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So glad I still have Novice 😊
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Another day of depression since my breakup with Wolfdog. He has been playing VRChat pretty much all day and never once asked me to join him (or him to join me).
I half expected to get something from him, since we’re still friends you know? Just for him to show there’s no hard feelings. But nothing.
Instead I went to go see Toucan, someone I haven’t really visited since I was dating Wolf. I just had this fear of seeing certain people, that Wolf would see this as a form
of ‘cheating’ or not spending enough time with him. It’s stupid, I know. But I just couldn’t shake it off.
But anyway, seeing Toucan with others I felt shy of going over there. One of his friends came over and tried to encourage me to join them. This is when I saw Blender joining the instance and I immediately began to suspect “Blender’s spying for Wolfdog to keep an eye on me. He likely knows by now we’re no longer a thing.” …Then again, Blender hates drama as much as I do. So why would he?
Still, did my best to keep an eye on him. Little did I know as I went around, he was literally were I was before. Didn’t seem at all interested in spying. I also discovered him and Toucan know eachother. He also knows ‘Master_Man’, one of Toucan’s best friends who was also there.
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Anyway, the only reason Blender showed up was to say hi and that he was going to bed. I wanted to ask him if he knows that Wolf and I broke up but I never got a chance.
I walked around this world by myself, feeling a bit lonely. As prepared as you can make yourself, a recent breakup still hurts. Toucan found me later and I decided to just enjoy hanging with him.
Then Novice joined. Debated on asking to join him, but did it anyway. And he surprisingly accepted it.
Felt a bit ashamed of asking for an invite and went over to the far bedroom. Looked out the window. I turned around and didn’t see him. I turned around the other direction and there he was staring at me with that silly smile on his face, and booping me.
I felt so relaxed after that, and said “I’m in need of a cuddle buddy”. He happily accepted my request and we talked for a bit about things going on in his life. Then he got on full body.
Laying down with him, I told him all about my failed relationship with Wolfdog. He fully understood the story and cuddled me more. Then I told him “I so miss doing this. Ever since the relationship I felt I would never be able to do this anymore”. Because Wolfdog never really cuddled me (when he was in VR). I wanted to cuddle with him just like Novice does (even without him having full body). But he never did. All we did was snuggle with our noses, him licking me and grabbing my crotch, but that was it. Jero did so much
more.
Laying with Novice, and hearing his really cute, relaxing “Yeeee..”‘s… man do I miss this! If only we were a thing instead of just friends with benefits. But, I’m alright with it. As I said before, I’m content.
Then he wanted to do it. And it was so great. You just don’t feel that pleasure when the other is also a top. I tried so hard to not say “I love you”. Because he just makes me so happy. …If only I had this level of happiness with Wolfdog. 🙁 But when you’re both tops it’s never really going to work out (at least, IMO). I tried.. but it just isn’t the same when the other’s either a switch or a bottom. Plus.. I can’t shake off when I sucked Wolfdog’s cock (yet he wouldn’t do the same for me). The fuck.
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Moving on, we watched some videos that we enjoyed together (and never once he ask
me “did you like it like I did?”) See how much better that is, Wolfdog? It makes myself and Novice very close friends.. not myself wanting to find ways to getting away from you.
Then he went to bed, and the rest is history (other than Vale wanting me to join him to tell me tales from what he’s gone through as a member of the U.S. Marines).
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Wolfdog shows his (real) true colors, gets Kovo PISSED..
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So this happened today! ..And what fun times it was.
I was considering on making this blog post (mostly about Novice) and also preparing to respond to Kovo’s response of how I felt my over-preparedness caused me to forget why I was even in a relationship.
Surprisingly, Wolfdog messages me for the first time since the breakup. Starts off as a civilized conversation, then changes to “oh was wondering when you would be able to pay me back for minecraft” Just flat out says that.
I never asked him “why do you need the money? You told me you weren’t going to hurt with it.” Never thought about it. I was too shocked to think that. So I thought “he’s likely still pissed we broke up, so he wants the money… even though I could’ve sworn he
said “don’t worry about it, I know how it is”. But I paid it in full, then I told Kovo about it. Started to feel “I should be asking him for the $200 back then.”
So I did, reminding him first about the game. Says “I never said that”… can’t stop
lying, can you? Look, let’s make out a deal here. Since you can’t afford to pay back the $200 right now,
He refused to even go there, fighting me. Trying to make it look like he’s innocent and assuming we’re still talking about the game being a gift. I sent everything to Kovo, who told me I had the right to say what I said. Because, this is a fair deal.
Kovo took over the argument, and could see the proof about the attitude Wolf has. He was really starting to get annoyed at Wolf. And one time Wolf fucking lies right to Kovo’s
face, about “I have a small bill I need to pay” …Why didn’t he tell me about this? Why did he say that to Kovo instead? …What a load of BULLSHIT. Dude, you’re just digging the hole deeper for yourself.
I told you before I was willing to make a deal, and you won’t even do that.
At the end, Wolfdog finally conceded to Kovo and promised he’ll pay it back, but also
said “I’m unfriending Benie”. ..Ohh no, I’m gonna cry! …More like laugh my head off. But it also isn’t funny at the same time. It’s sad. This is sad. 39 year old being an ungrateful piece of shit.
“It would be funny, if it weren’t.. so sad.”
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Kovo then had a discussion with me, saying the fact I have full body is likely why Wolfdog wanted to be my BF (because he knows I have money). But… I dunno. I don’t think so. He never asked me for money. Though he also never said “I’ll find some way to pay it back”. I mean, remember what I said in this post? How I feel I “fucked up” after I gave him that money? Boy.. do I now.
I just hope he does pay it back. All of it. Because, he wants to pull this shit how all the sudden he wants me to pay him for Minecraft.. and doesn’t expect me to do the same? Both things are ‘a gift’, Wolfdog. And just like Twitch, you can ask for your donation back and they have to do so (if you have a good enough reason). Though they might not be able to do it right away, they still will with time.
I still wonder why Wolf never told me about this bill. That would had made some sense why he suddenly wanted me to pay back the money (for him to pay the bill). But still, that wouldn’t had even been my fault he wasn’t paying attention to his finances. I asked him before this happened, to make sure it wasn’t going to fuck him over. Not my fault.
Still doesn’t make sense why he never told me. He could had said “look, I needed the money to pay a surprise bill off I didn’t see before. So why do you feel you’re owed this $200?”
That would had likely changed the conversation to where he was in the right. ..But the fact he didn’t, makes him look bad. Lying. sack. of shit you are, Wolfdog. And now I have Kovo big brother to protect me.
.
I hope I just get the money and that’s it. I won’t have to deal with his friends. He’ll likely block me after it. But.. *shrug* Whatever. Shouldn’t had just flat out asked me for payment of that game, and then lying to me saying “I never said don’t worry about it”.
SICK of your lies, Wolfdog.
You fail to understand, the game and the $200 are both seen as ‘gifts’. And since you went this route, you don’t expect me to do the same? ..Really? Fair’s fair. Is that not right?
You started all of this Wolfdog. I just wanted to be friends. Yet you pull a Fluffy on
me.
..Never again. I’m staying single. The only exception, is if Novice considers dating me again. Dunno if that’ll ever happen, and honestly I don’t really care if it never does. I’m still happy with him as very close friends. 🙂 That’s never going to change (as long as he’s happy to be my cuddle buddy).