I honestly don’t know how I should start this one off. I feel.. way worse than ‘heartbroken’. I feel like my heart has been ripped from my chest and then stomped on by the hunters, and then them saying “it was fun! Thanks for the invite!”.
Logged on after spending about 20 or so minutes during the opening of the Epsilon server. My Local was pretty packed with people. It’s like they just started showing up. I tried my best not to say “can we please reconsider this?!”.. but I promised I would go through with it (not to mention it would not look good on what’s left of my tarnished reputation).
The hours went by. The hunters (and people who were just there for the loot) prepped for the big battle, setting up campsites and tents, killing innocent pigs and sheep (that I could had stored in my animal pen if they would had just asked…), and killing the occasional troll, spider, or wolf that decided to see what was going on.
While they were prepping, Whykillme came to the area within 10 minutes before the fight. I asked him if this place looks familiar, as “I found your name on these gates”. He said there used to be a Forest Troll right there, last year that was slain. Something about this area has been known to spawn uniques..which is where she came from.
So this place, SE of my deed, is literally a graveyard for uniques. That’s..creepy.
Cybaru prepped the area around the deed he planned (after the dragon was sealed in), yet we would never need it when the time finally came to slay her. When Cybaru tried to open the sealed wall.. he couldn’t. Jax discovered the dragon was actually doing what he said she would; going berserk and tunneling her way out. This became more apparent when they started digging inside the prepped area. The rock was..bent and twisted to where it wasn’t natural. So they were forced to go another route and try the primary mine (by mining a new path).
They mined their way to her (with me watching from behind). It reminded me of the Darkspawn mining their way to the dragon to infect it (in Dragon Age Origins). And these ‘Darkspawn’, they seemed like they were hungry for her loot (with how fast they worked). After them killing some lava fiends in the way, they broke into the chamber she was in, and started the attack. I was forced to assist. It took a good 5 minutes to bring her down. I’m actually glad I didn’t get to hit her. I also got the ‘Dragonslayer’ title.
After she died, I was given her body. I almost started to cry, but I stayed focused. It is what I wanted afterall, then a few moments later as we’re trying to get out of the mine, I’m being told to give the body back. I stood there, defiantly, because “I want her body” was supposed to be what I got. Cybaru says to “stop being a baby”. WTF?! We agreed on this!! Yet I’m being told, her body still has all of her loot. … What? Why wasn’t this done before I was given her body? So I gave the body back, and then I got the empty body back. There was no “sorry Dragonhead”. No. It was all “Oooh, what did she drop?!”(that wasn’t said, but that’s how I feel).
And what she dropped, thankfully wasn’t valued items. Namely, the tomes never dropped. And so I feel at the very end, she did care for me. She wanted me to make sure to give her a proper burial, and in return… no one else got anything really valuable to sell. And that, was probably the best plan of it all.
All they got are her bones and her skull (and the priests got something for them to do their priest missions). They also got, unfortunately, a lot of meat from her (because she was ‘fat’ from all the times I fed her).
I also got a 0.10kg of her dragon blood, and a hide. Being told all Prem players (in the area) get this when a dragon dies. Both will be placed on her grave. I also got some of her meat. Again, to be placed on her grave. It belongs with her.
So, I’m doing a ‘funeral march’ on my horse to where she would be buried, and I start getting PMs that I need the gravestone made before I bury the body, in order for it to name correctly. Turn around and asked Garit if he could possibly make it. He says tomorrow he’ll have it (which isn’t really OK). Calmly told him I wanted to bury her today, and he thought I was still after the normal loot.
Someone else told me to ask Cybaru to make it for me. Of all the people to not ask, he would be #1 on the list. I strongly felt he was one of the people who refused to help me at the time of my greatest need(the 26th). But.. I waited until after the loot was handed out and they were starting to return to their home deeds, before asking him.
And shockingly enough, he agreed to do it. Though he used some of my rock shards, which is fine. While he was, I started gathering everything I needed for Emeriss’ gravesite in my house. Carrying a 50kg body around was quite tricky, but I managed. Started setting up the area, and realizing I didn’t need so many Lavender sprouts (thought you needed 5 for each, and there’s the chance of fail). Made it just fine with three.
Placed the JK flag I bought from FM. With the fact it shows a picture of a dragon, I felt was probably better than a HOTA Dragon Statue. It really felt perfect, sitting there standing tall in the background.
And as I’m about to back away to go make a stone brick to mark the grave, Cybaru sneaks up behind me and trades the gravestone with me. I thank him, and he heads to his boat.
Then before he logged out, Cybaru said about what the dragon did to the mine (acting like “I told you I was right!”).
I feel if he actually listened to me instead of Jax, and we got her into that mine that Renny said would work, I could had saved her life. I feel the reason why she rampaged, was because she was sealed in (instead of using a mine door). All I know, is, the mine she was originally in? It’s OK compared to the one she died in. If a dragon’s rampage is either of sealing it in (or the size of the mine), remains a mystery. And I wish she was still alive, to test it out.
*sigh*
But it’s time for me to find closure, and move on. With Local now clear of people, I finally completed the site and placed her body on the slab of Rough Cobblestone. Threw down the gravestone, and now she’s buried exactly how I wanted it.
It’s near the shore, behind a pine tree, at the foot of near where the main ramp goes up. Anyone who wishes to pay their respects is allowed to, though I feel that I only would be the one to do so. And that’s fine.
And as for closure, that’s going to come from a special place (that’s pretty far away from me). But if that special place (and the road leading up to it) is still intact after 5 or so years of disuse, I’m going to make my way up there, unroll my meditation rug, and then try to get all of the hate and distrust out of my head.
Get rid of the feeling my own allies were conspiring against me to kill my dragon (and I feel refused to help me and her out more, when I needed them the most).
If that is true or not, now is not the time to be blaming. Plus it would be very disrespectful, rude and.. I don’t need that in my life. Not after what I’ve gone through. All I need to do, is just…..relax.
Also, I need to get away from the deed for awhile. So much has happened, and I need a break from it. Maybe that cross-server trip that I had planned since last year will help as well?
Goodbye, Emeriss the Ferocious. May your flaming heart light your way to dragon heaven.