“Ask (to be bi) and you shall receive (someone showing their dik to you IRL)”.. can I
pass? *barfs in mouth* …Wait, what’s that? I allowed the person to do so, just so they’ll be happy? Crap, I forgot. 😛 I really need to stop being so nice.
And that’s what happened yesterday, and early this morning.
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Dinner and a(n unwanted) Show
Pretty slow afternoon for the day after Christmas, and how it sucks when you got two bills coming in, giving you less than $100 for the month and knowing you have to survive off of it instead of buy more Steam games.
…Where was I going with this again? Oh yes, the title. Was preparing my typical Thursday dinner (always taking my phone with me) when I get a DM from Fluffy saying he feels “bad and upset also guilty about something”. Does this have to do with how I wanted the group to spend either Christmas Eve or Day with me? I wanted to ask, but I held back on it.
He wanted to ‘show’ me something, and asked if it was OK. I felt “mmm, well, since you’re 18 now, and Ruffy can’t do shit to me… do whatever makes you happy. :)”
While trying to eat dinner, he shows me the picture. To protect the eyes of the innocent who are watching these words, I’m not going to comment what the picture was.
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After, he said that he wanted to show more later tonight and kept asking if it was OK. All I said was “do whatever makes you happy”.
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What I wanted.. somewhat
Moving on to something more ‘PG’, I was playing Beat Saber (the actual game, not the VRChat versions). Beat Saver is still a thing (to avoid paying upwards of $100 to get all of these song pack DLCs). Paid for the full game, why should I have to pay more?
I also introduced a few friends of mine to songs that Ninja had showed me (that are Expert+ and are insane… like ‘RAISE MY SWORD,’ one of the hardest songs ever created). And their reactions of “WHAT THE FUCK?!?!” were priceless! Hahahahaha!! Ahh man.
Mmm. I was mainly trying to tire myself, to say “hey Fluffy, sorry but I’m too tired to do what you wanted to. I’m going to bed.”
-=-
So what I mean with the title, is everyone but Red joined the world I was part of (almost like a ‘group reunion’). I just wish it happened Christmas Eve or Day.
-=-
Anyway, after I felt ‘done’ (as my body was hurting all over and I could barely hold my controllers.. feeling I may’ve pushed myself a bit too far), I went in VRChat for a bit. Blue and Fluffy were on (but both were in a private world). A bit suspicious, but I
thought “they’re probably watching a movie”. Sent Fluffy an invite request, then went to go see another friend while I waited for an invite. The other friend was busy with other friends, talking about the Sonic movie to even notice me. Then the invite popped up. It wasn’t a movie world, kind of odd.
When I arrived, I heard very familiar music (but with a different world). Saw Blue on the ground (laying down on his back, with Fluffy booping him). I left the two alone and explored the world. Obviously this world was created by the same one that made ‘The Home of the Time’ (which used to be one of my chosen homeworlds for sometime).
Infact, a lot of the features of that world have been brought here (including the day/night cycle).
Cola joined too, which freaked me out as I haven’t seen him online since… that unfortunate Friday. I was able to talk to him for awhile. He’s doing quite alright, telling me that he’s been having to work a lot (and misses his freedom). Hasn’t had time to “shoot anyone” because his work schedule cuts right into it. Poor thing.
Cola then wanted to talk to be in another area of the world (when Aftershock wanted to join) and was allowed to. As I talked to Cola, Fluffy teleported over to me (which I didn’t really appreciate). Could only assume he was avoiding Aftershock, but I told him “I will talk to you and Blue later, OK? Now please go back.” He did this a second time, really got annoying.
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Found Aftershock, spying on us (claiming Fluffy doesn’t even know he’s in the world). He also tells me of a concern he feels for his BF, and how it could be the same as it was for Lunar. Says he let Lunar go because she didn’t really spend a lot of time with him, and he feels his BF could be the same way.
Says his BF has two brothers and hardly has time to himself (and also lives in the middle of nowhere). They have met eachother IRL, but it’s once a week (and for half the day).
At least they’re doing more than I ever have (seeing eachother IRL).
Told him about Cola and the group (how it’s a poly), and he gave me his honest
answer; said how it’s “fake”, that I’ll never truly be happy with multiple people. Dude, you read me like a book. I reminded him about Ninja. He said “I know what you were trying to do, Benie. But you also got to realize it’s too late to disband it.” Sadly agreed.
“I would give it all up to call someone as my own. I miss those days so much.” I said to him. He understood me. I also said “dude, I’m kind of like Fluffy in ways”. He
questions “desperate?” “Yes,” I responded. He claims he was desperate too, when he found his BF. Hmm.. you know my pain then, Aftershock (and why the group exists). 😛
I end this segment of Blue being drunk and talking weird shit, like how.. “balls are dick titties”. Plus of him not wanting to go to bed (and spending 10 minutes to get him to do
so). Was funny. Fluffy went offline to upload something he bought from Patreon.. I assume the model that Blue (and a lot of others have) of the strange long eared bunny-cat thing.
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“…I can’t fap to THIS!!” -God
I say this in humor of Fluffy’s status in Discord: “God loves you no one else” After what I allowed Fluffy to do (in a video call), I’m pretty sure God will turn his back to me and shake his head in disapproval, then pull a level marked ‘HELL’ that causes the floor to drop from under me.. no matter how much I would be pleading “I wanted him to be happy!”
Virtual dick, I don’t mind (doesn’t bother me). RL dick…
I think, only the gayest of the gay could ever ‘fap to this’ of what I saw. To me, I wanted to throw up in my mouth. …I don’t know why, as it’s a natural thing. But I felt like I want to clean my brain with bleach to get rid of .. ew. Plus he wanted me to turn him on by moaning for him.
I guess this proves I’m still in the middle when it comes to being bi. And I made the stupid mistake by saying “we can do this again”. …I just want him to be happy. I don’t want him to be upset.
Plus I feel like I have to “get used to it”.