A pretty tame day compared the day before (as in I was taking another break from VRChat, as Raft got updated and Kovo wanted to play it). But drama always finds a way to find me.
Also I feel dead as I type this.. like, half-awake and wishing I could go back to bed (but no as father has to go to the doctor, and guess who’s got cat-sitting duties for the 3rd fucking time these two weeks…. last night wasn’t fun, and I all I wanna do is sleep it off.
Plus the idea I had, may be a total flop due to the age of the original Dutchie model. So yeah.
So, drama eventually did find me, in the form of Ruffy…
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Crisis averted!!
Ruffy’s jumping my ass, assuming I ‘left’ Fluffy. The hell are you on about dude?! I never left him! I came close, but I didn’t. Then he sends me a small picture of Fluffy saying he’s heartbroken over ‘Bf broke up’. . . . . ….!! FLUFFY!!! DID YOU JUST FUCKING TELL HIM ABOUT NINJA?!?!?! WHAT THE HELL!!!!
I was that pissed, yes. This wasn’t supposed to be leaked to either him or Raymond, of how they would react to the news. I was also panicking, so I tried to cover my ass and lie my way out of this mess (saying “he’s talking about someone else, he made a mistake being inlove with someone else”. Suddenly a thought popped into my head, to use the whole poly thing against him. “But Ruffy, here’s the thing; the group’s a poly now. Remember? I should had let him go.”
Ruffy, knowing he didn’t have a leg to stand on at that point, gave up and said “Fluffy should be with you. You’re a good guy.” So, not only did I save my own ass, I saved Fluffy’s ass in the process (from Ruffy’s jealous wrath). Thank god for that sudden thought!!
Whew! However, this later made Ruffy depressed. Dude, I wish I could help you. I would give you Fluffy back if I could.
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Please stop the ‘it’s just a game’ crap
If I had a dollar for every time someone told me these four extremely annoying words, I’d be a billionaire by now! But with how much I’ve been told this, you’d think I would get the message and stop being so… me when it comes to gaming.
Hasn’t. happened. yet. 😛 Struggling to have fun while playing Raft, watching Kovo and Wufy do pretty much everything while I’m trying to help out (and learn at the same time).
Them taking all the resources for themselves and not leaving me with much. There was no control, no direction. It made me feel I was being ‘carried’ by the two. I wanted to help so badly, instead I felt I was doing the lesser jobs.
We get to the new content, I wanted to be the one to get Wufy know to drop the anchor. Instead, Kovo does it which I felt we could had gotten a bit closer. “It’s for pussies” Wufy says, which bothered my mind. Guess I’m a pussy then. :/ The two run for the new
content, Wufy saying “last one there is a rotten egg!” I’m better off as the rotten egg. Stayed behind and cooked potatoes while those two had fun checking out the new content. Fucking let them.. they’re doing all the work!! And this mindset got progressively worse of when they found how to do the new paddlewheels. Wufy said we needed to go
backwards, yet both didn’t understand why the wheel wasn’t spinning fast, feeling they left something at the new content.. I tried to say “we should go back” but got cut off by the Raft spinning out of control.
Since the two were fighting, I went over to the radar trying to adjust it so we could go back and try again (this time I was willing to go with them). I said “we should go back”
again, this time Wufy’s all “I’m pretty sure there’s nothing there” and telling me not to leave the radar on.
…Okay. That’s it. FUCK THIS!!! I’m DONE!! I don’t FUCKING CARE ANYMORE FOR THIS GAME!!! I am NOT having fun, I am being carried! I’m not LEARNING ANYTHING!!
Hid behind Kovo’s house and ‘went AFK’ to them. They assumed I was dealing with
drama, but I wanted to shut the server down, leave the call and close out Discord for the night, but that would cause more issues that I really don’t want to deal with.
So I worked on Unity instead, and saw the issues with the old model Jero used. I could see my player’s needs going down and just didn’t fucking care if I die from starvation. Maybe my corpse will glitch out of the world and crash the server. Then I hear Kovo saying he had some issues on Discord he had to deal with and said he needed to leave.
Wufy came up to me and asked if I wanted to stop playing and deal with my issues. The two were still assuming I was dealing with Discord drama with Fluffy or something.
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20 minutes after leaving the call, I explained the reason I left to Wufy. He’s all “I don’t understand why you feel this. You never ask to help.” ..I shouldn’t have to ask! I expect to be told to make things! And that’s been the theme when I got pulled back into the call to discuss this. But what was embarrassing as HELL, is Nigh was also in the call with us. And this is where the “it’s just a game” came from. I wanted to slam him to the ground for what I’ve been through in VRChat, and tell me this is a ‘game’.
I have NEVER had fun with any game I’ve ever played in my life. There is always something that gets under my skin and makes me refuse to say “oh well! It’s just a game!!” FUCK that shit!!!! I play to WIN, not for fun! And when I’m not in control of what I’m doing, I get pissed!
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And this is why I typically play on my own anymore. I don’t get along well with others, aka why I don’t have a job.