What a week it’s been, and wow.. what a day I had yesterday. I feel choked up with the feelings that are going through my head. Wuffer, is speaking to me again. It’s a miracle.
now, and it seems Wuffer might be missing the good times we had together.
And finally, something happened a day ago with McBreezyDizzy (or just ‘Breezy’ for
short, and has been giving me cuddles).
So, let’s start..
–
As I said, something happened a day ago after Kovo and I got on VRChat after a five-hour session of playing ASTRONEER. Joined Kovo’s world, ran into him and others. Breezy comes up to me and tells me to look at his Nanachi ass, saying he’s bi and is now cuddling me.
The.. fuck?! He claims being a Nanachi may had changed him to be more lewd. He left sometime after almost ramming someone up the ass (to avoid being seen). I rub my head in confusion and tell Kovo “I thought he was straight. He told Nigh and myself that he was.” But Kovo claims Breezy came up to him and said he was bi.
I think he was probably drunk at the time and told Kovo this, and he feels the same way. But if he’s not… mmm. I might as well ‘test’ it out (if you get what I mean).
—
Next day (yesterday), was the evening and I asked Kovo if he wanted to play ASTRONEER. But he said he wanted to get on VRChat to “check something”. I decided to play a few VR games instead (one of them is somehow now having Google Earth VR now displaying normally in WMR). Guessing the upgrade allowed this to happen (which means there’s a possibility the first level in Job Simulator might work as well. Definitely need to try).
After getting fed up trying to get the solar eclipse scenarios to work (and they
wouldn’t), I went into VRChat to meet Kovo and the others. This time, Breezy wasn’t
there (was in a private world). Sent him a few invites, but nothing.
Time went on as more people joined… one of them being my ex-BF. The hell does he want I wondered, but I stood there hoping this time, he might actually acknowledge my presence. …Sure enough, he waved at me. Hmm. Waited for him to do more, but he hung out with a few of my friends, looking like he was having a good time.
He left to go somewhere else after, and I felt a bit relieved (but also semi-curious of why he showed up after always avoiding me).
Was getting tired waiting for Breezy to show up, and saw Garruk on. Thought hopefully I could go there and pay him a visit, and did. Saw him as a sergal, with a bunch of other sergals (one of them was hugging him). I stayed back, just incase this was his BF and could still be kind of pissed at me. But nothing happened there and I got to talk to Garruk after many weeks of avoiding him (since he felt speaking to me would only hurt getting back with his BF).
Stayed there for awhile.. Wuffer showed up too. Can only assume to hang out with his friends (or possibly his new BF). One time he was kind of away from the others, and I walked over to him and asked him “so… found anyone special in your life?”, and he kept quiet. So I did the same thing, pretty sure I offended him for asking. Someone else hung out with him later, and I overheard the two talking about relationships.
Wuffer said that he is having trouble with finding anyone that lives near him. He also said that there’s three kinds of people that are getting in the way: ones that are already
taken, ones that are (and he paused for a bit) straight, and ones that live far away.
This made me think for a bit, that I may’ve gotten why he left me.. wrong. Maybe, he was actually telling the truth (that this has nothing to do with me). I let him go, so he could be happy. That’s.. it.
–
The person left to talk to others in the same world, while Wuffer stared at the mirror and messing around with his camera. I still wondered what he was doing here (standing infront of the mirror just like me). Began to wonder what was going on through his mind, as if he was waiting for me to do something.
He eventually did do something (cuddling my head, and drawing purple sunglasses over my eyes).
Heh, cool.
–
Breezy joins the world sometime after this and starts cuddling me like before. I asked him “are you feeling better now?”, he questioned me. Told him about the whole ‘going bi’ thing, and he said that he’s “getting training” from two people. Made me wonder.. if I could be the third. But I couldn’t ask him here with people around (especially with Wuffer near me). So I bided my time, waiting for the right moment. Time passed and Moon_Shadow also joined (with Wuffer harassing him with the shark puppet). Moon however wanted to hide from everyone, and Wuffer apologized and gave him a hug, saying he knows how to make him feel better (and he did).
A few hours later, Breezy says he’s going to see another friend and head to bed. This is as good of a time as any of asking him to talk to me in a private area. At least, it seemed private enough when I told him, as I noticed Wuffer and Lone walking over to a private area too (but looking at me).
Told him I didn’t mean any relationship, and he said he was fine with that… then got on the floor and {TMI Material, blocking this}. Let’s just say it caught me off-guard, and I was trying to say “Breezy.. not here!!” Then he left a bit afterwards. I turn my head and see Wuffer and Lone staring at me. Casually walked over to them, thinking they too were talking something in private. Wuffer runs up to me and asks “what was that all about?”
I tried to lie my way out of it, but Wuffer knew I was and asked “are you and Breezy in a relationship?” I said no, and “alright, I’ll be honest” about Breezy ‘turning bi’, which he was hoping not to hear and looked away from me. ..Well, you asked, dude. Besides, it’s none of your business what I do.
Others joined us just as we finished our private conversation. Talked to them for a
bit, then told them “let’s go back to the others”. But noticed most of them were already gone. Felt like I should go back and see Kovo, so I did. Kept thinking “why now of all times is Wuffer hanging out with me? Is this a sign he might want to get back together?”, but I kept it to myself (not wanting to really assume anything compared to before).
Got to the mirror to hang out with them. Surprisingly, Wuffer followed me (as well as a few other friends). Breezy was here too (though I don’t think he followed me).
–
Not much happened here, despite Kovo telling me two of his friends are trying to do a new world in Space Engineers (and feel I should host it, as apparently I have the fastest download speed of this small group to play the game). Told them I would “definitely consider it”.
The rest of the time there, was just general chatting and some fun. Though I did remind Kovo that he told me earlier, he might do a movie night. And much later he sent me an invite when I was with a few randoms and a friend (and we were all Dragonite).
Went to the world, only a few there. We watched John Wick.. damn good movie. Surprised I never watched it before. This guy is like the fucking Terminator.
Hearing rain outside, I grabbed my phone to check the radar. Got a message from
Wuffer, saying he still has my phone number. Hmm.
A few more joined after the movie ended, and we then watched Venom. Another pretty good movie. And as I was watching it, a white paw showed up in my viewpoint. I originally thought it was Frost, then I turned around.. Wuffer?! Okay, seriously. Why now? Desperate to find someone, and are now resorting back to me?
But, I waved and watched the video. Time passed and he sat next to me, cuddling me a bit and even looking like he fell asleep on my left shoulder for a bit. I.. didn’t even care about the movie anymore. I was… WOW. “happy” just doesn’t cut it. He was there, close to
me. If this was his way of apologizing for what he put me through, I accept it.
Later, he said he had to go to bed, and I gave him a goodnight kiss. And before he left, I heard him call me a cutie. He still loves me. 🙂
Continued watching the movie after that, Wuffer DMing and booping me, and I booped him back, still happy to be speaking to him again. Then the movie ended, and most of them went to bed (I logged off to begin typing this post, and nearly stayed up to 6 in the morning to do so, fearing I was going to forget most of this).
–
Now Wuffer wants to hang out with me more (even asking if I would like to join him in VRChat). Depending on what happens, I’ll likely be making another post (or just editing this one).
EDIT: I now know the reasoning why Wuffer hung out with me. I figured it out at
the (literal) end of ever getting back with him (as I met his BF). But, I am glad he did hang out. That alone, means a lot.
So the reasoning, is simply he felt sorry for not holding up his deal of the ‘bargain’ when we parted ways (doing everything we did, but as friends). I’m no longer mad at him because of this. He’s talking to me more, and hanging out. And I should do the same (to show there’s no hard feelings).
So who’s the boyfriend? Someone I didn’t expect (who is damn determined to make it work); Sneaky. I saw the two hugging and kissing. At first, it really hurt. A bit later as Wuffer’s getting ready to go to work, I walked up to Sneaky and gave him a thumbs up. Then I said “congratulations, Sneaky.” He said “I told you I’m going to make this work. I’m stubborn.” Told him I was really happy for him, but said in a depressed tone “I wish I found someone”. He said “you will”.
Then said (in a slight painful tone while pointing to Wuffer) “It’s just going to be hard getting rid of the good times I had with him.” He said “it’s time to move on, because I’m not letting him go. You’ll have to shoot me in the head.” I’m not that kind of guy that would take someone’s life over something so stupid.
Wuffer (somewhat) came back, but not talking. Said to the two “I hope and pray that you two have a long and happy relationship together.” And all Sneaky said was “as long as no shit comes up, it will.”
One of my friends just happened to come out of a private world. Perfect timing, and told them that I would see them later. When going to the world, I could only feel sadness and pain as my emotions suddenly rushed out. Even typing this, I can feel sadness. A tear came out of my right eye as I finally loaded in, hoping the friend I went to would feel compassion.
–
And he did. I am very thankful to have friends like him who enjoy giving hugs and cuddles. Don’t know how I’m going to get over the times I had with Wuffer (without finding someone to replace them)– but at least now I know the truth, and have to accept it. Which means, nothing is going to change (as long as Wuffer doesn’t change). I will still hang out with him as much as I can (but no longer feeling any true feelings towards him).
I just hope I’ll eventually meet someone that would love me like he did (if not
more).
Because the more I think about it, I just.. don’t think what Jusper said about finding friends with benefits is going to work for me. I want to feel true love (that I would feel proud to tell my friends). Of course, I’m not going to shoo away anyone that wants to give me a good time of a one night stand.
And finally, to wrap up this chapter of my life (for good), I’m not going to be telling anyone about this (not even Kovo), as there’s not much they can do for me. I’m going to act as normal as I have been (while trying desperately to get Wuffer out of my mind, so I can move on).