Last night, Wuffer and I did what we had done before; used our phones to talk while we went to bed. Finally I’m able to use the new phone for its intended purpose. But, the same issue from my Android phone still persists (the mic disabling when plugging in my earbuds).
Only thing I can think of, is to find some kind of earbuds that have a built-in mic. This way, only I will hear him while I talk (and he won’t hear himself).
Woke up about 11:30am, looked over and saw “call failed”. The fuck?? He said the next time we do this, to use Discord instead. So we’ll try it.
Also, I told him how my current earbuds are dying (because of my damn ears over-producing wax, gumming everything up), and thought of getting a pair of headphones instead (ones that won’t go in the ear). And he shared this, of what he currently has. Typically the price is $125, but I was in luck of the price dropping to $75 (about a 30% savings). It’s wireless (connects to my existing Bluetooth 4.0 dongle), so I don’t have to deal with any more cables. Also has a mic, so hopefully a clearer voice (and more noise cancellation).
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So I placed the order (free shipping, scheduled to arrive either by the end of this week or Wednesday of next week). Also ordered the thing I needed for my phone, supposed to arrive on the 3rd (no free shipping with that one)… though at the time I’m writing this, I’m wondering if that was a good idea (and may have to cancel it).
Anyway, I joined him at Moon_Shadow’s birthday party. He has turned 21 years old, and good for him. Now he can legally drink (if he wanted to). We had a lot of fun. There’s a piece of cake that can kill you if you’re hit by it (or you can kill yourself). We were having fun trying to see who got the cake slice and trolled their friends with it. There were also party poppers and celser bottles to spray friends with (some took it a bit too far by acting like they were.. ya know). But hey, what do you expect from stereotypical furries?
Wuffer on the other hand, was still quite sleepy from this outing he had Saturday (and stayed with me instead of going to bed early). So I stayed with him and gave him
cuddles, and he enjoyed that.
Only other thing to note.. Garruk showed up. But I think he saw myself being near
Wuffer, that he possibly understood what this meant. One time he did get really close to me and was nuzzling my leg (while Wuffer was nuzzling my face). So I asked him “so
how’s your boyfriend? Have you two been enjoying life?” Either he didn’t really like me asking that, or I couldn’t understand what he said. It makes me happier it never worked out between us (and Wuffer stepped in when he did).
Overall? Absolutely no drama happened. Wuffer and I are both quite happy with that.
Fast forward to this morning, I am now quite worried I may have just lost him (for good). We were watching YouTube videos, then Kovo sends me a request to join us. I tell Wuffer this, and he asks “who?” I said “Kovo asked me if he can come here.” Again he askes
“who?” ..What? Have you forgotten who Kovo is all the sudden? I saw him looking through a menu as I was trying to explain what was going on, then he says “all I know is something very important came up and I have to go.” Asked if he would be gone long, and he never answered (only repeating what he said). Before he left, I almost heard him saying “I love you”, so I said “I love you too” while nuzzling his muzzle.
Then he leaves into another private world, and stayed there for hours. He has muted himself in the call.
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I tried my best to stay calm, actually hanging out with Kovo again (seems everything’s OK between us, so that’s good). But what really made me sick was looking at his ingame status… changed back to ‘Single’ (back to before he DMd me). The HELL is GOING ON?! And so this is the part what I meant by “I feel I just lost him”, as I saw him log out. He still hasn’t called me, and won’t respond to DMs. He won’t even answer his phone (got his answering machine). I can almost see the hell Lone went with Wufy those three
days, not knowing what the hell he did.
And just like him, I don’t know what to think! Did he go after Ballistic for answers (even though I told him to let it go, how that’s all in the past now)? Or could it had been something ‘simple’ as a problem in his family, that his grandfather may’ve passed away. …But that doesn’t explain why he was in a private world for hours, and changed his status back to before he DMed me.
One thing I have noticed, he hasn’t blocked me in Discord or unfriended me in
VRChat. I’m confused and feel sick to my stomach. But maybe I’m just overreacting (as usual).
So… all I can do is wait for the afternoon and try to call him when I get up, see if he’ll respond then. And if he does, he’ll probably say “what do you mean you saw my status change? You know I still love you. I said it before I left.”
That to me is the only positive outcome, and I would explain to him what Lone went through with Wufy (how he was worried too).
EDIT: Woke up around 10:41am, my stomach feeling sick from feeling worried. Tried calling him again, no response. Checked Discord… he’s playing VRChat?! WHAT THE FUCK?! Is he cheating on me?!
Okay, I was willing to say that he “fell off the face of the planet”, and then I see that. Now I feel even more sick, and my head starts singing the Scooby-Doo song (but having it replaced with Wuffer).
“Wuffer Wuffer Doo, where are you? I need you here with me now!
Wuffer Wuffer Doo, where ARE YOU?! Why are you doing this to me now??
You know we got back together and you do this thing to me, where are you? Answer me! Please answer your phone so I won’t have to worry again! Come on dude!”
A few minutes before it was time to officially get out of bed, he calls me in Discord. He tells me that he “must’ve fallen asleep” and is extremely sorry for making me worry. Then it occurred to me (with that picnic thing he had Saturday morning and didn’t get enough sleep), and I feel dumb. As for VRChat, he was surprised to hear his status changed. So that means both VRChat and Discord were trolling me by displaying outdated status reports. Fuckin’ A.
*deep sighs* Thank goodness that’s over.
EDIT2: This evening has been quite rocky, and I even once thought he lied to me about that whole thing this morning. It got to the point where I decided to fully cancel the order for the earbuds (with the mic). But since things are good again, I have since reordered them, but they’ll be coming three days later than originally ordered.
Anyway, yesterday I asked DJ for the ‘Quantum Armband’ (the one I’ve seen used to show the name of their lover ingame). Told Wuffer that the hell I went through positioning
it, I would need to help him (via Parsec) if he wanted it. He acted like he wanted to, but we never had a time for it. Evening came and he still didn’t seem interested, so I tried to get my headset ready to play VRChat.
Had to get the batteries replaced, and that’s when I started talking to myself, frustrated about all of this. I feel like he’s doing it again; refusing to tell me what’s on his mind. I kept asking him “is everything OK, hun?”, he said Yes, but I felt he was lying to me. So I asked him if the armband was a sign of ‘rushing it’, and he said yes. Promptly went in Unity and disabled the band on my avatar (for now), and told him. Then he tells me something that convinced me was the reason why he left and didn’t come back on ’till nearly 12pm.
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At 11pm last night, he said Ren sent him a DM reminding him of an unfortunate lie I told Wuffer (how I was bi when I was actually straight). *sighs* One of the main reasons why we broke up.
I went after Ren in hopes I could convince him (“this time it’s different, I’m 100%
bi!”), while also trying to convince Wuffer. Though I did, he asked “what about real life?” This is when I was forced to tell him something too embarrassing to mention in here, that I can ‘handle it’. He then went partially mute when I said “I’ll give you some time. If you still don’t believe me, then I completely understand.”
During that time, I explained everything I said to myself; holding nothing back.. even mentioning about how I was ‘happy’ when Ballistic told me (and I told Lone). Finally ending by saying “honestly, I feel you should forget about me and seek out an actual gay person instead of a bi”. The reason I said that, is he seems to get ‘bi’ mixed with ‘gay’.
He came back, asking in a concerned tone “you really want me to forget about you?” Stopped talking for just a bit, then sighed and said “Wuffer, I just want you to be
happy.” He asks “why do you think I’m not happy?” I asked “are you truly happy with
me, even from what happened before?”.. and he quickly said “Yes!!” Then I said I swear I will never lie to him again, that it was a mistake and it’ll never happen.
He thanked me for being honest for him, adding on that he dated someone about 7-8 years ago, and this was the first in a very long time he’s heard someone being so honest with him.
And.. I choked up after that, wanting to do nothing but hug him so tight and tell him how much I love him. He wanted to do the same. Thank you, for being more than just a true
friend, but being someone I can trust who will always tell me if something’s bothering you about us.
So at the end, we not only saved our relationship, we made it even stronger than before. 🙂 Personally, I feel we should take our Discord call up a notch and switch to video. I want to see the face (in realtime) that loves me. He saw mine when I tried out FaceTime for the first time, but I feel this needs to happen more. Only then will we finally see the love outside of our avatars (how he wants it).
As for the armband, as I said it will wait for a later time. I want him to feel comfortable. Also, he defended what he told me about falling asleep, happily clearing my assumption that it was my fault he did (it never was.. very happy for that).
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Finally he said he’s going to be a Twitch streamer on VRChat. Quite happy for him, and said I’ll make sure to stop by to say hi (and give him a kiss).
I am so relieved we’re still together, but as I said, I need to see the face behind the wolf avatar. It’s the only way to see if this relationship will work IRL (as he wants it).