It was 4:30 in the morning when I tried to think of a title for this rather special blog
post, of …well, I guess going against my own morals in favor of my friends. Was quite tired and almost fell out of my chair.
Anyway, here’s all of the potential titles I was thinking of using;
“I just can’t fight this feeling anymooorrrrre! ..I forgot what I was fighting fooorrrrrrr!!”
And.. that’s it. I don’t remember the other ones as I was tired.
So what happened. I was telling Kovo how I was planning to come visit Jero and surprise him… but also not enjoying it. He offered me to come on Chillout instead. I went in with just my headset and hands (standard VR). Because no offense ABI Devs, but FBT calibration is a pain in the ass right now.
I assumed Nova was going to join us in Chillout, but she “wasn’t feeling good” according to him and was playing another game. Huh, this is rare to see you actually play another game than be with Nova. But Kovo was curious on what has been going on with Chillout, if there’s any new worlds. Never knew what his true intention was.
Visited the CVR port of Luminescent Ledge. Have to say, perfect 1:1 port from VRChat. Everything that is supposed to work, works. Also I saw one of the CVR modders
there, chilling. Was feeling bored (as usual) when Jusper joins us. He asks us if we would like to help him test a world, and I felt “we have nothing else to do, so sure”. He’s working on a Deathrun map, trying to get the first trap to sync properly with late-joiners but was never able to get it working right.
Kovo wanted to show off a prop he made but he couldn’t spawn it there. So Jusper took us to a world he ported in; the SteamVR Setup world thingy (where you set your playspace or place your headset on the floor to calibrate (for room scale or standing play)). So the prop that Kovo wanted to show off was invisible to us. It’s a chair that when you sit on it, you’ll start dancing. Basically, the makings of an MMD world. The music is local instead of global, and it clearly does not work for VR users.
Jusper then looks at me and asks “so, have you truly lost all the files to Furry Village?” I said “no. I still have the files from VRChat. I removed the ported version I had for Chillout.” He understood the hell I would be going through to re-port it all over again and offered to do it for me, which I gladly agreed.
–
At this time I see Jero on VRChat and debated if I should just leave and ‘fight my demons’. It wasn’t until the second time we went to Luminescent Ledge when I really felt I had to go. When I saw Kovo leave the world without me, I assumed he left to go do something else. Hopped off, put my head down… and installed VRChat. I kept telling myself
I’m “doing this for my friends”. When the game was installed I launched it. EAC ‘wanted to make changes’ on my computer. For some odd (but cool) reason, clicking ‘No’ still launches the game. Huh. Did I just say “fuck you” to EAC installing itself on my computer? I hope I did. 😆
I kept getting pinged. Assuming it was Kovo, but I didn’t want to see it right now. All I wanted to do was joi– aaaaaaand he’s on Ask Me. Typical Jero. I felt I’ll never be able to see him. Sent him a few invites. I was also surprised I was.. back in here after everything that’s happened. My account didn’t get perma’d. I felt OK with the fact I was forced to remove all those mods I used. All I wanted to do was see Jero, and confront him
for this… this whatever it is that’s been eating at me.
Then I noticed him switching from Ask Me to Online, allowing me to join him. I kept my head down in shame, still couldn’t believe I was doing this. The world was the one with
the blanket fort (that you needed a small avatar or a working Playspace Mover).
Went down the stairs to it, where I bumped into Jero. I slightly waved, saying “hi” and “I’m here, for you. Are you surprised?” He was, but he wasn’t ready for what else I had to say when I leaned up and ‘fired off both barrels’ at him, saying I don’t enjoy having to come here just to see you. But as he talked, I felt my mind starting to finally relax after a month of feeling stressed. It felt great to finally confront him, to express myself.
Said he wasn’t trying to guilt trip me in coming back, and he’s sorry for making me feel this. “I completely understand you don’t want to come back on VRChat. But I just can’t come to Chillout” he said. The reason being was the UI. Said he just can’t be forced to learn it, and I told him I understand that.
He then gives me a proposition in coming on Chillout more often: get an Angel Dragon of his colors into Chillout, and about he “hates Unity”. I put my hands on his shoulders and said “hun, remember, I still have access to your VictonRoy model and textures. I can do it no problem.” He said his usual “thanks Benie”.
After that I no longer felt stressed. I felt happy. Checked my phone and.. saw what Kovo was messaging me. He came on Chillout so I wouldn’t be lonely. Wow, do I feel like an
ass. But he was happy for me that I was able to see my friends again.
Plus I got to see a few friends while I was there: Kat/Breezy/Blender/Novice/and Scooby. This was great. I felt quite silly I let my morals take over the way they did.
Oh, and I asked if VRChat removed movie worlds… apparently they didn’t.
Perhaps, maybe we were all wrong about this being a ‘corporate takeover’? Or their investors haven’t paid them enough to crack down on these. Still, interesting. Very interesting.
Finally I talked with Scooby, who isn’t bothered (at all) over EAC and stuff. He feels the mod devs were “too secretive”, which is why there was never a push to make them part
of VRChat. He also feels Tupper does care for the community, and he was trying to make up for the banning of legit mods (even though he claimed said mods “complicate the support and development of VRChat”).
I also find it interesting that Scooby does not believe in the whole ‘investors come first’ thing. Huh.
…Though will we ever know the true reason why they did what they did? Likely not, as
the VRChat dev team aren’t known for being transparent with their playerbase (what happened that day, proves it). And most people are done speculating on it and have learned to accept… but I’m not one of them.
Finally, his reasoning why he wants to stay in VRChat is the UI. “Everything is already set up for me” he says. Fair enough, man. Fair enough.
So, does this mean I’m going to come on VRChat more often? No. Once a week, is as far as I’m going to go. Maybe once every two weeks. Or once a month. It all depends on how I feel and if Jero is playing. But I’m so glad I was able to get all of this stress I’ve been feeling for over a month, off my chest. I’m glad, I don’t have to worry about “ugh I’m not there for my friends! They’re going to leave me!!” No. True friends won’t leave you over something like this. And I have a lot of them.
Still focused on Chillout though. That is my home now. And hopefully Jero is actually true to his word and will come on that platform more often, if I do what he wants.
…I just, I want to see movie worlds come to Chillout. I will likely be active a lot more often if this happens. The game just needs, more to do. More exciting worlds to visit, instead of just constant ‘chill with your friends’ worlds. They get boring FAST (to me).