Last night, was very noteworthy. Since the day I told Raccoongamer about what
happened, Kovo said he was planning to get on Monday and we could watch a movie. Thought “sure, that would help to get my mind off of Jero for awhile”. But I prayed he wasn’t going to use the LS Media world… the world where I saw Jero unfriend me. I figured he instead was going to use one of those chill words that has a movie player, and that would’ve been better.
Monday evening came and it was dinnertime, when Kovo told me he’ll be on “around 7 or 8”.
7 or 8? That’s 8-9pm my time. That’s an hour earlier than I wanted to come on! Still I set an alarm to let me know when to get on my FBT trackers, and went back to eating my dinner.
Just over an hour later (after finishing my dinner and getting back into Planet
Crafter, Kovo said: All right we going to try to get on”. And I’m all “Now?! But you said ‘7 or 8’.” “Well I want to see everything working or not,” his reason was for doing it even earlier than he said. Ok, fair enough. Kept playing my game and waiting a bit, then asked him “So.. you good now?” He said “maybe”. And I took this as an answer to get on ASAP.
And so I did.
–
Kovo and Nova were in private worlds, for some reason. Guess they were deciding on a world to go to. I finished calibrating my full body and then sent Kovo an invite
request, then sat down and waited. I once again figured, surely they’ll pick a chill world that has a movie player.. one that doesn’t remind me too much of Jero.
Then the invite came in. ..No. NO!! It was LS Media! I sighed, trying to calm myself down. “Ok, ok. Just.. relax. Try not to make a scene. You’re only there, for them.” And I went in. Soon as I entered the outside lobby, I lowered my head down and sighed, once again feeling “why… why LS Media of all worlds must you do this?!?! The very world.. Jero brought me to.”
I heard voices ahead of me: Kovo. Mibit. and Nova. They sounded like they were in the bedroom viewing area, so I thought I’d just slip by undetected. I went in, and then realized they were at the main cinema area. Mibit sees me and I back away, trying to hide in the bedroom viewing area. I hear Kovo asking Mibit if I’m actually here and Mibit saying “I saw Benie”.
Damnit. I knew any second they were going to come around the corner looking for me. Thought of trying to B-line it to the upstairs area where they won’t see me, and.. somehow it worked?! They never came up. They were too busy watching the movie. Phew. That was close. I did see the movie they were watching… and the painful memory I had
seeing ‘jeromeah is no longer your friend’. show up on my screen. I kept myself
muted, wanting to cry. Then I thought “ok… time to use this project for its intended purpose” and switched to my JeroWorks 3.0 version. Surprisingly, noone complained of lag when I did. Interesting. Maybe I’ll use this more often. I picked the appropriate pose for me laying up on my bed, but sadly the grab point of ‘Lay Down (back)’ seems to be malfunctioning again (it’s rotating 180* and grabbing its origin point). Gonna have to fix that. Debated if I should fix it now, but I can’t exactly do that in VR. Plus I don’t want them seeing me when I walk to my computer. I’m trying to keep a low profile here.
Did find a pose that worked for me, and snuggled it as if Jero was actually there. Except we wouldn’t be looking through angled wooden boards, trying to hide from the others. At least it provided good cover to hide me being up there.
I reached the point.. where I remembered Jero unfriending me. Still had myself muted and sighed very loudly, but then I looked over and saw the Jero doll was still there. “This is the new Jero now” I told myself, and hugged it. Thankfully I didn’t break down and cry as that would be embarrassing.
3/4s into the movie, Kat shows up but thankfully never comes up here. Good. Of all people I’d rather not have.. her see this. And then later on Chibi_Dragon shows up.
He, unfortunately does come up. I kept muted, and just waved when he saw me. I prayed he didn’t see the doll.. but he saw something. He kept moving over to my feet, trying to show me something. Was very confused what he was talking about. If it was the Jero clone, it wouldn’t be there. It’s next to me. And he just kept doing it. I turned to him, thinking he’s talking about my avatar’s feet (like he’s into feet).
Then I hear him say “hold on, hold on” and he does something, and I get a message
in Discord. …I knew he saw the clone by then. I heard him asking “who’s Dutchie?”
Opened up Discord and saw this;
He kept asking me “who Dutchie?”… I didn’t know how to answer him. Started to
panic, going through my menus in order to despawn the clone. Finally did, and then I
said “it’s noone”, hoping he’d buy it and leave me alone. But he said something about “no, still bugged” and then went back downstairs and left the world. I did feel bad I didn’t want to tell him the truth…, but that picture definitely raised a lot of concern.
Since noone’s really bothered by the lag, I wonder if I can make the clones invisible for others (yet still visible to me). I’ve wanted to do this with JeroWorks 2.0, but I was told I’d need SDK 3.0 for it. ..But now that I’m using it for this project, hmmm. Definitely worth checking out again.
He comes back 30 minutes later. Just incase, I do ‘Reset Avatar’ so he won’t see anything amiss. That seemed to had worked. He comes up to me and then gets between my legs (not in that way), then looks at me and says “cute”. Then he heads back down and watches the rest of the movie with them.
–
The movie’s now over. I turn around and then grab my phone, and start typing in what I want to ask the VRChat Discord (as they’re down below trying to figure out what movie they wanna watch). Little did I know.. Kovo was coming up here. As I was texting what I wanted to say on my phone, I heard him asking me if I was OK. Not putting my phone down, I told him “physically yes, mentally.. no”. He said he was sorry for bothering me and left to go back down. I said “no, no you’re fine. I don’t mind you up here” (I was being honest with him).
“Remember what I told you in Telegram, how someone told me I’m ‘selfish’? And how this person was my closest friend.” I asked him. He asked “do I know them?” I said “yes. You know them. Their name starts with ‘J’, but you definitely know them,” I said with my phone still in my hands.
Kovo started going over all the names that start with a ‘J’ that he knows in his head. He first says “Jedi?” I said “nope”. Then I hear him say “Hero?” I paused, and asked him to please repeat that. Then I heard “Jero?”…I slowly nodded. Put down my phone and looked at him, knowing I can better explain this when he sees my body movement.
“Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh… I see what’s going on” he said when I told him how I have ‘racist’ friends. I said “I told Mibit this story”, and I hear him doing his usual “Yaaaahhh”. The others come up to join Kovo and me, gathering around me as I continue to explain the situation.
Kat also was there, and I told her how Jero sees my friends as ‘racist extremists’. And she laughed her head off, saying she sees this hard to believe. “How come Jero hasn’t unfriended me too?” she asks me. Huh.. good question. Kat likes to joke a lot about racist stuff and Jero seemed OK with that.. yet not with Malice and Jelly? Maybe there’s something more to this than just racism. I dunno.
But I tried to explain the entire thing, while Kat left to go get into her VR. I should’ve waited for her to get back but I was in ‘the zone’ (sort of speak). Plus I knew when she did get back, they would just leave to see the other movie.
And that seemed like what was about to happen. But Kat stayed. She saw me upset and asked me if I was OK. I tried repeating myself but as I continued.. I started breaking down and crying. I couldn’t control it any longer. I felt her hug me. I felt, what true friendship was like.
She asked if she wanted me to contact Jero. Then Mibit spoke up and said “I’ve been helping him with it”. I said “I’ll accept any help at this point… I just want to talk to him again.” Kat said “we can go to another world”. I shook my head no, said “no. I’m good.” I heard Nova ask “are you sure?” I nodded, not wanting them to go to another world because of me.
Then Mibit had an idea: myself doing a video apology. Thought about it as he continued to explain it. “Jero might block me but I’m willing to take the risk” he said. I said “no, I don’t want you to jeopardize your friendship with him for me.” But he was willing to do it.. for me. I take back everything I said about him to Jero. He’s alright. He’s willing to sacrifice his friendship with Jero to help me out. That’s honorable, and it did make me feel better.
We watched a movie I watched with Jero, but I kept it to myself. I didn’t want to ‘ruin
it’ for them. Kat was next to me, and I snuggled with her. It felt nice to finally feel love since what happened, knowing what I’ve done wasn’t ‘the end of the world’ for me. That I don’t have to ‘off myself’ because of the way I am.. caused Jero to leave me. Though I don’t know if that was truly the reason, it just makes sense with what Raccoongamer told me.
After the video, I needed to go use the bathroom. When I got back, everyone but Mibit
left.
We talked about how we’re going to plan this out. I need a few days to write the script and perfect it, as this is my only chance. Mibit would be my cameraman and we’d go to a green screen world. I could do this myself easily as I have OBS, but Mibit’s worried it’ll be too taxing on my computer. Once done, he can do the rest and then upload it to Jero. And then he kissed me, maybe to show that if this doesn’t work, he could try to ‘fill in’ for Jero.
That’d be interesting, and probably quite awkward.