…are a few of the questions I’ve been getting. Yes, I’m still very much alive. Though at times I still question why God is ‘punishing’ me (instead of giving me the sweet ending of death). Though I feel it won’t be long ’till I’m going to be wearing dentures at 40 years old (but that’s for something else).
And no, I haven’t gone emo, but I have gotten quite depressed. It’s that “game depression” I get from time to time. But this time, it’s been especially strong. Coupled with two stealth-oriented games that I played and stopped for a good month(and the reason I decided to stop doing reviews), and Modded Minecraft.
Discussing the first thing; HITMAN(which I just wrapped up to be sent back to Gamefly), and Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain. The first one, the only reason I got it was because of H2O Delirious and Dan(mainly Delirious, though). It looked really fun, how you have multiple ways of approaching (and assassinating) a target. But what I wasn’t told (with this and the other game), is time has weight. The game’s time actually ticks on while you’re trying to stealth through a level (and can fuck you up if you aren’t quick).
HITMAN alone, opportunities will literally pass you by if you don’t focus on them. Though I understand that you don’t -have- to focus on every single one of them (as they’re made for multiple playthroughs). This game is designed to be played over and over, trying out new things you’ve never done.
Yet this is also a problem, when you’re like me and you get stuck at a certain part and don’t know how to get around it. But instead of eventually finding a way, I try to look for a walkthrough. Yet it also feels wrong, of a game with multiple ways to play it (and I just happen to suck at them all).
It’s also hard to find a “this is what you need to do” walkthough. And it’s not due to the age of the game (came out last year), but as I said once again, it’s due to the multiple ways of doing a mission. It’s really mindboggling frustrating for me (and what made me send it back to Gamefly).
The second game is kind of similar. It gives you three ingame days to complete the first mission. I struggled at the first camp, trying so hard to find a way in. An entire day passes by when I finally learn where in the fuck I’m supposed to go, and then I yet yelled at by Big Boss for not being quick.
It reminds me of how horribly I failed at Simcity 3000, getting fired by failing at the god damn TUTORIAL level! It’s like that ‘game journalist’ failing at the Cuphead tutorial all over again.
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There’s also a 3rd game. Never played. My father’s been trying to get me into it. I would’ve played it, if it wasn’t for Modded Minecraft taking most of my time (more on it later). It’s Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus that came out this month.
The main reason why I don’t want to play it, is.. well, my father enjoys seeing “the pro gamer at work”. After the two games I mentioned above, hell no I’m no ‘pro gamer’. I never was. I even told him that if I was, I would’ve gotten a team and made a lot of money from these gaming tournaments(aka E-Sports).
And he thinks I’m making excuses, not wanting to compete with him. I do NOT compete! I try to take my time.
And now to move to the other issue, Modded Minecraft (which I said, took a lot of my time). I’m now getting fed up with it, playing Age of Engineering (where several times I was at the verge of quitting). And it isn’t the steep resource costs, but trying to build a base that looks good for them.
Typically when I build a base, I’m OK with it and I feel it suits my needs. However, all of those times was when I was using ‘kitchen sink’ modpacks (aka the Direwolf20 pack). These modpacks allow you to choose your progression, from bashing trees with your fist, to automating tree farms (and having more than enough power to do so).
Another beauty about these types of modpacks, is you can choose which mods you want to get into (and which you don’t).
Age of Engineering however, is the opposite of all that (and more). Your progression is chosen through 14 Ages(no, not Myst ages), each unlocked by working up to make the block (or item) to make it. It also substantially increases the costs of most recipes, and makes it where you have to use mods from past unlocked ages (in order to progress).
This alone, makes it near impossible to make a proper base in order to house them all. And this, infuriates me. If I had known this, I would’ve never got into it. Because FUCK it’s giving me a headache just thinking about it.
This pack also seems to have a huge emphasis on using IC2 a lot(to get into making UU-Matter and Plutonium). There’s also a lot of use with Forestry.
Again, building a base to support all of this (and future mods), is impossible for me, yet doable for the majority of players. Their secret? “Just throw everything on the grass! Who gives a fuck if it looks ugly!! No one’s going to see it except you!” That is the lamest excuse I’ve ever heard. A base is supposed to look nice and be functional. Plus I’m just not a fan of ‘open air’ bases. The fact I have to have walls (and be forced to think of how to decorate them).
On top of that, I feel I need to ‘futureproof’ the base, by knowing where future machines would go and to make them look good (which I know is impossible, and that just wants to make me want to scream “Just get it over already! I don’t want to deal with this!”).
So hopefully by now you folks are seeing that I’m getting myself super stressed out over something so trivial (as usual). And I’ll be damned if I make 9×9’s. I want a base that doesn’t feel like a lazy copy of another. This is the one and only time, I don’t want to be forced to copy someone else’s build.
But I feel it wouldn’t be as trivial if I had someone like angry (who had a server that we played Modded Minecraft together), and could just visually show me these mods and how they work (and the most efficient way to progress).
Plus I’m also getting fed up with manual crafting (and inventory management). But that’s not really a surprise. Once you get a taste of what autocrafting is like…you never want to go back. I feel like I’ll never be able to get into AE2 (which is Age 9, and I’m at the tail end of Age 6 right now).
Maybe I’m just getting fed up with the same ole shit with Modded Minecraft. I’m almost desperate enough to join someone’s server and see how they handle the modpack (and build their base around it). Maybe then I’ll get an idea of just how to do everything. Yet, I think it would be no better than it was when angry was showing me how mods work in the DW20 1.7.10 pack.
It’s wanting help, yet also wanting to control the help from saying “you should do X, and I’m not going to visually show you how”. I know I’m ‘doing it wrong’ with this pack. I could be making it easier on myself(such as automating certain things). But having little knowledge of mods like Calculator doesn’t help me. Yet again, I don’t want to be told “do X”, I want to be visually shown X (and how I could do it).
I have special needs, I guess. 😛
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And that is what’s been going on. Pretty much the same old thing with me. Though, I would love to get Tulsi involved in these activities. If only he had money.
TL;DR: I’m depressed and whiny again. Nothing’s changed. Move along.