What a crazy 48 hours it’s been, and how I wish I can simply disappear from the memory of most people (so they won’t know me). Not to mention, things I wish I could disappear from my own memory.
So let’s get this latest VRChat-related mess explained. First off, some drama in Kovo’s Discord server (again). But this time it’s not my fault;
“Don’t shoot the messenger”
Another security threat has arisen from the devs’ attempt to fix more security flaws. Not to mention, there’s one that’s semi-directly related to VRChat; it’s a flaw discovered by
Unity, which can be patched by a content creator — aka myself and my worlds/avatars. This disables the ‘Open in Unity’ button in the Asset Store. Though Unity is working on a permanent fix, it won’t be applied to the version that VRChat is using (since it’s outdated).
So, anytime I have to reinstall Unity, I have to reapply the patch. It sucks, but what can you do?
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The next day, Kovo (again) informs me of a threat via DM; someone releasing a modded client to the public that can steal your avatars, crash you, etc. Except a very serious threat of it claiming it can steal your IP address (and use it to DDoS you).
This one comes from a member in the Discord, which confused me. This person could had contacted me personally about the issue, but I did thank Kovo for giving me this info. Before posting it in announcements, I wanted to ask the one that stated this threat and test its credibility.
Sure enough, he was able to verify the claim with a picture. But something rubbed me the wrong way about it. Still, I posted what I could in announcements, then went back to my normal activities.
An hour later, Zagrosect (the one trying to help me get new PC hardware) DMs me saying it’s not possible someone can steal your IP, and to “remove the post as you’re just spreading propaganda”. This felt very rude and condescending. Dude, I’m just doing my job, which is informing the public. Even told him, to take it up to the guy who told
us (instead of myself). And I thought that would be the end of it (where the two would try to work this mess out). Then later, he posts two paragraphs (in general) of how it’s not possible (etc, etc). Felt quite demeaning, to the point I’m feeling of not speaking to him again.
Don’t. shoot. the messenger. Take it up to the person that gave the info, not me. And even though it’s not my fault (this time), I feel it is.. for not using common sense.
Thankfully, one admin had my back and posted his own statement about it, stating “we’re only saying this as we care for the safety of our members.” THANK YOU!! Someone gets it!
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Drawing the line with Phox
In other news, I’ve been getting on VRChat (in VR) earlier than usual, just so I can hang out with the one that really cares about me (and his friends). But of the same day with the shitstorm in Kovo’s Discord server, he said I couldn’t join him as he was dealing with someone that’s extremely shy around others (and was worried the person would freak out if I showed up).
But it’s all good, yet how I was also lying through my teeth that I loved this new guy who I never met before (all because Phox does). Not to mention, he even asked me in a DM if I love him (as a friend). I swear he’s trying to start a polyrelationship, or some kind of circle of friends. I have a circle too, but (as I said before).. “I love you” is never used.
I dunno. I just don’t feel comfortable saying “I love you” to guys (especially ones I just met). Maybe it’s just me.
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Because there’s something else I have to step away when it comes to Phox; he’s a
pervert (which I mentioned before). But yesterday is when he was crossing the line of what I’m going to tolerate. It’s not how he has no problem talking about how horny he is, but what he said (and his action shortly after) to me and the new guy.
He’s hugging and kissing us, then says “I’m feeling wet”. The new guy starts running for the door first, and I follow without hesitation. Hell, with time, I think I just might like the new guy (he’s straight like me).
About ten minutes later, I saw something that still makes me wonder why I’m hanging out with Phox. He came to the bathroom, that had a version of his avatar with a dick on it. Why, dude? Why? I could happily live my life WITHOUT seeing that!
I almost feel scarred from seeing that. How is this helping me to mentally heal, when I see the one who’s trying to… suddenly pull out his throbbing dick!?
He did apologize afterwards, saying it wasn’t intentional. But I swear it was a test to see just how straight I really am. Pretty sure I passed it with a very white color. 😛
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In addition, I have unblocked Lunar and have apologized to her. This is one good thing that came from being with Phox (as they know what happened). She still loves me as a friend, so that’s good. And speaking of friends that are girls, I’ve been finding quite a few that really care for me (yet have boyfriends).
Hey, what can I say? The ladies love me. Still can’t find a GF of my own though. 😛
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Ugh. The things I get myself into. Plus, a quarter of me feels I’m ‘using’ Phox to get out of looking for a potential GF. The other 3/4 says “yes, you are, but you know he’s all you got right now.” And as long as he doesn’t go ‘horny mode’, I’m OK with it. Yet I could only feel the desperation to find one, very slowly increasing.
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Playing love damage control for friends (and being unqualified for the job)
Speaking of things I get myself into (and wishing I didn’t), is trying to help my friends with relationships (like Kovo’s been doing). The latest case, is a friend named ‘Scoobypup’ and one named ‘BlueDrago’. Scooby, used to be a boyfriend of the one who helped with the texturing of BenieTheDragon. Now, he and Blue are a
couple.. however it’s on shaky ground (to where Scooby blames himself for getting in this mess). Deja vu. Basically, Blue has stopped speaking to Scooby (for some odd
reason), and Scooby mainly wants me to ask “what’s going on”. And this has been going on since last weekend.
However, I was able to talk to Blue yesterday and have him talk to Scooby, and the two are together again.
UPDATE (3/9/19): The two are now just good friends, 48 hours after they got back together. That night, Scooby became extremely emotional (crying, etc). For three
hours, several friends tried their best to calm him down. To not make this into a “give a fuck about me I feel like shit right now” segment, Kovo I feel was able to eventually calm him down.
Dunno what eventually made Blue listen (as my own computer felt ashamed of my existence to the point it completely froze), and I got off VRChat for the rest of the night.
What IÂ have learned about Blue, is he’s in an open relationship (a stronger version of a polyrelationship, where sex is talked about). One of the guys that Blue hangs around
with, is quite jealous of Scooby. But it doesn’t make sense why he was trying to avoid
him, instead of talking about the issue (like an adult). To say “I don’t want to hurt you” only makes it worse.
But, it’s all good. And best of all, everything I said has been forgotten. Aka, I can feel like shit without others telling me I am shit.
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Basically, you have a love issue? … Don’t come to me. Don’t even think about it. I got my own shit to deal with.. I don’t need yours. I know that sounds rude, but I don’t want to hurt you with my stupid conspiracy theories (and then being forced to say “it’s just a
rumor, calm down”).
Can’t even listen to my own fucking advice, so why give it? I have to stop trying to ‘be the hero’.