Well, I can’t be the only one, can I? Probably lots of people who wish they had money this weekend (especially with Cyber Monday approaching).
Though it’s quite painful to me. Since September, my finances have been a slow moving train wreck. And it was only fueled by bad management on my part, plus these yearly
bills that come out about this time (my domain & Pandora One).
But what hurts the worst (and sent me into a mood beyond ‘salty’), was Mel getting a Vive during the event, and saying it’s “so much better” than WMR. I could not think straight when I saw the news. I wanted to be happy for him, but I also wanted to say “I hope you choke on it!!”
Everytime I try to calm myself down by saying “he worked hard for it, he deserves it”.. it changes my anger into a deep depression, knowing I could had fucking saved up and actually gotten the hardware I require (instead of always talking about it). And this refuels my anger again… and the cycle repeats indefinitely, getting more and more pissed off at myself for not preparing for this.
I could hear nothing but laughter directed at me, and saying I’m going to be stuck with this hardware until the day I die. Also hearing how I fucked up, and could had saved.
–
It took another friend to finally calm myself down to a point I could think about my situation. I reminded myself of why I didn’t save up after I had upgraded back in
2011 (when I was still skittish about working inside of a computer). It was simply because, it felt I didn’t need to. Every game I played, seemed to run alright. The FX 4350, was pretty beefy back then. The only upgrade I made, was to get 16GB of DDR3 RAM (when I was playing WoW).
Though, seeing more and more games requiring (at minimum) a quad core processor, should had been a warning sign to start saving up. But I didn’t. For once, my computer is pretty stable. And I feared if I upgraded, I would be right back to where I was going through GPUs like candy (because of the graphic glitches).
The 750Ti (bless its soul), became the answer to those glitches. That’s why I was a bit hesitant (years later) to upgrade to this RX 580. But thankfully it proved to be a solid graphics card (as well as a solid upgrade), in order to get me into ‘entry level VR’.
–
As for the CPU that’s been the thorn in my finger since 2016, there is no way I could had predicted that the Ryzen V1 series chipsets were coming out in Q3 2017. If I had KNOWN, I would had saved at least $600-$700 and been ready for it!
I even tried to, but bills got in the way.
This is why next year (after I get the shit done with moving this website to
GoDaddy), things are going to be different. As soon as I get my monthly check, I’m going to take (at least) $50 out and throw it in a safe deposit box. This way, I won’t end up spending it by mistake.
I have to be passive-aggressive with myself (aka make sacrifices), if I want to claim this long-awaited upgrade as my own. It’s time to STOP talking about saving up, to doing.
And even at that (when I do eventually upgrade), it’s still possibly going to be Black Friday 2019 when I have enough to either buy an Oculus or a Vive. I haven’t decided on which, but given how people I know are telling me that they’re being given the finger by Oculus when having an issue with their headsets, I might just go with a Vive.
It is afterall, highly supported by Steam.
Then later on, maybe I’ll get leg trackers. That way people will be able to see what I look like when I’m sitting in my chair.
–
But… we’ll see. I can’t predict what will happen in 2019. My health could fail and that would end any chances of saving.