As much as the relationship was doomed from the start (as he rushed it).. I sometimes think about it. But not in a “I’m gonna cry” way. Just gonna say, I miss when we hugged and he was always there for me. But, he still is.. as a friend. And like I said
before, you don’t need to be in a relationship to have someone watch your back. I got Kovo. We’re not in a relationship (other than being best friends), and I’m OK with
it.
…Heaven forbid Kovo and myself being in a romantic relationship. 😂🤣 Dear god it scares the fuck out of me. lmao
But anyway, I am gonna miss being able to say those three words to him, and cuddling
him (even though he was mostly in desktop mode). It just felt so nice, compared to cuddling an NPC as the secret project.. and feeling extremely awkward when– fuck I’m digressing again, aren’t I?
Back on topic here. I was ready to handle this fallout with Wolfdog. But that’s what I said when it came to Novice. And when he broke up with me, it felt like..
Just that sudden stop, when I really didn’t want it to end. But when it came to Wolfdog, I knew it was going to fall apart some day. And.. that I fear is kind of what doomed the relationship. A double-edged sword, you know? You do your best to prepare your emotions for the day it does happen, yet you also shouldn’t as it makes you so prepared.. you forget why you’re even in a relationship to begin with! That’s why I kept asking myself.. “why?”
I was so prepared that it was almost like I was trying to push him away. But of course, not delibertly. And I wouldn’t had felt this at all if it wasn’t for this ‘attitude’ he has when he’s trying to discuss something to me.
It just wasn’t meant to be. He rushed it. I dunno if he actually felt this when he was thinking very hard.. and I’m not gonna ask either. I’ve contemplated it, but decided it’s best not to. It would just cause drama I don’t want (which could had ruined our friendship as well). So I’m going to let it go, for both our sakes.
.
Also… I feel Wolfdog too is in pain after this. The fact he logged off when I logged into VRChat, that’s saying something. Either that or he was really tired.
Though I don’t think so. I say, he too misses when we were a thing. But anyway, who knows what’s really going though his mind. As I type now, he’s back in VRChat.