I FINALLY manned up and… did naughty illegal things. 😛 I downloaded an ISO of the game off the Pirate Bay. So illegal. But let’s say, Nintendo deserves it for not allowing Youtubers to show videos of their games without having their ass (and their balls) sued.
I was willing to give them lots of money to own a Wii (maybe a Wii U on top of it). But, nope. They done .. do this.
What am I saying? Yes! The review. New Super Mario Bros Wii. Released back in 2009 (making it 6 years old). Game runs fine through Dolphin. It’s quite fun, and I love how every now and then, when a specific beat of every song happens, all enemies on the screen will dance. How long they dance is low long this specific beat happens. Goombas will jump, Koopas will swing their arms and legs(as if they’re dancing), and the fish will roll. To say it’s ‘cute’, yes. It gives a new level of awesome in the Mario universe.
There’s brand new powerups, such as the propeller hat which takes advantage of the Wiimote’s shake feature. Though since I’m now currently using my PS4 controller(getting the fucking thing to work with my computer was a pain in the ass. Will explain later), I’m using my right stick to “shake” the Emulated Wiimote up.
There’s also the Penguin suit, unlocked in World 3. And finally the Ice Flower. An Ice version of the Fire Flower which can freeze an enemy solid on impact for a short period of time. It can knock flying enemies out of the sky.
The music in the game is lovely. Hell, I can’t get the Overworld music out of my head.
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But then there’s something that really… really makes me mad. It’s these ‘Hint Movies’. If you fail a total of 8 times to complete a level, the game literally takes pity on your soul. You can use it to have Luigi fucking show me off (yet never bothers to get those star coins).
And then, once he’s done laughing in my face that he completed the level (which takes me 25+ times)… the game has the nerve to say “So, you saw how it’s done. Care to not suck ass at platformer games (that you should had mastered back in the 1990’s) and try again?”
Shit makes me want to throw down my controller. Of course everything I said above, doesn’t really happen (in that way). But it definitely sure feels like it. When I see the green box on my 8th death with that ringing sound, it’s like I hear “Wow, you really suck this bad?! Here, let me help you!”
I don’t need Nintendo to ‘hold my hand’. I’ll fucking GET this level done.. eventually!!
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Right. Time for the review. The words “no option” are used a lot;
Good;
-Memorial characters, like any Mario game.
-Awesome music, and occasionally seeing enemies dancing to it.
-Like some of the Mario games before it, you can replay old levels.
-It’s like 2D and 3D in one game. It’s just, really awesome.
-When rescuing a Toad, you hear the level complete music from Super Mario Bros 1.
-Most of the sounds of the game are from the original Super Mario Bros.
-Completing one of the Toad house minigames, gives you instant powerups (just select them before getting in a level). You can use these to help you clear a tough level.
Bad;
-Having Dash set to its own key instead of the D-Pad.
-The whole Save Toad thing seems to take place on the same level, multiple times. Can get quite annoying.
-Having to hold the ‘1’ button (my Triangle key) when carrying a Toad to rescue all the way to the exit. No toggable option to make it easier?
-You can’t spam fireballs or ice balls like you could in the other Mario games. Now it’s 2 balls every 1.5 seconds.
-Quick Saving isn’t what I expect. You can only truly save after defeating one of the Koopalings in their castle. The Quick Save is misleading, as it doesn’t save your game between playthroughs.
-The ‘Hint Movies’ are… UGH! Fail enough times trying to complete a level, and Nintendo takes pity on you.
-Getting the Star Coins are rather pointless. All they are is a currency to unlock Hint Movies (the things I mentioned above).
Issues relating to the Dolphin Emulator;
-No save game option. If the thing crashes for no reason, you gotta redo the same levels all over again.
-Was forced to use my PS4 controller, as it was even more of a bitch to configure all the buttons of the Wiimote to my keyboard (and not have them reset on me).
-Possible crash on World 1, Level 1-6. When going up a beanstalk and down the other pipe, the game blackscreens after going in the pipe (yet doesn’t officially crash). Looked online, and no one’s reporting it (or Google again doesn’t know what I’m looking for).
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Final Verdict: As pretty and cute as this game and its characters are, the fact I cannot save (and actually keep said save between playthroughs), feels really brutal and sucks.
Of course, this is what all platformers in the 80’s and 90’s were like.
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EDIT: I knew my persistence would pay off. I found working cheats. Not only did I manage to give myself infinite lives, but tricked the game to think I’ve completed it to unlock normal saving (instead of the pathetic Quick Save option).
However, cheating comes at a cost. … Mario’s hat is missing. There’s one that removes the hat, but I never enabled it. May need to go on the Dolphin forums after my Benie Fails At playthrough, and ask what’s going on.
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EDIT2: I’ll take back what I said about the Super Guide. Mainly that you get to play as Luigi at ANY time. You can use him to get past a level that you cuss a lot at, then right back to the action by pressing the ‘+’ button.
Just tell it to pass the level after you (as Luigi) defeat the level. It’s helped me to get past two really brutal castle levels. Yes, it takes pity on you. But as long as you use it to pass an area you’re having difficulty with and then play normally (as Luigi), it’s really OK.