Yesterday was an interesting day, and had a lot less drama than the day before. I also learned a bit more of what started this entire thing. And finally, I finally got my answer from Jusper (if he actually has feelings for me).
Kovo’s Investigation
I expected more hell to happen yesterday night, after the brief conversation Kovo had with Lich (and sent the images to me). I freaked out when I saw Kovo saying “I guess you could say someone take the fall for someone”.. what the hell are you DOING, Kovo?!?!
Confronting him, he said “guys to dumb to follow it”. I pray you’re right, Kovo. Because if you’re not, then you just screwed NapPie (in a position he would prefer not to be screwed).
Later that day, he calls me. He asks me to contact NapPie and ask him to prove he gave the model to Jusper. He wants to remain neutral, and wants proof Jusper’s telling the truth.
So I tried, but no response. Waited for hours, still no response. Told Kovo, and he feels this might be proof enough (as NapPie clearly with his silence, means he did).
And that’s it for this section.. moving on.
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(NUUUU.. my WMR controllers no worky!!) / The Aftermath
The majority of the night goes in here. Jusper surprisingly logged into VRChat. Kovo still doesn’t fully feel he’s telling the truth, so I back off of thinking about joining him (and eventually ask him that passionate burning question).
Time passes and Kovo’s enjoying being ingame. I ask him “is Jusper still on?” he says “yes”. ..Now’s my chance. This question, to me, is best asked ingame to him. I want to feel the reaction, then see it. I just need to wait for the right moment to ask.
Kovo said it’s best to ask if I can join him, due to what happened from a small altercation between him and Lone. Looks like my ‘neutral-aggressive’ stance of Lone was just.
He (Lone) won’t respond to my DMs anymore, even when I said and asked “let’s just forget about Jusper and move on. When do my classes of doing a relationship the right
way, start?”
Got WMR set up and ready and got ingame. Saw Jusper on and joined him. In the world, I tried to move.. no response from my touchpads. The fuck. No. DON’T FUCKING TELL ME I caused irreversible damage to my headset!!!
–
Jusper shows up and sees how I can’t move. I can move my hands and arms OK, and all the other buttons on my controllers work… so WHAT is going ON HERE?!
Tried going back to my home world.. can’t move here either! Ok, I fucked something up! SHIT!! WHAT DID I DO!? Double checked all settings, everything’s correct. Tried re-pairing the controllers.. nothing! I’m losing my fucking mind right now!!
Launch MR Portal without SteamVR and try it there, it’s detecting the touchpads? Does this mean SteamVR or VRChat’s the fault? Ask the VRChat Discord, 75% thinking of seeing “uhh, no. Never heard of this problem. It’s just you”. Mind blown when a few report having the same issue. One person says “the new SteamVR update broke WMR”. Thank GOD it’s not just me!! But this means I’m gonna be stuck in Desktop mode ’till they fix it.
This currently active post in the ‘WindowsMR for SteamVR’ Steam Discussion forum proves it wasn’t my doing that caused the issue.
…The Aftermath
I’m able to move just fine in Desktop mode. Went to go see Kovo (where Jusper’s
there) and saw more than just those two; Sarge was also there, talking to Jusper. Sarge is all “I would had given you the model personally, but they said no. Just like they said no to giving Benie that scale shader he’s using.”
Wow. So this is indirectly linked to my request to getting Naito’s scale shader for BTDB? Over-protective much? Sarge knows quite well I would never distribute the shader, and I have told anyone that asks that I’m not allowed to give it out. Thing is, Sarge said that I was given a ‘watered down version’ of it. I dunno, I still like it.
I also learned what caused this entire mess to start. It wasn’t that Drafy messed up by showing up with that model, it was SpingTap taking a picture and showing it to Lich. Sarge feels if the picture was never taken, none of this would had happened. But, he also feels if Lich didn’t act like a child.. and actually asked Jusper “we have all of this evidence that shows you stole and distributed our model, would you like to explain yourself?”, all of this unneeded drama wouldn’t had happened. I agree to both, because both feels like they ruined my chance with Jusper. ..Or, did I? Because occasionally, he would come along and boop me or pat me on the head. Is there still a chance? I still need to wait for the right moment. Too many people around to ask him.
–
Few hours pass after that, it’s 1am EDT. Noticed everyone stopped talking, and VRChat shows the black halo around the screen as if it’s about to either crash or send me back to my home world. The black screen stays there for awhile. Go to check Steam to see if SteamVR got updated. See ‘NO CONNECTION’ at the bottom. Oh lord.
Sure enough, the Online light of my cable modem starts flashing blue. Pretty sure my ISP’s doing system maintenance on the lines right now.
Call them: “we are conducting system maint–” hung up at this point, furious they can’t leave a god damn FUCKING NOTE ALERTING their customers about these surprise maintenance downtimes!! Felt like I was done for the night (since they typically say “we don’t know how long it’ll be ’till everything’s up, but please be patient!”, so I created a .txt file and started typing in what I want to say.
Around 1:19am EDT, I saw the Online light as a solid blue. Well, awesome!! It was only a 20 minute downtime! I was back on VRChat.
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The answer I’ve wanted
Back on, I noticed a lot less people. Jusper said “you need to try SteamVR again”. Said there hasn’t been an update since. He said to try the ‘macos’ version, as it hasn’t been updated in awhile. Feeling there might be hope I can get back in VR, I tried his suggestion. Logged out of VRChat, tried to play it (in VR).. again, nothing. FUCK!! Now I’m convinced there’s something wrong with either the headset or the controllers (even though there’s two sources that have said “no, it’s not you.”).. but why am I not fucking convinced?!?!
Told Jusper (in a DM) the results, he said to go back to the regular SteamVR version if I haven’t yet. But I tried other versions (including the beta).. still nothing!!
On the stripped down SteamVR Home page (that shows my chosen chaperone and where I can pick what games I wanna play), pressing on the touchpads shows no movement. WMR Home does show movement. But it still isn’t fully convincing me that this isn’t my fault. Just because it’s working in one and not working in the other, can still mean I broke something to cause this to happen! It was also about this time where I found that discussion in the WMR for SteamVR thing.
Look over in Discord and see several people in General chat (including Jusper). Joined them and eventually went back to VRChat. Jusper (in the chat) tells me he has a WMR headset and says he can try it to hopefully convince my mind that it’s not me. Yes, please!! Do it! And… it’s working for him. FuuuuUUUUUUUUU!!! 🙁 But he says how he hasn’t used WMR in awhile, so it might be out of date. Said to just relax and wait.
*deep sighs* That’s all I can do right now (and I’m still waiting as I type this). I look at him and say “I wish I had working VR, so I can boop you. But I can still boop you with my nose” and do so. He boops me back.
He lays on his back and I nuzzle him, and he nuzzles me. ..The time to ask is getting
close, but there’s still people here. Several start talking about me and him, how its adorable and stuff. One of them (who I was hope was joking) asked “so are you two gonna do it?” We both laughed it off and I almost said “if we were, you wouldn’t see it :P”, but I stopped myself. Then Kovo and Vale dropped out of the chat, leaving me with Jusper. Everything’s going to plan. All I need to do is wait for the ones around us to leave or go somewhere else, then ask.
–
Finally…, the time came. I took a deep breath and asked “what do you think of
me, personally?” He said that he thinks I’m pretty cool and has nothing against me.
Erm, that’s not what meant, heh (nervous laughter). Then I stated and asked “I was talking about that night. What did you think of me then?”
He said how he was “trying it out”, as he was doing for others. Ohh. Erm. I sighed and
said “well, I just.. thought, you had feelings for me”. He reminded me that he wasn’t looking for an online relationship, and I told him I completely understand.
Am I heartbroken from the answer I finally got from him? No, I was expecting it. Yet he has no problem nuzzling me, and.. I’m fine with that. I feel loved, and that’s all I care about. :’)
It makes me want to get into VR even more, and really show him what I’m capable of. Heh.
Makes me wonder if Kovo and Vale got out of the chat, because they knew I wanted to be alone with Jusper. And if that’s the case, I thank them.
For the rest of the morning (an hour before it was bedtime for me), Garruk showed up out of nowhere and immediately started snuggling me in a very interesting way. It was at this time where I was with another friend I haven’t seen since the Best Boi community era. He was showing me a prefab that’ll soon be released on VRC-Mods, of a radio you can set custom songs to. He even showed me how it works, and I want it. I’m pretty sure Scooby would want it too.
So anyway, Garruk told me he actually joined off of Kovo to see him (but I happen to be there). Kovo did show up, and the two were able to talk while I helped my friend with his prefab. While I talked, I could hear purring behind me. Turned around and Garruk was there, snuggling me again. I wanted to ask him”so how’s your boyfriend? Are you two getting along?”, but there were too many people around to ask, and I didn’t want him to freak out over it. I wanted him to tell me, but that never happened (as in, he never asked if can talk in private).
–
I know for a fact that he’s dreading breaking up with his boyfriend. But I wonder if he also dreads.. getting back together with him. Three days ago in a DM, he said he was just going to stop talking to me. Yet he does this…? Does this mean he still has feelings toward
me? Did he break up again to be with me? ..I dunno. I’m only wildly assuming right
now.
A reason I feel this, is the way he was snuggling me. I didn’t see him snuggling anyone else like that. It almost felt like true passion, like he was showing he liked me more than just a friend.. even though he has a boyfriend. Perhaps, this was his way to ‘get it out of his system’ that he had feelings towards me, bottled up. This seems to be the most likely scenario, as he never sent me an invite to join him when he left.
Or, maybe he was only being friendly, that’s possible too.
Still was nice to see him again, and I’m glad he wasn’t forced to unfriend me over that mess.