Quite a few things happened at once today. It started off with logging into Yahoo Messenger and getting messages from angry that he’s talked to one of the villagers of what used to be Elysium, about asking the mayor to disband their writs so we can move in.
It continued on with starting work on my newest idea for the HS, to add water inside the HS for a rowboat to get in. Several things happened after that, such as getting a PM from this guy who is going to build my Cog and asked me where it was. I told him to ask Momarr.
And then Tukster shows up, telling us there’s 5 young scorps on the road to Rockcliff. I try to help him out with him, helping him kill one and luring a few to the deed.
After that, it started to turn ugly. Once I finally got my idea done, I forgot one major flaw in my plan. Why have a boat here when I’m going to be restricted to the lake. I rather not go into alot of detail, as it’s very embarrassing to explain in a public blog.
But, the reason why I’ve been doing all of this, is… is trying to make my deed better than Elysium. I really miss my old HS so much, and I don’t know why. But struggling to make the place better instead of JUST… accept what I have, I just can’t handle it. Nomatter what I do, it fails, because it’ll NEVER look like my old place.
My old place was wider. Longer. Here I feel like my choices of making it better are so small it’s microscopic. I didn’t have a fucking, rock-filled hill behind my house in the past. It refuses to work with me and it’s upsetting. Why didn’t I just fucking found Dragonhead Bay when I had the chance?? Because of the damn buildings Elysium has. I STILL could’ve founded if I used my head. 😛 If I founded the deed JUST outside of Elysium’s deeds, I would’ve had it!
But no.. I didn’t think about that. Plus I wouldn’t know how to get more meals like I do now. And angry would be pissed with the fact I’ll be so far away.
Why…. why can’t my brain handle getting along with others? Why do I like living on my own, but can’t handle it fully? AKA, anything that has to do with work, I try to get someone else to do it.
The entire point of a homestead is to live on your own, and not need any form of help. And my brain refuses to grasp, that I’m not supposed to need help with meals and shit.
If I decide to go after Elysium(as a village, sharing it with angry and glop), ok so I’ll own the deed. But still, it’ll feel like I have to ask permission to do work on my own deed, if it’ll be ok with Angry and Gop… especially angry. If it interferes with his plans, he’ll be pissed.
So either way, stay at my Homestead or at the Village, I’ll be restricted from doing things I want. It’ll be a lose lose situation.
Nomatter where I move, is going to have it’s own restrictions. From rock/clay tiles, to not having enough dirt to do something. Angry’s my friend…why can’t I handle living with him?!
I have to think about angry’s happiness instead of my own, and it’s hard. It’s really hard.
But maybe this will still work. I got to remember, that I’ll be leaving Dragonhead back at the HS, but taking Bennie to Elysium. I have to give this a chance.
Infact… I give up fighting with him. If he wants his plan, so be it. I will accept it. Maybe this will work out at the end. I just have to make it work.
With Elysium, I’ll have another chance to do what I want. And, if I have to ask permission… so be it. It has to be better than hardly having ANY option to improve my HS.
Plus, there will be a reason to need piers, since my three boats will have their homes there, including my future Cog. 🙂
And on top of it, it’s as long and wide as my old homestead. And when Elysium’s writs either get destroyed or rot away, I could use that as farmland, or something.