Currently tying this blog post in VRChat, from my homeworld, in full body, sitting up and using XSOverlay to type this (all alone as I prefer to be right now).
Remember myself saying “no more love drama” because of being in an open relationship? Love drama has a really ‘funny’ way of showing itself. And this one comes in the form of how I don’t feel Blender’s “keeping his bargain”, by apparently being quite busy (too busy to even spend 10 minutes with me (ingame) before someone else is inviting him).
Wish he told me prior to agreeing of getting back together, that he’s been busy doing favors. He could had used it to say “I’m sorry Benie, but…”, yet he said nothing like that.
But it’s just ‘Blender being Blender’ again… *sighs*
Wait.. he’s wanting to join me? What a strange quiescence. There’s no way he could be reading this as I type it. Took time off writing this and asked him “just why are you so busy lately? Are you doing commissions?” Another reason why I asked is I feel getting back together should had failed, as he told me the one that would had been his BF gave him a model (that he showed off). Felt ashamed, that I should had done this. Then again I can’t do 3D modeling. so…
Anyway, he told me he’s just “wanting to be nice” by also trying to improve himself in Blender work and animating. He’s even working on a world in Blender. Then he tells me to get up and come with him to see someone. Meh, sure I guess. Before he left, he said to “try to join me”. I sent two invite requests, and nothing. …Okay then. *shrug* Didn’t really want to join anyway, as it’ll likely just be another world with people I don’t know and I’m going to sit around bored as fuck, staying silent to not draw attention to myself.
–
I prepare to send him one more invite, this time typing in “Are you going to invite me or what?” as an invite send response. Halfway in, Telegram grabs my attention. Blender’s messaging me there and says “Didn’t know it was invite only…” I said “Hmm. Well that’s fine. You have fun alright?” He claimed he’ll hurry back when he can.
Went back to listening to music and going back to work on this blog post (that I’m now editing in places). I honestly enjoyed the quiet. Earlier, I was with Orwin to see what he’s doing. Wish I didn’t, which caused me to be in this slightly sour mood. While nothing happened there (just kept to myself mostly and writing a blog post), I once again ‘felt out of place’ and just wanted to be alone (when they started talking about IRL stuff).
It’s good Blender’s doing all of this for himself. Wish I had that same effort.
All I can say is.. despite semi-intentionally fucking my life (and health) up, I’m glad I have friends like Blender and Jero to get me by. Because Blender kept his promise and stayed with me pretty much all night. Jero even joined (shockingly, at 3am. I had assumed he went to bed by then).
It’s like the two knew I was depressed and wanted to help fix that by making me laugh, and they did. Blender showing us some videos (and I need to find a new homeworld because you sadly cannot turn off the world sound), and it was pretty good. He even remembered what VictonRoy suggested to him (but I didn’t want him to make a big deal about); doing a texture that looks like my sona with the Drexouium model and sent me both the model and the texture. That is really nice of him. 🙂 Going to get this uploaded tomorrow evening.
So that’s about it for this day.