Today has not been a fun day. Today has been like a car with ‘DRAMA’ written on the side, with the acceleration pedal stuck. And that car ran into my reputation. Fuck does it hurt. Honestly, though..I never had a reputation to begin with. But I do now, and it’s one I don’t wish to have (but I’m stuck with it).
The day started with logging in, and wondering why I’m even doing so. Cybaru’s alt was semi-active, attempting to enchant my mailbox. I went over to where she was, and stared at the dirt of where the entrance is. All I could feel was devastation over what is going to happen this Friday, to something I love. A something with beautiful green eyes and that “Hi, I’m gonna #REKT you now” smile… that I will soon never see again. :'(
Hasn’t 2016 claimed enough lives?!.. I guess not.
But..I did my best to try to keep my mind off of her by getting to work on imping the things I said I would, starting with B2’s boat. Yet while I was imping it, I kept thinking about this utter bullshit Jax said to me (that the dragon couldn’t be contained). If she couldn’t, then why are people trying to pen her?!?! And holy fuck, this ‘Whykillme’ guy was SO FUCKING CLOSE to finding her (not believing my attempt of throwing him off the trail). Thing is, when I was over there of where I found the dragon, I was checking the fence gates…and saw his name being the owner. That means Irondragon wasn’t the previous owner before I came back to Wurm..it was ‘Whykillme’, the one that also wanted to pen her and keep her as a pet. For the longest time, I thought he was one of the hunters.
Back to imping B2’s boat, I saw Garit on once, and told him what happened (and how Cybaru couldn’t help because of this love spell requiring a artifact). He’s all “uhh..what? No it doesn’t. I used it for some trolls and they turned friendly”. Yet he also didn’t want to chew her out over it (saying to “let her” believe). WHAT. THE. FUCK?! WE COULD HAD FUCKING SAVED HER LIFE WITH THAT SPELL!!!
So it seems Cybaru was playing as a double-agent with the hunters, telling me it wouldn’t work. I wanted so badly for Garit to tell her off, but he refused!
So now EVERYONE wants her dead?! Even people I thought I could trust. They backstabbed me. I fell for it.
Why..is the world so cruel, when you can’t even trust your allies? Yet the more I think about it……., maybe Cybaru was right. Garit may’ve used it on trolls…but there was no word if it would’ve worked on uniques. Plus, Garit tells me this ‘artifact’ can only be found on Chaos, and can’t be transferred back over to the Freedom Isles.
As I said before, and I’ll say it again..I don’t know what to believe in anymore. And yes, I will admit it, I am making way…WAY too much of a big deal over this. But I can’t help it. It’s not “just a game” to me. It’s morals. And all I’m doing is making a total fool of myself and looking like I should go see those nice men in their white coats. 😛
It is, a problem. Yes. It’s ridiculous, even to me. I’m ashamed of myself for how far I’ve taken this. I’m breaking friendships (with blame and distrust), over a bunch of stupid code that takes the form of a dragon! And leaving Wurm is not going to help. ..Only killing her, will. It will end this madness (that I alone caused for myself), and then I can finally go back to my normal Wurm life (being anti-social and anti-constructive, bitching about Wurm Logic and having to cook).
Moving back to imping B2’s boat, I got it to at least 35QL. And then I had a non dragon-related idea:.. “why don’t I just get B2 up to the Impalong and let them do this? Plus, he can take my un-imped lamps up there and properly put them in (one at a time)?”
And that’s what I did. Now that B2 has a boat, he can get himself up to the Impalong without me and do it. Might as well take advantage of the fact they’re extending it through New Years Day. I can’t go for him, because of the influx of people that would show up to the area (and I gotta be here to make sure nothing on and around my deed gets taken, just incase).
Already I had a person show up and log off somewhere while I was offline: name of “Trevortheholy”, driving a Rowboat of all things, parked next to Cybaru’s sailboat. Going to assume more boats are going to be showing up in and around my boat dock sometime tomorrow. It’ll be like a mini-Impalong, right here at Oceanside Retreat. Except..it won’t.
So I got B2 on, instructed him on what to do (and told him to stay there until either everything’s done or the Impalong ends), and he left with no problem. Meanwhile, I went to imp the guard tower. I managed to get that up to 40QL. One time I thought I actually got it to Rare status for “You suddenly have a moment of inspiration…” triggering. However, it felt like I did, because not only did I get my second guard back..I got a 3rd one! Hot damn! 😀
When I spun towards my deed, I saw a hellhound prancing around on the grass. Time to try out the guards! Though the hellhound died, it required two ‘help’ commands to get the 3rd guard to assist. Not liking that lag.
Back up in my house, I then started working on 6 armchairs for the table outside. After many fails (and making more planks/shafts than I needed), I got them done. I also used all the square cloth in my BSB that I got last year, for this very thing. Couldn’t find them at FM, so I had to make them. One time I asked B2 if they could ask the helpers at the Impalong to please make them for me. Thankfully I didn’t have to bother them, which is always a good thing.
B2 then arrived at the Impalong. I forgot to give him my pickaxe to try once again of getting CoC on it, so I had him fine the mailbox and gave him it through that. And that’s pretty much it with him. It was his own little adventure through Indy. Also, he can now cross-server back to me (remotely turned ownership of the boat over to him).
I’m sitting in one of the chairs I made, overlooking the NW island and just waiting for the time I would normally log out and start making something like this. Checked kchat, since there was no more fear of anyone finding her. And…it seems certain people have not forgotten my fuckup statement of the day I first found her. The question from Mr “Champagnedragon” was asking me “what happened to teh dragon that was after you?”
Since this is supposed to be a Private group, I tried to lie myself out of this mess by saying “No idea”, followed by “It ran off somewhere, never seen it since.” Then someone named “Nirav” joins the conversation, yelling “there’s a dragon?!” Again, I tried to lie myself out of this, hoping that all of this would just be swept under the rug. For the most part, it worked perfectly. I felt I was finally in the clear.
I told Tulsi about it in Skype, saying these guys were “wannabe dragon hunters”. I had no idea, that this would be a HUMONGOUS mistake. No, Tulsi wasn’t included in the hunting party. But I felt he would listen and not tell anyone about this. I felt confident. …. I now regret that feeling.
He comes on without warning, and starts to make a fool of himself in kchat of trying to get Nirav to respond to him. But this wasn’t the worst thing. Ohhhh no. He..tells them what I said about them being wannabe dragon hunters! Oh my..GOD! TULSI!! NO!! FUCK!! And also, remember that lie I had them set on? He tells them that I have her penned! Yep, just kill me now and get it over with. NOW they’re going to come and kill her!! YOU…IDIOT!!!
—
Yet, he’s also not an idiot. I’m the idiot, because I was so pissed off over the fact she killed me and wouldn’t allow me to get my stuff back. And after she was pinned, I stupidly told them where she was, and how I would arrange a hunting party after the Impalong. None of the alliance members know of this stupid thing I did.. except for Cybaru (I assume, because her alt logged out without saying a word). And looking back at the chat, I just see more and more, how far I’ve taken this. I’m no longer saddened over this dragon’s eventual death, I’m more ashamed at myself and feel like smacking myself with a plank just enough to wake me up to reality, that this IS just a fucking game!! WHY do I do these embarrassing and down right humiliating things to myself?! Once again, I refuse to think before I react until later on…, when it’s too late.
No wonder I have no friends. No wonder why I live alone in this deed.