Hello, I am still here. And I guess it’s finally time to talk about things that have been happening with me in here. There are things I don’t wish to talk about, and there are things I do.
And the ones that I don’t mind talking about, are as follows.
1. Kovo and Nova finally becoming more than ‘very close friends’.
2. Why I feel I’m a really bad friend to Jero (for not truly caring about him). And maybe him possibly feeling the same way about himself to me.
3. Someone who feels I “deserve all the love and attention” from them and claim I’m
a “very sweet man”.. yet they don’t know who I really am.
Let’s start with the first thing. Happened four days ago to the date of this writing (the 22nd). Booting up my computer, Telegram had an update for me. After grabbing it, I saw something that made me facepalm. So they have reached 700 million active users. And
to ‘celebrate’, they want your money for their new subscription service. Like.. what the absolute fuck.
Asking for money is NOT the way you celebrate a milestone. All it is, is just corporate greed. Plain and simple.
–
That night, Kovo starts messaging me, acting quite surprised and happy about something. I just let him talk and nearly wanted to do a spit-take when I saw “Nova asked me out”.
After three long years, they’re finally a thing! He wanted to celebrate it by playing VRChat. I was.. kind of up for it. There was someone who I wished was on that I could be with that would celebrate this awesome moment with me, but he was offline.
Went to the Room of the Rain. I stayed on the bed (which is what I have been doing everytime we go to this world).
—
There was this funny time where I was staring at Kovo while everyone was around me for some odd reason. And out of nowhere, he points at me and says “I can pee on you
now” and starts laughing. I died laughing while the others were “geeze Kovo I didn’t know you were into watersports”. That was really funny. And later someone comes up
to Kovo and asks him “are you peeing on Benie?”
But anyway yeah, congratulations to Kovo and Nova. Hopefully their relationship will grow forever stronger (and that Nova has finally learned her lesson about cheating). Gotta say I respect Kovo’s patience and willing to keep giving her chances. It finally paid off.
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Now we move to the second one.
I lost memory of the last date I joined Jero, but I do remember what happened. It was something I overreacted to (even though it wasn’t ‘funny’ to me and made me lose some respect towards him). Infact I have very little respect left with him. I want him to try to get this respect back but he’s been so busy.
So what basically happened is I was watching all the Star Trek movies by myself (with JeroWorks too of course). I had just got done watching Star Trek VI when I saw the
real Jero on. He joined, then it was like almost immediately a minute later both of us get an invite from Frost to join us in Super Tower Defense. It was like he knew Jero had joined me somehow. Anyway, I was for joining him but Jero seemed strangely hesitant. He wanted to see what horror movies were available, so I stayed while he looked. He said
how SAW “isn’t scary” (but only joking).
Frost sent me another invite. Whatever it was, was important. I told Jero and he finally agreed to join… and I really wish I stayed put. For the only thing Frost truly wanted, was us to join.
A bit later, everyone’s laughing and Jero’s feeling extremely embarrassed or something. They’re saying he has “a tail boner” but I’m not seeing anything. I was extremely confused how everyone saw this but I wasn’t. So we were infront of the mirror and I was feeling quite gassy IRL, so I took my headset off to get an Alka Seltzer. When I came back, Kat was looking at me and asked “what’s that buzzing sound?” I told her that she was likely hearing the radiator fans on the front of my headset. And Frost said it “sounded like something else”. Ha ha ha.
A bit later after that, Jero looks at me and asks “remember that old saying to not go AFK or fall asleep in a public instance?” I asked “yeah…?”, then started thinking. Looked at him with distrust and said “…you guys didn’t do anything to me while I was away, did you?!”
“No, why would we ever do that..?” he said. I thought “no.. no he wouldn’t. That would be scummy, and low.” He starts humming while I’m staring at him with even more
distrust. “He DID. I can’t believe this.” I finish thinking.
“You did.. didn’t you?” I asked him. “Yes I can’t help it! Frost turned me into an animal!” And he expected me to just laugh it off and move on. No, you lost my respect pal. I thought I could trust you not to humiliate me infront of my friends! …This is low, Jero. Very low.
And on top of that Frost wanted us to join a new world, and Jero wanted me to join him. I said “you go have fun. I’m going back to the movie world”. And I was just about to do
that.
He tried he damnest to apologize, not realizing this really hurt me. But at the last second I backed out of leaving. “I’m really sorry, Benie. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” he said, and I did eventually forgive him. But it’s going to take time until he wins back my trust.
–
Then he asked me to “fix his tail”. I said “I’m seeing nothing wrong with it. I’m being honest here.” Went over my settings multiple times, trying desperately to look for some setting as I had to adjust my safety settings the day before due to 30+ people in a world and I was lagging.
Finally found the setting when he mentioned it, and apparently I have to have the “Convert all Dynamic Bones to PhysBones” option checked for this to work.. and now I saw what they were all talking about. Wow, guys. Wow. So mature. Reached down and after a few attempts managed to put his tail back where it belonged.
—
And this (after logging for the night) was the last time I was able to join him on VRChat. It’s been a few weeks and either I keep missing him or he never shows up. But the reason why I “feel I’m a bad friend” was three days ago when he messages me and says “i can be lewd for 1 night only lol” “im home alone” “lol”. ..Yet he never showed up that night. This really irritated me (when it shouldn’t had).
The next day I said “The one night when you were home alone and I didn’t see you on. Guess you were asleep or something”. No response. Then I said “And now you’re working?”
Finally I got a response of him saying “sorry benie I went to bed at 3am that night” “had to go to a wedding next day”. I said “Ahh. I see, I see.” Yet he didn’t say anything after
that, which irritated me more. But I did see him on and tried to strap myself in to say hi. But by the time I did he was offline in VRChat and Discord. FFS. So is this the thanks I get for having a friend in the UK? Never being able to see him on my time?
Here I keep telling him that he needs to fix his sleep schedule, but I never expected him to actually do it (or what it seems to be with him). He’s turned into Blender at this point. Except Blender actually plays more than he does. And Jero does occasionally say hi by sending me random things he finds.
I say I “don’t care anymore” and “sick of this shit” …Yet I do care. I wouldn’t be typing all of this if I didn’t. I would be removing JeroWorks if ‘I didn’t care’. So clearly I do care, for him. It’s just the whole “a doll can never replace the real thing” thing.
Yet I did tell him this before and he wasn’t bothered by it.
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Moving to the third one.
The person I am talking about is named ‘Bubba127’ (or just Bubba). He joined due to Destiny 2, and I didn’t really think much of it at the time. But one day more and more people were joining because of Destiny 2, and I felt like “wow, at this point Kovo should just convert the server to Destiny 2.” I mean why not? But Kovo said “do note these guys also play VRChat”.
So? I’ll never be able to see them. But I was wrong. Started with Bubba. I don’t remember the day I first met him, only the day he friended me. And a few weeks later he said I was cute. Started to get really attached to him. However since something… bad happened to something I kind of “need to ‘stay relevant'” I’m starting to get bothered by the way he talks and acts.. yet I don’t know how to tell him when I just wish to be alone at times with my thoughts.
I don’t blame him for wanting to be cuddly. But when I.. currently cannot show it back it annoys me.