Benie's Games Blog

Beating another dead horse. I seem to doing this a lot. Except this horse is still alive.. just barely breathing. And that horse looks kind of like a dragon from Skyrim. Except when it’s not and it’s actually an online survival video game. The same video game a certain angered person tried to get me into, yet all I saw was the boredom.
But later, I finally learned that the game wasn’t as bad as I thought. Because I finally gave it a chance. However, living with the angered one wasn’t something I really wanted to do. I wanted to live on my own, as I have learned all that I had needed to survive.

Fast forward soooooo many years into the future, Oceanside Retreat on the Freedom server still stands. But it’s falling apart due to, once again, me losing interest over finally getting the place built. I tried to take a few trips to keep my bored brain occupied. I really enjoyed them. I enjoyed freaking out when mobs were getting a bit too close to me (even on horseback and a good set of Studded Leather Armor on (thanks to last year’s Impalong)).
But with the recent news that Wurm Unlimited, now has a Single Player option.. I’ve been VERY strongly considering on just getting it, making a server, and try to rebuild Oceanside Retreat using it. But, a few things keep me from making this ‘final decision’. Because after I do it, I’m leaving Wurm Online for good.. for this. To finally have Oceanside Retreat, frozen in time; never have to worry about the damn thing disbanding on me (or a mob sneaking up behind me).
Plus, I would actually populate the server using pictures of what I’ve seen!

I know I will not be able to actually re-create the Freedom server. Really doubt that’s even an option to have a blank canvass of those servers and build all the roads and stuff.
But here are the things that are keeping me from making that decision…

-Boats would be kind of pointless to have. I wouldn’t be able to sail to another server and check it out. I’ll be literally stuck on that island.
-I would never be able to enjoy Impalong ever again. This is probably the hardest to say goodbye to. Last years was fantastic. It trumped 2010’s Impalong (mainly for the mob attacks).

As you can see, there is a problem. I want to be able to attend Impalong when it happens, yet I also want a secured deed. It seems like I really have no other option than put most of my silver into the deed upkeep to keep it going for awhile. That way I won’t have to worry about it.
But that would kind of defeat the point of buying the ‘offline’ version. Sure, Oceanside Retreat would be secured on my end, but I still need it to access Impalong or whatever else happens online!

Someone suggested I get Unlimited and use it as another 3rd party deed design program. Basically, like DeedPlanner, but in true 3D. And that’s actually pretty cool… except the purpose to pay the $30 price tag for it was to ‘freeze’ my deed in time. However… I also picture having cages for all the dragons in the game, in one area.. and build a city around it. Call it ‘Elder City’.
So not only would I have Oceanside Retreat captured in time, but the unique dragons. Including the elusive (to me) white dragon.

That actually would NOT be a bad idea! 😀
Maybe it is worth the $30 price tag…

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EDIT: Actually, it’s not worth the $30 price tag. At least, not right now. Infact I managed to get a full refund. But I’m not even happy of getting that. It seems if you want to know anything, you have to go to 3rd party websites. And you know just how much I love doing that (read my earlier reviews in January of this year if you don’t).

Setting up the server, I had no idea that you’re also supposed to join it via the LAN tab in the server list (as if your friend just got their server up for you). I’ve gotten used to creating the server as soon as I launch the game..not feeling like I’m trying to start a dedicated server that I need another computer to join it. Though, I almost wish I could had managed to get Tulsi to join it (without him requiring the game).
Speaking of the settings, they seemed really lacking. I read back in the launch of the game, Rolf released two maps. I had assumed that this had changed since then(which in ways got me to purchase the game), yet I saw nothing indicating being able to set the seed of the map where I would have more customization. I feel like I had no control over the server. Plus, there was no real way that I could see of deleting and creating a new one to see if I was just using random settings.

And then when I joined the server, I got confused of where in the hell I was. Had to make myself a GM, but I had to do it off the server. Yet I watched a video stating that you can make yourself a GM ingame by using /gm (your set admin password here) to gain access. Yet the game’s all “Unknown command”.
And this is where things get slightly annoying. Having played on servers like the MRT (and others), there was always an option to keep the launcher open when you quit. However, Wurm never had this. And it seems the same is true for this thing. Because when I shut down the server, the game quits as if I just logged out of the Online version.
Since I typically like keeping my Desktop as free of icon clutter as possible, I don’t allow Steam to make a quicklaunch icon on it. But with this, it was like I was almost forced to (just to re-edit my server settings).

So I finally managed to make myself a GM, and read that all the GM commands are done through keybinds (that have to be set by the player). I guess this is to be expected, as Wurm is very customizable when it comes to keybinding. Managed to bind a key to Flight mode. This is pretty cool, but I haven’t found any flight speed options. The video I saw claimed they exist, but apparently not in the latest version.
And the ‘weather cheat’ as the guy said, I was clicking the key I bounded it to and nothing happened. Then I noticed multiple “Wurm Weather Control” windows behind the game window.
Pretty cool playing around with the time, and the fog. What’s not so cool is having my settings reset on me for no reason.

And…that’s basically it that I can think of. I regret getting my money back, yet I also regret paying for something that feels unfinished (not to mention lacking any answers whatsoever). Such as somehow having armor on and carrying some kind of wooden flag…when my inventory was completely empty. It was so empty, that it wouldn’t even show the usual drop-downs that I’ve seen in Online. That feels very broken.

So, best thing to do right now (when it comes to my original “problem” with Wurm Online) is to just…come on occasionally, fix problems, make sure the deed isn’t going to expire via upkeep anytime soon, and go with that. This is really the most logical, painfully obvious thing to do.
I might revisit Wurm Unlimited at a later date. But hopefully by then, it’ll be more developed (in server customization). But I really, really doubt that. The GUI hasn’t really changed since 2007.

A few years ago (back in 2014), when I was still into Garry’s Mod, I used to play a gamemode called ‘SpaceBuild’. Basically, you can build spaceships in Gmod and fly them to certain planets that are part of the map.
But it wasn’t just about building ships. You had to build ships that could handle space. This includes having the right resources to survive.
In SpaceBuild, if you leave the planet you spawn on, you will die from running out of oxygen. This isn’t like Space Engineers when you’re equipped with a Space Suit. Resource management was really, really fun back then. Hearing the sound of Air and Oxygen Compressors humming and slowly filling up your tanks to give you enough to survive even going to a nearby planet.
And did I mention you also had to worry about planet temp? If you aren’t prepared, you will fry or freeze to death. The mod was very unforgiving, yet I LOVED it! It was a challenge I could accept, because it made 100% sense!

Lastly, you can also do space battles with your friends. Fierce space battles, using mods like Wire to make complicated builds such as mini-fighters swarm your enemy and attack without mercy. The customization.. was unbelievable!

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But then something happened. The mod started to lose popularity. Can only assume it was because of Gmod’s infamous spazzing physics (which is both hilarious and/or heartbreaking, depending on what you’re building) affecting ships (and the fact lots of moving parts can cause severe server lag), not many people still played. So, I created a post on the mod’s github page; “Is SpaceBuild dead?”
Since then (and even to this day), I’ve gotten a ton of emails about it. Some agreeing, and some saying “nah, it’s not dead. Just having a slow moment”. But seriously, SpaceBuild really IS dead. No one plays the gamemode as they did in the early 2000’s. Not to mention, the original author (SnakeSVx) stopped working on it.

But some people seem to be interested in bringing the gamemode, back to life. And to make it even better than it was before. They want people with lua coding skill to help a guy named ‘generalwrex’ (who is an ex-coder for the gamemode), to get back to rebuilding the mod and making it a thing again.

Readers! If you have skill in coding with Lua, and enjoy Garry’s Mod.. please, make SpaceBuild great again for all of us! Help bring back the complexity and true fun!
Here is a link of the post I made, if you’re interested. Pull requests are highly appreciated!

Wishing I never bought it. Ehh. The money’s been spent. At least Frontier can use it to make future commanders happy. I unfortunately won’t be a part of it.
I played the game for two weeks and a half. And for those two weeks and a half, the game never WOW’d me. Not once. And now it’s uninstalled and in my “Games I Don’t Play” section. The section I put games I question why I spent the money.
But before I wrap up talking about this game for the rest of my pathetic..sad escuse for a life, there’s just something about the game that kept me playing. Was it the determination to force myself to have fun with it? Or was it something else?
Actually, it’s because it’s unlike any other game I’ve played. It’s genre was, unknown to me. Is it an RPG? Is it a simulator? Techinically it’s both, but with other genres mixed in. A great big bag of misery.
In a way, I could call it a ‘Space Exploration Online RPG’.

It’s not like a typical MMORPG, where there are dungeons and bosses. No levels. No class(well, space-faring ships do have class names).
Though you can solo pretty much anything you wanted…if you’re up to the challenge. Though sometimes that challenge throws unseen curveballs that catch you off guard. Kind of like real life in a sense. And you got to know how to deal with them and persevere against all odds. Fuck me, it IS real life. 😮
Me? I could state my opinion about this, but I’ve beaten it way too many times to say it again. Aka, it’s completely against the core game mechanics. Even ones that manage to scare me shitless that make horror games like Five Nights at Freddys and Amnesia, look like childrens games. And this fear..this is not a good fear. No one should ever..EVER be scared to death of a mechanic. Yet the fucking thing traumatized me..I’m not shitting you.

And then there’s the currency system, and all the really awesome ways of acquiring it! You’d think with such an awesome system where it’s fair for players of ANY skill, I definitely would not had uninstalled the game, right?!…RIGHT?! It’s totally not rigged for the pros (and people that are normal and are “eh, whatever” about dying in a video game)!
As much as I wish for a system that would be fair for all players, I doubt the game would had lasted this long with it. Most feel the game “isn’t going anywhere anytime soon”. Of course, I think that’s a response to the people who are fanboys of EVE Online (that hasn’t been fully released yet).

And, that’s really all I can say. Sure, I’m going to miss never being able to explore the California Nebula. But really..the risk is just too fucking high for something to go wrong (no matter who tells me “you’ll be fine”). Too many “what if”s to even try. I just don’t have that courage as I did before. Not after nearly being one-hit rekt by a pirate. It was almost a glimpse of my death IRL..except I doubt I would ever be flying a spaceship that is jump ready.
I just don’t know what was different from other times I died in a video game. Dying in a game is such a common thing, it should not ever be unexpected. But I think it was caused by my determination having a sudden panic attack.
Typically, the pirates use lasers or small weapons…never a fucking railgun!! Of course, when I look back at it, maybe I kind of over-reacted. You don’t fail Robigo missions by dying. You fail them if you get scanned. ..Which scares me even more, as that means it’s no different from pirates that will randomly interdict me because they hate my guts (and I have no cargo).

Whatever. I’ll never have to deal with that ever again. Games are supposed to be relaxing, not having risks that are too fucking true to real life that it’s scary!!

“Mild PTSD. Determination of completing the delivery. Fear of death. Fear of authority vessels(even while not doing illegit missions). And repeat pirate interdictions….”
And I have them all, especially mild PTSD. See…I finally…FINALLY have my ASP Explorer! 😀 But wow, did it come with a price. A price that I’m still paying. A fear of getting in the game and going anywhere, thinking there’s going to be a pirate with a fucking railgun to one-hit WRECK me….
Robigo..I can’t fucking DO it anymore!! Every time it gets worse and worse to the point the challenge is just too much for me!

Allow me to explain…
See, I did 5 missions to come up with the money to afford the ASP and use it for Robigo instead of the Cobra. I completed every single one without being scanned; not even close to it. But boy, was I a tense wreck of shot nerves.
The first four missions were the typical “outrun the guy trying to kill/scan me” thing. The last one, heading to the station, a random pirate wouldn’t fuck off. It went like this;

Pirate: Oooh.. let’s see what you got.
*interdict*
Me: Stay calm. stay calm…
*submits to the interdiction. Does exactly what I was told and gets away*
Me: Fuck you, pal!! *sets course back to the station*
–3 seconds later–
Same Pirate as before: Oooh.. let’s see what you got.

And it kept happening for 3 times. Thankfully I finally got to the station before it became a 4th. And the rest of the delivery went OK. Total amount was about… 8-9 million for 5 missions. Not bad at all. I had 4 million when I started, and wound up with nearly 13 million.
Went to the Lembava system (to get the 15% off price for all modules). I was told to ditch the fuel scoop and go with some fuel tanks instead. And after much debate, I went with it (promised that one of them would personally come to my rescue if I ran out of fuel).

With that, my new ASP Explorer was ready for Robigo. She purrs like a..lawnmower. But the canopy. So much visibility! PERFECT for planet landings!
I then debated if I should just say “fuck Robigo, let’s EXPLORE!! 😀 “, or try to get ‘Petty Officer’ rank with the Federation to get the Sol system permit (and wave hi to our planet, Earth).
Seeing how it was late, and I really wanted to get some more money to afford potential upgrades for actual exploration (and combat), I went back to Robigo…I would later regret that decision.

Made it back. Grabbed three missions worth about 5 million in total. It went OK for about.. 10 or so jumps. Had a cop AND a pirate trying to interdict me. I tried to submit…yet I couldn’t, and my FSD failed and was forced to wait 40 seconds.
I’m thinking “SHIT!! Ok.. stay calm and boost! Just get away!!” And as I was boosting, I heard something that sounded like a railgun. My shields went down in an instant, and was down to 52% hull. OHH FUCK was I panicking!!!

I kept trying to dodge the fucker..hearing that railgun sound and knowing one more hit and I’d be fucked. Finally my FSD completes its cooldown and I get the FUCK out of there. Even as I type this, I feel like I just saw my life flash before my visual eyes.
I. fucking. REFUSE TO BE PART OF THAT AGAIN!!!!!!! Fuck Robigo! NO MORE!! That was when the line was crossed! Seriously, FUCK that shit!! TOO fucking close.
And if that wasn’t bad enough, twice I had a ‘every 3 second’ pirate interdiction happen to me while trying to head to the station. And on top of that, when I get to the station, the pirate spawns right in fucking front of me, forcing me to go full speed to the station, in hopes the no fire guns take the asshole out. Thankfully, both attempts of that were at an Outpost (that has very limited security).

I managed to get 12 million. Just enough to switch out of Robigo for combat/exploration. Left me with 5 million left, with the rebuy cost about 7-800k. I cry inside, feeling Robigo is my only real hope to have enough to afford rebuys.
There’s also bounty hunting to slowly get money (legit), but I doubt this ship can handle combat well. Its maneuverability is quite low (6/10).

But..I dunno. After what happened to me back then, I don’t know if I even want to play again. I don’t want that shit to ever happen to me. Ever. That scared the shit out of me. Too close. Too. fucking. close. I don’t think I’ve ever been physically traumatized by a game mechanic in my life. First it was interdictions. Now…now it’s this. My worst fucking fear in this game: the fear of being out-gunned by an enemy ship (and no one’s there to help me).

I’ve been given advice to still face the Escape Vector when being Interdicted, when submitting. But I feel even if I did that and avoided the 40 second FSD CD, the guy behind me would had still gotten a well-placed shot on me.
Though I think the only way I’m going to break my fear, is to go back to Bounty Hunting. I can make a million an hour, legit (at least, I could in my Adder. Dunno about this). From my findings, if I use the K-Warrant Scanner and then tag the ship (and then fly away from it while the other NPCs attempt to engage), I’ll still get the payout. But I believe I have to be close enough (but not close enough for the enemy to attack me) to get it.
I just have to find a system with a High RES site (and a close station for repairs/bounty turn-ins/respawning).

There’s also Mining that I could get back into. I could go back to my friend’s home system and use my ASP as a mining ship. With the extra cargo space (compared to my Cobra), I would have more room for limpets and the three P’s, and make even more money. Legit money.

Another thing I can do, is simply explore. I got the top of the line discovery scanner now, that reveals every planet in that system. Then just fly to those planets and scan them for profit.
I can finally set course for the California Nebula with a ship that can handle it. Or go to the Bubble. Or even go to the Crab Nebula that’s far..far out to the outer disk of the Milky Way.

Whatever I do, I’m done with Robigo. Too risky, and it only gets worse. It’s turning me into a nervous wreck. That’s never healthy. I have to stop doing it. But in 2.1, if they actually fix the same pirate constantly interdicting you, I might reconsider. But that’s a big ‘if’.

Yet I know it won’t just end there and I’ll never will have to worry about money ever again. Die enough times, and I’ll be forced back into the stock Sidewinder. The rebuy cost isn’t what I’m used to. It isn’t something I can just do a few missions (or a few bounties) and make sure I have enough to cover it every time.
Hell, I don’t even know if I’m still paying off that 500,000 CR loan that I took out.

There’s no guarantees I’ll never die, even from exploring. There’s always going to be bastard AI pilots that don’t even bother seeing if I have cargo or not. Even in the Maia system, I got interdicted by an AI wanting my non-existent cargo. It’s like they get pissed off that I even exist. SICK of that shit!

Quite the immoral title, yes? Well, I actually feel like I have. It felt like Frontier came to me and said “I understand that you’re not making credits as quick as you want. I could help you get as much to afford that ASP Explorer… all you have to do is smuggle. Sign this form, and you’ll have more credits than you ever dreamed of!”
And after much hesitation, I ‘signed the form’ by making it to Robigo and did my first ever smuggling mission of 2.5 million credits. And I completed it with very little issues! 😀

But getting there and not being prepared, is something you cannot do. Unfortunately, I did. See, I had a Viper MK4 from trying to do bounty hunting with a friend. It didn’t go so well.
To spare the details of all of that stuff and get right to the point, I decided to go to Robigo in my Viper. Back in my home system, I couldn’t view the system map for Robigo and assumed I would have no problem selling my Viper for a Cobra, and getting it ready for Robigo runs.
Took me 40 jumps to reach it. Finally I did, and … the Robigo Mines had no Outfitting or even a Shipyard. So I had two options. 1, go back to my home system. And 2, find a system close to Robigo that has these services.

Did the second one. Went there. Docked. Unfortunately, they didn’t have any Power Plants or FSDs for sale (and the Thrusters were not what I’m looking for).
I went on and sold my Viper for the Cobra, thinking I’ll be able to just re-buy what I had. I couldn’t. They took my perfectly good modules and threw them in the incinerator, and then pretended to be all “Uhh, sorry. We still don’t have any in stock!”
I was royally fucked! Not only was I forced to go back home, but I had to go back home slower than I was!! And damn was it painful.

Thankfully, this story has a happy ending. Finally jumped into a system with a station, that had some really nice upgrades. It wasn’t what I needed, but it really helped. I went from 57 jumps to go, to 27. Was able to make it home. Back there, I still didn’t exactly have everything I needed, but it was close enough to not be a problem.
Made it back to Robigo, landed, and the first mission I saw was worth 2.5 million. Wow. That’s one hell of a payout! That’s like 2-3 hours of bounties, in less than a half an hour.

I saw a bunch of other missions too, some offering 300k. Not too bad….but, I said that if I wasn’t able to pull off this single mission, I’d be done with the game.
I took it, and attempted to do it. Occasionally, I got this random NPC saying “Wait! Don’t flee! I have important info for you!” But I just ignored him and continued on.
About 4 jumps from reaching my destination, a random pirate spawned in and Interdicted me. I played it calm and submitted, but when I tried to jump away, it said how I was mass locked. Thankfully I was far away for him to attack me.
Did finally jump away.

Made it to the station with no issues. When I jumped in, I was facing the front of the station. I aligned myself to it and got within 7m of it, requested docking, then Silent Ran in. The cop ships were flying around me, but I never heard “Scan detected”. Stayed in Silent Run until I got close to docking, and docked.
Here my hands were shaking for gripping onto my HOTAS too tightly, but I have DONE IT!! 2.5 million in the bank! WOOT!! 😀 That completely pays for the hell I went through.

Even though I completed the mission, my head was swimming with uncertainty if this is what I would use to make my credits. I’m thinking if I grabbed a whole bunch of missions, would the risk be too harsh for me to handle? Debated if I should just go back to mining, or bounty hunting.
Then I thought “you know what? Just try it. See if it’s too harsh and go from there”. And that’s what I’ve done. Went back to Robigo.

This time there wasn’t that many missions for me to do. Most of them were unavailable. But I grabbed another smuggling mission (1.5 million) and a shockingly legit mission of delivering samples to a station for healing purposes.
This one had two encounters of pirates. However, it seems only one engages me at a time. I thought “this really isn’t so bad…”
Completed both of them with absolutely no issues. Maybe I got lucky. Though sometimes I hate luck, as it might tend to swing against you without warning.

Felt like I ‘sold my soul to the devil’ here (hence the post title) in order to get rich quick. I know this game is about literally doing what I want to do. There is no hand-holding. There is no path you must follow. You’re on your own. And I feel like I’ve finally chosen the path to riches. All I want, is an ASP Explorer. Nothing more. I just wish it wasn’t so damn expensive.
But it’s not really the cost of the ship that’s expensive — it’s the cost of the outfitting. However, there is hope. I’ve been told that if I go to any High Tech system that is controlled by the ‘Ly Yong-rui’ Power (examples are the ‘Lembava’ system, and the ‘Diaguandri’ system), I would be able to get the ship (and all of the modules) at 15% off the galactic average. This is nice.

All I need to do is to do a nice ASP Explorer build. A build I could live with until I can afford better upgrades. A build I could use with Robigo (instead of the Cobra).
Though someone has showed this build that they use for Robigo. It’s 20 million. But assuming what I hear with everything 15% off, the cost is… well, not that impressive. 12.7 million. That’s actually not that bad. Still, I’ll have a bit of a wait to get up that much. Though I feel I need at least 15 million. Once I get that, I will have my own ASP Explorer.

I’m back in civilized space, but I’m over 100ly away from where I originally started. This is because of ‘joshthomas134’, the guy I met of going to the California Nebula. I actually made it to the nebula before it.
Did somewhat enjoy myself, but boredom really started to set in. I dunno, but this game just isn’t really pulling me in. And I think because of the overdone, silly messages said in stations. Things such as “make sure you make it to your spot in the allotted time!”, or “loitering is punishable by death.. don’t do it”. I mean, come ON! Especially when there’s no other actual players here. It feels silly and just not needed.
A better, more immersive feel should be news of what’s going on out there(in addition of checking the galaxy news when landing). Instead of these “check your speed!” idiotic messages. Not all of us are complete fucking newblets!
It kills me when I hear “did you get permission to land in the station?” when I have already landed, and I have already fucking gotten permission!!!! STOP IT!!

With that out of the way, I told the josh thomas guy of what I’ve gone through and he actually said he would help me. He said to basically do the same thing NiGHTS did for me, which is to exchange all of my internals for cargo racks. But being this far away from civilization, wasn’t really the smartest place to do it. So we agreed on just exploring the system of rumors of aliens. He says he heard that this nebula is where they would be coming from, and I’m thinking “oshi-“.
But before the time he gets there, it’s pretty late and I told him I had to go to bed.

The next morning, I got on and he was gone. He said he had to get back to his home system and deal with some guy trying to take it over by spreading their influence. At this point, I’m feeling bummed out I waited all that fucking time for him to get here, only for him to go to do his thing, leaving me nothing to do. So I decided to explore the system a bit. Did some more scans, and even found my first black hole! And like black holes in SpaceEngine, this one scared the shit out of me from being too close. Fuck, man. Space be scary!
(Even though the thing looked like a…. *sigh* a vagina.) *facepalm*

It was past 12am (as for some reason he goes AFK after 6pm and doesn’t come back until then), and I asked him “are you done with your thing?” He said “no”, stating he would “need a huge group” to help him. So I asked him if he’s asked the Steam forum for help..I got no response.
So all day, I was stuck in the system waiting for him. He even said he would come back.

Next day, he said he was doing some runs and once again “would come back” but to explore. I was getting seriously fed up with this guy. Said he would help me..not to do his own thing and leave me with nothing to do!
Finally, he told me to come to him to do the thing (which was late at night again). So I set course for his home system and attempted to jump my way there. There was one time I had an issue.
Basically, I was near a scoopable star. Next two jumps, and I would be near another one…but there would not be one for the next four jumps, and I feared I would be out of fuel before I could reach the next one…and I didn’t want to get the Fuel Rats out here to save my ass.
Thankfully, that was not the case when I reached the second scoopable star. The distance was so short, there was no way I would be screwed before I was able to scoop again, and sure enough, the gamble paid off. Though it wasn’t really a ‘gamble’ per se, it was a “I didn’t have a choice as there were no other scoopable stars anywhere near my route” thing.

By the time I reached it, my ‘friend’ told me he found a new home system…….which was even FARTHER from the last one! FFS!!! And then he even had the nerve to facepalm me when I told him how many jumps I needed to reach him.
But finally..finally I made it with no other issues with scoopable stars. Though I did find a white dwarf on my route. It was 4am by the time I made it. 4:10am to be precise.
He was AFK at the time I jumped in, when I asked him what station he was in (as the system map doesn’t seem to show it). And after being Interdicted (and also being shot at by some crazed AI pirate), he finally told me. But when I managed to get to the station, he told me to meet him at a moon near the station.
So I did, and I’m sitting there smiling at the difficulty of seeing this huge freakin’ ship trying to land next to my tiny ship.

By then I told him I had to go to bed. He said that he would head back to the station and do some more missions.

The next day…
He was gone again from the system. Said he was doing some missions. A. fucking. GAIN..having to WAIT for him! Then later on, he tells me he found another home system (thankfully, this one is only 10 jumps away).
I jumped to the first star and start to scoop. I then see an actual player behind me, and the fucker interdicts me during scooping. I was forced to submit to keep from going into the star, but I managed to get away before he got too close.
And the guy followed me for 3-4 systems. Finally he fucked off and I got to the new system without issues. I don’t know that guy’s intentions, but when he has an interdictor, he either must be a human pirate, a griefer, or both. Why should I take an unnecessary risk and be forced to pay the rebuy to get my ship back?

Anyway, I made it to the new system. Again, the system map wouldn’t show where the fuck he was. But he told me and I landed… and waited because he went AFK. It was this point I was all “that’s it. I’ve had it. I’m telling him how I feel!”
After dinner, he responded saying he passed out due to the heat. I felt sorry for him and wished him well (best thing to do).
Then he asked me what was going on with what I said on Steam, and I had to explain everything. At this point, I felt he finally understanded that he made a promise to help me, and I’ll be damned if I let him forget it!
Back ingame, he told me to sell my Viper for a Cobra as it would have more storage room to do the thing. So I sold and downgraded everything I can to get as much credits as I possibly could. Wound up with almost 3 million, then I bought the Cobra.

At first glance, it’s actually not as bad as I thought. The interior is nice, and I’m finally sitting in the left seat! Win win! I would had been happy with my Adder if I could sit on the left! D:
He said he would be going down to the planet and to bring an SRV, and then….he unfriended me ingame. Um..what? I said nothing to offend him, so I’m just assuming he accidentally clicked the wrong button. He was still in Steam, playing the game. Yet, he wouldn’t respond. And even as I type this, he still isn’t.

I fear for him, that something has happened. Heat stroke? I..I don’t know. Here it’s almost 3am and it still shows he’s playing the game, but he won’t respond. And the fact I can’t re-friend him (he won’t accept my request(it’s taking forever of waiting for him to accept)), I just don’t know. I pray he’s OK. I’d hate to think it was my fault for this, but I really doubt that. I really doubt I upset him. He would had told me. He would even had defriended me in Steam.
I pray he’s OK in the morning. But if he isn’t on at his normal time, I’m going to have to be forced to go with my original plan. But now that I have the Cobra, I…meh. I would be able to do the Robigo runs. Just enough to afford an ASP Explorer.

But this is what I mean by the game being addictive. It’s addictive, in a bad way. In a way I want to put it down, but it isn’t going to make the situation better.
When I put a game down, I feel like I have “retired” from that game; that I’ve done all that I wanted to do (that I could do that doesn’t involve too much thinking and preparation). Only a solid update would ever get my interest back with that game.

The latest Subnautica update is tempting, though… but I don’t wish to be assed to start a whole new game, of the hell I went through to get there. And I hear the game just got 5x more challenging with more things you must scan to get what you want. In ways, I don’t like it. But in others, I do. The game should be challenging. Thankfully, death isn’t anywhere as brutal as ED is. Plus I hear with this ‘Engineers’ update, doing bounties is going to get a whole lot more risky. I soooo don’t like hearing that. ‘Elite’ rank and higher AI are actually going to pwn you, what I hear.

Since I got this game, and since I made posts on the Steam forums, I’ve been getting friend invites left and right. The first one was a group invite, followed by a friend invite the next day (denied both).
Then I get an invite from a guy named ‘NiGHTS’ ingame to help me out to get my Adder. The next few days, I get an invite from ‘Mheeka’ who showed up after my discussion about if it’s wrong to fear Interdictions.
The next one is from ‘Krotera’, who “wanted to speak to nice people”. And finally in my thread to go to the California Nebula, I get an invite from a ‘joshthomas134’ who wants me to meet him ingame to check out another Nebula.

I don’t know why I’m suddenly getting random people friending me left and right. I’ve never had this when I played Space Engineers (except those few instances). I just wonder who else is going to pop up on my friends list before it’s all said and done.
It’s not that I don’t mind talking to other people, I just find it rather odd that it took this game to to become (in)famous. Maybe they like my avatar. Maybe they like my profile. I have absolutely no idea.

Back in 2015, I was really blown away by the game. The graphics. The ships. The…HUGE FUCKING MAP of pretty much every known (and unknown) system in the Milky Way. 400 billion systems out there. But if you told me, that the game was unfair to new players, and that you would do nothing but grind your ass off to get anywhere in the game…I would had been turned off and not wasted $60 on it (plus $50 on a brand new Thrustmaster T-Flight HOTAS X in hopes to be a better pilot).
However, I really like my HOTAS. It was a good investment. I just wish my arms would, instead of getting sore. :/

See, bounty missions are quite fun and challenging. Sometimes, risks are fun. And other times…they’re too much. Because the price of failure, is HUGE!!! As big as the Milky Way! It doesn’t matter how many bounties you collect. One single death, and you lose. them. ALL. That, is fucking ridiculous! Absolutely fucking ridiculous!! You have absolutely NO room for error. You might as well just uninstall my save if you’re going to do that! Because, THAT is what death feels like in this game.
Death is nothing but the game saying ‘get gud’ to you. I’m not fucking playing Dark Souls, here (which is rumored to be one of the most punishing games to exist)!!

Sure, I could do trading. But that’s as risky if not more, especially hauling illegit cargo (slaves) in and around the Robigo system. It’s more risky, as the police ships (if they scan you), will open fire and likely kill you before you make it to the station entrance. You got to have nerves of steel to deal with that.

I’ve been told that it’s “freaking easy” to get away from enemies. I love how the person thinks they speak for everyone. Maybe he can be calm under pressure, but me?…when my shields go down, and my cargo hold is full of pricey bounty turn-ins, I fucking panic. “NO!! I don’t want to lose my bounties!! GOTTA GET AWAY!!!” is what pops up in my mind. It leaves me no room to think of using my Chaff Launcher, or picking a system to jump to.
THIS is what grinding has done to me. THIS…is what the punishing death system, has done to me. And you know their answer to this? If it’s “then stop playing”, you would not be incorrect.

Yet, “just stop playing” doesn’t fix the situation. Putting the game down, doesn’t make me a better player…but it certainly doesn’t help me concentrate any better. And spare me of the “the game isn’t for you” shit. There are absolutely NO games out there for me, that I don’t find one fucking thing wrong with (that makes me rage)! Not. one. damn. game…

But to look at this game from a “the game doesn’t change” perspective, no matter what ship you have? I find that unlikely. And they seem to refuse to see it from my perspective. Or maybe I refuse to see it from theirs.
The way I see it, each ship can only do so much. To me, that encourages upgrading. But upgrading comes with a cost, sometimes the cost is your soul of grinding your ass off to get it. And I really wish I could see it from their perspective. Maybe then I would really understand why this game exists, and why it’s so popular.
And actually, maybe I do. But I just don’t get why the only way to get what you want, is grinding. No matter how big your FSD is, how many shields you have, how many guns you have…the core game is the same. This is what they base it off of. It all has to do with preference.
Sure, the ships are different, but the main core of the game remains unchanged. And the only way to get what you want, is patience. Pure patience, and understanding that things take time. Something I’ve always lacked in life. That childish ‘now’ factor is still a part of me. Because, even if I get what I want, the “now what?” feeling hits like a brick.

So I decided to take a break from the grinding, and actually…go somewhere. With the assistance of one of my friends, I traded in my Adder for a Viper MK3. A lot of people say I should had gone with a Cobra instead. Though the Cobra looks too much like the Sidewinder (even though they were made by the same company).

I’m currently far, far away from where I was. Far away from the mess that is Power Play. Far away from human civilization. 100Ly away, in the ‘Pleiades Nebula’. The system I’m in is very interesting. Several gas giants that turned into stars, with a huge B-Class star in the middle. There’s also a station here…of all the places to actually have human civilization.

My destination is the California Nebula. Ever since I saw it, I really wanted to go there. I don’t expect to find any civilization there. The only reason the station is here, is from an expansion project of a player to help their respected Power. Though this is causing the system to lose money left and right from the upkeep, due to having no real value.
Though I’m also going to be sidetracking from reaching the Cali Nebula, and joining a guy I met on Steam to get to another Nebula (the North America Nebula).

Exploring may not pay much in credits (unless you do a lot of scanning), but it pays of your eyes seeing all of this..coolness. And it’s better than grinding for credits.
Infact, I don’t really care for a Vulture anymore. Bigger ships move slower, and are also bigger targets in combat. Though I may just settle with an ASP Explorer, fuck ever doing bounties again, and not go any further.

But there’s something I don’t seem to get. Every system I go to(that’s really far from human civilization), has already been discovered…yet why am I discovering it? All I can assume is, the system map data was never found. Yet…yet the data of who originally discovered the system, remains intact. How..in the FUCK does that make sense?!?!
If I discover the system, I expect to see “discovered by Benie”! Why..why does the original system discover-er, even matter? For fame? So, why not also have the fucking system map?! They found the system, so let’s see the system map FFS!!!
It’s nothing more than another poorly thought of gimmick to get credits(that shouldn’t even exist). The person that found the system, the system map data should be shared server-wide..not just for the client. So even if I scan several systems, and turn in the scan data for profit, only I will see it. Anyone else will not see what I’ve seen. It rips the immersion right out of me.

This isn’t a Single Player game. If it was, then I would understand why this is a thing.