{"id":8824,"date":"2022-05-06T20:49:25","date_gmt":"2022-05-07T00:49:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/?p=8824"},"modified":"2022-05-07T13:46:42","modified_gmt":"2022-05-07T17:46:42","slug":"thank-you-kat-%f0%9f%a5%b3-cuddle-buddies-more-like-worthless-to-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/2022\/05\/06\/thank-you-kat-%f0%9f%a5%b3-cuddle-buddies-more-like-worthless-to-me\/","title":{"rendered":"Thank you, Kat \ud83e\udd73 \/ Cuddle buddies? More like ‘worthless to me’"},"content":{"rendered":"

==============================================================
\nThank you, Kat<\/em> \ud83e\udd73<\/strong>
\n==============================================================
\nI don’t know how to start this as I’m too full of absolute insane excitement over what I’ve discovered. But I guess I’ll start off as such.
\nManaged to get JeroWorks 2.0 into Unity 2019 without any issues. Thought I would be forced to update the SDK as well but thankfully it survived.. as I forgot how I fixed it before after I did update it when it was still in Unity 2017).
\nSo there he is. I got plans to remove the little me for the mannequin version. I pulled up the .rar file Kat sent me that contained all the versions of the original skin she did (at least I assumed they were). Grabbed the blue variant and its emission, and then tried to apply the texture.
\nAnd this is what I saw.
\n
\nWhat the HELL?! Uhhh.. what happened?! This is the same texture sheet! Played around with XSToon’s settings and I just couldn’t get it to fit right. Didn’t understand why. Studied what was going on carefully.. suddenly a thought came to me when I was looking at the feet and the snout. Could.. Kat had accidentally sent me the wrong texture files, and I ended up getting the ones… for the VictonRoy model?! OHH FUCK!!
\nI absolutely had to find out if my assumption was correct: load the secret project as it has the VictonRoy model and see if it matches.
\nWith it loaded..
\n<\/p>\n

I moved the texture over to the secret project, and applied the texture… nearly had a stroke from my initial reaction.
\n
\nMy face when I saw this..
\n
\nHOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK!! THIS IS IT!!.. Uhh.. thanks, Kat! \ud83d\ude04 You mistakenly sent
\nme, JUST what I wanted to further fuel my unhealthy loneliness! \ud83e\udd1c Ohhh man. This is the next best thing to the Awtter.
\nNOW I don’t have to wait for Jero to see if he has it! I<\/em> HAVE IT!!<\/strong>
\n—
\nJust need to figure out where I have the model. And then.. JeroWorks 3.0, anyone? \ud83d\ude09
\n
\n==============================================================
\nCuddle buddies? More like ‘worthless to me’<\/strong><\/em>
\n==============================================================I dunno what I did or what I caused, but it’s like… I’ve lost most of my friends. So much that all I can say is “JeroWorks 3.0 HAS to work. There is no ‘hope it will’. IT HAS TO!! Or I am done with VRChat for awhile.”
\nCertain friends always gave me a reason to keep playing. But now most of them are so busy doing their own stuff, or talking about how perfect their life is to me. But I know what the real issue is, and it upsets me.
\nAllow me to explain what happened today…
\n–
\nI saw Malice online. According to VRCX, there were only two people on (with one being a friend). So it’s to be assumed that Malice is with a friend of theirs. Yet when I joined.. Jelly was with him. What the HELL. VRCX showed Jelly was offline! How in the fuck could this not know he actually was on?! Later, I discovered one reason: Jelly’s in Ask Me. Ergo why it didn’t show him in the world list (as it assumed he was in a private world).
\nUpon realizing this, I quickly darted around the corner where they couldn’t see me. And it worked quite well. Jelly kept running around but he never saw me. Something tells me he wasn’t actively looking for me. Likely didn’t even know I was in the world of how fast I was able to make myself not seen.
\nI wanted to talk to Malice in private, and be happy he had such a good day before. But I can’t do that with Jelly there. Didn’t even want to say hi to them, because at this point I see them as ‘better than me’. I don’t want to hear how.. successful everything in their lives
\nare. Bugs the fuck out of me (like what happened yesterday, and I still haven’t fully recovered from it).
\n–
\nSaw a surprise Kovo on. Went to go visit him. Got quite crowded in his world. No Nova this time, because her headset died on her. Kat was there, but very high. I tried to tell her that I “got the wrong texture files”. I just feel a bit bad knowing I have Jero’s VictonRoy texture, and… I just feel better if she knew, and if I have permission to do this (even though it’ll only be for ‘personal use’). But with how high she was, she doesn’t really understand what she’s told and said to tell her “when I’m sober”.
\nI then tried to join off of Queenie. ..And this was the straw that broke the dragon’s back.
\n—
\nHow should I explain my behavior in one word? Shameful? Inconsiderate? Inpatient? Toxic? ..Maybe all the above? Well, I will never do that again since I clearly don’t know how to stop trying to control my friends to do what I want (because I’m bored and think they’re there for my entertainment). ..Why in the fuck am I so fucking TOXIC?!
\nWhen in the world, I put my feet up in hopes.. to ‘bait’ Queenie into licking my paws so he’ll get horny enough to want to ERP with me. Even though I might as well deliberately shove my paws in his face, I didn’t actually do that. But I kept saying in my head “take the bait, Queenie! Lick them!!”
\nFinally, he asked me if I wanted to go to another world. I tried to say “sure”.. but I also felt quite shameful of myself. Again my emotions were fighting of what is ‘right’, and my common sense was really letting me have it. Others joined the world, including BADDECODE. Since he joined, Queenie’s like to him “I dunno if I want to do this. I’m having mixed feelings”.
\nI put my feet down and didn’t say a word to Queenie (or anyone) for the remainder of while I was there. Later, everyone but us three left the world. I saw Queenie with BADDEE and that’s when I went back to Malice, praying Jelly left or something. Too much shame to be in that world for my mind to handle.
\n—
\nJelly was there (still), but again he didn’t see me. I did see Malice. He was asleep. And right there is when I debated if it was even worth staying on.. the answer was “no” when I tried to join Stray and VRChat crashed. Not even the game itself thinks I should be
\non.
\nMy mind goes from “I’m bored please entertain me” to “..I can’t do this to you” so fucking
\nfast, but it’s only when my attempts have failed. It’s just the way Queenie asked me, I really felt he wasn’t really in the mood.. that he was only going to do it for me. And NO. I don’t want that either! I don’t want anyone to feel they’re forced!
\nI don’t want to live with the guilt. …Yet my mind is going to want me to do it again when I get this depressed, bored (and desperate) enough.
\nMy mind doesn’t see friendship like you’re supposed to see it (especially in this game). It doesn’t care for the whole “I get to talk to people all over the world” aspect. As I said I’m not a social person. ..I’m scared to think what I truly might be. Yet at the same time I can’t be one of.. them. They have no shame, no remorse over what they do.<\/p>\n

I have to stop doing this to my friends!! I’m going to end up losing ALL of them if I keep this up!
\nAnd this is why I feel ‘this has to work’ (of the project) to ‘un-bore me enough’ that I’ll actually see friendship without needing anything from them. Because if it doesn’t, I’m going to give myself a time out until I get this thing of ‘deserving attention’ out of my system… even if it’s forever.
\nFucking hate my child brain right now. Yet.. why is this happening? And for it to happen multiple days. What’s going on? It’s like most of my friends are on vacation (or attending the latest Furcon). Or, this is starting to truly show just how dead VRChat is becoming.
\nJero not on, usually isn’t really that big of a deal. I have others. ..This time, I don’t.
\nThis is why the success of JeroWorks 3.0 has to happen, for my own sanity.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

============================================================== Thank you, Kat \ud83e\udd73 ============================================================== I don’t know how to start this as I’m too full of absolute insane excitement over what I’ve discovered. But I guess I’ll start off as such. Managed to get JeroWorks 2.0 into Unity … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[22,25,26,2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8824","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-computing","category-drama","category-love-drama","category-personal"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8824","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8824"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8824\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8830,"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8824\/revisions\/8830"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8824"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8824"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8824"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}