Not really that much VRChat yesterday. There’s a few other things that happened, but a major one.. I really don’t wish to talk about as it’s too embarrassing. All I can say is, I have to be more quiet when I speak during the night hours (when my parents are sleeping), lest they hear something they really don’t want to hear (mentioning about gay stuff).
Pretty sure you get the idea what I’m talking about from that. But one thing I am absolutely, positively thankful for, are good friends who have been there and want to help me out with their really kind words.
I cannot thank them enough for helping me power through that terrible night I had yesterday. I love my friends. 🙂
Now then, time to talk about the final person on the list I wanted Fluffy to talk to. Someone both of us have been wanting to avoid, but since that encounter with Chris, I felt ready to take on this problem.
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An unwanted showdown
Little did I know, this would be the pinnacle of the ‘Love Drama’ category that I keep using, for it threatened to wipe away everything I have worked so hard for.. with his truth.
Ruffy, was the final person. I thought he would be OK with it. I thought, I would have a nice conversation. I..was so, so wrong. But one positive thing it showed, is how much Fluffy actually does love me (and I love him).
Ok, ok.. chill!! I hear you guys. I will!
And to basically sum it up in a nutshell (as a lot was said), he feels the idea of the
group (and Fluffy joining it), is “sick and disgusting”, that I would be “hurting him” with this.
He clearly got the wrong idea as I was explaining how Fluffy and I were father-son, how I took a break and felt I was happy without him. But I tried desperately to explain that I needed some time to think, and finally did have enough time. Yet he was quite irrational with me at this point, feeling Fluffy “deserves a real relationship”.
When trying to explain that Fluffy has tried and keeps failing, he (Ruffy) claims that he too has been trying for nearly a year, and found WildBoy. Heh, good luck. WildBoy doesn’t usually stick around longer than a week or two before he moves on.
But his words really stuck to me. Tried to play The Talos Principle VR (and stream it in the ingame chat of Kovo’s Discord) to get my mind off of this (until Fluffy responds), but I couldn’t shake it off.. and felt that maybe Ruffy was right, that Fluffy should just keep trying to find an actual relationship.
Fluffy felt that Ruffy’s trying to hurt him, but I wanted him to talk to Ruffy (while I kept playing my game as I had a few friends watching it). Time passed, and Ruffy seemed he was about to unfriend me over this, saying to not speak to him again. A few minutes
later, he changes to not speak to him for a few days (of probably Fluffy trying to explain that they are happy with this).
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My mind was still bothered, even after all of this. Got on VRChat (Fluffy got on shortly after), and we talked about this. Fluffy told me that he believes Ruffy is jealous; jealous of his friends finding love and him not. Instead of being happy for them and supporting their decision (which is the adult thing to do), he’s jealous. It took some time until that thought finally hit me.
Another thought also came to me (not to mention a sudden feeling of “I want this as much as Fluffy does”); Ruffy is ‘just one guy’. So why am I letting my brain be bothered by that?! I am happy with you, Fluffy. Nothing is ever going to change that. 🙂