Didn’t come on VRChat all day, all because I was too depressed with Jero still having issues with his computer (being unable to get on). Yet I feel like an idiot after all of this time (for worrying about him), realizing he himself is unintentionally the reason
why.
Just.. wow. Jero. Honey. It is never a good idea to reinstall the ISSUE that has been plaguing you!! I pray when he gets the new key, that’s all there is to it.. and he didn’t destroy $1,600 worth of computer parts.
–
Meanwhile, Fluffy. Yep, opening that can of drama again. And again, he is still. butthurt… over me leaving him as a lover!!
To compare him with myself (how I couldn’t get over Jero), I declare myself (during that time) to be more tame. Well, sure I was going in here to complain instead of someone
else.
Anyway, let’s begin.
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Longest relationship since Wuffer
Categories: ‘Personal’, ‘Love Drama’
Today marks three weeks since I started dating Jero. Wow is the time flying. This makes the relationship a half a week longer than I dated Wuffer. And no I’m not going to do this every week. I just see this being a milestone.
I’m just happy it’s lasted this long. Let’s try for a month! Two months! 6 months!! A year!!
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The truth comes out
Categories: ‘Personal’, ‘Drama’, ‘Love Drama’
Sorry to end the above so quickly, but something’s come up that makes the above, feel like a distant memory.
It’s going to be one of those days, where I listen to slow music. Started off as another one of those heated arguments with Fluffy (and even telling Jero that I’m “going to
block (Fluffy) if he keeps this up.” Yet I never saw a drama bomb so large, that it hurt my very soul.
In VR while also in general chat (Jero’s there), waiting for Jero to hopefully come in VRChat or do something, I’m also talking to Fluffy again who has a headache from what happened that day. I wanted to ask Jero if he could come ingame, but I didn’t want to bother him (plus he was muted/deafened).
When he came back, is when Fluffy dropped a massive drama bomb on my head. I–I had so much trouble trying to figure out what the hell was happening.
Seeing that picture…
This is what happened in my head.
Jero clearly has NO idea what I’ve been through (with Fluffy). Feel I’ve been stabbed in the back. I thought he was on my side. I, assumed he was getting annoyed by Fluffy’s actions. Hell, he’s doing more than I did when I actually cared back then.
*sigh* I wish Aftershock could come and show him what I’ve been through, that what Fluffy’s doing is trying to make me look bad. Even if Fluffy isn’t intentionally doing
that, his words and actions are.
–
This is exactly what I feared would happen. The next thing that’s going to happen, Jero’s going to have a talk about family stability and myself being a bad father. You wanna know why I feel this is going to happen? The way he acted in that voice chat. He was getting ready to go to bed, saying “goodnight guys”.. as if I’m a friend and not his lover. He was going to leave without even saying “I love you” to me. I had to ‘remind’ him that we’re still dating, by saying “love you!” Then he finally said “I wuv you too”.
That, is telling me, I’m a problem in his eyes. So why not just leave and be alone? Let Jero take custody of Fluffy. I want Fluffy to be happy. I can no longer make him happy with how my mind won’t let go of what he did in the past.. especially how he’s still fucking butthurt the fact we’re no longer lovers.
Since Jero obviously won’t believe me that Fluffy is a toxic kid, then.. I give up on this relationship.
Fluffy however is all “NOOO!!! NO PAPA!! DON’T DO THIS!!”
Why should I fucking not!? Huh? This is what you wanted, Fluffy; to ruin my happiness because you’re not happy, by turning Jero against me. He claims that’s not what he’s doing, that he never wanted any of this to happen (and trying to show me this isn’t my fault).
Meh. Even if this isn’t your plan, I see you’re better off with Jero. Not me. You’re actually getting the love you want. You’re not scared of him. Plus, families are supposed to be united. I never even wanted a son; Jero talked me into it.
I’m clearly the weakest link, and have no business being here. I am not father material. I do not get along with kids. If this is what Jero expects me to be, then I’m sorry. You might as well let me go.
The only thing that’s going to save me from leaving, is if Jero doesn’t see myself as a problem and still loves me regardless. But I also want him to change, to start saying “hey hun” instead of “hey Bennie”.. and also acting like he loves me. It’s been three weeks. Come on. Sometimes he does, but that was a week ago. I’d like to see more of it.
Even Suppy showed more love and appreciation, and we weren’t even dating. It feels sad.
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EDIT, 2/5/19: Had this weird-ass dream of a new kind a weapon that could be placed on your cheek, and start affecting your throat to the point it suffocates you. It caused me to wake up in a sweat. I think that dream was caused by how I was sleeping, because my neck feels weird now.
Anyway, sorry for saying that. Just it’s been so long since I had a dream.. more like a nightmare. Thankfully, what happened yesterday evening was the opposite of one.
–
Jero was on his phone yesterday. I asked him if Fluffy told him about what happened. After a bit of a wait, he said “No”. Huh, guess I assumed wrong. So.. *clears
throat* Jero, we need to have a talk then. When he questioned what’s going on, I told him of the picture Fluffy sent me. He assumed Fluffy took it and pulled a Chris, told him no.
Then told him all about what I went through with Fluffy (left nothing back).
“awww dont worry bennie no one can give me a bad impression of you not even fluffy. i love u and promise im allways here for u.”
Those three little words, mean so much at a time like this. It was then, when I felt as if an enormous burden has been lifted from my chest.
He loves me, regardless of what happened with Fluffy. I said this would be ‘the only
way’ it’ll stop me, and it definitely has.. I no longer blame myself.
Then I changed the subject to how I would like him to show he truly loves me (by saying ‘hey hun’); kindly reminding him that we’ve been dating for three weeks now (which is awesome).
“sorry hun : )
ill do my best to remember”
Ahhh.. I love you so much, Jero. : ) Any remaining doubts I had of you, are gone.
—
Later, I told Fluffy that I had a talk with Jero, and that I’m “sorry I’m not the father I once was. But that doesn’t mean I don’t care for you completely.”
Fluffy responds saying that he too had a long talk with Jero. He doubled down with how this was never my fault, himself taking the blame. It is your fault, Fluffy. I wanted to just be your father after Jero left me months ago, then you wanted more… because you were hungry for love; trying to take Blue from me when you were in the group (multiple
times).
And it seems, after months of arguing with me, he finally understands what he did wrong. Let’s never, EVER have another argument like that, again.
And Jero? Thank you for being on my side.