Another Halloween has come and gone, and today has marked a first time in years. The fact it was so cold, and so windy today.. we got NO kids this year. It was pretty.. dead.
As for myself, I received a treat today (outside of getting half of the candy my parents buy for the kids). But this… ‘treat’, still bothers me (to where I’m not even sure I should even talk about it, as my nerves are a bit on edge). Because, I’m responsible for what
happened (even though the other told me to relax).
So, it was past dinnertime and I was contemplating if I should come on or not. Check VRChat.com to see if Cola’s online. No sign of him, but I saw Dander with Fluffy and thought “hmm, I guess I’ll go say hi”.
Replaced the batteries in the controllers (as both were showing red in SteamVR), then hopped in. I assumed I would see Fluffy and Dander watching horror movies, instead I see Fluffy hanging out with a few randoms, making weird noises (with no sign of Dander).
Friend of mine joins who’s also looking for Dander, and find him in the outbound area of the movie world (while talking to a random). The random leaves about 10 minutes
later, with the friend leaving to see other friends. Fluffy goes AFK while Dander comes up to me and says “you’re too late, Cola went to bed”. …Dang nabit!
Yet, he wasn’t in bed when I checked my friends list. Told Dander, who’s all “what the fuck?!” when he saw the proof. I knew Cola would come to see me.
–
He arrived, in VR. Oooooohh!! I’m going to get one hell of a treat tonight!! 😋
…Sadly I never received it (if you get what I mean), because we (Cola and myself) went to another Friends+ instance of the movie world). The reason being, he was actually trying to avoid Dander. Remembering what Dander told me that Cola told him about a doctor’s appointment, I can understand why. But when asking him “why don’t you just do an invite or invite+ instance?”, he said “I don’t do that”. Fair enough.
He talked of his latest designs of his ‘Best Boi 4.5’ (of combining 2.0’s body with 3.5’s ears and tail, much like his Jagar 4.5 thing that I currently have in my dances), and we snuggled.
Time passed, and someone joined the instance. But it wasn’t Blue or any friends I usually hang out with, it was Muumiankka. Oh wow, what an unexpected surprise! Cola, never meeting the creator of the Sunken Boi (or even seeing the Sunken Boi model in his
life), hid behind me for protection.
All of this time, I thought he was just joking. So I played along (but also trying to get him to see that Muum is a harmless ball of fluff who only wants lots and lots of hugs and nuzzles).
Look at that face! SO CUTE!! Not to mention this looks like the cutest boss battle I’ve ever seen in my gaming life.
And at one time it seemed the two were starting to get to know eachother. Muum then switched to an Impim with multiple eyes. I unfortunately had to go AFK to do something. When I came back…. I saw Cola on the floor, collapsed. Oh shit!! WHAT HAPPENED?! 😱
I asked Muum, and he had no idea either. Dander joined sometime after I had gotten
back, and he also had no idea what happened. I stayed with Cola, not knowing what to do.
Five minutes later, he starts to wake up. Ohh thank GOD you’re alright!! You had me worried sick! I was hoping he simply went AFK and his trackers stayed put. I had no idea he passed out!
Back on his feet, he started acting a bit strange around me. Kissing him, he wiped it off his snout. Yet he licked me. Uhh, are you feeling OK, Cola? Maybe you need to lay down.
He hopped off shortly after, telling me he was going to bed and he loved me. But it followed with “I don’t like that guy anymore. he actually made me faint”. I told Muum who was upset of the news. Asked him if he could friend me in Discord and send me what he wants to send Cola as an apology.
Back to Cola, he didn’t want an apology. He was.. pissed. At least his words looked. Asked him “what would make this better?” And he told me something, very disturbing. Said “if I had a .44 magnum I will stuffed it so far down his throat he will be able to taste it gunpowder before I even pulled the trigger” …Cola, you’re scaring me. Stop it. I can understand you’d be pissed over Muum causing your fainting, but don’t you think this is overreacting?! It was likely an accident!!
He told me to send it to him. I was scared. If this is revenge for the way I tried to get you to not be scared of Muum, I’m sorry! Told Muum, who was all (yet never said, only showed with his hands): “just relax, I got this. Send what he said, I won’t be offended.”
I didn’t WANT to, so I told Cola “I’ll consider it”… and he threatened to leave me if I didn’t. He. fucking. threatened. to leave me, saying there would be “consequences” if I didn’t!! That, is what’s been disturbing my mind. I had no choice, and this kept going through my mind as I sent it, praying I didn’t lose Muum as a friend because of Cola.
Muum however, was perfectly chill with all of this. He responded with “creative ;D”
Uhh… is this a JOKE you two are doing?! If it is, I’m not laughing. But I told Cola I sent it and he says “thank you. love you”. I very hesitantly said “I love you too”.
–
Muum tried to make me feel better by being there with me (for a good hour and a half). It did help, and it once again made me wonder if he had feelings for me (or if he’s just being nice). Kind of scared to ask, and feel like I should just let the answer come natural (unlike what I did with Jero).
Still concerned about Cola. I don’t know if that was dark humor, or if he was being absolutely serious of what he said.
I want answers. If he was serious, he overreacted (which is not cool, and he should apologize to Muum). But if he was joking.. then apologize for scaring me shitless. 😒
.
I pray all of this was a joke that went a bit too far (with the whole threatening to leave me thing). Hell, even the faint could had been a joke… even though to me, that wasn’t
funny! 😢 I prayed to God he would get back up!
Once I know the truth, either I’ll be updating this blog post with new info… or be in tears as I write a new one. Hope it’s not the latter.
EDIT (11/1/19): Had to go to bed an hour before I typically do (as the parents were going shopping and needed someone to be with the cat). As I was turning everything off and getting ready to lay down in bed, Cola says “I feel like we need to have a talk about this, cuz that is a bit more to it”. Alright, I accept, but unknown to him I’ll be recording (for
myself, so I won’t forget what was said). Will likely be in Desktop mode for it.
To have thoughts, not many are good. I feel myself pushing him is going to be used against me (as one time I had jokenly said “prove your love to me by hugging him”). Again, I thought he was just joking.
To give a percentage chance of this going in my favor (and we can move on from this), I give it a 60% chance, as I feel I can use the whole “I thought you were joking” to my favor.
EDIT2: Seeing how I’m editing, you can safely assume everything’s OK. Some things to go over;
-I did nothing wrong with this. Infact I only proved to Cola just how much I love him.
-He was upset yes, but it wasn’t of the Sunken Boi model– it was the Impim with the multi-eyes. Freaked him out.
-The reason why he was so upset, is he passed out with no-one there. But he was very appreciative that I cared so much about him when he was like that. And that is all the ‘apology’ I wanted.
There was a time where he was a bit confused why I was giving him so much love, asking “what about the others?” Said I love them just as much as I love him. And the tone of his voice was like, he wanted to be more than just part of the group (aka my BF). But when I doubled down with “Blue, Red Fox. I love them all.” He said “That’s the way it should be”.
*nods* Yep. But it makes you think. To go from… multiple emotional rollercoasters of trying everything I could to get him to express his love, to this (where it sounded like he was ready to go farther than being ‘just a member of the group’). Wow.
I could never do that to Blue or Red, when my love can be spread out evenly (with the same level as I love him). I truly do love them all. They give me the strength to keep going in life. They give me a reason to get on VRChat.