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Benies-Blogs.com denounces the Uvalde, TX shootings
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I really NEED to bring this up, with this whole mess with Jero and how I feel about
him, my mind has sadly overshadowed the horrific tragedy in Uvalde, TX. But no more. Now I must talk about this. ..Where 19 innocent children and two teachers were gunned down in Robb Elementary School.
I read about this on Twitter when I was writing my script, and all I could feel was “..ohh god. Those poor people!! ..They were BABIES!! And now they will never be able to become what they want to be!”
And the surviving children.. what happened will forever be burned into their minds. They don’t fucking DESERVE THAT!!! Schools are SUPPOSED TO BE SAFE!!! ..WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?!?! And WHY in the fuck aren’t our Senators DOING ANYTHING ABOUT IT?!?!
This senseless killing of babies and young people needs to stop.. NOW!! Gun control needs to happen NOW!! ..Not until more innocent lives are destroyed by bullets!
We need to demand change, or demand their resignations if they’re not willing to do the fucking jobs they AGREED to do! They need to be held accountable!
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Talking with TJ’s BF (for once)
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3 weeks ago when life wasn’t an absolute fuckfest for me (and a small town in Texas), TJ had changed their nickname to ”benie’s good girl” Now I’ve addressed this before and I just want to add to it.
A few days passed since telling everyone there about the whole Jero situation. TJ thankfully left me alone to my thoughts. But Kovo wasn’t aware of this. After messaging me info of Destiny 2’s changes to their crafting system (which at this point I have completely lost interest in the game, but I digress), he also showed me TJ has yet changed her nickname again to ”benie’s good puppy girl”, I said “Her idea. Not mine. I just go with it.”
He surprised me when he said “not a bad thing adorable” “Lady man” “Lol”. I guess you’re no longer going to care what TJ does anymore? ..*shrug* But I wasn’t happy with it by saying “And apparently her BF is ok with this.” I was trying to say this in a “I don’t believe her” way, but he said “I guess so open relationship”.
I kept on, with “Personally that’s not really how open relationships work. You can’t
really ‘claim’ another unless it’s a poly. But, that’s just me.” And all he said was “She to cuddle with you”. About a minute later, TJ messages me. I say to Kovo “And there she is.”
He says “there you have fun tonight”, “I think you need this”.
I tried to say “I already had fun a few days ago”, but I didn’t have the time to before he posts info of another VRChat update (the IK 2.0 one).
A little later I did go on a small rant about how TJ “won’t replace him(Jero). Noone
will”, but also how it “doesn’t feel right” for TJ to be using that nickname. “It’s sweet what she’s doing, but it feels.. wrong. Should be the ‘puppy girl’ to her BF only. Not me.”
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Telling TJ just didn’t feel like the right thing to do, as I’ve tried this before and kept forgetting to not tell me things like “love” and “I’m Benie’s X”. I have to confront
her BF about this. But the last time I confronted someone’s BF in this way.. was Chris when it came to Jero. I was scared I would get a similar response to “stay the fuck away from him”, which is why I’ve been avoiding this for weeks, months even.
But now, when I feel at my lowest point.. I feel I have nothing left to lose. So I swallowed what dignity I had left in me and started typing in a professional way. After I was
finished, I sighed and hit Enter.. praying he won’t instakill me.
And the guy responded back in a professional way.. but one that tends to forget how commas and periods work. Now I see where TJ gets it from.
Overall he told me not to worry, and what TJ is doing is “a joke”. She still sees him as his. So that’s good. This is also what TJ herself would say, but I wanted to hear this from
her BF directly for my brain to stop overreacting, that it’s OK. And now I have the proof I wanted.
He adds on to say that she only ERPs with people she’s comfortable with. Just like me it seems. Feeling a bit better after finally getting the answers my mind wants, he wanted to be my friend and I accepted, and said he can add me in VRChat.
And then I told him “TJ really did hide the whole ‘having a BF’ thing for the longest
time. Of course this lead to a lot of.. questionable moments (especially between TJ and Kovo). But hopefully all is OK with that now. I do trust TJ of making the right
decisions. Kovo.. didn’t really though (which caused me to also feel the same). Which, lead me to my original discussion with you.”
He understood the situation completely, saying he too “made some bad decisions involving me and TJ. It really had an impact on us but we always try to work it out.”
And then he said that surprised me: “I do have to say I question our open part of our relationship sometimes.”
…Oh? Do tell. Of course I was a lot more considerate than to just say that, I assumed it was him backing Kovo’s claim where he(Kovo) had told me to “be careful”. But it
wasn’t TJ messing up and causing jealousy to happen. He has concerns TJ’s being forced to ERP with certain people. ..I really don’t see why THIS would kill the relationship. This wouldn’t be TJ’s fault if it happened! Why in the hell would this be a factor at all?!
However I never looked at this like that. There’s just no way this would even be considered a reason to break up with her.
It’s more likely the obvious that can destroy an open relationship. And that, is no longer joking around about being someone else’s ‘good puppy girl’. It’s something I’m going to have to keep monitoring when it comes to TJ. If she one day decides to say after
asking if she still loves her BF “I love you, not my BF”, I’ll be forced to tell him. I won’t care how “sorry” she claims to be, I’ll be doing the right thing and stopping a cheater.
…But I doubt that’ll ever happen. 🙂 I’ve spoken to her way too many times and feel zero chance she’ll do this to her BF (unlike Kovo who’d feel she might, knowing him).
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Script finally ready.. time to pick a day we can both do this
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I lost count on the times I’ve added/removed and rewrote this script I’ll be using in my video to Jero. But I’m keeping the intro intact and the part where I explain how he isn’t looking for an apology and how he just wants me to forget about him (if it does actually come to that).
But everytime I go over this script, I keep feeling… why doesn’t he just try to refriend me and we can explain this like adults, without needing this stupid video? And I think it could be similar to what happened between the second time we broke up and when I discovered Mibit talking to Jero (and realizing he never blocked me). It might be possible he hasn’t blocked me(again).
So maybe we should change the plan. Have Mibit bring him into a private world, wait some time and be all “oh a friend of mine wants to join”. He’ll see his reaction to it. If it’s cool then I’ll join, and then make my way over to them.
When he sees me, either he’ll be pissed at Mibit then leave, just leave, or the best outcome of him wanting to either hear me out or want to apologize as well.
I mean if he’s going to block Mibit for trying to help me, he’ll do it right then and there. This is better to know if he chooses to be an asshole now, than feel he has with the video ignored completely.
Now I was going to do the video yesterday, but bad weather has skipped that plan. And today (Friday) is another day for bad weather. If Mibit decides he’d rather go back to the video idea and thinks it’ll work, it can be done Saturday.
Problem is, I haven’t sent Mibit my script. And if he dislikes it… I can’t ask him to “do it yourself” (as the words wouldn’t feel genuine to me). I’ll just tell him “screw the video then”.