Yet another blog post related to drama. Let’s get this going…
My relationship with Jero grows every day, but there’s one thing that is jeopardizing to end it all — a threat even worse than last week’s hacker/spy games — a force that was often ignored and left unchecked, feeling there’s no threat with them.
And the face of this threat is… myself, of all the things I said to Fluffy.
There are things I’m not proud of saying (at all). And I fear these are going to be used against me by Fluffy, and make Jero leave me. He kept warning of consequences, yet I felt he’s still butthurt over me letting him go when we were lovers (especially when he said I ‘destroyed’ him).
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Setup: snuggling Jero in Cyber’s Kobold world (while he’s snuggling me). He suddenly says “Hey Benie, can we talk in private?”
When your sweetheart wants to talk in private, usually it’s a bad thing. Muted myself in VRChat as me and him (also Kovo) were in the voice chat. “It’s about Fluffy” he said.
*facepalm* …What does he want? Of course I didn’t say it like that. He said it was something about how he(Fluffy) didn’t want to offend me and stuff and wanted to hang out with him, saying he trusts him.
*sighs* Trust is earned Fluffy.. and he lost it with me. But I told Jero my side of the story. And before I finished, he said “I could help you”. “You could?” I asked, surprised.
“We’ve been parents before.” ….I failed as a parent. 🙁 He’s saying we could talk to him as parents about this.
Yes, that’s just what I want. …You to leave me over what I’ve said to Fluffy over the months. Was this Fluffy’s elaborate plan for mentioning “consequences”, to take away all my happiness just because this asshat isn’t with me in a relationship!? I swear if it is, and Jero leaves me.. Fluffy will pay, DEARLY.
But if it isn’t (which seems more likely, as Fluffy isn’t that evil)… the problem is myself. And if Jero leaves……., it’ll be on my hands (not Fluffy’s).
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This is why development of JeroWorks is on hold, pending the outcome of this discussion. And myself, feeling like I now have to be nice to Fluffy (so Jero doesn’t leave me). At least that was my original thought, until I let him speak his mind. Decided to let go of these despise feelings and try to be a caring parent again (for Jero). And hopefully it’ll work when the discussion happens.
Who knows, maybe he’ll pull a miracle and bring the caring I had for Fluffy, back to life. Because I can’t ask Aftershock ever again. Fluffy blocked him (yet again), so its completely understandable why he doesn’t want to get involved.