Want to start this on currently trying to find Kovo’s Christmas decor for the Christmas Edition, tearing through his project folder which feels like I’m in the attic of my house going through my parents stuff.
With two days until December 1st (counting today), I have to hurry the fuck up as I promised it’ll be ready by then.. but I’ve been putting it off earlier in the month as I was
all “it’s not even Thanksgiving yet! Why should I bother??” I really regret that decision.
Hell, I regret promising there would even be a Christmas Edition. I wanna pull it off but there are.. complications in the form of worrying about making the world too big or it not being optimized.
It likely won’t be ready until December 5th (or later). I will list the reason as to the why when I reach that segment.
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“You’re my first boyfriend” -Novice
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Yesterday it seemed as if Novice wasn’t going to get on at all from his busy work schedule. There’s one thing I’m starting to not like about him.. how inactive he is in Discord (in DMs). Being ‘Online’ yet saying nothing to me, but he’s done this for the longest
time (even when we were just friends) Most of my friends were in a single world, but two of them were reasons I didn’t wanna join– King Chris and his BF Daybreak. Instead I tried visiting everyone else that I
could, yet knowing I seriously NEED to get to work on the Christmas Edition of Kovo’s world. I mainly stayed with Rivers and Yellowjack, hoping Novice would get on so we could snuggle. Rivers went to bed waiting for his BF who never joined him (how rude).
All I had left to join was Lunar, but she left a few minutes after I joined and never came back. At this time I felt “yeah, I really should get to work on that project”.
Taking off my headset and leaving VR, I backed up the project folder. Somehow made a boo-boo and pasted it twice.
–
As I’m fixing that mistake, I look at Discord again and notice he’s in VRChat now. Not a word came from him. Mmm. But still, I’m all “stop everything! He’s on!” and scrambled to get back into VR… but he was in the same world as the others. FUCK!! “Alright, maybe just try to not make eye contact and King Chris won’t notice you.”
Back in VR and now in the world, it was jam packed with people old and new. It took awhile until my computer stopped having a seizure trying to load up everyone’s avatars at the same time (even if they’re not close to me).
Tried to hang out with Novice, but he was quite busy showing his affection to everyone (as he usually does). One time I thought he was trying to motion for me to join him in the back area of the world. Once there he told me that my son was behind me. I.. lied saying “I knew he was. I saw you, son. :)” I did see him join via JoinNotifier, but…. I wasn’t really focused on him.
Novice talked about him being into vore and stuff while Shoot ran off and then left shortly after to, once again be alone. *sigh* Look, I.. I’ll talk about this later on.
—
Moving on, Novice kept talking about things and mentioned how I’m his “first boyfriend”.
I want to say this makes us official now, but I don’t feel fully confident on that. Mainly because we hardly know eachother’s strengths and weaknesses IRL.
The more we know about eachother, the more we’ll be able to work around said weaknesses (one of the three C’s of a healthy relationship). Especially when it comes to me, of how Novice would handle my life.
If this relationship ends with him feeling I’m too much for him to handle.. that will fucking prove right there I have absolutely ZERO reason to be in a relationship (and pretty much answer my question of why Jero left me).
I (somewhat) know Novice’s weaknesses, yet I don’t know why he doesn’t take the time to even say “hi” to me in Discord. I doubt it’s similar to what Jero did, probably just too
busy (even though he’s ‘Online’.. literally as I type this part at this very second, he’s online yet saying nothing to me).
But for as long as I’ve known Illunovice (since the Best Boi era), he’s been such a sweet, innocent, cute boy that wouldn’t hurt a fly (even his friends would agree with that). So I dearly doubt he’s doing this out of malice.
=
But there is something else I’m alarmed to. It seems he’s going under the same ‘relationship V’ I was with Suppy and Jero had just gotten back with me. Though as he tells me I’m the only one that came up and openly told him how I felt about him, another has been giving him “subtle hints” that they’re into him.. and he doesn’t want to break anyone’s heart. Said that even Vale had feelings for him once and he was forced to turn him down, and being thankful it didn’t affect their friendship.
I have somewhat of a bad feeling this might be a ‘Blue VS Cola VS me’ scenario all over again, where Blue was stuck in a relationship V of both me and Cola having feelings for him (and how I wanted to make things easy by having him choose Cola). ..I might be forced to do it again with Novice. Hopefully it never gets to that point.
Right now, I’m going to do my best to suppress those feelings of dread and just focus on being with Novice (while trying to make our bond stronger, so I won’t feel any doubts I may’ve made a mistake by going back on my word).
It was getting close to 4am, the time where he usually has his graveyard shift with me and him cuddling in a private instance. He’s once again falling asleep on my chest. 4am rolls in and I’m all “sweetie, wake up! You gotta go to work!” Nothing, so I tell Alexa to play music and crank up the sound. Still nothing. I keep trying other music types, still nothing.
Lol, where is PolanBall when I need him?? He’s been able to wake Novice up no problem. This feels like Jero when he told me that hugging him makes him sleepy, and he warned me not to do that. Novice might tell me the same, yet he’s the one that does it (when he lays down).. so, lol?
Then Novice starts snoring.
My heart!! Oh my god, my heart. The cuteness is overwhelming. And then he starts spinning like a top on my chest, while snoring due to his controller drift.
I’m dying from laughter at this point as I say “Alexa! Play ‘You Spin Me Right Round!'” She does as Novice keeps spinning around while snoring on my chest, which only makes me laugh harder as the music syncs up perfectly with him.
Two minutes into the song, I hear the sound of someone knocking on a door coming from his mic. I tell Alexa to immediately STFU as I’m pretty sure that’s his father. He wakes up about 30 seconds later, and I tell him “hey hun, yeah.. you really should get to work now”. He reluctantly agreed and we hugged. Told him I loved him and he said the same, and left for his graveyard shift job to deliver food with his father.
Unfortunately I didn’t have time to get to work on the world, as it’s now my mother’s birthday and I promised her we’d go over to Waffle House in the morning. So I needed my rest.
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Ho Ho Fuck you Kovo!
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Turns out my mother told me ‘yesterday’ that I didn’t have to get up early afterall, even though I don’t remember her telling me. So, ain’t THAT a kick in the head? I went to bed early for nothing. 😑
Oh well! I need more sleep anyway, so it’s all good. Got to work on the world
today, dreading it. It wasn’t fun looking for the Halloween stuff, and the Christmas stuff is going to be even tougher. I threw empty shit out of his project folder, trying desperately to look for what he had used last year. All I found was the snow texture, which looks like shit with Unity’s tiling (seriously wish there was a smoothing system plugin for Unity 2018 that would get rid of the ugly lines).
I was also trying to find something that would remove the leaves from the trees (like he had it before). I tried using a skybox and that seemed to be good enough. So with those two taken care of, all I needed to was find the Christmas decor he used.
Looking through every texture in the project, turned up nothing. Looking through every file, nada.. nothing. “KOVO!! WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU PUT YOUR CHRISTMAS DECOR?! REEEE!!!” I said in Telegram to him. I knew he wouldn’t know, because it’s been over a year. I just wanted to mess with him. Heh.
Then it finally hit me. What he sent me was the only backup he had, which was the Halloween update. That means the Christmas update was technically never made. So.. FUCK. That means I have to go on the Unity Asset Store and find it… if it even exists!
–
And.. it does. It’s the only free Christmas pack with a sleigh (which I remembered was a centerpiece in Kovo’s world). I also found this one which had the ‘double snowmen’ bug from last year. And it seems that’s also where he found the snow texture. Interesting.
I also grabbed one more that looked cool at first (especially the multiple-boned garland). I wanted to do something special and use these as actual Christmas lights for the village. However the problems with them outweigh the benefits;
-They only come in one color (no multicolored garland). Yes you can set the color by making dupes of the texture, but having to guess which colors would look good at what parts of a building… not fun, not fun at all. But I can understand it wouldn’t be possible to have it multicolored with how VRChat works.
-When bending them, they have visual clipping issues when looking at them from certain angles (disappearing and reappearing).
Pretty much got rid of it at that point. Doing this, I was able to quickly ‘speed up’ work by just doing what Kovo did last year… and then as I was nearly finished and felt happy with what I did, I did a big boo-boo.
Trying to fix the tiling, I hated how the terrain Kovo used for the village road is blending with the snow. So I wanted to see if removing that terrain would help fix the blending. And it.. did not. All it did was REMOVE the fucking path!! Oh fuck. I undid it hoping the road would instantly pop back in like I did nothing… it wasn’t. FUUUU–!!
I felt too lazy to not save in order to fix this, so I tried redrawing the path as close as Kovo had it. A sloppy job with a non-steady hand, but I felt I had it. Yet I knew if I had saved it like this, people would question “what happened to the terrain, Benie?” And I would be
all..
 !
“It’s.. just a fluke that happened with the world! 🤠I totally didn’t accidentally delete something and had to hand-redraw the terrain for the village!! 😅” But.. I can’t do
that (not when I have a perfectly working backup). So, restore the backup and the terrain will be fixed. And sure enough that’s what happened. Just need to recreate what I did. It’ll be quick and I’ll have it done in a day.
The only thing that’ll likely take the most time is going to be throwing all the music from Duke Nukem Nuclear Winter into a single .mp3 file (as the Christmas Edition music… and hope to god people’s computers don’t choke from it trying to load).
I got the idea from the Foxhole Christmas world.
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Might be forced to say something
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*sigh*
So this is about Shoot, my son. I’m sorry for not being a father figure.. but god damnit find someone ELSE to hang out with!! Find friends!! I doubt Novice would even be willing to accept being his second father! This isn’t like Fluffy, when Jero wanted us to adopt him. Jero didn’t mind being a dad for Fluffy. Things have changed since then.
…Dunno what to do. Wish he was someone else’s problem, but that’s what I said about Fluffy for a long time. I want to care for him, but he caught me at a really bad time…
What’s worse, Nova can’t help me with him. She’s got too much already to be able to. So I decided to recruit my former son (Fluffy) to help him out. When telling him how I got into this mess, he wants to help me.
However with the holidays in full swing, he hasn’t had a chance to sit down to do so (so he claims). Hopefully one day he will.
…But if he’s unable to help him, then I have no choice but to say to Shoot “I’m sorry, but I can’t be your father. I don’t like how you put me in a corner when I never really wanted a son. I lost the ability to be a father figure, unintentionally by Fluffy. It’s a very
long, troubling story I don’t wish to go over. ..You sadly need to look elsewhere for an RP family, one that will give you lots of love. I just can’t do it anymore. I cannot replace the love Garruk gave you, and I’m sorry about that.
…I’m hoping we can just be friends.”, and he would accept this to move on. But Fluffy believes he’s already tried looking for others and they’ve turned him down, and now he’s with me. And if that’s true.. I’m stuck with him. :/ Hopefully Novice can help me out though if that’s the case, trying to be a second father.