A few interesting things happened today, so let’s get started.
First off, I told Fluffy that I feel we need to stop seeing eachother for two weeks (to clear our minds, get priorities in order, that sort of thing) and he agreed to this. But I did warn him that if I didn’t see any major changes (to make him not ‘annoying’ to me
anymore), then he’s better off looking for a new RP father. I’m serious when I say this. I’m tired of these constant broken promises of change… he’s even still doing it with Blue!
Enough is ENOUGH!! This ends one way, or another.
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Was finishing off dinner as usual, and was getting ready to get on VR (as I saw Cola on). Instead.. Aftershock wants to talk to me about if me and Fluffy are still talking to eachother. Funny how you come out of the woodwork on the same day I said that to Fluffy. Almost like, he’s been talking to you behind my back (again). Yet why, when the two told me they are no longer friends? Probably just a coincidence he’s talking to me about
Fluffy (obviously checking up on him). So I told him what’s going on, but had to tell him too about Cola and the thing and stuff like that.
His opinion was nearly the same as Red’s, but differently. He says that both him and Blue would actually “be a lot happier” if I was with Cola. ..How?! Then he reminded me of something that never came to mind; apparently allowing them to leave the group if they find someone better, is saying the group is a poly. ..I never really looked at it like that.
And the reason he says the two would be “happier”, is to see me happy. Thing is, I already am happy (with all three of them).
Then he asked me “Guilt aside: if you didn’t meet Red or Blue, would you had gone with Cola?” And, the answer, might surprise you– “Yes.. but also No.” That shell I wanted to crack open so bad (and him resisting), likely would had turned me away. It was Red and Blue (and even Fluffy) that encouraged me to talk to him. All of them listening to
me, understanding what I’m going through.., I can’t thank them enough. They gave me the courage to get off that very harsh emotional rollercoaster and face him, for him to realize he’s hurting me with his words.
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Then I sent him something that Blue told me, which he said “That is the thing you didn’t tell me”. Uhh, come again? “You didn’t tell me the full extend of Blue’s feelings for you.” He saw Blue also loves me (a lot), and to leave him for Cola would be very much wrong. Just like if I was to leave Cola for Blue. I couldn’t (and won’t) do it.
I love you all, and nothing will ever get in the way of that. 💗 For this heart has three
sizes, each of them representing how all three of you get the same love from me. None of you will ever feel left out. All of you are loved, cared for, and supported the same way. That, is what the group stands for.
…And so, let this topic of going for Cola, be dead. I’ll go for all of you. As I’ve always said; “I love you all equally.” 😊
Anyway, that’s what Aftershock told me. Told him that Fluffy’s fine (despite probably not able to focus due to crying of wanting to speak to his RP father so much).
But he doesn’t realize it’s going to be permanent if he doesn’t get his shit together.
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With that done, I got on while Cola got off. Was still 7:35pm in the evening, so surely he’ll come back on to see me. And at one time it didn’t look good (to where I nearly fell asleep in VR from boredom while trying to wait patiently in the Avatar Testing world).
JoinNotifier failed to.. well, notify me that Cola actually did join, and the blame goes to the VRChat servers (that I found out much, much later of other people saying their friends are on but showing as offline). JoinNotifier didn’t know if Cola was on or not, so it never alerted me.
The topic about the group never came up with Cola’s random conversations, instead he was talking about how much he was driving from here and there to where he almost feels tired of it. And one time I swear he was going to try to ‘encourage’ me (like Jusper did) to get my permit again, but thankfully never did. He went talking about trying to drive
home (when he was 15-16 years old) and instead of asphalt, the road was made of ice. Ugh. That’s NEVER good. Black ice is the WORST when you’re driving!
Said he got far, then the wind hit his car and went into a ditch. He (obviously) survived the crash with a few bruises and walked home. Said that what saved his life was having full confidence with his car. That is very good. And he said about falling off of a horse, to get back on it again. I knew he was secretly hinting at how I don’t feel confident to drive, and I said “problem with me, is the horse is VERY tall and I have no idea how to get back on it.”
He didn’t really believe me, so I gave him an alternate way to explain it; “I assume you’re heard of ‘Clifford the Big Red Dog’, right?” He said “yes”, I said “imagine the dog as a horse. That is my horse.” This, definitely convinced him!
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Then we’re talking about suing people and Cola’s all “America is weird! WEIRD!!” Yes, yes we are. We like suing people. Capitalism rules. But to Cola, Capitalism is a disease. But honestly I’m not going to go there. …He sure did, though, giving me a story of imagining myself as a father, having a wife, and two kids. I’m the king, the wife is the queen, and the two kids are apparently my followers..? Where are you going with this, hun? I’m confused.
He goes on saying that one of the two is much, much older than the other (is 21, and is ready to move out). And the younger one is a gamer. Says both want something, but you know if you don’t give one as much as you do the other, the other will get upset and die and.. uhh, well this just got dark fast!! 😅
So he asks me, what would I give the two kids that both would be happy. Oh how I wish I followed what you were saying, as most of it went in one ear and out the other. So, I asked what would he do (using his own question). Said how the oldest has a car, so he would give them four fresh tires and a few other things (saying that’s what he’ll need to move out and start his own life), and then give the younger a new computer and a whole lot of other stuff. Essentially, the younger brother gets the better deal.
Then he asked me “but where did you get all of that money? Because you are working for the US Army; killing bad guys, saving your country.” Sweetie, where are you going with this? He said he just came up with it in his head and has no idea how it got there.
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Then I offered for him to do the same scenario, but with Communism instead of Capitalism. He said instead of me working for the US Army, I would be living at home with the wife working. The oldest would get everything, then they move out, and he would focus on the younger one.
How is that fair on the younger one?! lol, they would feel left out! He said something, but Kat’s arrival cut it off. Ok, why’s Kat (AzureFox) here? Did you come to randomly check up on us? It seems so, and as usual Cola stopped talking through that. But then something magical happened when Kat brought over one of the pickupable boxes that you can sit down and throw your friends around in them. For some reason I picked Cola up
and.. actually cuddled him in my arms as a baby, using this box. The sudden feelings of happiness I had, were just.. wow. And I could feel Cola felt them too. I, absolutely loved
it.
Kat though wanted to take pictures of us, which Cola’s quite camera shy (but Kat managed anyway). Then I had the idea of having Cola’s legs sitting on my shoulders.. and poor Cola constantly hitting the ground as she tried to place him on my shoulders. Finally she got the angle right, but he didn’t want to have more pictures taken of him.
Kat then left to go see some friends of hers, and I told Cola “you may talk again”. He said when Kat was constantly dropping him, he wanted to say something of what it feels like being dropped on your back or your spine, but was worried he would hurt my eardrums if he were to say it.
Awwwww… that is so sweet you care about me this much!! 😊 It makes me wish I could actually feel myself hugging you. And after coaxing him into just doing it (to not worry that I’ll be perfectly alright), he was all “OHGODTHEPAINGAHHHH!!!”. When he was
done, he said how he felt embarrassed thinking he weirded me out. Awww.. nothing you can say will ever stop making me love you, Cola. Then he said how his grandmother’s coming over to check on him and knew he had to go.. but didn’t want to. He was so happy being in my arms, even saying that he envisioned it (and wanted it), and wishes he could hug me back in VR.
Trust me when I say this, Cola.. that was absolutely beautiful. That was on-par with what I felt with Jero. And now I have this idea I just thought of, to have an invisible chair that’s spawned infront of me (or on my head, or stuff like that) that’s attached to me. That way I can hug Cola like that all night, in any world.
Like, holy fuck. Thank you for the wonderful idea, brain. 😃 I just hope they work as good as I’ve just thought of them in Unity.
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And finally, something else love-related. After getting a few neat avatars that I’ll probably never ever use in public (as they’re Loli avatars, but they’re also military-based with realistic reloading animations that makes me feel “I don’t need Hotdogs, Horseshoes & Hand Grenades when I got this”).
Went to Kovo’s world and tried to snipe them while they were at the mirror (with an actual sniper rifle). Only one of them (a random) actually noticed the bullets and ran over to investigate what was going on. I’m sure the others did too, but didn’t really care. Blue was also there too.
Anyway, when I was done having fun, I snuggled Blue until he started talking with a few of his friends, so I stayed with Wufy instead (because he was sighing his head off yet lying to us that he’s OK). Wufy, I can tell when someone’s not OK. Please don’t lie to me.
Anyway, he wants someone that will love him, even though he still does love DJ… it’s the fact the two are 6 hours apart, which sadly doesn’t work for them. 🙁
Right now, Wufy is open-minded for anyone that will approach him. And I don’t want to show too much love for him or he’ll get the wrong idea. I just wanted to give him
company, so he won’t feel alone. I mean I like him, he’s sweet and all. But I don’t think it would ever work out between us (plus I seriously doubt he would want to join the
group, after giving his somewhat against opinion on it (yesterday)). ..Even though I actually agree with that opinion, somewhat.
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So this very (and mean very) lewd Nanachii was getting a little frisky with Blue (while I was with Wufy). Yo, hands off! He’s mine! He joked around saying to not “display your merchandise where people can see it”. Then he gets behind him, which forces me to let go of Wufy and hug Blue to keep the guy off him.
It’s all good though, as this guy’s one of Blue’s old friends. He was just messing with
me, which I didn’t appreciate it and said I would shove my fist up his ass if he tries it again. And he preferred me not to do that. Good, glad we have an
understanding.
And to prove what a good friend he is, he and Blue were talking VR. Said he’s been trying to sell his original Oculus with the controllers and base stations, for $200. DAMN!
Blue, you should take advantage of that!! That is a sweet deal! Told me he’s definitely considering it. The person told Blue he would even pay for shipping.
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The next day, Blue’s telling me Thresio says the thing would “run like shit” on his computer. Personally, I don’t think so. WMR (which has a higher pixel count) did struggle with my FX-4350. But Blue has a Ryzen 7 (that’s also overclocked). So, I’m pretty sure he’s good.
Infact I was told in the past to get the Oculus instead of WMR. But to play on the safe
side, let’s wait for Snewflake (who recommended the upgrade for Blue) and see what he says about this.