First off, this is about 1/2 games, and 1/2 life. And I felt it belongs in here. Maybe it’s the work of the impending Super Blood Moon rising in the night sky, late tonight.
But there’s a guy on the MRT Server, who goes by the name of ‘HanSangYoon’. I’ve seen him a lot of times, but never really got to know what he’s like… until early this morning.
The reason I’m telling you guys this, is because he claims he can help me to change my life around for the better. But yeah, I’ve gone through this before. And I’ve always told them “Look, I don’t care what you say or do, but I’ll never change. I am what I am”. Yet this guy… he’s unlike those others who knew they were just wasting their breath.
He’s calm, and he also claims that he, too, used to have similar issues to my own. He says that my stubbornness is to blame, because it won’t support change. But… duh. Of course it is. He also claims that he has two years worth of psychology, and has even dealt with people worse than me; even claiming helping someone go from feeling like suicide was the only option he had, to becoming a CEO of a game company.
But anyway, this ‘Han’ person… well, he seems to understand what I’m going though. He said if I would just give it a chance, that he literally guarantees that my life will be the way I’ve always wanted; which was to actually live a normal life. Yet I also told him that “I don’t care what others think”, and my stance on friendship (and the highly-debatable topic.. gay marriage).
It was the whole gay marriage thing, the reason he openly approached and spoke to me. Apparently… people are still talking about what I said months ago against gay people on the MRT Skype Chat. He claims that people are “talking shit behind your back”, some even being lies to stir up even more hate against me. It’s really amazing what people hold grudges for. Then again I hold my own (though they’re related to greedy game companies, not a specific person).
So, he says all I have to do is the next time there’s ever a discussion about gays on the server (or even on Mumble), to calmly say “Well, I’m not for or against gay people.” In other words, tell a harmless white lie. He says by doing so, I would help to restore my image (their opinion of me). Again, I really don’t give a fuck. Yet he says “so why are you not happy?” And…. I…. I have no words for that. And he seems to fully understand me (for the first time ever).
Yet, he says that he knows I’m too old to receive pity from anyone, and he’s right. Pity makes me feel weak, and pathetic. Like when dying 8 times in New Super Mario Bros Wii, and the game takes pity on me with that Super Guide thing. I don’t like that at all.
So I’m actually going to try this. I got to start somewhere, right? He claims he’ll further help me after I pass this. And to be honest, I’m actually looking forward to changing my life around, but I just feel that he’s going to have his hands full with me.
Though I am curious about one thing. If he says he has two years worth of psychology, then how come he’s not billing me by the hour (like a true psychologist would)?