I’m trying to find the right words to explain what happened. Sadly it’s not going to be something that gets cemented in my head (like my times with Jero (or Wuffer).. for some reason it refuses to let those memories go, and replace it with a really good memory of the group). And I guess because I’ve never had a really good memory that left a lasting impression with the group (sadly).
I tried my best to force this one to replace the time where I met an AFK Jero in that beautiful world, but to no avail. However, I know one very important thing: my love for Cola is even stronger than ever. 😊
Yesterday I couldn’t hang out with Garruk (as Fluffy was talking to him). And
honestly, it seems the very words I said before (where I felt like “one of this times, he’s going to feel he won’t ‘need me’ anymore”), it seems to have happened a lot sooner than I thought (to where I feel I’m literally wasting my time being with him).
Today my friends, would be the day where I looked at myself and said “I need to end this and focus on the group”. Got to see him today, but with a LOT of people. One of them sounded just like Jusper (minus the heated discussions of VR), where I had to keep checking his name just to make sure it wasn’t him. And this person was with Garruk as much as I typically do, nuzzling him and stuff.
This made me feel quite uncomfortable (and made me question why am I even here). I assumed Jero had hardly anyone, and was lonely (which is why I’ve been with him).
He’s, clearly not. Garruk looked at me and asked if I was alright. I had to lie and say I’m doing perfectly alright.
–
Sometime later, he went to another world. I followed him, and the only reason was to briefly hang out with other friends. Then he said bye to them and left for another world. The heck is going on…? Showed he was in a private world (again). Thought he was in the japan apartment world, so I sent an invite. A minute later I get his invite, and it’s the world he showed me before. Why is he here again? The heck?
Got there, he was AFK (using the bathroom). This is when I started thinking how ridiculous this is, that he doesn’t really ‘need’ me as much as I thought. And when he got back from being AFK, he told me he had to let someone go who really had feelings for him. Hmm, feels familiar (like you did with me when you didn’t want to join the group). Keeps telling me how he’s still in a relationship (even though it’s on hold).
‘This was a mistake’; that’s all I could think of when he said this. He does NOT need me. I wasted my time. I need to just focus on the group, and nothing more.
A friend of his joined the world. Bit of an odd fellow, as he started drawing pentagrams with the pens in the world. Garruk saw these as a form of protection. To me, your friend is trying to summon Satan. lol
Said this, and the person left. Woopsie! Didn’t mean to offend. But the person really wasn’t and came back. I tried to smile my way through this as now Garruk is making pentagrams.
—
Suddenly I get an invite. Thought it was Dander or another random friend… 😲 it was COLA!! And I could invite him in! YES!! GET IN HERE!!! You just saved me!! 😄👍
It took awhile, then he joined. Immediately started running towards spawn as if I haven’t seen him in years and hugged him tightly. I literally thanked him for coming, as him showing up has shown me I can safely move on from Garruk.
Some time after that, Garruk met Cola for the first time. I was a bit worried, but I felt by keeping Cola close to me I’ll be safe. Garruk explained how I’ve been keeping him company, and Cola could understand what I was doing. Then he told Cola to get close to me and whipped out his camera, and took three pictures of us;
And this one (to me) speaks out something sweet in the way of “Come, my love. I will show you the world.”
This to me, cemented in my head that it’s finally time to let my feelings for Garruk go. And I bet even he felt it, when he said he was going to do something interesting (forgot what it was, but it seemed he was focused on staying with his BF). And as I said, I would be happy. And I am. 🙂
Garruk left us for another world. Showed Cola around. Halfway while I was giving him a tour, I had a great idea to get him to see the world I met Jero in. And what a great idea it was, as he absolutely loved it. And I should had gotten him here a long time ago. It should had come to me that Cola’s into Japanese culture (with the cape he found and made work on one of his avatars).
We got to the island that I met Jero, and I wanted to hug Cola as the world sun was setting. That’s when he sadly had to give me some really bad news: he had to go to bed! NUUUU!! I want this to be perfec– ehh, nighty night. Love you!! He said “I love you too” and kissed me back.
I love, this new Cola. Absolutely love it. And he loves me. I am more than happy. 💗