{"id":8808,"date":"2022-05-02T05:13:33","date_gmt":"2022-05-02T09:13:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/?p=8808"},"modified":"2022-05-03T22:06:14","modified_gmt":"2022-05-04T02:06:14","slug":"huh-so-there-actually-is-a-website-for-that-a-simple-trick-fixes-a-major-issue-where-controllers-go-to-die-malices-relationship-issues","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/2022\/05\/02\/huh-so-there-actually-is-a-website-for-that-a-simple-trick-fixes-a-major-issue-where-controllers-go-to-die-malices-relationship-issues\/","title":{"rendered":"Huh… so there actually IS a website for that \/ A simple trick fixes a major issue \/ Where controllers go to \u2018die\u2019 \/ Malice\u2019s relationship issues"},"content":{"rendered":"

==============================================================
\nHuh\u2026 so there actually IS a website for that<\/strong><\/em>
\n==============================================================
\nSo this is a subject I’ve never talked about. Hell, even thinking of it sounds odd. But given for the fact my father has been gone for two years now.. and the slow but steady increases of stress between myself and my mother, this is a subject that needs to be talked about.<\/p>\n

And that is, of doing what I should’ve done when I was 18-years-old: move out and into an apartment.
\nBut a lot has stopped me from doing so. Being unsure if I would actually make it on my own. Not having a job (you might need credit even if you’re just leasing an apartment). Plus I’ve truly never done the research. That ‘joke’ that school doesn’t teach us ‘how to adult’ is very much not a joke. Apart from job training, that’s it. At least in my school when I was in my mid to late teenager years in the early 90’s, we were never taught this. Hell the internet wasn’t really a teaching tool until they put us on Macs. ..Ohh the memories of learning stuff on the early MacOS. But I digress.
\nFast forward from those days to now, for the longest time I didn’t even know where to start looking for an apartment.. or even what<\/span> I should be\u00a0looking<\/em> for. I’ve wanted a ‘one stop shop’ for finding an apartment that matches your wants and needs, like an ‘apartment finder’ website.
\nAnd no<\/strong><\/span> this is in no means sponsored (just wanted to make this clear), but I literally found just what I was looking for from a simple Google search: ApartmentFinder.com<\/a>. It finds where you are in the US and matches you to local apartment complexes, showing you the best deal for your buck (#NotSponsored if the first time I said this wasn’t clear to you).
\nUse code ‘BeniesBlogs’ to save 10% off your first lease. \ud83d\ude00<\/em> (Joking. Such code doesn’t exist)<\/p>\n

Anyway, given how I feel an apartment that’s at least $700\/mo shouldn’t be too<\/em> painful on my monthly check (that also has 1 Bedroom and 1 Bathroom), I did some searching and found a surprisingly nice apartment in ‘The Woods’ for $719\/mo, a local complex near a Meijer in my city. And what it says about it, it’s almost like.. living on your own. A two floor apartment with a nice view. Hell, I can’t stop thinking about it. It reminds me of that area of Wurm, in Xanadu that has independent housing (with all the trees).
\nIt includes everything too! Even being ‘cable ready’ and ‘high speed internet access’. It seems to be included in the price.
\n–
\nFour things though, stop me from doing this (including the “too good to be true” aspect);
\n1.<\/strong> How am I going to move my furniture to the new apartment, when I can\u2019t drive?
\n2.<\/strong> ‘The Woods’ is the apartment complex my parents lived in (and fucked in) to conceive me. …I dunno.
\n3.<\/strong> Most apartment complexes require a credit check. And you need to work for a really long time to have credit.
\n4.<\/strong> Is this really, well, \u201cethical\u201d to do this to my mother? I don\u2019t want her to be alone, yet at the same time she drives me insane constantly wanting things.
\n4a.<\/strong> …Mother’s cats. Who’s going to feed them when she passes away? Can I really live with the guilt when they starve to death? No. Of course not.<\/p>\n

Possibly the biggest issue is I need credit for them to run a credit check (even for renting an apartment). I did Google elsewhere that you can have a ‘co-signer’ who has credit to do this for you. My mother never worked long enough to have credit, and WildBoy (my closest friend IRL), also doesn’t have credit.
\nThere\u2019s also the matter with my mother (and her cats). Although this is the main reason why I wanna move out, I can\u2019t do that to them. It just isn’t right. Who’s going to feed the cats and change their litter box when my mother passes away? It’ll have to be me, of course. They would starve without me.
\nI couldn’t live with that guilt.
\n==============================================================
\nA simple trick fixes a major issue<\/strong><\/em>
\n==============================================================
\nHad an issue that I’m not 100% sure if it’s fixed, but when the issue happened… I didn’t know what to think. Just trying to turn my computer on, and… it didn’t want to turn on.
\nChecked the usual suspect, the FPCs (Front Panel Connectors). They were all in. It didn’t make sense. I tried pushing them all in like I usually do, and that usually fixes it.. not this time.
\nStarted assuming it must’ve been an overload when I was sleeping that my UPS wasn’t able to catch in time and fried my PSU and fried all my hardware.. UGH it didn’t look good!!
\nSo I tried the switch on the back from off and on, hit the power button again.. and my jaw dropped to the floor when I saw my computer coming back to life.. AND like nothing happened to it. Stood there, frozen in complete shock for the longest time as Windows loaded. The first thing I said was “HOLY FUCK!!” (my nerves were pretty shot from the whole ordeal).
\nSo let’s see. That was the.. second time the ole “did you turn it off and back on
\nagain?” worked. My mother believes it might be the wall outlet, as she said my father had this same issue.
\nComputer’s been working fine since then, though now everytime I prepare to boot it up I keep saying “please boot please boot please boot..”, and so far it’s been working. Gotta hope it stays like that, you know?
\n==============================================================
\nWhere controllers go to \u2018die\u2019<\/strong><\/em>
\n==============================================================
\nI’m sure a lot of you would answer with a resounding “yes” upon asking you if you ever felt really.. evil to make a joke over your friend’s misfortune, yet you also know karma will likely bite you in the ass later on (but you feel it’s ‘worth it’).
\n–
\nThat friend is Jero, and going by the title.. he’s had a history of controllers going bad on him. Mainly drifting issues with his left controller. However, the issue he’s having now, I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t really mind having the drifting issue instead.
\nWhat he tells me, is the left thumb stick (he uses Index controllers) at times says “I’m being used!” when it’s not<\/em> actually being used (and vice versa). There’s a short
\nsomewhere, and this causes him to completely freeze in place. What’s worse, it’s also affecting his right controller.
\nNow normally, he would be able to contact Valve and get an RMA. The last time, this
\nreally… and I mean REALLY blew my fucking mind. I’m a full blooded American, and where they make the Index is right here in America. I’m also within my 1-year warranty. But Valve, didn’t want to help me because I cannot drive and get my ass up to a god
\ndamn FedEx Store. ..YET… YET they help a British guy, who’s NOT within their warranty. Infact his was bought 2nd hand from eBay. I bought mine, straight through Steam.
\nWHAT. THE. FUCK, VALVE?!<\/strong> *sighs*.. But anyway, Jero also ‘forgot’ to send in the broken controller after receiving the RMA’d one.. the VERY FUCKING THING I BEGGED VALVE TO HELP ME WITH, and they refused!!
\nThey help a British guy, but they couldn’t help a full blooded AMERICAN?! Ohh I see how it is, Valve. Fucking UK favoritism.
\n…However, I might had possibly dodged a bullet when I bought that brand new replacement right controller. Because the RMA’d controller Jero has, is the one that’s having issues. ..Oof. RMA? More like “let’s send our ‘loyal customer’ a barely working controller that will fail in 6 months.”
\nJero though (after doing research on how to open an Index controller), believes it may’ve been his fault for the malfunction. Says he accidentally left it in a spot where it got heated up and may had “melted a wire”. He thinks (and I hope for his sake) he can fix this by taking out the ‘working’ stick from the old controller (that he didn’t send to Valve) and replace it.
\nOnce I have an update from him if he was able to (or not) fix the problem, I will pass it along to you folks.
\nWish him the best of luck to fixing this issue. He doesn’t deserve to have this ‘curse’ of controllers malfunctioning placed upon him.
\n==============================================================
\nMalice\u2019s relationship issues<\/strong><\/em>
\n==============================================================
\nWelp, time to talk about this mess. Now I thought this was going to be simple, but I fear, I fear this is going to get worse. And I.. pray I didn’t give Malice the wrong info. That’s what scares me the most in this, that I’m going to be blamed by his friends who were involved in this mess, that I wasn’t being ‘completely truthful’.
\nI also.. really.. REALLY hope this thing doesn’t lead to Malice dumping Jelly and seeing me as ‘boyfriend material’. All I can say is Jelly’s going to need to do some serious apologizing to win back Malice’s trust.
\nThis whole thing started with Malice saying he “has no more weed”. I’m thinking “great. That means your seizures are going to come back…”, and what I think may’ve happened a few hours later was a ‘weed withdraw’ (maybe. I dunno. I’m no expert on the
\nsubject).
\nHe laid down and told me to lay down too, so I did. He told me the reason why: his ex. The two lived with eachother IRL. He was a switch back then and did the ‘giving’. After it was done, the two laid on eachother for the longest time. And of course I started getting a
\nbit.. uncomfortable he was laying on me<\/em>. Kept my opinions to myself though. As time went on, Malice started becoming unstable, saying he’s “tired of lying in a bed alone”. I tried to cheer him up, telling him that “you and Jelly will live together” and he’ll “never have to be lonely again”…but it wasn’t really working. Infact it was making him even more
\nunstable, more upset. I then heard him talk to Jelly under his breath.
\nThough I never wrote about this, for weeks I’ve noticed a pretty rocky relationship between him and Jelly. When Jelly leaves for no reason (mainly). But what happened last night could be what breaks their relationship.. which will be explained in mere moments.<\/p>\n

So anyway, Malice is getting more unstable. He checks his watch and freaks out when he sees his heart rate is at 145 bpm. GEEZUS. I’m trying to calm him down the best I can, while Jelly and LegalSeagulll have no idea what’s going on, nor do I tell them “Malice has a high heart rate”. Instead I tell him that Malice is really stressed out and you guys need to be there for him.
\nBut they both stand there, silent after I said this. I had asked this several <\/em>times
\nthat Malice needs love and cuddles because he’s really stressed out. Again, nothing. So I thought “well if these two won’t do anything, then I’ll bring Malice to the couch outside and comfort him there.” And that’s what I attempted to do. It took a few tries
\nbut Malice finally followed me.
\nAbout 5-10 minutes later, I see Jelly coming over. I said “you can be here, I’m just trying to keep Malice calm”. Jelly stares at the mirror, looking away from us. Plus he says
\nhe’s “going to bed soon”. …Your BF is in pain and you’re leaving?! WTF, dude?! He needs you!! YOU especially, Jelly! I<\/em> shouldn’t need be the one comforting your BF! YOU should!!
\nIt’s like he forgot what the definition of ‘commitment’ is. But I didn’t say anything to him except “don’t you want to say goodnight to your BF?”
\nAt first he didn’t understand me, so I said it again. But instead of him.. again, being with his BF, he has the nerve to say “I’m busy, I will in a minute”. This took five minutes. And then, he very slowly turns around to face me and Malice. Stares at me for the longest time like “what are you doing with my BF!?”, while I stare at him back like “Yes, what AM I doing with YOUR Bf? ..Your fucking job as a lover! That’s what!”, then gets up and finally says goodnight to Malice.
\nBut by then it was too late as Malice fell asleep while still laying on me, and Jelly starts asking me “is he asleep?”. I said “yes”, then I said “I’ll let him know that you said ‘I love you'”.
\nHe walks off after that. About a minute later, he comes back. He seems much more calm and caring now (going by the tone of his voice). He thanks me for being here
\nfor Malice, then he says that he has “a hard time expressing empathy”. Claims he does care, but apparently empathy isn’t caring about others and showing compassion (when I almost had an argument with him trying to say ‘compassion = empathy’ but told myself
\nto “fuck it”.. because it’s not worth having an argument with him when Malice is trying to sleep).
\nThen he said “I love you Benie. I love you Malice”, then left afterwards. Legal showed up shortly after. (Hopefully) assuming Malice was actually asleep, I asked him to keep this entire thing I told him of a rocky relationship between Malice and Jelly.
\nWith Malice asleep and it nearly 6 in the morning, I too needed to go to bed. I would had slept in VR with Malice, but…
\n1. I don’t want to break my headset.
\n2. Don’t want my mother to be all “why are you still on your computer?!”
\nInstead, Legal did it for me. So that was nice of him. Glad he felt remorse, unlike Jelly.<\/p>\n

And now you see why I feel there’s a medium to almost high chance their relationship will fall apart. Jelly’s really going to have to improve if he wants their relationship to stay alive.
\nI feel Malice is going to stay off of VRChat for awhile. He needs to anyway. But like I said earlier, what scares me is he’s going to see me as ‘boyfriend material’ (even though I’m not looking, as I don’t feel I’d be a good BF for him).
\nIf you feel “nah, you can handle it”, then you’re new around here. Or, you don’t know that I have left when Malice falls asleep (to go see other friends).
\n—
\nMalice himself also has issues he needs to fix, as in to STOP falling asleep in VR. He does this every time when he’s high and it gets annoying. That’s one thing Jelly and I do agree with.<\/p>\n

.
\nI really hope I’m not going to witness (or hear about) the breakup between those two (if it happens at all). I don’t want to be responsible in ANY way of this. And honestly I shouldn’t had been all ‘team Malice’ either.
\nThing is, even if I didn’t open up my mouth for them to help him, Malice still saw everything that happened. So he is literally my witness if his friends try to come after me.
\nI don’t think they will though. Malice can handle it, even though he’s mentally unstable right now.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

============================================================== Huh\u2026 so there actually IS a website for that ============================================================== So this is a subject I’ve never talked about. Hell, even thinking of it sounds odd. But given for the fact my father has been gone for two years … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[25,26,2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8808","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-drama","category-love-drama","category-personal"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8808","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8808"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8808\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8813,"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8808\/revisions\/8813"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8808"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8808"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8808"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}