Half good news, half bad (yet also good) news. But all I can really say is, I guess my chances of getting back together with Mibit are pretty much gone now as he’s changing his life (and his name) next year.
Why am I saying this? Well.. this is Blender’s last chance to stop trying and actually change his life around. Why him, and not me? My life doesn’t affect anyone else’s (I’ve made sure of that). His. does. Though his life may be more chaotic than I’m thinking.
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Blender takes control of his life
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Way before I’ve met him, he’s been having sleep issues. But that’s not the only problem here. Remember how I said before I want him to take control of the relationship so I won’t feel I’m controlling him against his will? Keeps saying he’ll “try” but he never does. Yes it sounds familiar… to me. But we’re not really talking about me here. Well, in this sense anyway.
I have been losing interest in Blender. Thing is, I dunno if this is even related or what this originated from. I can only assume it’s him, but it’s not just Blender I’m losing interest in. I’m losing interest in talking to people and staying in one world for a long time. Similar to Garruk. And this is been happening more often. I’ve been wanting to talk to someone I could trust about this and get advice on what I should do, but it feels noone’s available.
A few nights ago, Blender was in Stray’s Theatre. Went to go see him, but as soon as I saw him I ran back outside and wanted to hide. Didn’t know why. And I kept doing this for awhile.
Someone saw me and told Blender where I was. Ran back outside again. Didn’t see Blender run outside to look for me. Felt thankful. Then I told myself “what the fuck are you doing? If that was Jero, you’d be running in there without hesitation. You’d join a public world just to be with him… why can’t you do this for Blender?” I didn’t have an answer. I guess his personality is starting to get on my nerves? …I don’t know. I really don’t know. It’s annoying to not know. What the fuck is making me lose my interest, to where I want to avoid him!? My mind sometimes feels he’s going to make up excuses of why he’s not able to do this and that, similar to Jero.
But I think the likely cause is him being with friends instead of wanting to be with me (and then we can meet his friends). He rarely checks his friends lists. And when he’s with a friend and goes to see me, I tell him “you should be with your friends”. And he swears he just wants to be with me.. yet he can’t do this when I join? I pay attention to my friends lists. Why can’t he? You don’t need a mod to let you know. You just need to know what’s more important in your life.
Claims he loves me, and he can’t live without me. But when he’s with friends that gets thrown out the window. I’m treated like another friend. So I treat him as a friend. This might explain the entire thing– including the ‘dull’ feeling I’ve been having.
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Going back to what happened inside Stray’s Theatre, a few hours had passed since then. Blender’s getting tired and saying he is. Said “tired people go to bed”. Orion was with me at the time and we were both trying to enforce him to sleep.
I was talking to Orion about how annoying this has gotten and stuff like that. Blender heard every word and felt ashamed, saying he could understand why we are upset. Orion tried to explain that no, we aren’t but trying to beat this into his head of when to get a proper sleep. When Blender left, I discussed the entire thing that’s been on my mind with Orion. I just couldn’t hold it back anymore; had to get it off my chest.
“Sounds like you two need a break.” Orion suggested to me. Hmm.. that just might work! I added onto this idea, wanting to tell Blender how I’m going to give him one last chance to be more communicative (and us to play other games besides just VRChat). Because I’m getting bored with this game (similar to what Mibit told me). I want to do
something else than VRChat all the time. And this just might spice things up. Man I hope at least.
The next day, I felt “I guess we need to have another talk” and discussed that Orion and I didn’t find him annoying, only that he doesn’t get it that sleep is extremely important to him, and said I feel we need to take a break. Started opening up more, explaining the pain I’ve felt with this entire thing (the silence mainly in Discord). Overall I just wanted him to stop being… ME– stop the empty promises to change. And I’m not asking him to completely change his life, only to make a schedule like Mibit has.
I want him to learn how to balance: time with friends/time with me/Blender & Animation work for his CEC thing/being part of streams/sleep. And he actually did, even picking a time we’ll play SoT or other games. This is good. He’s actually becoming responsible for his actions and doing something about it. I’m happy for him.
Now if only he’ll fix the issue with not being able to unlock his true love, to be more observant when I’m on and wanting to see me instead of me wanting to see him. But I am thankful for three things.
1 . He’s very easy to discuss issues with, unlike Wolfdog.
2. He admits when he’s wrong and is trying to fix his mistakes, because he wants this to work very badly.
2a. He’s not saying they aren’t happening/pulling the “we should just be friends because I can’t change simple aspects in my love life” card (unlike Wolfdog or Jero).
3. He’s not overly horny (unlike Fluffy).
I’m giving him a month from the time he made his schedule (October 20th). If I don’t see an improvement by then, it’s over. It might be even sooner than that, depending on my mood.
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‘Professional’ Asshole Pirates
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Was around 5pm when we finally got into SoT yesterday, as Blender didn’t have the game updated and I didn’t have him added to my Steam friends list. So we didn’t really do much.
We spent nearly a half an hour just on resource grabbing (need to fix that). Went to Crescent Isle as that’s where my Gold Hoarder quest was telling me to go to. Didn’t have enough time to dig up the chest, but we did get a few loose items.
Made it back to an outpost by 6:02pm. Two minutes past dinnertime for me, sold everything and hopped off.
It was 9pm by the time I became available. Two reason why it took me so long;
1. My mother wanted me to look for an electric blanket for myself, as she’s worried I’m freezing to death in the mornings with how the cat has my heater and how we can’t have more than one portable heater plugged in and on at anytime in this house.
2. I told Blender when I got back, I’d stream SoT to give him something to do.
Blender seemed to not grasp the second thing fully, so I asked him “are you saying you wanna play again?” He said “I guess, yeah”. So we did. Another 30 minutes passed of setting up.
As we were setting up, this friendly foe showed up.
Oh hello skeleton ship! It was daring us to move from the dock. Told Blender “it’s not going to attack us if we don’t move, and it should go away.” ..Yet I wasn’t sure of my own words of how long this ship stayed there. But we kept gathering resources. Eventually it did fuck off….. phew!! Looks like I was right. 👍
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We hit the open ocean, right when Blender’s mother needed him. And guess where we were headed? ..Crescent Isle. This time, a map with two X’s. Double the treasure! 😄
As we approached the shore (me driving and Blender being my navigator), noticed a skeleton ship on one side of the island, and a player ship with two flags on the top and one on the back. Huh.. embassy ship. Wanted to keep my eye on it while Blender looked for the treasure. It headed to the outpost we left from.
Thought we were OK for the time being, so I found and dug up the two treasure chests. As I was bringing the second chest onboard our ship, took a look at that embassy ship again. Blender had found a message in a bottle and asked me if he should grab it. I said yes, and he did and kept exploring… though he really should had gotten back to the ship as I continued to watch the other ship.
Suddenly I saw them turn toward us. “Blender get on the ship! GET ON THE SHIP!!!” I yelled. I waited for Blender to come as they got closer and closer to us. He did and we tried to get out of there. They fired a cannon and Blender assumed it was a cannonball, instead I saw a person. Oh no, they’re going to board us. Told Blender to get ready, but the asshole somehow managed to get behind me and attacked, catching me off-guard. I had no time to react before I was dead. Blender joined me in death.
I noticed they were using pirate chat, saying “both dead anchor down”.. great, we’re dealing with skilled pirates. When we got back, we heard cannonfire. They were trying to sink our ship, and wouldn’t let me back on.
I tried a tactic, swam over to their ship and see if I can’t do what they did to me. But my mouse hand was doing that panic shake and I couldn’t react right. Died again. Saw “enemy here!” in pirate chat.
…They think we’re ENEMIES?! You’re the assholes that are raiding us!!! Ok, where in the fuck is the button for voice chat?? Couldn’t find it, and when I did and respawned, I respawned on a foggy island.
So; a half an hour of prep work, then going to the island, digging the chests up, bringing them to the ship… only to lose them to skilled assholes. That’s.. that’s just great. Just. fucking. GREAT. Half of me wanted to ragequit, but the other half told the first half to calm down and think about this.
Eventually, the second half managed to succeed. Blender wanted to take a break. But taking a break isn’t going to get our stuff back. …And we’re not going to GET our stuff back without Orion being there. But I didn’t want him to get involved in this.
Instead I remembered Blender finding that message in a bottle– our saving grace. We could use that quest to pretty much “try again”. Sure it won’t be the same goldmine we got before, but we’ll get something out of it. That’s what matters. This is all the name of the game. You win some and you can lose.. everything. That’s the pirate’s life.
But that doesn’t mean ‘game over’, as the ‘continue’ button is still there to try again. I pressed it and try again we did, with limited supplies. The message (more like a
riddle) ironically took us right back to the island where the chaos started.
Still remember a quarter after we left the island we spawned on, I saw the embassy ship in the distance. ..Not this time, assholes. I steered away, and thankfully they never turned around. They likely did see us, but they already had (or likely sold) our stuff. At least they’re not true assholes.
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We got back to the island. Blender was on watch while we sailed in. No ships at all. Halfway as both of us searched for the treasure following the riddle, I saw a Sloop but thankfully it was friendly. We got a few gems and stuff but told Blender to get them off the ship and hide them on the island… just incase. So if they sink our ship again, they’ll get nothing from it. Fucking should had done that before with the chests– used the ship as bait and moved the chests to another location of the island. This game truly brings the worst out of people.
Anyway, managed to find the chest. Luckily, it was a container chest. Managed to get our loot in. Had Blender run out to the ship and search for any ships before we bring the chest onboard. He saw nothing. It was smooth sailing back to the outpost.
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Glad it all worked out at the end. Sure, there was that… ‘sudden stop’, but we didn’t give up. I’m glad my mind didn’t give up. I reminded myself what Orion and Kovo would say and how “that’s normal. Part of the game”. And the more I thought about it, the more I felt giving it another go was worth it.
Later that evening (in VRChat), was talking to Orion about the ordeal. He believes the ones that raided us were streamers, and around the time we played was when they’re mostly active. So… good to know. Makes sense. Note not to play SoT after 7pm.
He also said I should’ve used a tactic called “kegging”– strapping a bunch of powder keys to the front of the ship and rammed them. After I do, set off the kegs. This would had caused fire to their ship (but also mine). But I’m no underhanded pirate. …I dunno.