2019: Site finance issues, stuck with WMR, love drama, my sona ingame, and health scares

Almost mid-month. I figure now is a good day to turn back the clock and go over 2019 in one blog post. Typically, this month is when I would be doing the ‘Benies-Blogs.com Game Awards’. But how I’ve been primarily fixated by VRChat, I haven’t really played enough games to warrant doing that.
So, I will be covering both this and the Games blog, of all important posts that happened this year. Let us look back.. into 2019!
Also, if you enjoy this new ‘look back into the year’ format, please let me know and I might do one at the end of next year (if we all live that long of course).
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JANUARY;
-Playing Warframe, and then getting fed up because platinum wouldn’t help me get a new MOA.
-Arvixe’s support being down for months (fearing they were ignoring their customers and not knowing why), but I finally found out they were switching to a new live chat and figured out why the main hosting payment got taken out automatically, restoring my faith with the hosting company.
-Dealing with Job Simulator (and that Office Worker job always freezing when trying to load). Going through a fun time with the developers over countless emails, and finally figuring out it was the headset causing the issue (not this BS that I didn’t set up my playspace through SteamVR).
-Finally breaking down and getting the Dutchie (the 1.1b) downloaded, installed, and used as BTD 3.0.
-Creator of Cube World posts tweets after a two-year hiatus. Fucking hell…
-Creepery leaves VRChat… never returns to it.
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FEBRUARY;
-The love drama begins (with Lunar). That same month is also when I start changing how I approach things.
-ASTRONEER is fully released.
-BTD 3.0 bug testing and using the Villar eye tracking shader for the first time.
-A YouTube video I made years ago (when I was part of the MRT server), is apparently ‘famous’ on Reddit. Yet I never found the proof.
-Article 13 woes, and if it would affect America. Thankfully it never did, but Article 13 did get passed in the UK.
-The first ever Steam Awards, the winners are announced.
-Tracking down possible crashers/hackers in VRChat, becoming a victim for trying to be the hero. :/
-Actually playing Subnautica (since its release). To this day I have yet to continue my playthrough. 😛
-Getting officially bored with Wurm (again) and letting the deed die. Could it be another 5 years until I come back, or never?
-The day SKYLOOP faked his own death to avoid the spotlight, but became a friend later. Though I dunno what happened to him since. To this day, he’s not on my friends list anymore.
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MARCH;
(By this month, I was shifting away from the Games blog and more towards the General blog. This is also the month when I ‘turned bi’ (with Scooby encouraging me to do
so), realizing I had a higher chance finding love with guys than girls)
-Three relationships I tried, and they failed (this month). The first was ending with Lunar. The second was Blueberry (which Aftershock told me to forget about it). And
finally.. Wuffer (which ended a few weeks later).
-Phox entered my life and helped me to feel better. Then he left when I brought up Creepery (and found where his loyalties lie). :/
-Getting help from Kaelygon to achieve perfect flight, but never putting what I learned to practice.
-A sign my current project folder was showing issues (the broken jaw bug, caused by a VRChat update).
-My father has a stroke, which changed his life forever.
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APRIL;
(A very crazy month in the General blog, when the love drama is taking its toll on me. Most of the month is focused on Wuffer. I am now fully convinced that I am bisexual)
-Feeling that it’s better to focus on ‘friends-with-benefits’, than a full-on relationship.
-Got my iPhone 6s, thanks to Wuffer for showing me there’s a better option.
-Scooby seems like me when it comes to heartbreaks and trying to find love. Little did I know that he was doing them ‘differently’.
-Creepery’s depression of love clouding his mind of focusing on college work. That same month… we stopped hearing from him (and fear the worst). It’s also the month when I become good friends with Acid Claws.
-My Lenovo Explorer’s facepad is coming off. Who knew you actually have to CLEAN the damn things? 😛
-Borderlands 3 is released.. on the Epic Store. We’re still waiting for March 2020 of it to be released on Steam (if it even will).
-VRChat announcing it’s coming to the Oculus Quest, and the controversy starts.
-BTD 3.0 (after applying the temp fix for the jaw) is completed and launched.
-A possible upgrade for my computer is discussed with Wuffer, Zagroseckt and myself.
-The shitshow that revolves all around Jusper accidentally giving a model to Drafy that he shouldn’t had, and being labeled as an avatar stealer. That same month, the drama is “over”, but not with Kovo and certain members of their community (until much later).
-Best Boi 3.0 revealed… and why not many like it.
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MAY;
(The ‘friends-with-benefits’ approach for love is going strong, but I also wished for more than just that)
-‘Dating’ CybermutT’ and meeting his RL BF. I also ‘dated’ Nighwolf for a time.
-Super Mario Maker 2 unveiled. I now want a Switch.
-Father goes to the hospital and it’s not looking good. This is also the first (and ever) time I tried the Uber app. But it has set the stage for my future.
-Getting my parts for the upgrade, but waiting to get the right PSU needed for the upgrade.
-De-dusting my computer (and mother’s), and she makes her Ethernet port no longer work for carelessly pulling the cable out. Yet I have to pay for it of her being a technophobe.
-Issues with my headset begin to emerge since the October 2018 Windows 10 update was pushed (the freeze, blue then black screen issue). The futile attempts to fix this elusive issue begin.
-Getting the common cold for a few weeks (thanks to father getting it and making everyone sick, because he can’t cover his FUCKING MOUTH when he coughs!!). Wasn’t fun.
-Drama outside of my own, with DJ and BlueDrago breaking up.
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JUNE;
(2019 is now halfway over, and halfway to go. The busiest month in the General blog (tying last month with 24 posts). The month that Jero comes into my life (and so does Fluffy). The pre-founding of the group also happens this month.)
-I complete the upgrade of my 5-year-old hardware, replacing the 6-year-old FX-4350 with a Ryzen 5 2600. DJ manages to help me with a few major issues, fearing I fried something.
-The mess of reinstalling Unity (and seeing my project folder). It forces me to make a new one (plus the temp fix of BTD 3.0’s jaw is broken, as expected).
-Make a ‘temp’ Space Engineers server, since Vale’s now in the marines and he’s the one that did it.
-Officially moved on from Wuffer, and realize Muumiankka is an absolutely sweet
guy (who helped me get over the heartbreak).
-‘Dating’ Ron_Nightfury a day after moving on from Wuffer. At the same time, I’m also ‘dating’ Red Fox. Red is a better pick and I stick with him, and this would mark the founding of the group. On this same month.. Jero comes into my life (and I start dating him. At least I think I am).
-‘XxInsanityWolfxX’ (now known as InsanelyFluffy) comes into my life as my first ever RP
son, while dating Jero.
-Acid Claws wants people to test his Unity-built game ‘Castle Wars’, while the dev from Rolling Line gives out free keys to Echo Grotto for anyone willing to test WMR binding support.
-DOOM: Eternal is shown off at E3 (aka ‘DOOM II 2016’). Its original release date was November 22nd of this year. It has been pushed to March of 2020.
-The drama with Chris606 of trying to spend quality father-son bonding time with
Fluffy.
-Kovo has a meltdown over constantly being told he’s a furry. That same time, is when Jero asked me for that picture of us.. when I thought he actually wanted to get more serious (despite the doubts).
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JULY;
(The month Jero leaves, and the true birth of the group begins (with all three in it))
-Jero ‘breaks up’ with me, claiming he “doesn’t know how relationships work”. Tell him I ‘cheated’ because of the doubts (feeling it was over with us, so why not just tell him), but he only heard the “cheating” part. :/
-CybermutT leaves VRChat, making me feel partially responsible for it. The same
time, I’m really liking BlueBio for being there with me when I was upset about it. He was also there when I talked about Jero.
-To get my mind off of this, I do the new ‘Climbing Carnival’ world and get all the way to its Base Camp 2.
-Blue’s now in the group, so is Cola. This is the month the group is now a thing, and has been to this day. However, I began to have second thoughts if bringing him in was a good idea.
-I take over as sole father for Fluffy (since Jero’s gone). The month is when Fluffy begins changing; wanting to find love.. finding myself as a lover, going to Europe and faking a suicide that make me question if this was a good idea.
-I discovered Jero was really saddened about the whole ‘cheating’ thing, so he dated Scooby to “get me back”.
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AUGUST;
(My birth month.. what could go wrong?! My mind upset over Jero while I try to rely on the group for support, while Cola’s showing his true colors.. making me more and more desperate to not give up (again).. I WILL break him out of this shell!!)
-Buying a Nintendo Switch for my birthday, just for Super Mario Maker 2.
-Blue shows his true love to me, via a body pillow. Kovo sees this and feels I should do the same thing. And so I do (but stop short on Cola).
-The month Wolves_And_Owls, a random, became my friend.. and my sona’s creator. It was released to me the same month (a week after my birthday).
-This is also the month my Lenovo Explorer finally died on me, and I tried to look for options. I nearly had my hands on a brand new Vive, but my parents don’t want any holes in the walls. After trying to get help, I was better off being stuck with WMR (and got the Samsung Odyssey+ instead ($100 cheaper than the Vive), which is my current
headset).
-AzureFox made me something really cute for my birthday (featuring BTD 3.0), that I absolutely loved. 🙂
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SEPTEMBER;
(The emotional rollercoaster from Cola wanting me to give up on him. When I look back at this month (to now), I really should had, and removed him from the group.)
-Getting the new Samsung Odyssey+ in the mail; the best WMR headset on the
market (according to statistics). And yes I can see the ‘screen door effect’ on some
surfaces, but not enough to regret my purchase. The controllers feel so much better in my hands, more ergonomic.
–Cube World releases after years of waiting for updates, only to come out completely different (and unwanted) since the Alpha; stripping content for no reason (and adding questionable content). The dev has gone back into hiding and has yet to respond (since the release) to this day.
-Kovo (along with Ren_Winter) give me the idea to make the group’s avatars dance. So this is when I started messing with that.
-Trying to help Fluffy, I welcome him into my group. Except he betrays my trust by messing with Blue’s rear end and trying to blame me for it (assuming it’s a poly, when it never was). My father-son relationship is waning at this point, wishing I never met
him.
-Cola says “I love you” to me for the first time.. the next day (and the week that
followed) would be the emotional rollercoaster. Things get better.. for awhile.
-Red Fox comes on less and less, making me wonder what’s going on with him.
-I improve with the dances (having multiple dancers at once).. and making sex scenes for those ‘lonely’ times. However renaming something causes a huge mess that I’m forced to clean up. :/
-Find the ‘Native Emoji’ plugin and start using it for my posts, only for it to break next month. 😛
-Attending my first ever ‘Virtual Market’ in VRChat. I loved the event, can’t wait ’till next year’s! 😀
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OCTOBER;
(A month of headaches dealing with Fluffy acting like a child, and wishing I never met him even more. This is also the month where I talked with Jero since the events in June)
-Having an itch to get back into world building (after a year since I got into it), but never executed it.
-My Odyssey+’s controllers are malfunctioning a month after I got the headset. After a week and a half, I got brand new controllers (that are even more rock solid than my Lenovo Explorer’s).
-Drama with Wufy of trying to play ASTRONEER, trying to learn it yet feeling he’s carrying me, with him claiming I’m not asking questions… if you can see me
struggling, that’s usually a sign I’m in need of help. Not going to ‘tell’ you.
-My frustration with Fluffy messing with Blue (and not listening to me) is reaching its CRITICAL level, where I’m close to blocking him. But Cola indirectly gets me out of it. This is also when Ruffy told me he has feelings for Fluffy (and shows it to him). The next
day, the two break up. Tell Fluffy to keep trying.
-I meet up with Jero again (not by choice as I was trying to avoid someone), and suddenly the memories of meeting him in June are flooding my mind. I discover he’s got another BF now; this ‘Chris’. He also explained what happened with Scooby (along other things).
-Garruk comes back (for some reason I never talked about him sooner). He was one of the ones I was ‘dating’ during the whole friends-with-benefits thing in April. He wasn’t interested in joining the group.
-The strange email about a lawsuit against AMD that turned into a settlement, appeared in my spam folder, claiming I can get money for the FX-9590 I bought last year.
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NOVEMBER;
(The month my virtual life would be crashing down around me, where it felt nothing was going right… especially feeling ‘obsessed’ and wanting Fluffy to be like Jero)
-After years of silence, Valve announces a new Half-Life game (but for VR).
-After a year, Kaelygon updates the original Dutchie (no longer requiring Blender to be installed).
-Feeling forced, I turn the group into a poly. A week later, the whole thing with Ninja and Fluffy happens.
-Wanting to be with Red Fox, but because he hangs with Russian friends.. I cannot. But he has let me know everything’s still OK between us.
-The ‘choice’ Cola puts on me, happens. Does he want to be more than part of the
group? Is he unhappy with how the group is?
-Blue gets ‘hand DLC’ (VR). First time I sent him my old Lenovo Explorer and him finding no problems with it, now he has the original Rift CV1. That same month, Fluffy also gets
it (having the Rift S), along with other friends. This would be the ‘month of VR’. Even Kovo gets into VR thanks to Jusper.
-Cola tells me he can no longer give virtual sex, over not being able to sleep and stuff (but says it’s not my fault). A very unfortunate thing, but that’s fine.
-Drama with DJ and Wufy (after the two broke up), with Wufy feeling no-one cares about him and is unloved. This has continued to happen, with a rift between their friendship starting to form and getting wider every day.
-Dealing with Ruffy who’s being a very jealous lover. He is also the one that forced me to make the group into a poly.
-Shootnsuch (who I met last month and is Garruk’s RP son), becomes more active with
me (constantly wanting to hang with me and calling me his cuddle buddy).. I didn’t really sign up for this.
-I indirectly meet Jero’s new BF (‘Chris’, aka Tinkerer Fox) while hanging with Frost and what felt like 1/3rd of his social group. But I said nothing to him.
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DECEMBER;
Welcome to the final month of 2019. What a crazy ride it’s been over the months. The month is almost halfway over, and I got a lot more blog posts to write before we ring in 2020.
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The latest news I have for you (the time of this post), are four things;
1. Trying to make sense of Cola leaving the group, to see who’s fault it really was (and it was neither). Neither mine, nor his.
2. For the first time since my grandmother passed away, I haven’t put my tree up; feel I have lost my Christmas spirit, because of the ingame love drama that’s been going on in my life for the past.. 2-3 weeks. That and I feel it’s a pain anymore to get the tree
up.
3. I left Jero with a huge paragraph of my feelings (and explaining everything). I am still waiting for a response, but I feel this is something he doesn’t know how to respond, now realizing how I kind of still have strong feelings for him (and how I wanted Fluffy to act like him).
If he never responds, I won’t hold it against him. I even told him to “give the call” if he agrees that blocking him is the only way for me to end this.. ‘obsession’ of wanting
him.
4. Even though this post was done on the 8th, on the 11th is when I finally broke down and talked to Cola about this mess.. just anything to clear my mind, and came back to
VRChat.