To explain what happened yesterday, would be like a huge rollercoaster (with myself and Ninja riding it); highs and lows. Then a semi-truck named ‘Fluffy’… crashes through it and takes Ninja away from me.
So yeah! Awesome day. Would had been a really good day if it wasn’t for Fluffy ruining everything. I was on the verge of kicking him out of the group and blocking him… still might do that.
He is going to FIX the mess he created, or I will never speak to him again. This is next
level FUCKED UP!!
–
But, let’s talk about the good things that happened first.
First off, I got a.. somewhat sound sleep. Was having bodily problems ‘down under’ (if you get what I mean).
Having to change my pants twice in one night, a most unpleasant thing.. time to pull out the Pepto-Bismol! With that taken care of, I noticed Ninja was online. However I was busy typing out yesterday’s blog post of the day before.
Finishing up, I joined him but didn’t see him in the world. I heard him, but didn’t see him. He was on the roof, trying to help someone not hurt themself. A few friends were here (but AFK), so I waited for Ninja to finish with his talk. But he never did. Infact he went to a private world with the person and a few others who were also trying to help the person.
Shoot was here at the time, and I stayed with him for awhile.
Now before I continue, I must warn you folks that due to so much happening, my mind has forgotten the times it happened (if it happened before or after dinner). I can only remember certain things that happened;
–Discovered Garruk is Shoot’s RP… mother?! WTF?!?! lmao
–I found a new homeworld while trying to hang with friends who weren’t in the world. It’s filled with Anime stuff, but I like the design of the house. And it has a pettable doggo. I’m sold. 🙂
–Talked to Red Fox about the whole ‘ghosting’ thing. He said everything’s fine and he still loves me. Said Discord never notified him of the messages I sent him, and he’s been busy at work. So, he has now risen past Fluffy (who has fallen to near the ‘CRITICAL’ level for what he did to me).
-Hung out with lots of Ninja’s friends. My lord, now I see where he got his lewd side.
-Watched some movies with Shoot. Muum also joined. And speaking of Muum, I discovered he’s taken (has a GF). Had a feeling.
================
Now I can talk about what lead up to the shitshow with Fluffy (that had DJ, Aftershock and Lunar involved.. and nearly Wufy if I didn’t act quickly). Like I said I was with Ninja’s friends, and then Fluffy joined the instance. I saw Kovo online and felt it was time for Ninja to go meet him.
Dropped a portal and we did so. There were a LOT of people here.. more than the world can handle, and this caused him to crash once. And one time Fluffy was running away for some bizarre reason. He was lagging bad too, and ran all the way to the server border (and off of it). Ninja talked to me about this, mentioning that Fluffy has feelings for him. But I never knew he had ‘those’ kind of feelings.
He also told me that he wanted time to look for someone else (and I was kind of getting in the way of that). I apologized for it and said I would give him space. Even though he really likes me, he wants that IRL relationship really bad (that I can never give with my current living conditions). And about that guy I mentioned the day before (how it looked like I wouldn’t be his BF anymore)? …The guy is 51. Yes, 8 years older than me. That is insane!!
–
We’re now playing games (he’s being the invisible monster while I and a few others are trying to kill it. Was a lot of fun). Then Fluffy rejoins and joins me and him. Ninja’s now feeling that maybe he should give Fluffy a chance.
…Wait what?! But you’re inlove with me! If you go for Fluffy, he would be stealing you from me! But I also didn’t know what to say to him (so I said nothing). And.. he gave him a chance. I tried to hide the pain I’m now going through. This is fucked UP!! Fluffy was supposed to replace Jero (for me)! ..Not be inlove with the one that I’M inlove with!! That’s the SECOND fucking time he’s done this! First with Blue, now with Ninja! And I don’t think I will ever forgive him for doing this.
Talking to DJ who’s at the mirror about this. I cut it short when I see Fluffy and Ninja running up to me… and making out infront of me. FLUFFY, WHAT THE HELL!! This is NOT OK!! First you steal my BF, now you’re doing this!
Aftershock was surprisingly in a joinable world, so I go join him. I have to, this is really bad what he just did. But he’s with Lunar and a few others. I tried talking to just Aftershock, but the others want to know what’s going on and I run off. Aftershock follows me (with a friend). I calm the fuck down and kindly tell the friend that I would like to have a private conversation with Aftershock.
Start explaining the situation. DJ joins the instance (wanting to know what’s going on). So I explain up to where I told Aftershock. Then both of them are having issues with their computer; DJ with Steam crashing on him, and Aftershock with heavy studdering (what I was getting too with this world). Both left the instance, and I waited for one of them to come back.
It was DJ that did first, and we kept explaining. Lunar was becoming active at the time and DJ was messing with her (with the whole ‘she doesn’t feel she’s cute’ thing). Then Fluffy joined. At first I wanted to avoid him, then I felt “he must be here to tell me he’s sorry. Let’s hear him out”. Acted like he had no idea what’s going on. I’m looking away from
him, saying how he stole Ninja from me. I turn around… OH FUCK– Ninja! When did you get in here?!
Knowing he heard every word, I immediately got out of that world… feeling it’s over for me, that I fucked up majorly (he’ll never speak to me again over this, etc etc). Friend joined the instance (who had no idea what’s going on). I did my best to smile through the pain in my mind. Lunar then joined, followed by DJ (wanting answers from me). But both felt compassionate when I said how I had to get the fuck out of that instance.
–
Can’t remember what happened next, only that I went back to the world (but avoided going into the building where they were). Lunar caught up to me, wanting to ‘kill Fluffy’ for what happened to me. Aftershock joined the instance and I was able to explain the rest (in a new instance). Friends+ is a bad idea, but Lunar ran in.
Fluffy joined us, as I feared. Lunar was getting very upset over Fluffy’s actions (saying “I’m gonna kill him! I’m gonna kill him!!”). So there were two arguments going on. The first one was Fluffy keeping Lunar blocked for no reason, and the other was this.
Thankfully, Ninja never joined the instance.
So Fluffy tells me that I took Ninja from him. HOW?! Ninja didn’t even fucking KNOW you at the time!! Do NOT lie to me, Fluffy!! Then he tries to apologize. No, not this time. You will fix the mess you created. Yet I feel the damage is already done and I’m probably ‘stuck’ with the group again.
And that’s basically it (of this) that I can say. As for the whole thing with Lunar, the two were forced to become friends again and talk it out. I’m glad Aftershock was joinable when I needed someone to talk to.
—
Today, Ninja wanted to talk to me (shockingly). But he wasn’t mad at me, only a bit confused on what he should do about Fluffy. He wants Fluffy to be happy, but hears my frustration over the whole thing. He also wanted to talk to me about, us. He felt we were going a bit too far, and he was feeling really strong feelings for me.
So either way, Ninja was planning to just be friends with me, and apologized for hurting me. No Ninja, this isn’t your fault. This was never your fault. You made a few mistakes and so did I (for just wanting to have someone I could call my own, once again).
…Wtf happened to what I said before, how I was going to put my foot down to this? I can never truly be happy, with how old I am and my current living conditions. They will always keep me from finding true love.
I should just accept I have Cola, Blue and Red who love me very much. It’ll never be true love like Jero (and the others that came before him), but it’s the closest I’ll ever have.
As for Fluffy… I dunno. I don’t know.
I truly am disappointed of what he did. This, is a new low. I should just kick him out of the group (and permablock). I should had listened to Sunset. He was right.
But I feel it’s best to follow Aftershock’s lead when it comes to this. All I do know, is Fluffy’s going to have to prove he’s sorry to me. Acting like Jero isn’t going to cut it anymore (as he failed to do that). I would had never thought of wanting true love with someone like Ninja, if I was happy with Fluffy. That is the honest truth.. I would had said to Ninja:”I’m sorry, you’re a sweet guy.. but I’m in a group, and I have to stay true to
them.”
.
As to what he needs to change, the list is too long and too complicated to put into words. And, I don’t think he can ever fix it. As I said before, I feel he has ADHD or something else. And words aren’t going to fix that… myself tolerating it, will. And I have done my best to tolerate it. But I’m at my breaking point.
Fluffy is too young to understand what true love feels like (nomatter how much I’ve tried to hammer it into his head, he’ll never GET IT why this shit keeps happening to him)! He refuses to accept responsibility, and won’t think before reacting.
What makes things worse (on him) is he won’t DO anything to make sure this never happens again! SICK of these fake promises he never keeps! THIS is why I feel blocking him is the only answer.
He’s a nice guy, but he’s got a LOT to fix about him.