I no longer have an RP son after what he did. I cannot believe I actually cared for him, but clearly he’s just a kid.. and kids only do it for the attention. But some kids will go out of their way for it.
So what happened, I’ve been waiting for Cola all evening for him to come on (so we can watch movies.. and then some), sadly that never happened as he was dealing was things IRL that were getting to him. Red Fox on the other hand, was willing to come on (but not do much more than that due to other people always in the house he’s in).
Because of this, I decided to drop him from the ‘fun friends’ list (but keep him as a close friend). He really wanted to have some fun, but no longer can from what he’s going through IRL.
Of course this depressed me somewhat, and I didn’t really want to go see him. About ten minutes later, WildBoy notifies me (a day after Rezz decided to finally unblock him after half a year of being blocked) that.. Insanely is trying to hit on him (and is “having a melt down”). But I’m more annoyed on the whole cheating on his BF thing (that he claimed he would never do again).
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But as I promised my son, I tried my best to stay calm around him (only saying I wanted to speak to him when he got up). Said he wasn’t in the mood to talk. I actually assumed it was something that went wrong with his vacation (you got to remember, I couldn’t just assume it had to do with WildBoy. It could always be something else).
So I said “When you are ready then” followed by “Because you need to stop ‘joking’ about trying to get people to date you.” The day before, he told me he hit on Kovo, but it was
a ‘joke’. This is getting ridiculous, son! You need to stop doing this and stay committed. But little did I know, ‘commitment’ was the least of his problems (will explain later).
So I decided to give him some time and said we’ll talk later, and then.. it starts. He talks about suicide.
I try to get him to talk about what’s causing these ‘desires’ to kill yourself (without using those words), and he kept getting more and more unstable to the point.. I actually thought he did it, and pleaded for him to respond.
I was forced to get Kovo involved, as I was losing my fucking mind over this. Somehow, he was able to talk to him. Perhaps Insanely had a change of heart? Then he showed me a rather disturbing image of a knife that looked like it was coated in blood. However, I noticed the surface it was sitting on, didn’t look like it was. …Did he just pull a Chris on me?! I swear, if he’s lying to me.. I’m going to disown him. Showed the knife to Kovo, and asked him to send it to his brother for analysis (if it’s truly fake).
For the time being, I actually believed it was blood, of the way he started talking
again; saying he cut his arm, but claiming it “wasn’t that much”.
…Wasn’t. that. much!? The knife, is half-covered IN BLOOD!! That’s not a cut, that’s a fucking stab wound!! Get to the hospital before you bleed out!!! But he kept procrastinating, claiming his arm hurts so much. Yet never did it hit me to tell him to apply extreme pressure to minimize the bleeding. I don’t know why.
Tried to keep him talking, trying to keep him awake before he passes out from blood
loss (since he’s too stubborn to get to the hospital). Soon I figured out why he did it (and he claimed he was going to actually stab himself in the heart)… WildBoy. Of all the reasons you’re choosing to consider committing suicide.. you chose one of the DUMBEST!? SERIOUSLY?!
This got to a point where I decided to let Kovo take over, as my hands were
shaking, knowing I’ve tried everything to convince him not to do this (but he is persistent to offing himself, claiming he has no point of living anymore if WildBoy doesn’t love him).
I started crying IRL, begging him one last time to reconsider, saying “I lost Jero.. I don’t want to lose you too”.
Kovo’s brother eventually answered, saying “they’re trying really hard to make this look real”… that was all the proof I needed that Insanely was lying to me. So, I said to
him “Actually, you know what? Nevermind. Do it. Because you don’t have the fucking balls!” Followed by “I know you faked your injury.” Then he tried to make me feel guilty by calling me. I knew he was going to try to imitate stabbing himself. Ended the call
quickly, saying “No calls. Just confess you lied. I have proof from a cop that knife doesn’t have actual blood. So come clean.”
With all the evidence showing he lied, he was forced to admit the entire thing, saying that he doesn’t have the balls. He also claims that he “just dont understand” what he committed. Oh, you don’t know? Allow me to remind you..
1. You freaked me out thinking you were actually going to kill yourself.
2. You showed me a picture with a knife that looked like blood.. that really wasn’t.
3. You came up with a very dumb reason to kill yourself (relationship issues).
4. ..You made me cry for five minutes.. because I ACTUALLY FUCKING CARED ABOUT YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!
You, are NOT my son. Not anymore. Consider yourself, disowned! Then he tells me he would “miss me”. I said “I won’t miss you, you lying sack of shit. Maybe when you actually grow some empathy for what you’ve done.. come back to me.” Then I blocked him, and it hurt.. a lot. Even to the time I’m writing this, it still hurts me that someone would stoop this low to lie.
You. need. help.
Kovo took over, while Insanely is suddenly all “I’m sorry I’m sorry!!”, begging to Kovo not to block him. Kovo’s all “you do not do that to your friends”. Damn straight!!
After that, Blueberry (Insanely’s BF) DM’d me. I’m thinking “ahh hell” and decided to use this to come clean and say that Insanely has been cheating on him. ..Yet he already knew this, saying all Insanely cares for anymore is sex (not love or compassion). This explains so, so much. Insanely has learned.. NOTHING, from me. Claiming he cared so much for what I went through, was probably another lie. All the kid knows how to do, is
lie!
But Blueberry didn’t know about the knife covered in fake blood. Showed him the
image, and he went quiet. Asked him if he was OK, but he was busy dealing with
Insanely (who was lying even more of Blueberry sending me images of their
DM, claiming “my father dont love me”).
Lies and more lies. 1. I’m not your father anymore. 2.. How, DARE you say I never loved you!!! You, are truly, a sack of shit. But Blueberry was more pissed at Insanely not understanding what ‘love’ means, and I decided it was best to focus on that instead of
myself, to not risk losing another friend.
Soon, Blueberry was done with Insanely, fully dumping him over never showing true
love (and for lying to me in one of the worst ways imaginable). After that, I encouraged him to play some VRChat with me (so we can hang out and relax).
Kovo was right all-along. Ever since Aftershock dumped Insanely, he’s been like this.
Kovo said that he (Insanely) was only looking for attention. Speaking to Frost who wasn’t surprised at all of the news (saying he himself was like that when he was young), said the same thing; he’s ‘just a kid’ looking for attention. But he gave me a huge hug and said he was sorry for what I went through.
.
It still hurts, and it still makes me cry at times of what I had to do. But it’s normal to feel this.. for I have compassion for others (that I don’t know IRL). But BlueBio and Blueberry made it better, spending time with me that entire night.
That is the power of true friendship right there, folks; friends who stay with you, hug and tell you everything will be OK. *can feel himself tearing up and crying for saying that*
And I will never, turn down true friendship when I’m like this. It is my strength to continue on with life.
Infact today (as I type this), Blueberry offered to be my new RP son. But I’m not so sure if I can accept it, as I feel Aftershock should be it (since he protects him). Plus.. this is the same Blueberry I had a crush on earlier in the year. So I just don’t know, thought he
claims “no one would care”. ..Kovo would, and I’m pretty sure Aftershock definitely would.
So, yeah.
EDIT: The next night, Aftershock thought that I was against him with how Blueberry
is “acting like he wants me dead”. And at the time, he was “so scared about blueberry” he was actually shaking. But Blueberry calmed down his anxiety, I assume explaining
everything (I didn’t see the conversation for obvious reasons).
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EDIT2: The night after that, Aftershock DMs me messages between him and
Insanely.. only wanting to say hi to me and to apologize. You should also be apologizing to Blueberry for not showing him true love. After telling Aftershock I deny Insanely’s
apology, he asked me to explain the entire thing that lead to this. So I did, and he thanked me, saying that it isn’t a matter of staying true and loyal to Blueberry, it’s just that Insanely is “just way too obsessed with sex”.
Here’s to hoping it’s just a teenage phase that’ll pass.
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EDIT3: Last night (7/22/19), Blueberry’s now in talks with Insanely again (to check up on him), and sends me DMs just like Aftershock did. This time, Insanely seems to want to make amends with me, wanting to talk to me when he gets back from his vacation (on August 4th). Insanely claims he “feels terrible”.
Blueberry also tells me that Insanely wants to get back together with him, but is
unsure. Since he is also young and doesn’t really know how love works, I told him that Insanely needs to prove to you that he will love him as a person, instead of as an
object (aka to show love and compassion, instead of just for sex). But according to Blueberry, Insanely (going by his own words) is “a slut”.. and that’s not a good thing to
be, when you’re underage.
As for this thing to make amends.. mmmm.. fine. I’ll hear him out on August 4th. But I swear Insanely, no more lies. No more of this bullshit that you did. You need to win back my trust.
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EDIT4: 7/23/19, 9 minutes before my bedtime (when I was with BlueBio, the newest one to enter my friends with benefits list since the day before yesterday), Blueberry sends me another DM from Insanely of him asking Blueberry for a favor.. wanting to come forward with me, right now.
“I thought he said August 4th” I pondered, but Blueberry is as confused as I am. I’m thinking Insanely is getting desperate to bury the hatchet, but Blueberry says “i tink thats when he want to talk like in a voice chat”.
But that really doesn’t make sense to me. It has to be desperation to get this taken care
of. Perhaps it’s been driving him mad for so long, it’s ruining his vacation.
So, fine. I have unblocked him in Discord (and have to refriend as he only allows friends to DM). I’ll be updating this once I get either a vocal or (preferred) written response from him.
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The (written) response came in around 4:16pm, and I’m glad he chose written instead of vocal (as it’s obviously easier for me to remember). So, for as a summary, he is telling me the core of what caused this entire mess, is that he has autism. Okay, a likely story. I dealt with Joker (who too has autism), and he never once tried to fake a suicide to get
attention. So, any more lies?
Yet he sticks to it, claiming he takes pills, and the reason for the mess is his mother decided to say “Oh, you don’t need those pills. Let’s see how long you can handle without them”. He even wanted to show me a picture of said pills (when he has a chance) to prove he’s telling the truth, and claims his mother now sees that it’s important to stay on
them.
Mmmm… I dunno. And honestly, I’m not really mad anymore. Mainly because of
Frost (when I spoke to him the night after) downplaying it, saying “kids do it all the time”. It’s just the principle of lying to me, that I don’t like. No-one, likes being lied to. And Insanely… is trying to convince me that he understands this. And as I type this, I’m not sure if I should believe him. But then again.. he just a kid. I can’t stay annoyed at him forever. Though there’s still room for improvement.
As for the suicide thing, he claims he “hardly” knew what he was even doing. “it was so fast i couldn’t understand what I was doing it” he claims, and he also wants to make it up to me when he gets back from his vacation on August 4th. But Insanely.. the only thing I really would want to see, is you to be back to what you were before all of the sex stuff
happened; when he was happy, and I was happy.
He understands this, telling me he “felt depressed I felt miserable to see you hurt for my stupidity and wrong decisions”. This, IMO, is good. This is showing remorse for what he’s done. It also shows that he never meant to do what he did (unlike the last three that
did).
But, I still cannot fully forgive him (which is why I turned down his request to be my RP son).. not yet, until he shows proof of this medicine. Though Aftershock (when I showed him the conversation), felt like more proof is needed to make sure Insanely isn’t going to pull up a stock image (which he feels the fake bloody knife came from). And I’ll have to wait for that proof until he gets back from his vacation (on August 4th).
Kovo feels I’ll never see the proof, and Insanely is lying about having autism. But Aftershock has hope Insanely will come through.