I no longer have to wait for a response, for we have finally explained the entire situation like adults, and he has forgiven me. I no longer have to keep myself away from VRChat. But I have definitely learned from this. It’ll be a very, very long while until there will be
a “next time” (at least I hope). I mean, who knows. I’m starting to really get attached to Blender, but I also need to back off before it goes any further.
And there’s nothing wrong with “technically dating”. That (to me) is the definition of
an unofficial relationship… not an open relationship. There should be a clear line. And I’m now starting to wonder if I’ve been right all along for being confused and Frost assuming I was talking about an open relationship (and him forgetting to tell me it is). …I dunno.
–
So this morning, he responded to me instead of me having to wait a week if he’ll even say anything about it. …But his response shocked the fuck out of me. He claimed the reason for the breakup was.. “blaming my(his) disabilities”. HUH?!?!
I quickly responded with a “NO!! No, not at all!” way of explaining, not knowing where in the heck he even came up with this untrue claim. Then I tried to explain the main reason why I broke up, of realizing what an ‘unofficial relationship’ was and how “I cannot handle that”. So, he likely hasn’t read that part.
Exactly one hour later, he messages me again saying “well it’s fine then I’m already over it”. ..Huh? That’s,.. not how you’re supposed to feel when your partner cheated on you. And once again I reminded him of what I did, trying to get this across to him. Yet he didn’t feel I cheated on him at all, only confused on what the heck I was even talking about. So you’re just as confused about this as I was.
Then the conversation shifted to him saying “I made it official when I was going to start calling you hun sweetie” …wait. I–I told you I wasn’t ready for that!! Why in the hell did you assume I wanted this to be official when you never even asked me?! I even asked you to clarify yourself! He saw he fucked up there and apologized.
I went on, reminding him what happened before and after we first ERP’d. How he wanted us to be a thing and I said “no”, and had “assumed you were just joking around” after when he was saying ‘back off he’s mine’ to others, acting like it was official.
–
He claims I “said in text that the first time ERP makes it official”… I…never said this? Ok look, let me explain the truth how a relationship works. It it only when I
say “I’m yours” and you say the same thing, and we call eachother “boyfriend”, that it’s considered an official relationship.
…I NEVER told you that ERP = official relationship!! The HELL, dude. I know I didn’t say that! And again he apologized.
I..I.. I don’t get you sometimes, MIBIT. Is it the ADHD talking and not you? Wanted to say this but I didn’t.
Then finally, I asked him if he forgives me for what I did. “I forgive you but I don’t the dating will start up again.” I’m just, I’m going to stop sounding shocked. He’s basically saying, honestly something he really shouldn’t have to. Basically, of needing time to cope with heartbreak. I never had this explained to me. You think this is my first rodeo..?
But it matters not. What does, is he forgives me.
.
.
So what have we learned here? That an unofficial relationship = open relationship? Well yes, but.. MIBIT isn’t someone that will tell you what you should be doing in a relationship. He’s not someone for ‘beginners’. And honestly, we really shouldn’t had even started this in the first place. I dunno but it just seemed that his ADHD was “getting in the way” of him thinking clearly about what he’s really looking for in a relationship. Just like myself, he’s also going to need to reevaluate his life.
But if I was him, I’d find someone who knows how to work with (or has the required patience to work with) someone with ADHD. That is his best bet.