A hell of a week
….What the FUCK HAPPENED to this week?! Was hoping for a quiet week after what I went through with a certain green-eyed British guy who had once melted my heart everytime he spoke.. lying to me and his BF (by not coming clean of why we broke
up), and the headaches that lead up to a certain wolf-rabbit hybrid with a paw on their forehead (and a love for pineapple pizza/shooting people with Airsoft guns)… leaving the group (probably over the drama that he caused me).
Managed to remove their avatars from my project folder. Though the other one is a bit harder as their files are pretty much everywhere.
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So this has to do with something that has been going on for at least a month now, with Fluffy, Ruffy, and myself. And the 20th, is a day I probably won’t forget for a very long time; for it’s the day that I have never been so scared (by a single person in an online game) in my entire life. Yet at the same time, I feel he was feeding off of my fear.. which is really fucked up.
Started on Sunday (the 15th). Fluffy’s acting strange, and Ruffy tells me that Fluffy’s wanting to get back with him. Fluffy tells me how I wanted him to find someone his
age. That is true, but I haven’t said that any time recently.
Since then, things went quiet for a day. The day after that, Ruffy’s calling me a pedophile and telling me to stay away from Fluffy. This is when I told him how I was doing Fluffy “a favor” and how I wanted out of this mess. I assumed Ruffy would do something about it to help me out with it.
Friday, Fluffy’s still calling me a cutie. Uhh.. Ruffy. I thought you were going to help me. You want me to get away from Fluffy, then please help. I say this when I’m at Burger King trying to enjoy my dinner. This is getting quite ugly, and then he does something that chills me to the bone; threatening to call the authorities if I don’t block Fluffy… I had no choice, I had to block him and then rush home as he only gave me an hour until he would do it (to get on VRChat.com and block him there).
After I told him I blocked Fluffy there, and asked if we could “walk away from this” as I was living in pure fear that I’ve never felt in my life. Told me to not talk to Fluffy ever again that everything would be fine.. but I couldn’t think straight after that. I had contemplated on suicide. That’s how absolutely terrified I was, fearing it would still happen.
I was able to speak to Kovo about it (ingame in a private world). He feels Ruffy is
unstable, and that they forgot Fluffy’s 18th birthday is a few days away. Said I did the right thing by blocking Fluffy and to give it a few days, but I still felt very scared. Then I suddenly felt to forget I ever talked to them and pretend nothing ever happened. Yet Kovo felt I should be “prepared” incase Ruffy decides to lie and screw me with how unstable he is.
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I tried to play BONEWORKS to get my mind off of this, managing to get a level further than I was (Ninja’s two levels ahead of me). I’m in the voice chat with Kovo and others. Kovo has to go talk to someone else. 5 minutes later, Fluffy joins the channel (and I leave
it in order to keep my forced promise to Ruffy). I come back. 20 minutes later.. he joins the channel again and I leave it again.
It’s obvious to me, Ruffy never told Fluffy about this. Very odd… like he’s been lying to me about how Fluffy doesn’t like me, how he’s scared of me.. etc. Then Ruffy asks me “are you 43”. At that moment I knew my life was over, and felt like I had to get on my knees and plead for mercy that he doesn’t call the police. Now he’s telling me that Fluffy’s yelling at him while talking to me, while I’m begging for my life this wouldn’t get any worse than it already is.
Doing my best to defend myself for what felt like hours, suddenly there was a stoke of luck. Suddenly he says “unblock him, friend him. Idc. He wins”. Fluffy stressed him out to the point it broke him.
I friended Fluffy, and.. I felt like an absolute mess, hugging him and crying in his virtual arms (that I couldn’t see as this was in a DM). Fluffy cuddled me, told me that Ruffy will never bother me again. Ruffy never even told him why I was forced to block him. Wow.
At the end, this just makes me want to love Fluffy even more than I ever have.. for literally saving my life from a manipulative ‘friend’! Fluffy showed up when I needed him the
most, and I can’t thank him enough. He truly loves me, when he’s willing to fight for
it. And I should appreciate every moment I can with him.
But I can’t block Ruffy for this. I fear if I do, he’s going to call the police anyway as an attempt on revenge. However, since his birthday is tomorrow.. Ruffy wouldn’t be able to do shit to me.
At the same time, I dunno. They could still arrest me for “doing it while he was 17”.. even though it was always consensual. But the greatest problem, is my age.
Going back to Fluffy, he’s taking a vacation to Mexico in a few days (and won’t be back ’till next year). He also has moved to a new house, so he won’t be getting online either.
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Scooby actually understands me
I said it before (back in March), and I’ll say it again; Scooby is just like me when it comes to relationships, that it’s scary AF.
I didn’t expect Scooby to even ask to see me ingame, but I was in my homeworld trying to talk to Fluffy about things (while he was AFK) when it happened. I semi-feared he would be acting as ‘a messenger’ for Jero, sending their regards. And for some time I felt he would mention it. Instead he’s almost acting as if he asking me if I would be interested in dating him. Um… not after what Jero, Wufy, and several others have said about you, dude.
I had to remind him about this whole thing with him asking for money and not paying it back, yet he acted like he just now was informed of it. He was shocked to hear this news.
Interesting that this is the first time he heard about it, but I hoped he would let it go and not ask who are these “well-known individuals” that I trust to tell the truth.
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Yet he did, and I’m thinking “FUCK!! I did it again!! ..Ok, think. Think. *sighs* God I hope he keeps his word!!” and asked him not to tell anyone about this, or ask the ones I was about to tell him. He promised he wouldn’t, he just wanted to know.
So I started with what Jero told me about him, and he does confirm that they wanted to give him a fridge. Then he changes the topic around to say how he’s still struggling to survive. Funny thing is he never said anything about paying back the money (or is planning to).
Then I told him about the drama with Jero and Chris (how I got myself involved). And he even agrees with me about how Jero didn’t really show true love (with all the doubts).
He also said that Jero didn’t even tell him about the doubts that caused me and them to separate (how Jero friend-zoned me).
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Finally, after a long hug he did, he could understand why months after we broke up, I still had feelings for Jero; it was their personality that I (had) loved. And he literally read my mind of wanting more than just friendship.
Hopefully I can find someone else with that personality (that doesn’t mind being in an online relationship, and can understand why I can’t make it more.. at least not right now).
Also I found out, Frost unfriended (and probably blocked) me. But whatever, I don’t care. I have no need to speak to him, since I’m done with Jero.
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EDIT: An update that Scooby is trying his damnest to pay back the money to Jero and everyone else he dated (and asked for money). Wufy has confirmed it (asked
him)… however, Wufy also told me he had to convince Scooby to do it. He goes
from “when did I say I don’t pay back what I borrowed?!” to this.
I think Scooby’s lying to me (about this). So I need to talk to him about it.