I don’t know how to describe it, but I’m not sure if I fully love him (or feel like I’m being used, where he can get his kicks). Something just feels.. off over this. And this time I don’t feel it’s me.
Now I know what he’s into, but it’s hard to really get a feel for this love of how little (if ever) he’ll actually come online. Though I don’t feel he’s ‘avoiding me’ or anything like that. No, not this time. I know he works at a theature (just like Nighwolf), and he works a lot. For example, last weekend he was working his ass off.
So, here’s a list I compiled of the things that are making me question the legitimacy of this relationship;
-May be just like me (living with his parents), but unlike me.. has no dedicated room for his computer. In other words, he may get on, but it’s not always the same time.
-Doesn’t talk much (might be shy, even around me).
-Cares for sex more than snuggles (could prove difficult to get to know him more).
-Gets bored when around friends he doesn’t know (and seems to have no intention of introducing himself to them. Again, might just be shy).
And the most problematic thing, I don’t know how to talk to him about this. But I was the same way when I first met Wuffer, except I had different feelings (and not many made me question if the love felt real, only that if he would handle my faults, which I’ve already told Ron and he’s OK with them).
But, I dunno. Some part of me feels that we should just be better off as ‘just friends with benefits’ before this goes any further. Hell, I never expected him to say ‘sure’ right off the bat if he wanted me to be his BF. …I don’t even think he knows what it means. Or maybe he does. I dunno. It’s confusing, and I feel I’m going to fuck up if I ask him too many questions.