Yet another ‘love drama’ post related to the group, and this one has been bothering my brain for quite some time. It’s not often when I get asked about the group, especially from one of the members from it.
Remember when I said how I feel Cola may want to be more than just part of the group (IE my BF)? ..I think this crazy assumption might not be so far fetched.
Was talking to my son about random things (how it’s OK to not give a fuck about No Nut November) while also casually looking at VRChat.com. Saw Cola online and.. well, usually that’s my cue to get the fuck on and be with him!
He was face down in Desktop mode, probably working on another skin. Sat down beside him and heard him purring. Thought this was going to be a normal evening with one of the ones I love. That was until he said “by the way, I got a question”. Probably a simple fun question, so I went with it. He said it was a “very confusing question” that he didn’t know how to answer.
Hmm, one of these questions, huh? Sure, hun. Let’s hear it. 🙂 Said not to be offended by it. Alright, I guess. “Say you had to make a decision of us, of which one you would pick. Which would it be?” Uhhhhhhhhh… Cola? Why are you asking such a personal question about the group? Said he’s “just curious”. Mmm. Why, would I ever have to make a decision like this!? I love you all equally!! He said that nothing would happen. “I asked myself this question, and I couldn’t really answer it. But I will, when you do.”
Felt slightly nervous, but also trying desperately to give an answer that I feel won’t kick myself in the tail. So I tried to express it in another way, even explaining the story of Jero to him (to help back up what I want to properly say to him). When I finally got to the part where I said “so I was with Red at the time while I was dating Jero, and I told him that I ‘cheated’ on him. But I explained it was because of the serious doubts I had if he truly did love me.”
Then I explained the group’s formation, all the way to reminding him how I was worried of adding him to the group (how he would react to Blue and Red). And that’s when he joined the group. Said that Blue used to be the top (with Red at 2nd place) due to Cola’s impenetrable shell that kept him from expressing true love…. and how he was in danger of being removed from the group (infact he actually was for awhile). But after the talks we had, he rose up and passed Red, where Blue and Cola are battling neck and neck to be
#1.
He then asked me why I felt Blue was so high up. My my, you really want to be more than just part of the group, don’t you? But I told him anyway about how all the nice things Blue’s done for me; been there for me when I was so upset, his hilarious lewd-filled jokes about ass and other things, how he loves to pick on Kovo as much as I do. And.. the fact he lives closer to me than Cola or Red (even in my same timezone).
Cola added onto this, saying how Blue (when he eventually gets VR) will be so much cuter than himself. Ehh, Cola you’re doubting your skills, silly! You’re far more adorable. Even Blue agrees! Then he asked me to talk about what I see in himself.
Gladly! You have a great sense of humor, you don’t criticize me, you make beautiful skins for your Best Boi avatars, you get along with my friends (minus Muum but that’s another thing).. and there’s just so much more I love about you. 😊
–
That’s when I felt confident enough to give my honest answer. If I had to make this very tough decision.. I would pick you, Cola. Then he told me the answer to his.. telling me he actually has feelings for Blue.. not romantic feelings, mind you. It’s still “just a friend thing”. And saying how I “have skyrocketed” past Blue (listing the reasons such as how I’m always willing to listen, that I’m always there to be with him, and that I’m funny).
Awww.. that’s sweet of you to say that. And to top it all off.. he said I’m the reason he broke out of his shell!! 😲….😆👍
Months of persistence FINALLY paid off!! I KNEW I could do it!!
Cola… you have no. fucking. clue how happy I am to hear this. No more will I have to question if you love me, I KNOW you do! Thank you for taking a different route than Jero!
He later had to go to bed. Kissed him goodnight and told him I loved him and he said the same.
But my mind was still a bit bothered by that question, though. To think I would ever have to make that decision, would be scary. But maybe I should just stop worrying about it and only focus on the fact he loves me very much.
EDIT: It seems I was right, he does want to be more than part of the group! He does want to be my boyfriend! But, I was also ‘wrong’ at the same time. Now remember when he said I broke him out of that shell? There’s something I have yet to.. well, explain to him; something lacking of the relationship with him and Luna.. not knowing how relationships work. So, I explained it to him the best I possibly can (with him still confused of certain parts). But I feel he knows a lot more than he ever has. I also explained the difference of an online relationship and a RL relationship, and how I only want an online relationship. At least he understood this part. Then he said “yes, it’s true”.
Well thanks Cola. This news is both good and bad. How I wish this thought would had been shot down instead of actually be true.