So that random I mentioned that was cuddling me on that train? It appears he (name is ‘Garruk’ ingame) wants to be more than just friends (even though we just met).
Perhaps, he’s desperate for love? He’s a sweet guy, I’ll give him that. But, I feel he’s rushing it.. especially when he’s going for sex even before I start to get attached to him. But I went with it as that’s how desperate I am. :/
Though I did discover he’s..
-25 years old
–Is OK that I’m 17 years older than he is
-Is Finnish (but does his best to speak English)
-Has a Vive with full body tracking (I think)
-Claims he isn’t good at a lot of things
-Claims he’s ‘seen me before’ and has been playing since 2017
-Has a Battle.net account in his Discord profile. Assuming he plays a lot of Overwatch or some other Blizzard game (perhaps Dota 2, or Starcraft). Or who knows.. even WoW?
Still want to talk to him before we really make this go any further. As Lone
said, communication is key to a healthy relationship (even a fledgling one). I want to get to know him better (and him to know me). And who knows.. maybe the sex thing was a one night stand and now he’ll stop seeing me. Anything’s possible at this stage (such as him being another Wuffer, or a close friend of him).
EDIT: So… he fucked up BIG time (and is greatly regretting his mistake).
To be brief as I can, I went to go see him today. He was in a room with two others (one was really close to him). Before I joined, he told me “no snuggling :P” in a DM.. odd, but okay. Maybe he felt too shy around others to see us cuddling, or I just fucked up and this is Garruk’s polyrelationship.
Later, he told me in a DM the truth.. he has a boyfriend, and forgot to tell me.
You can’t be serious.. why didn’t you tell me this before?! He knows what he did was wrong and wishes it would had never happened. And as to why he never told me
sooner, he said he was “too scared” to do so. ..Too scared?! *sighs* Buddy, we need to have a long talk about why communication is extremely important for any relationship (even friendship, it’s still important.. not as important as a romantic relationship, but still). Wasn’t kidding of that long talk– nearly two hours. And he told me everything. And what he told me, I can almost see a lot of my own love life within him.
He said he used to have a boyfriend for ‘nearly three weeks’. During this, the other guy told him that he wanted to get into a poly with a 3rd guy, but Garruk wanted it to be closed. The guy agreed, but Garruk felt the guy wasn’t truly happy, and let him go from his own doubt.
A ‘few days ago’ as he claims, the two got back together. Yet Garruk was still feeling guilt over what he did.. hence what happened with me. Garruk did the right thing and told
him, and he’s (understandably) disappointed in him. Garruk has been trying to make it up to him, but I told him to give the guy some space and prayed the guy will forgive him and they’ll keep their relationship. Though I also want to try to talk to this guy and try to show him that Garruk’s a great guy, and the two really should move on from this.
Thing is.. this guy is 16, and he’s 25. But here’s the unnerving part.. he, doesn’t see a problem with it. *cough* Dude, you’re me.
How are you a copy of my previous love life?! Someone that not just gets me, but mirrors my feelings of what I had for Lunar and Blueberry. And just like me, he even echoed “you need to be a better person” (that Kovo told me), but coming from his friends.
He gets my struggles, but this doesn’t mean it’s now OK to do so.
—
As for me, I’m a bit heartbroken from the news, but luckily it never really took off. So I should be OK in a few days. I accept his apology. He also said “if I was single, I definitely would like to get to know you better”. That’s sweet of him to say, but it still stings. It will always sting when your mind feels ‘this is normal’ to be nuzzling someone in a passionate way, and then the ‘love drug’ kicks in (and you want more of it).
I say the same thing to Plasmic, but he.. I dunno. After that day, it feels he doesn’t really want to be around me (more than just a regular friend). Maybe he secretly has a crush on Jusper (which is what Garruk said when he saw me). He thought I was jealous of the
two.
Pfft.. me, jealous that I’m still single and totally not wishing I had someone in my life that would love me?! Don’t be silly. I’m not jealous!
Yes.. yes I am. 🙁
But, at least I’ve learned to ask if the person is in a current relationship. One thing Lone told me, is a heartbreak is good as it helps you to learn what not to do the next time you find someone.