even send a warn to test it. Then he talks about his community and the Best Boi community, and hoping drama won’t shut it down.
I told him “if it wasn’t for Ashi, I’m pretty sure the community would had lasted longer”. And he kind of agrees. He told me that Ashi’s own Discord server got hacked (and he was kicked out of his own server). After what he did to Telephone and the Discord server that was set up for her, it felt like sweet revenge.
Then he talked about Rocket and how she was in an instance of his world. Said he joined her and was all “Gtfo bitch” and kicked her from the world. Mmm. Even with what she said to the dying community (that enraged me), I would not do that to her (that’s a bit too far, even for me).

.
So, that’s about it that I remember of the day, other than taking my headset off and realizing how much light was coming through my windows.. never again, will I stay up that late! Wow does the sun come up quickly this time of year.

Posted in Drama | Comments Off on “Sorry I’m good at VR!” / Wufy’s handling things now / Chilling with Scooby / DJ, who’s on your arm?

The truth about DJ / Lunar’s nice pic of me / Late night love drama

Posted on 06-02-2019 by Benie

“Ohh why did I come back to VRChat!?” I think of times after what happened last
night, where I feel like a friend threw me to the wall in hopes he could rely on my kindness of wanting to have everyone’s back, yet also placed me in a very sticky situation if I should had put my foot down (in order to keep a friend.. but would also risk losing another).
Oy. Last night wasn’t fun. And it just makes Jusper’s words more and more true (that an online relationship just isn’t for me.. or hardly anyone in this game).
–
*fires up Pandora to help me through this one.. gets song that reminds me of what Wufy is going through* Fuck. Next song! *hears something different* ..Better. Anyway, let’s begin with something that happened the day before between DJ, Kovo and Vale (though I was in the room);
The truth about DJ
I asked Kovo if he wouldn’t mind telling me what happened that night. And since a lot happened, I asked for a brief summary. Said he “was right” about DJ; he has been cheating on Blue, but wouldn’t tell me whom until much later.
That later time came in a call to him, and he said it was.. literally everyone (though he had a crush on Frost the most). Aka, he was ERPing with everyone he could. Never knew DJ to be that horny. But it’s one thing to be horny.. and it’s another to be cheating on your BF.
Now that he knows he has an issue, of course he feels like shit for what he did (and understands why I was avoiding him). I mean, we all make mistakes. We’re only human afterall. And the reason why I was avoiding him that night, is I didn’t know what to say to him. It’s hard to support someone where a lot of my friends are against (especially when I have their backs).
Yesterday afternoon, Kovo sent me a semi-long conversation with DJ telling Kovo to ignore and block him for all the shit he did, but had Kovo telling him that he needs to change (and couldn’t do it for him). And at the end, he said he would try, but Kovo wants me to keep my ears open to make sure of this.
–
*sigh* I personally feel ‘done’ with DJ (not as a friend, but as for support). Mainly, I don’t know DJ or Blue that well (as I know Frost and Wufy). Blue keeps things to himself. He doesn’t open up to anyone of his feelings. And probably the only reason I’m still friends with him is for helping him with his eyes.
And DJ.. *sigh* I dunno what to say about him. I feel, neutral to him (even though I can’t thank him enough for helping me to think of what was wrong with my
computer).
Maybe, let Kovo deal with this while I deal with Wufy and Frost. And speaking of those two, Kovo feels he fucked up by using Wufy to get the truth out of him. I feel a bit ashamed of Kovo for this, as I told him everything Wufy told me. Yet he apparently wasn’t satisfied with my answer, and he lost Frost as a friend in the process.
Meh. As long as I don’t lose either as a friend, I’ll be happy. I like them both, and want them to be happy.
—————————-
Lunar’s nice pic of me
Let’s lighten the mood here (before it gets dark again). Kovo and I were playing ASTRONEER while waiting for Vale to get in VRChat. The reason is this is Vale’s possible last day that we may ever see him again, before he gets shipped out to the U.S. Marines.
So when he gets on later yesterday, we needed to make it the best night we ever had with him (with Kovo ‘joking around’ saying he’ll send him lots of porn).
As we were playing, Lunar DMs me with a “lil sneak peak” of something she’s working on;

Immediately I knew she was drawing my avatar (or at least a form of it). Later on, she sends me the finished product;

I’m not gonna lie, text can’t describe my true feelings toward this (how I was chuckling hard IRL at the ‘From’ tag). I love it, I absolutely love it. *chuckles*
Thank you, Lunar. You are too sweet for your own good. 🙂
———————–
Late night love drama
Time to now talk about what happened last night (and why anything could
happen.. though I pray it’s good). At this time, I just don’t see it. There’s so much missing from this; so many questions, with Wufy asking the biggest.. of what did he do wrong.
Anyway, we were in another world watching a very interesting VR horror survival
game that Scooby was trying to show off; Edge of Nowhere. It’s got me pretty hooked, as I want other VR games to play (besides just VRChat all the time). It reminds me part of the single player story of Warframe (in a way).
Also.. I met the legend PHD Mcstuffin while I was in that room (the guy who does the Baldy VRChat videos)!! HOLY FUCK! I even have proof of him and a few friends going through a portal with him to see his latest video;

I’m such a fan of his work, and to meet him face-to-face is an honor. He knew who I was when he saw my avatar, and said “I remember your YouTube comments!”
–
Right, let’s move on. Scooby also wanted us to watch Call of Cthulhu. I’ve already seen
it, but decided to watch it anyway. Now, Wufy was there for most of the time. Then he disappeared, and Frost appeared. I said “hey man!”, but it was like he didn’t see me as he looked around the room as if he was looking for someone. Then he went back to spawn and said in a quieted voice “Hey Benie”. He nuzzled my nose and I nuzzled his, and I tried to figure out what was going on. He said he was “half tired and half depressed”. Unfortunately I cannot remember word for word of what he told me, but it seemed he was still pretty pissed off at Wufy.
Kovo and Vale ran over to try and figure out what was going on too, but then I heard Scooby being all “is there drama? I don’t want to hear it”. Kovo convinced him that there would be no drama while I stayed with Frost (and talked quietly, so Scooby wouldn’t hear).
I seriously wish I could remember what was said by him, but I think Scooby kind of ruined my concentration. From what I do remember, he was mad enough to punch something. …What the hell did Wufy say to him to cause this?! Then he said he needed to go before he trips balls or something of the sort.. he was extremely pissed.
—
About 5 or so minutes later, Wufy calls me. ..The HELL?! He never did this before! I was forced to mute my voice ingame and answer his call, and he says “Benie, I need your help. Frost blocked me in Discord!” He says he wasn’t trying to ignore Frost, he had to go do some things (and wanted me to pull Frost into the group chat to get this taken care of).
I was extremely hesitant in doing so, feeling it would just cause more drama. But I tried and thankfully I wasn’t able to (as his name contains special characters that Discord doesn’t like when looking up someone).
So, he found it odd that Frost was still playing VRChat, and eventually told me he was going to confront him about this, and I wished him luck. 10 minutes later, he calls back sounding heartbroken and confused, saying Blue was with him and was hugging him. And when he asked Frost what was going on, he only left the game. Now poor Wufy doesn’t know what the hell he did wrong. Says he was playing a game with him today for two
hours, having fun and stuff like that (trying to show him the love that Frost gave him). Then he tells me that Frost “asked for money” and then said he had to go.
—
I am completely clueless on what the hell is going on with Frost (just like Wufy), only that he might be dating Blue (or Blue might be trying to date him). But Wufy feels if that’s
true, then why doesn’t he just come up to him and tell him (instead of running away)..? And that’s the truth.
Could Frost be acting how Wuffer was acting around me (showing his ‘true form’)? Or is there something going on in his life (that he refuses to tell me or him)? It’s like, a complete 180 from how this all unfolded. And Wufy feels that Frost has suicidal tendencies.
But, I told him to give Frost a few days and hope for the best (that he’ll come to him and explain what’s going on). Even if he doesn’t tell me, at least Wufy would (hopefully) know.

That experience felt like it ruined my weekend; felt emotionally drained. But Wufy let me go, knowing that there’s really not much more I could do for him (and I really can’t, unless Frost allows me to, by opening up to me). …Because I’m not going to endanger friendships over this (despite telling Kovo as much as I could while Wufy was speaking to me). But I’m only doing it as both of us care for them a lot.
I did get back on VRChat (my headset timed out while I was talking to Wufy), and did my best to enjoy the rest of the morning (staying up to 5:30 in the morning to give Scooby someone to cuddle with, while watching videos).
So, that’s about it. As I said, I really hope things go better for Wufy and Frost.

.
Oh, something I forgot to say, so far that headset disconnecting issue hasn’t happened. However I’ve been getting those issues with my right controller sending inputs that I’m
not (making me spin or turn). This gets even worse if one of them turns off.. suddenly it’s like I no longer have control of what my controllers do (moving back and forth without doing anything).
Going to try to move the cable that’s attached to my Bluetooth dongle to be next to the USB 3.0 port of my headset. See if that fixes the false signals.

Posted in Drama, Love Drama, Personal | Comments Off on The truth about DJ / Lunar’s nice pic of me / Late night love drama

Creepery. / Wufy’s promise to change / Mother’s back online

Posted on 06-01-2019 by Benie

Despite being sick (but slightly feeling better today), I need to stop letting it get in the way of VRChat. Right now my symptoms are basically, a stuffy head (my ears feel stopped
up(which causes the dizziness)), runny nose, coughing, and chest congestion.
If I don’t get better by this coming Friday, I’m going to call Uber and get my ass up to the doctor and get a shot to get better (and get my ears cleaned out), because by then it’ll be too long.
Anyway, I got a lot to discuss. One thing, something that was said but never really hit me until I told Kovo yesterday, getting on VRChat and bumping into Wufy and hearing his side of the story, and finally getting mother out of my hair (and off of my keyboard).
Let’s begin;
—————-
Creepery. (What happened to him?)
I don’t know how to start this one, as I feel I wasn’t there for him at his time of need. The reason why I say that is on May 10th, Creepery is in a cheerful mood about a week after having to get Frost to help him with his depression, and it seems it worked at the time. He said he was planning to get back on VRChat, and… I never joined him (nor did he ask me to). He said he was going to try to find an online relationship.
Nearly a week after that, he sends me this;
“what i am about to do will be sad but will be for someone i really care about.”
To this day, this is the last message I got from him. I didn’t know what to think of it, and was hoping he would give me a response of what the hell does he mean by this. Yesterday when I was talking to Kovo about the love drama that’s been going on, he mentioned Creepery and I told him. He said that this isn’t good, that it could be “possibly a suicide note”. …God I hope not.
And today, his name has been changed to ‘Deleted User 4bab1def’. This might indicate he’s still alive (but deleted his account), or a family member deleted his account. Spoke to some of his friends about this (including Acid Claws), and he feels there might be a chance he’s still alive (mentioning his YouTube channel, but for some reason, never giving me it). Said he’ll keep me informed if he hears anything about Creepery.
————————-
Wufy’s promise to change
As said above, I got on VRChat yesterday (not letting my illness get to me). I mean, I’m not that ill that I can’t use my computer (thank goodness). First hung out with a few friends in Cute’s world (trying to keep people from throwing these player-buffering soccer balls around). Kovo got on and we had fun (in his expense) with the whole ‘gay talk’ thing.
Went to another world I’ve never been to. Huge, spacious modern-style house with a really cool background of a city. This world has a video player (only reason we went there).
Happened to be outside the house and saw Wufy pop up infront of me.. hmm. He was as hesitant to talk to me as I was, but he broke the ice. Told him that “I’m not here to lecture you of what you should had done”, and he knows he fucked up.
But I said “you’re still a good friend”. He said “I’m a good friend, but a bad lover”.
Said “I’m not perfect too dude. I had the chance to be happy twice, and I blew it. Even though he claims he still loves me”.. aka talking about Wuffer, and then telling him that he indirectly told me why Wuffer isn’t coming clean of why he left me the second time.
–
Anyway, he said that three days after the two broke up, he had dreams that reminded him of all the fun times they had; it was the wake-up call he needed to realize he would’ve been happy for the rest of his life, and threw it away.
Now knowing this, he went up to Frost and tried talking to him. According to him, Frost gave him a hug and he cried in his arms. But Frost claims he “wants nothing to do with him”. Yet he claims he talked to Frost after he (Frost) talked to me, and it’s different. Trying to ask Frost, all he says is he’s “trying to handle things”. Fair enough. Shouldn’t even be asking him that, but I care for my friends, you know?
But if Wufy manages to change (listening to his heart instead of his head), hopefully there might be a chance the two can finally start that new chapter in their lives (as I said before).
———————-
Mother’s back online (and out of my hair!)
A day that I should be happy I won’t have her waking me up at 7 in the morning, for me to turn my computer on just to check her fucking bank balance, ever again. But I’m only sort of happy. I’m only glad she’s back online, but I’m not happy that I wasn’t the one that helped her.
She bought an Ethernet card on Amazon and it arrived today. I tried to install it, but it didn’t want to align perfectly into the slot. My father who was there, got impatient and decided to do it himself. So now they’re making me feel I’m too incompetent (even mother saying that she no longer feels I know what I’m doing).
Yep, this is the way parents are supposed to act; anti-encouraging their child. Father did get the card in and I was faced with no choice but to screw it in and put everything back together. After that, I had to help get her computer back into the living room and get everything set up. She’s back online now, fuckup has been undone.
Later on, mother apologized saying she was only “worried for me” that the government would see I’m “too smart” and cut me off. She knows I had to know this shit since our main computer repair guy is no longer around, and I no longer feel angered.
–
While I was installing the drivers to make the expansion card work, I noticed how ridiculously slow her computer was. Looking at her resource manager, she has like.. no free RAM left (only having 2GB, and 7 was nearly using all of it). Wow. Just.. wow.
Later, I was able to eventually get Speccy installed in her computer, and then send the results to mine (so I can look up how much RAM she can have). And holy fuck, is her motherboard OLD!! The maximum RAM she can have, is 4GB! Fucking, ridiculous. She needs to upgrade!
But, I told her that I won’t do anything that makes her uncomfortable. She’s online, and she’s happy. Let’s let that wait ’till a later time.

Posted in Computing, Drama, Love Drama, Personal | Comments Off on Creepery. / Wufy’s promise to change / Mother’s back online

DJ and BlueDrago have now broke up

Posted on 05-30-2019 by Benie

If VRChat was a TV soap opera with how many online relationships have eventually died off (including all of mine), it would have high ratings. And on the heels of Frost and Wufy breaking up, DJ and Blue have. I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if Azure and Lich broke up next (or have already).
The longest-running online relationship of all of my friends (that’ll soon switch to a IRL relationship), is Mel and NapPie. Their relationship is still going strong.
–
From what I’m able to initially get, DJ started the entire thing. Exactly how is unclear at this time, but Frost told me that DJ was harassing him claiming it was his fault that Wufy left him (and managed to turn Frost’s friends against him). And somehow, this also made FoxGrace leave the group chat I’m a part of (and another one also left). If I’m to assume a
reason, Fox is probably sick of hearing the drama (and for good reason). Or it could had been something else DJ said.
Now I hear (from DJ himself) and Blue left him, and left him where DJ’s pretty pissed off that he demoted Blue from being a mod of his Angel Dragon Discord server.
It’s too early to tell if this means the fall of both this group chat and DJ’s Discord server. But I do not like hearing what’s coming from Frost about DJ. Though I feel DJ has a split personality, where he’s nice around me but mean around everyone else. Perhaps he’s just another Ashi, who’s manipulating me thinking he’s a nice guy. ..I dunno, but I just don’t like hearing what I’m reading. It’s very troubling, and could result in myself blocking and unfriending him both in Discord and in VRChat.

EDIT: Now hearing from Frost that DJ pulled all of his public avatars, leaving Blue with no-one willing to help him.. except me (because I’m a nice guy). He wants custom eyes (via Villar’s Eye Tracking Shader), and I thankfully know how to do them (thanks to Kat showing how she did them for Wuffer). And speaking of Kat, she won’t because she doesn’t like Blue (probably for the whole thing with DJ.. I still dunno the full story). But, Frost came up to me and asked if I knew anyone that can do eyes. Since I 110% trust the one that helped me with Wuffer (and Creepery), that means I should be able to trust Blue (which means DJ’s the reason the breakup happened).
Anyway, I just need to get Unity reinstalled and get my main project folder back (and also reinstall GIMP and FireAlpaca), then do the eyes and have them done by the evening (as I promised him).

EDIT2: Finally got Unity resinstalled (had to literally pull myself away from binge watching Dashie’s Super Mario Maker rage videos). While I was reinstalling, in the back of my mind I could feel Unity’s not going to be nice and just display everything as I had it before the reinstall of Windows… and sure enough, I was fucking right. All the versions of BenieTheDragon are showing ‘Missing Prefab’! FUCK!!! WHY Unity, do you HATE the Dutchie so much (despite it being an old model)?!

I can still help Blue out. I just have to reinstall the Dutchie and help him. After I do that, it seems I have no choice but to recreate my model.
Oh how I wish I could snap my fingers and holy hell I suddenly have the knowledge I need to use Blender to do my own custom Dutchie, instead of rely on others! I need to get Zagro to help me. Or, have Erodac sit down and teach me, step-by-step, of how he was able to do what he did for me (that way I could do it myself).
But in the meantime, doing all of that work of adjusting the attachments is a necessity, but it’s not a high priority (next to helping Blue).

EDIT3: ..Unity truly hates me. Should’ve known doing something so SIMPLE won’t work!! I have to go out of my fucking way to make another project folder, JUST to get the damn thing to install properly! Wish I wasn’t still sick and my head wasn’t spinning like a
top, ruining my concentration. I also wish I didn’t make that promise to Blue that I’ll have it done by the evening. I mean, if I never reinstalled Windows, I would’ve had it done that night. But noooo.. Unity wants to be a bitch. 😛

EDIT4:

So, this is the reason it’s not working? …Really. I have to have Blender, just to make the model show up. ..Fine, alright.
And even when I did get it installed, it still wasn’t ‘seeing’ the model. Luckily I was able to fix this (and kill off the ‘Missing Prefab’ thing) by selecting the model, then clicked the  ‘Optimize Game Object’ checkbox and clicked Apply. Now my model is showing up again;

I then needed to disable the optimize game object thing in order for the model to face correctly. Yay for that, but the attachments are still in a pile. I’ll have to sort through all of that shit later.. Blue needs to be helped now.

EDIT5: It took awhile, but this is what I was able to come up with;

I ended up using one of Kovo’s custom eyes (as I have no idea how to do it in GIMP or FireAlpaca). There’s got to be a way, I just haven’t found it.
One thing that slightly concerns me, isn’t the eyes, but the default Dutchie animation. I’m noticing an issue with the jaw (again);

Since I don’t think Blue knows how to upload avatars, this is a problem. And attempting to overwrite with a fresh version isn’t doing the job. But thankfully I was able to fix it by adjusting the bone in the model;

Looking MUCH better now! 😀 Think he’s ready to go. I’ll update this post after dinner and uploading this to him.

Sent him a .unitypackage file containing the model and his skin, and asked him to let me know if he runs into a problem. He said “I will”, yet he didn’t say a thing; not even a thank you.
Hmmm. Was I wrong about Blue? Did he have a hand of this? Told Frost later on, which got Blue to thank me. And he claims it wasn’t intentional (that he “just forgot”). Riiight. Whatever, at least I got Unity running, and got to help someone. I don’t care what you use it for. Now I can get to work going through the hell of reconnecting all of those attachments.

Posted in Computing, Drama, Love Drama | Comments Off on DJ and BlueDrago have now broke up

‘Large and Extremely Dangerous’ tornado hits Dayton, OH

Posted on 05-28-2019 by Benie

From a peaceful evening, to a possible warzone from not one but two large tornadoes rolling just north of Dayton, OH. And at this time, the initial supercell is still going and still has a confirmed large tornado on the ground.
Visiting Dayton (with my parents) a few times in my life, this really hurts me to hear such chaos and devastation by the hands of mother nature. This is their ‘March 2nd 2012’.
The first tornado moved in at 10:45pm EDT, and the second about 15-20 minutes later.
–
There’s reports of multiple roads blocked off, and multiple houses either damaged or destroyed, and they’re overwhelmed with so many calls to the point they say “if you have a vehicle, get yourself to the hospital”.
Likely the governor of Ohio will declare a state of emergency and get the national guard out to assist with the mass destruction.

My prayers are with the families that there will be no deaths from this terrible, historic event.
This coming Wednesday and Thursday, we here could see our shot of severe weather. But as of now, it’s nothing compared to what Dayton and northern Indiana saw yesterday.

Posted in Weather Alerts | Comments Off on ‘Large and Extremely Dangerous’ tornado hits Dayton, OH

I’m sick today / Did the port switching actually work this time…?

Posted on 05-27-2019 by Benie

Well I am sick now, thanks to father for catching mother’s cold and then coughing everywhere, which made me sick. 😛
Symptoms are a sore scratchy throat, runny nose, watery eyes, and sinus pressure. So thanks, father. If I wanted to be sick, I would had asked you to cough on me… because it’s been awhile since I’ve gotten anything. Like.. two years?
Doing everything I can (medicine wise) to get well as quick as I can, but I think only time will help (aka if it doesn’t get better in a week, to go see a doctor).
The sore throat started the night before yesterday, the runny nose and watery eyes started yesterday, and the sinus pressure started today. Can’t wait to see what’s going to be tomorrow’s symptom! Coughing, maybe?
Anyway, I hope to feel better soon.
———————
Did the port switching actually work this time…?
Despite being sick and feeling like I got ran over by someone’s bike, I tried playing VRChat. Not much was going on yesterday.. pretty slow for a Sunday night. But, I stayed on for quite awhile without a single major attempt to disconnect me. There were a few quirks of sudden slowness with people loading in, and the occasional glitch of suddenly moving when no movement input was given by me, but no attempts of disconnecting.
It even seems the reinstall of Windows got out the major glitching of the headset/controllers; never happened once.
It’s quite promising, though I’m probably speaking too early and it’s going to happen again. But if it doesn’t, then it’s highly possible this ‘VR Ready’ port either has an issue or was never designed for WMR. That port’s being used for something else though.

Posted in Computing, Personal | Comments Off on I’m sick today / Did the port switching actually work this time…?

A Windows reinstall with real problems / Broken promises

Posted on 05-25-2019 by Benie

Got done reinstalling Windows an hour and a half ago. Now the reinstallation was blazing fast, but only one of my monitors wants to connect at anytime (can’t get both to connect). There’s got to be something I’m overlooking. Has to be. I don’t think this is ‘a sign I fried something’, because it would had shown after the upgrade.
–
Used the 128GB USB stick I used before (that I used to move the edited PS4 game review videos to my computer for upload to YouTube) as my Windows 10 installation ‘disc’. Waited an hour to properly format the thing (though Windows did its own mode of formatting). Left it in and restarted, and it booted itself up. What was odd is the process happened in my secondary monitor (instead of the primary).
After wiping out the SSD of everything and installing Windows, I took the USB stick out for it to continue with the installation. This is when I started noticing strange, erratic behavior with the primary monitor (which was causing the secondary monitor to ‘black out’ at times). Unplugging the primary, the issue went away with the secondary and I finished the setting up in… what I would say record time compared to installing from a CD.
Noticed the taskbar was white instead of blue.. very odd color choice, Windows. Anyway, I quickly downloaded and installed the latest drivers for my video card, and
restarted (feeling this should get things going). Plugged in the primary.. again with the same erratic behavior (and this time with wild color changes in the secondary, with it flickering and stuff).
Unplugging the secondary, the primary still isn’t working right. But I managed to get it by removing the second (HDMI to DisplayPort adapter) and only plug in the HDMI, and adjusted the adapter properties to use 70 hertz (and did the same for the secondary by unplugging the primary).
But plugging them both in, now both monitors don’t display anything (with the primary again trying to connect but failing). Or sometimes, I can get the primary working with the secondary being detected (just not displaying anything), then when I set the setting
to ‘extend to both displays’, both monitors go dark.

This is unlike the first time I had this graphics card, where it was only a matter of shuffling the cables around. I have tried that with no success. It’s like, I can no longer have dual monitors. I feel I fucked up when I had both monitors attached during the install of
10, and don’t think another try is going to undo it. This is the first time I installed 10 with this card, so it could also be something I’m not seeing (or an update from Windows I haven’t gotten yet).

EDIT: I ‘fixed’ it by having both monitors in their HDMI ports, but by doing so.. I can’t use WMR. Something is wrong with the DisplayPort slots on the graphics card (all the sudden). All I can hope for is the HDMI to DP adapter to work for WMR.
—
EDIT2: I don’t know what the FUCK I did, but I got everything working!! So I tried to do the above, and MR Portal kept saying ‘check your display cable’. Clearly it has to be a direct connection to an HDMI port. Unplugged it and plugged in the primary, this time the secondary wasn’t freaking out. I pushed the DisplayPort adapter further in and heard a loud bang sound or something, and saw the primary turn on!

…Don’t. fucking. tell me that all of this time I’ve been trying to troubleshoot this damn thing, I. didn’t. have. the plug, all the way in. Oh my god, such a rookie mistake!! Though I think it was also because Windows remembered the settings for my multi-monitor
display. But this is good to know the next time I need to reinstall Windows (and I still have this card).
Anyway, I plugged the HDMI cable of my headset in the now free port, and it wants me to pair the controllers. This is a good sign there’s nothing wrong with the headset.
I can only pray all of that hell, was worth it (and the problem with my headset disconnecting itself from my computer) will be in the rear view mirror.
—
EDIT3: …Fucking HELL, not even a reinstall of Windows will fix it!! It happened again from just chilling out with Frost and friends. I’m nearly convinced that it’s now a hardware issue with either the graphics card, or the motherboard.
However, there’s one thing that didn’t happen, and that’s the sudden spazzing of both the headset and the controllers. That’s not to say it won’t happen eventually, but the fact it didn’t happen shows it fixed one thing.. just not the main thing.
I have switched cables to put the headset’s USB 3.0 cable down at the bottom  the so-called ‘Gen 2’ of USB 3.1), where it should be at the highest priority. If it happens again, I don’t know what the fuck to do at this point, as I’ve tried everything (that doesn’t cost money I don’t currently have).
Fortunate enough to get both of my monitors to work together again. Thought for sure the primary was dead, and I would be stuck with only one monitor for months. Thank God that wasn’t the case!
——————-
Broken promises (Turns out I’m not like Wufy afterall..)
Since I’m having these issues, I used Discord on my phone in order to ask anyone I could think of if they know what’s going on. Kovo however, asked me if I’m there and then starts posting some stuff. It took awhile until I realized it was a conversation with him and
Frost… something happened between him and Wufy.
Asking Frost myself.. it seems Wufy lied about being committed to the relationship (to change his life). Fuck. What a time to be having this issue, when I could be in-game giving Frost a huge hug. But, I gave him a hug on Discord.
Now there’s confirmed reports that Wufy deleted his Discord account. I can only assume he now knows what he just threw away; a chance to be happy for the rest of his life. Though he did say he was strongly considering on removing everything online and starting over. If this is what he wants, I wish him luck. In ways I’m glad he’s putting his mind to
it (more than I would do).. guess that means I’m actually not like him afterall. I’m not willing to go through something that drastic (though his reasoning for change is he doesn’t want to hurt anyone else).

Posted in Computing, Drama, Personal | Comments Off on A Windows reinstall with real problems / Broken promises

“Is suicide an option?”, dealing with pressure and stress

Posted on 05-24-2019 by Benie

I feel so fucking stressed right now, that I wish suicide wasn’t (physically) painful. I don’t care of the mental side, only that my parents would know they.. caused this (yet I also caused it at the same time).
*tries to relax with music* At least this Sunday’s the Indy 500! Always something to look forward to, to make myself proud to be a Hoosier.
–
So, there are multiple things going through my mind, from if Nigh truly does love me, to my father going under the knife next week to remove that troubled kidney. I also (in my own way), had to convince Wufy not to leave Lone (using my own pain of dealing with Wuffer as a reference).
Also, I think I finally know why Wuffer won’t tell me the truth– he doesn’t have to, as I already know it (and where I fucked up). It was Lone that indirectly woke me up to this. And on top of all of THIS shit, the issue with my VR headset disconnecting (in VRChat) is still happening, and I’m (again) considering on reinstalling Windows. Jusper feels I should.
Right.. time to get started. First, the most pressing matter; my parents.

As said, my father’s going under the knife this coming Tuesday (the 28th). He’ll be in the hospital for three days (before and after surgery), and then bedridden for five days after that. Oof.
So, mother wants me to get Uber and get them up to the hospital. But it isn’t going to end there, as she also wants me to get them to take her up there and back home every
day (those three days). I will do what I can for her, but I cannot guarantee this will
work (as I only used Uber once in my life, and that was a mistake). Need to use it more often (which I likely will if this surgery makes father unable to drive for the rest of his
life) to get used to it.
But in the back of my mind, I can almost hear my parents nagging at me with “this is all your fault! Why couldn’t you had gotten your license when you had the chance?!” This has been causing most of my stress, especially when WildBoy (the guy that lives near me) said he got his permit and “it really isn’t that hard”. Good for you. 😛 It wasn’t for me when I was in my 30’s. Back then, I had something that encouraged me to try. Feeling forced doesn’t encourage me. *sighs deeply* I want it to come naturally, yet I just don’t see it right now (or in the future). But, I can’t predict the future. Maybe I might get lucky and get my permit (and this time KEEP the damn thing).. who knows.
–
And speaking of driving, I learned (during drama between Wufy and Lone), that Wufy is like me even more. Except, he never once got a permit (and considered me lucky that I even had one). He also told me a story of his mother having a permit, saying she used to drive and then stopped; that either she got into an accident, or she (like me) has been scarred for life of almost having one.
So, Wufy’s literally in the same boat as me. Except, he also isn’t. For he has some condition where his mindset changes every day (and he doesn’t know why). Possibly an advanced case of Bipolar Disorder; happy one day, sad and depressed the other. I feel I too should be diagnosed with this, but his case isn’t like mine. He doesn’t know what to do with his
life, yet I do (I just ‘choose’ not to).
He loves Lone, but there are certain days, his brain goes neutral and feels.. nothing for anyone — wanting to avoid everyone — and not knowing how to express himself as there’s nothing to express. He doesn’t mean to do this.. it just happens (according to him). But deep down inside (when no-one but myself and Lone was there), he finally opened up and said “I want an IRL relationship. I don’t want to love an avatar anymore!!”, which reminded me of Wuffer. It’s like all of his emotions came rushing out at once, and this is good. But it’s not good of the way he said it, as he wants to rush it.
…This is where it hit me with it came to Wuffer, when I told him about my father… I was trying to rush it, but it was an accident. I didn’t know at the time I was rushing it, for him to take care of me. I was only being honest, and I guess it turned him off and he used
my “go find someone else” as a playing card to get out of the relationship.
I still want him to tell me, though.
–
Also, Wufy said “I want my life to change.” He said it isn’t just relationships he does
this, but also IRL (and wants to change it). Okay, if I was in the same situation as Wufy, I would. Because I would know, I would have someone that was willing to love me despite all of my faults and failures, who is willing to do anything s/he could (just so we can be happy (IRL)).
I was willing to do that for Wuffer, which makes me question (again).. if he truly did love me. I looked at Lone and said to him “god damn I wish you were Wuffer. Because if you were, I would still have him.” Yet the only reason Lone’s like this, is because he doesn’t want to be hurt like he was in the past. He’s willing to change and do anything for Wufy.
Wuffer… clearly wasn’t (though he claimed he would). He wouldn’t communicate with me enough, and I just wanted Wufy not to make the same mistake.
And I feel my words finally got to him, because he saw a lot of himself in me. He even thanked me, and I stood there quite happy (yet also a bit jealous) for them, and gave both of them a big hug. I hope this starts a new chapter in their relationship, with Wufy no longer being quiet (and actually being communicative with Lone).
Today, Lone sent me a DM thanking me for my words (and being there). And I told him that I would do it again if given the chance, because Wufy and myself are alike (and so, he can relate to me).
—
Now that that’s over, I need to deal with my own relationship with Nighwolf, and why I feel he too is ‘not communicating enough’. Though I completely understand that he’s super busy with his life and helping people with their models, I would like to see more communication from him. Started really good, but then it began dying off to where he only sometimes joins just to see me (and yesterday I actually had to join the world he was
in).
I want him to tell me what’s on his mind, but he won’t. And half of me wants to feel, it’s not the fact he doesn’t love me.. he’s just too busy to show it. But the other half feels “is he truly happy with me, or only doing it just to make me happy?”
Look, even if he decides to say “this isn’t going to work sorry”, I still want him to be around as a ‘cuddle buddy’ (to help me with my stress). And he even mentioned this once while I was watching him play a game, about “everybody needs a cuddle buddy”.
Another factor in play, is he once told me how he has a career and stuff, and acted like he didn’t really ‘need’ me anymore (which is kind of cold to say). ..Eventually I’m going to have to go up to him, stare him in the eyes and say “do you love me, more than a
friend?”
EDIT: And it’s over. I asked him in Discord, and his reasoning is he “doesn’t date guys”. He thinks I’m mad, but I’m not. A bit upset, yes, but I’ll get over it. He said I’m really sweet and just wants to stay as friends, and I told him I’m quite OK with that.
—
Switching gears again, goes of talking to Jusper (after my headset disconnects a 3rd time). Sneaky was there (but semi-AFK and also sleepy), and I mainly wanted to ask Sneaky if things have been going better with him and Wuffer. Jusper answered for him, saying that it’s been the opposite. Aww. Poor guy. Wuffer doesn’t deserve a lover, he deserves a baseball bat to the head to think of his actions, and the people he’s hurting.
Told Jusper about how Wuffer and I (briefly) got back together, and all he said
was “Wuffer sounds like scum.” and reminding me why he doesn’t do online relationships. Said that he is very right, and I’ve been trying to do what he does. But with a slight
broken heart that yearns to be filled, it’s hard (and he understands this). Hell, I want him to teach me his ways of how he manages to have virtual sex with so many (and have no desire to want a relationship).
…Does he find them, or do they find him? How do they know there would be nothing more than a one night stand? I need to know all of this. I feel this should be my answer; not staying committed to anyone (no matter how much it hurts), and them being OK with it.
—-
Final gear switch, it’s now been a week since I upgraded my hardware.. which means, I should focus on getting mother up and running. But the issues I’m having with
VRChat (and my agreement of me checking her balance using my computer), this will likely be delayed (mainly until I know father doesn’t have to go through hell anymore).

As I’m talking to Jusper, the spazzing thing with my controllers happens again. He comments “I’ve never seen Windows Mixed Reality do that”. Told him I’ve been having this issue since I upgraded my hardware, and he says “you should reinstall Windows.” He also questions if I upgraded from 7, and I said “Yes, but many years ago.” Yet he didn’t hear this and I had to say “Jusper, I upgraded from 7, years ago. Way, way way way before I got VR!” Finally he understood and said “yeah, if I were you, I would reinstall Windows. Even when 10 allowed you to use your computer normally, I would still do it.”
Then he asked me “did you upgrade your motherboard?” answered “yeah, and I had to buy a new key.” He said “mmhmm, that’ll do it. Hardware changes are known to cause issues.”
I thanked him and said “yeah, I’m definitely considering on reinstalling”, adding on that I know I can burn the ISO of Windows 10 on a USB thumb drive. He said “you should have no problem then” and wished me luck in a hopeful fix.

.
And so, that’s about it; everything going through my mind in a nutshell.
..Oh wait, I forgot something else. Heol (long-term fans from ‘beniesbuilds.com’ probably remember, he’s one of my friends from WoW), plays VRChat!!
I was with blueberry last night, and this guy comes up to me and asks “are you Benie?” I look up at his nameplate and my jaw drops, and I’m all “wait.. HEOL?! Holy FUCK!! I haven’t seen you in AGES!” So yeah! That is awesome.

Posted in Computing, Drama, Personal | Comments Off on “Is suicide an option?”, dealing with pressure and stress

AMD, you nearly fucked my computer up (RE: Issue fixing)

Posted on 05-23-2019 by Benie

Started last night in a desperate attempt to fix an unending enemy that keeps fucking with me and my VR experience (and is currently unknown if it’s fixed.. or can be fixed), to a desperate attempt of fixing a thing Zagro did to update my chipset drivers.
–
Was with friends yesterday (the same world I was in when Zagro showed up). He showed up again when I was with Nigh, came up to me and started asking a very strange question of my sona’s primary and secondary colors. Thought this was a sign he was actually considering of doing what I asked him a few weeks ago (to do what Erodac did for my sona), but it was only because he’s partially colorblind and didn’t really recognize me.
He then told me to use TeamViewer for him to help me with the issue with my VR
headset. Myself and a few others told him about Parsec and how it’s safer, but Zagro with a quite legitimate fear that someone would screw him over, I told him I would get everything set up (after Nigh left to go do something).
Left VRChat and joined Zagro in a DM to do the thing. First I told him something I noticed after the issue happening (that one of the HID’s(Human Interface Devices.. aka keyboard mouse etc) showing a caution symbol on it. So we tried to update BIOS, which was ‘fun’. He told me to use a USB stick to burn the update onto it, so I did, then went into BIOS using my phone for him to see what I’m doing.
Going into ‘flash mode’, it refused to detect the stick (yet detected my external drive). So I moved the files over to it, and was able to install the update successfully.

After that, he felt I should also update the chipset drivers. Except the way to do it, was extremely weird; it wanted me to update my graphics card drivers.
Image result for Confused screaming meme
Zagro was confused about this too, but with no other (clear) option to only update the chipset drivers, he decided to go with it. Everything seemed OK with the installation, until it got done and I noticed the icons were still messed up (even though it claimed the installation was completed). In other words, the icons typically on my secondary
monitor, get ‘pushed’ back into place (after updating the drivers).. instead, the secondary was mirroring the primary. After having to argue with Zagro that I know wtf I’m talking about, he felt TeamViewer could be causing it. Some time later, the monitors re-adjusted themselves automatically. Odd.
After that, Zagro (and I don’t know how in the hell he didn’t notice this sooner), claimed the BIOS update finally showed the correct USB port names. Could had sworn it was showing them with the old version, but he swears up and down they weren’t showing up for him. Huh.. whatever. And since he felt doubt, he started adjusting the ports to what he said he would do.
–
Then we went in VRChat. Some of my friends are playing Never Have I Ever (with others randomly chatting). Everything seemed OK, then the sudden jerk-disconnect thing happened again. Ran up to Zagro and said “it tried happening again!” But he said “I felt it too”.. wait what?! You just had it?? He doubles down on saying it’s when people join and leave or change avatars. Said “why doesn’t it happen all the time then?” He said it depends on the avatar. Basically, to think of it as lag.
So, could the issues I’m having, be related to VRChat? He also reminded me that my graphics card is being used fully, and could hiccup at times. But that would had been it for the night.
Went to bed a bit later than I usually do (as Nigh joined the world and I wanted him to have company)… but not before DJ got a picture of me and Nigh;

Was trying to kiss him and.. well, I missed. 😛 I don’t often know where my snout
is (there’s no visual way to see, other than a mirror and weeks of training of knowing where it is).

Anyway.. when getting ready to go to bed, I noticed Discord glitching out strangely (graphically), as if my graphics card was still hot (yet it was idling at 35*C). But what really was freaking me out was apparently there’s now an issue with my keyboard (letters are missing).
But I went to bed.
———-
Today came, booted up and still saw the strange glitching. Okay, I think something bad happened from trying to install those ‘chipset’ drivers. Because this looks slightly similar to the graphical glitches I had many years ago (before getting the 750Ti). And all of those issues were from not doing a clean install of the drivers.. yet the thing is, I did do a clean install with this! So what the HELL?!
Tried using the latest drivers, and it claimed I had the latest installed. I tried to do a clean uninstall, and claimed it couldn’t find any drivers. WTF?! My other option was to download and install the drivers.. I already have downloaded. And I didn’t have a clean install option with this.
Did some searching and found this ‘ATI Cleanup Utility’, designed to clean out corrupted drivers. It’ll even go into Safe Mode to do it, and create a restore point if something goes wrong. Seeing how this was my best option to avoid possible damage to the graphics
card, I used it and it worked.. not sure how well, but afterwards I installed the latest drivers and haven’t seen the graphics glitches since.
Computer’s been behaving better too, namely launching MR Portal. No longer a black screen when initializing it, so that’s good.

.
Before I (hopefully) close this post, a friend asked me why I mostly play VRChat. Told him how I stick with one game ’till I get bored enough, then said how I “want to get into Beat Saber” but saying how it got updated and broke everything. DJ heard this and said he knows of a working mod manager, then sent me three links to get started (each one is its own mod manager). So, I should do this and get myself back into that game. This way I can see if the issue happens in other VR games.

EDIT: Played Beat Saber for just over a half an hour. My arms feel like noodles and I was sweating hard, but the game (and my computer) were pretty stable. Only one time did it seem it was going to disconnect me (which was after accepting the health warning) and loading all the songs downloaded, and it was smooth as butter after that.
This proves the disconnecting and the weird behavior is because of VRChat, also proving Zagro was right; certain avatars loading in and out, having a chance of causing an ‘overload’ in graphics processing.
It means, the game (at times) is asking too much from the GPU. So now that I know, this is something I’m just going to have to deal with until I manage to start saving again and try to get a faster graphics card that hopefully won’t do it. Zagro though says there are a few things I could do to mitigate the issue from happening as frequently (probably lowering the resolution in both lenses to make it look like shit).

Posted in Computing, Personal | Comments Off on AMD, you nearly fucked my computer up (RE: Issue fixing)

Nighwolf15 and I are (online) dating now / The issue persists…

Posted on 05-21-2019 by Benie

Nighwolf15 and I are (online) dating now
First off, new news of me and Nighwolf15. Except, there is one stipulation that I agreed to.
So yeah, it’s official; I have a new online BF. Though it almost wasn’t. What I mean is he’s bi, but like me IRL. And I’m glad he feels like I do, of being somewhat weirded out of dating a guy IRL. Wuffer, I had to and I told him this, that he’s looking for an IRL relationship instead of an online one.
So the stipulation before he decided to be my online BF, is if he meets someone that is more his age (he’s 20) and really likes, he’ll tell me in advance he’s found someone and just wants to be friends with me, and I have to agree to this. And, I do agree. He also says the same thing for me (which is more unlikely than him finding someone), that I let him know in advance.
The reasoning behind this stipulation, is telling him how Wuffer keeps important things from me until it’s too late. and he wants to make up for that. Really appreciate it.
Hopefully this thing will last for a week, or two, or even a month. But like I said, I have to be willing to just be friends if he finds someone else. I’m glad he’s telling me this now instead of later on.

EDIT: I’m now having second thoughts if this was a good idea. Not only is he not fully
bi (never dated a guy before (even dating one online) and is “kind of weirded out”), but something I never would had thought I had to ask.. or maybe I should had and completely forgot to; if he’s into a closed or an open relationship. Since he had a GF, I assumed he would be into a closed one. But I discovered the opposite in a private world.
I can understand why he was in one and didn’t invite me to it, as he was waiting for a clan mate who plays VRChat to join him. But at the time, I didn’t really understand. And after two failed attempts to join (blaming VRChat’s servers on this), I finally joined.. the world Wuffer and I dated in.
When I told him the memories I’ve had with this world, he said “well Wuffer fucked
up”.. hmm. Never thought of it that way. But did he really? *sigh* Anyway, a friend of his joined in, who saw me and was quite surprised (and actually seemed angered) that he found an online BF. Uhh.. Nigh, why didn’t you tell me you were dating someone else? I wanted to ask him that, but not infront of this guy. Then Nigh looks at him and says “do you love me?” He says “I love your avatar”, and Nigh says that he was hoping he would love him IRL too, and I thought for sure it was over between them.
–
Then some time later, the guy asked me if I would be “interested in a threesome”..

I’m not into that!! The guy approached me, asking “do you even know what a threesome is? Two wolves with a dragon in the middle.”

And this is when Nigh told me he’s into an open relationship. …Why didn’t you TELL me this sooner?! Of course he would just say “you never asked”.
I stood there stunned at the guy while petting Nigh as the two kept talking about how cute the guy is and if I was interested and stuff, and Nigh even said if this isn’t going to work out to let him know. And.. I should, even explaining the reasoning why I prefer a closed relationship.
At least, I feel I should. Half of me wants to, but the other half wishes this could work (and keeps canceling out the feeling I should tell him). Plus, even as friends, he wants me to keep hugging him and stuff. ..How? The only reason I’m even playing the game more is because of him. Still bored with VRChat otherwise. Socializing just isn’t my thing, having fun in the expense of others (aka Kovo), is.
But before I do, I got to know if he was serious about the open relationship thing. Because this and how he never dated guys, seems to conflict with eachother.

EDIT2: Turns out Nigh was both confused and joking, and I assumed right about him being in a closed relationship. He only met the guy two days ago, and the guy loves Nigh’s avatar so much that he wanted a wolf avatar too.
So that’s the story. Just to clarify, this has nothing to do with jealousy (though I could definitely sense it in that guy), only to see if Nigh was actually being serious about being in an open relationship.
—————————-
The issue persists…
With him hopping off to go play with his clan mates, I went hopping to see my other friends. FoxGrace was having some IRL drama in his life to deal with, and a few other friends showed up.
Then.. whammo; the fucking disconnect issue is back (and same as before). What’s weird is the chance for it to happen increases when I’m moving around (especially when spinning around).
I knew it wasn’t a driver issue. I may have no choice but to reinstall Windows (as it’s the only thing I have yet to try.. and it’s the last hope to fixing the issue).
And if a reinstall doesn’t fix it, it’s literally something I’m going to have to deal with
then (just like the ‘having to restart for the headset to be detected’ thing with the old hardware). Except this time, a restart isn’t going to prevent it.

EDIT: Nigh actually was up later than I’ve seen him, and stayed with him as long as I could in a Friends+ world (with my other friends). Zagro just so happens to pop in, and asked me how I like the new hardware. Said it was awesome.. except for one major issue I’m having with my headset.
After leaving Nigh to tell Zagro the full details of what happens (and telling him the graphics card I had), said he’s heard rumors of the latest driver update from ATI
having ‘issues with VR’, and suggested I try downgrading to the previous version. He also suggests looking in Device Manager and change the host controller that powers the ‘VR Ready’ port to something else, claiming he had issues just trying to get into VRChat with VR.
Asked him if he could walk me through this process at a later time, and he said sure. So hopefully with Zagro helping me, I would not only fix the issue, but prevent having to reinstall Windows.
Also, when I asked if the GPU being pegged at 100% usage could be contributing to the issue, he doesn’t believe so. All he says is that I’m now GPU bottlenecked (instead of CPU bottlenecked in the past), and might want to get a better graphics card in the future. So that’s comforting to know.

Posted in Computing, Personal | Comments Off on Nighwolf15 and I are (online) dating now / The issue persists…