I’m just going to describe the day as it happened, before I get to something that I wish didn’t happen as I thought it would… but Cola forced my hand when he asked Blue that question about choice (forcing his hand).
And honestly, not much happened today. None of the group were on, things were pretty boring. So I solo’d one of the climbing trials (which was a lot more fun than I
thought). Think of Shadow of The Colossus in VRChat, using CyanLaser’s climbing
prefab (and without that slightly annoying grip meter… and Agro). There were puzzles such as finding crystals to stop fire traps, or completely pass them altogether.
I got to the boss at the end, looking at what I’m supposed to do. DJ joins the instance (as I made it Friends only if anyone would like to join me). He wanted to make sure I was doing OK from the conversation we had the day ago. Told him I was doing better (just bored AF right now). Appreciate you checking up on me dude, that means a lot. 🙂 You’re a true friend… even though I have some trouble understanding you.
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When I was done with the titan (and the music changed to the iconic ‘Colossus Defeated’ music from the game), I was being invited by Shoot to join him. Meh, why not. Got nothing better to do. Him and Garruk where there, watching some anime with English subtitles. It was alright, still bored. Looking through my friends list every so often. Noticed the world DJ was in: ‘Fun Furry Night’. OwO, what’s this!? I was very tempted to join. Instead DJ joins me, just as bored as I was. I asked DJ “is there porn?” He drops a
portal, saying “go find out for yourself”. I go in.
Immediately facepalm (with both of my hands) when I saw the actual world. Didn’t take a picture as I was too busy facepalming. It wasn’t even related to furries.. it was a troll world. And I got trolled by DJ. GOD DAMNIT!! D:{ UGH.. no words.
He tells me this is one of the worlds he found for being bored, and wanted to show me another… of very questionable nature. In this world, were a few dicks. “And it’s
public!!” DJ says. Again, no words!
—
Now I can’t remember what happened later, only joining Garruk in The Mansion and seeing a FUCKTON of people!! If I was to guesstimate, 25+ people there. WOW. I’ve never seen so many in that world!! It was crazy! My computer was struggling to give me a
stable, playable framerate in the upper 30’s.
Later, I was ‘trying to get lucky’ with Garruk. But he had to take a shower. Damnit. 😛 Then I finally saw Cola on, who was in the movie world. I wanted to confront him about what he sent Blue, but I could never get him alone to do so (hanging around with other
friends), and then he left.
These other friends wanted to watch Home Alone, and I decided to watch with them.
As the movie was nearly over, Blue and Fluffy joined. Hung out with the two when the movie was done. Waited patiently incase Cola came back, and he did. But I couldn’t talk to the three as there were still a few friends left.
Instead I went to an area, and Fluffy saw me. He asked if everything was alright, and I said what I wanted to do. He asked “you want me to bring them here?” I said “as long as you don’t tell the others”.. instead he ends up doing the opposite. Oh well, they’re here.. it’s time.
And this is where things turned south. FAST.
I look at Cola straight in the eyes and tell him the truth about a poly. He says nothing. I’m finishing up and he leaves without a word. …FUCK. A minute later, my fears become true with him telling me he’s “leaving the group immediately”.
Couldn’t even describe what I was going through at that moment. Sadness. Frustration. Anger. Wanting to rip Ruffy limb from limb from telling me they ‘should be a poly, it would make the group stronger’.
IT’S TEARING IT APART!!! …This is why I NEVER wanted a true poly!! I KNEW Cola would be against it!!
…But the more I thought about it, I realized this was never Ruffy’s fault (or mine). This was all Cola. He was trying to shake up the group with these ‘choice’ questions, and didn’t realize he was going to start shit. And it’s all because of his trust issues and how he keeps doubting himself of ‘not being good enough’. I have given him all the love and support one can give. I have gotten him out of that shell… and this is the way he ‘thanks’ me, for never being able to show true love.
For a month, he felt Blue was ‘so much better’ than him, no matter how many fucking TIMES I have told him “I have NO favorites! I love you ALL!” He refused to accept it!
And now, he left. But I cannot say he’s ‘gone’ (as I don’t know if this also means he’ll never speak to us again and/or block us).
*sighs*…How unfortunate. Plus, Fluffy left the instance when I was an absolute mess. The only one that stayed with me, was Blue… just like he promised in the past of nomatter what I say, he’s not leaving my side. And he made me feel better with his presence, to the point that I told him “I wish I could just disband it, and we could be a couple.”
..I personally don’t feel Fluffy’s going to stay in the group much longer (after what he did last night). Yesterday, never once did he ask “how are you doing?” Like he just didn’t care about the group (and/or me).
Though, I want to go on a limb and say “he was probably tired and went to bed. He didn’t delibertly leave.”… yet why didn’t he tell me anything? Too tired to do so? Or feeling he would say the wrong thing (which is more likely).
I can only pray it was that. But it’s still wrong to leave me like that, in my time of need.
.
I dunno what I’m going to do, but staying out of VRChat for awhile is the primary thing. Probably play other games… just, do something else to get my mind off of this.