Today was a pretty calm day. Needed one after those assholes that griefed us. Hopefully the next time, things will be different. And we’ll try to be more aware of our surroundings. If we have to use combat tactics to trick any possible enemy players, we will.
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“I really didn’t mean to hurt you” -Jero
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Continuing on from where I left off in the last blog post, I asked Jero (of all people) for relationship advice. Mainly to see what ‘unofficial’ meant when it came to him and Chris.
To him, an unofficial relationship is exactly as I thought (at least the way he thinks it is). But he cannot provide anymore advice than that.
He also brought up how he’s “kind of lone wolf material”. I agreed with him, discussing about my thing with Novice and how I started feeling satisfied myself just having friends get me by. He agrees to this. Thank him for the talk and say “I’m glad we’re friends again”.
I thought he was going to end it there with a “you’re welcome. Sorry I couldn’t help you more. As I said Frost might though”. Instead he says “I really missed you”, “it was really strange not having you anymore” and “I felt really bad it sunk in more and more”.
–
He followed this with “I’m really sorry I was very bitter stubborn towards you”.. really. So does this mean you actually take full blame for the way you treated me instead of putting the blame on Larry? Yes, yes he does. The fact he hasn’t looked for another to replace
me, proves he is sorry and understands he has no business being in a relationship.
(At this point, most of this wasn’t really said. It’s just how I feel how this would’ve happened if this was in VRChat when he told me all of this)
I picked him off the ground, dusted him off and put my hands on his shoulders, staring right at him with a glare. Then my stare changed warmly and gave him a big
hug. 🤗
I said “I didn’t believe what Larry told me, Jero. I know you. I know you’re not someone that would be cheating on me. You literally said this after we broke up the first time; “I don’t know how relationships work”. And this is why you let me go. Correct?”
He nodded his head, telling me how painful it was due to how much I loved him. But knowing it was the right thing to do. He did remind me of the times he didn’t feel comfortable, and I told him “I am actually working on not being controlling
anymore.”
He’s glad for that and wished me luck with my unofficial relationship with MIBIT. And also said “just remember one thing Benie; despite what happened with us in the past, I’m still your friend nomatter what. I really did miss you.” I smiled, giving him another hug.
Told him how I was in literal tears of joy when he hugged me, remembering those fond memories of us (when things were good). He found that very sweet of me to say that and repeated himself with “I’ll always be there for you no matter what that’s a promise”. I nodded, saying “so will I Jero”.
I still remember a day ago, of him saying how the past month was very bad for him. I can only assume the DJ shitshow, and I know for a fact he’s against DJ.. as he’s the whistleblower (so I never asked if he wanted to talk about it, because very good reasons). Could say he overreacted. Then again for a good reason as you never know, so I’m not too mad for causing this shitshow. Afterall it was DJs fault for boasting about it.
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A slow, calm day with MIBIT
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Most of the evening was with MIBIT until 3am. As I said I needed time away from SoT to think of ways to prevent something like this from happening again. But I still had that thing Novice said going through my mind. Though I’ll get to that at another time.
Didn’t know what we could do together, so MIBIT said “let’s just relax after that PTSD moment”. Agreed.
One time he asked me “were you able to think about yourself at 4pm?” Uhh. First
off, why post the timeframe? That’s just.. I can’t explain it. I really can’t explain it. It sounds so.. fucking creepy (almost), like as if he he watches me through my window (even though he’s in Canada and I’m nowhere close to the border). *shivers* ..Sorry, I had to point that out. And second, I wasn’t “thinking about myself…?” and stated this to him. He realizes his mistake that I was talking about Sea of Thieves. lol
He one time decided we should do it, a lot earlier than we usually do. He likes to talk about how awesome it is to have a soundproof room (for obvious reasons). It was pretty
wild, him saying how it “feels better and better each time”.
How happy I am to hear that. Love you too sweetie. 🙂 It was so awesome he wanted to go a second round. About ready to let loose again until.. my mother knocked on my door.
Ohh fuck. She probably heard every. damn. word I said through that door. Mmm. But I told MIBIT I’ll be back, took off my headset and went over to the door. All she wanted was for me to place a Doordash order. That was it thankfully, but I still felt embarrassed to try again.
There was also a quite funny but also quite embarrassing thing that happened. It felt like this should be added to #ThingsNotToSayDuringSex.. lmao
Me: Say my name!
MIBIT: Is it ‘Beanie’ or ‘Benie’? I’m confused!
…Gosh darnit, MIBIT!!! 😂🤣
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Quote Reading
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That’s not all that happened. This happened twice. When I had finally gotten over my embarrassment he went at it again with me. He was hungry for the D.
Then a friend of ours (more his than mine): ‘EXGAMINGSTREAM’ wanted to say hi to us. Today he joined Mystery Skulls (Sparky invited him, going by the audit log). And he sees the Kovo Quotes and Member Quotes as a “treasure trove”. Being a dragon, that makes sense.
He was getting a real kick out of the quotes (especially ones Sparky said) and it was like I had found a ‘worthy opponent’ to challenge for the quoting throne; to act like vultures going around Kovo waiting for him to say something funny, and being all…
See who can quote him in the most humorous Kovo-like way. Personally, I retain the crown. Was just funny hearing him laugh ridiculously, which caused MIBIT to laugh uncontrollably. Had to calm him down so he could breathe.
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Unofficial officially explained
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The night went on with just me and MIBIT. He was AFK getting something and was responding to Frost’s question for relationship advice. He answered what the definition a unofficial relationship is, as ‘dating’. So it’s just like I thought.
I told him what Novice said to me. Said that Novice misunderstood what it is and I should tell him (which I already did a day ago). Then he said to tell MIBIT about this as well, to not keep this from him. I nodded saying “I definitely will do so”, and thanked him so much for the assistance.
Finally, as for giving MIBBIT my heavy baggage (some of it shameful to explain), Frost suggests to let MIBIT know to prepare him for it. Thanked Frost for that as well.
I wanted to keep all of this from MIBIT until later on, when I finally told him today (in Discord).
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Rude interruptions
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The night went on with just me and MIBIT. He was AFK getting something and was responding to Frost’s question for relationship advice. Kept this quiet from MIBIT until I felt ready to tell him (which was today in Discord).
He has an 18+ avatar that he said you actually insert it in. This really peaked my
interest, so I decided to try it out and gave him the pleasure. Halfway on, I start being messaged by Kovo in Telegram. Ohh fuck no!! 😂
Remembering what he said earlier after calling me a bottom after I said he simps for Destiny 2, I knew he saw the avatar I was in. “How did he know?” MIBIT asked me. “He has an app on his phone” was my response. “We can’t even fun now ohhhhhh” MIBIT
said, feeling embarrassed of the situation. He assumed I felt embarrassed of the avatar.
“Alright, he’s going a bit too far here. Can’t even have fun with you” I said to MIBIT who wanted to say something like that to Kovo. I finally calm down and check Telegram, getting ready to pounce on him in a harsh way. He assumed I was with Cyber helping Timber of his show. Ohh, so that’s it, huh? Still I smacked him across the face for interrupting me, saying “there’s more mature ways to get back at me” then explaining “no, I was having fun with MIBIT”. And all he said was “Oh”.
YEAH.. “oh”. You “oh” us an apology for ruining our intimement moment! He did apologize though.
Later he joins VRChat and says “if you want to talk I’m on”. I tell MIBIT and he asks “do we bring him here?” I’m checking where Kovo is and notice he’s joinable. “He’s in
the Room of the Rain. We can join him.” and do.
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Me and the boys at 3am
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Arrived at Kovo. Inari was also there. He was all “In my defense I assumed you were on Timber’s show, and Cyber told you to wear that. Because I know you would not be in that avatar”. He wouldn’t let me say “I was with MIBIT most of today.” MIBIT vouched for me.
Inari wanted to pull my attention over to him, wanting to show me something about surge protectors (or something like that). The video wouldn’t play for some reason.
Kovo’s all “I was just here to tell Benie that and the fact I’m bored.” ..Little did Kovo know he would be firing off a beacon for others to show up. And here they came, Timber and the others from the show were arriving all to see Kovo. I was in the air, my back against a wall sitting up. I watch Timber point his streaming camera right at my ass. ..God damnit Timber. lol
Kovo and everyone were around the mirror embarrassing the fuck out of him.
Meanwhile, I’m on the bed smiling from ear to ear listening to Kovo trying to defend himself from everyone’s funny attacks (while with MIBIT). “Benie wins by doing absolutely nothing” I say to myself.
Not much else really happened, other than a small karaoke session Inari was doing that my brain told myself to go for. As I was singing, I suddenly got bombarded by invite spam from Garath. What’s odd is the world he was trying to invite me to– Furry Village. Huh. Ignored it and kept singing.
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“BENIE YOUR WORLD IS IN DANGER!!”
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We finished the karaoke session. Most people enjoyed my singing. Then Garath joins the world, runs over to me and starts screaming “BENIE BENIE BENIE BENIE!!!”.. the FUCK Garath! The fuck do you want?!
“YOUR WORLD IS IN DANGER!! The mirrors are broken! There’s so much that is broken! You gotta come see!!” He opened a portal and ran in. So I said “alright, I’ll go see what’s going on here” and went in.
…Holy FUCK was Garath not kidding!! The moment I joined, I was getting a very, very weird lag! My framerate kept bouncing from 60 to 20, over and over. The FUCK!! Barely got to the mirror with how bad it was to move around the world. I saw what he meant by the mirrors were broke. It was doing that broken render thing again.
Garath was acting like Fry as I was trying to turn to face him…
I said “all I can try is reupload the world. I have no idea what broke here.” He accepted the answer (like he had a choice).
Came back to Kovo and the others, telling them the issues. Kovo didn’t even know what was going on of what I explained.
Looking back at this, it’s likely the Unity 2019 update broke the world. So I can only pray a reupload would help to refresh everything. If it doesn’t.. I dunno what to do other than get the Unity 2019 update (updating my Unity version) and then reupload it from there.
If that doesn’t fix it… I don’t wanna think about it. But surely a reupload, will. I’ll have to test it after MIBBIT goes to bed tonight.
.
And that’s it! ..Oh, I forgot to mention: I talked with MIBIT and told him “I need more time to think about this. Two or more months. I wanna feel I’m ready”. At first it’s like he didn’t understand saying “we can make it official, I know my work hours now” but now he gets it. I also explained what Novice told me. He doesn’t seem at all bothered by it, like he wasn’t even paying attention to what I said. Though I don’t feel he delibertly did it. Likely his ADHD causing it. I’ll have to re-remind him about it tonight if that’s the case.
Plus I told him to cut back on the strict scheduling he does. With this “it’s 4pm on the dot. Time to play Sea of Thieves” is getting ridiculous. Said for him to relax and stop letting timetables control his life.
I imagine him coming up to me with a bunch of charts, of him saying “alright let’s see. 7:30pm we ERP. 7:45 we kiss”.. just no. Stop acting like I’m controlling what you do. Be your own person, MIBIT. 🙂 Do what YOU wanna do, not what I wanna do all the time.
Last night, is what made me wanna say this. I’m having fun and he’s all “Benie it’s 5am, we gotta go to bed”. ..Dude. Lighten up. Stop sounding like some kind of businessman that constantly has to keep checking the damn time. But he told me he’ll “try to be more flexible”.
Yes Novice does it too, but only for himself. He doesn’t try to control my life (and his) of when to do this and when to do that at a specific time.
Speaking of Novice…, he hasn’t spoken to me since I told him “everything’s OK. You got it all wrong”. It’s likely he’s still ashamed of himself for bringing the thing up. I dunno. I just wanna talk to him, so he can relax about it. Hopefully he’ll show up this weekend in VRChat and I can talk to him privately.