A day after I said how I told Cola how much he meant to me, and how he finally told me why he can never feel love again.. yesterday was an almost about face from that. He was hanging out with me, similar to the way my son would. It was strange, but a very welcomed thing.
He was doing this, while I was in the prone position using the new model Wolves made for me. It was.. something beyond “cute”? Is that even a thing?;
He stayed with me for hours, doing this; almost showing some kind of strange emotion he swear would never be brought up again (or something close to it).
After my.. thing with Wolves, he was there to keep me sane. Without even speaking, I could feel his kind heart slowly managing to overcome my sadness of messing up like that infront of Wolves, and it was such a great feeling. All I wanted to do was stay with
him, and he wanted to do the same.
–
This lasted all the way to 3am, where he was in full body and laying down, letting me lick him and him petting my head and cheeks. Definitely inlove with you, cola. 😊
He then told me he had some things to do and needed to get off, also wishing he didn’t have to leave. Told him how much I enjoyed my time with him.
As he got up, he looked at me and said his true feelings for me– that he trusts me more than a friend. Though he never mentioned the four-letter word that starts with ‘L’ and ends with ‘E’, knowing he trusts me is the next best thing of him saying those four words.
I’m actually showing him (by actions, not words), that it’s OK to let that word come back and mean it.
This song, is that moment right now in history. I don’t want to lose you, cola. Ever.