{"id":7562,"date":"2019-10-31T01:46:06","date_gmt":"2019-10-31T05:46:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/?p=7562"},"modified":"2019-11-01T14:32:10","modified_gmt":"2019-11-01T18:32:10","slug":"jeros-tricks-treats-with-our-former-relationship-finally-answered","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/2019\/10\/31\/jeros-tricks-treats-with-our-former-relationship-finally-answered\/","title":{"rendered":"Jero’s tricks & treats (with our former relationship), finally answered"},"content":{"rendered":"

Yes, I just made a Halloween pun, as it’s officially Halloween 2019. Yet I’m not really in the best of moods. Though I’m also happy.. happy’ish, that I finally have gotten all<\/strong><\/span> of my questions answered. Yes it hurt (me), yes it felt nervous at times (to me), but I’m glad it’s done– even questions relating to the doubts I had, have been answered. This means I officially no longer have romantic feelings for him. First Garruk, and now Jero. Cutting those romantic ties for non-group members was painful, but it had to be done.<\/p>\n

Due to how many questions were answered (and to not make this blog post too long, I decided to turn into a ‘Q&A Section’. Before I do so, I need to say how this even
\nstarted.
\n–
\nWhile I was typing the previous post, I felt confident that I could ask Jero if he’ll be able to actually come on tonight, and get the post done before he responds. But delays happened and Jero responded sooner than expected. This time he wasn’t saying “work makes me tired”, told me he couldn’t pay his rent. But instead of being homeless, his very kind landlord put him in an apartment. Said he was still shaken up, and I gave him a virtual hug.
\nHe thanked me, then asked how I was doing. Was about ready to say “I’m good
\ndude, nothing major going on.” but he kept talking, so I waited to see what he says. “did u want to talk to me in chat about something if u can?” was what he said. Pondered for a moment, then thought ‘what the hell, just do it’. Well, I tried<\/em> to do it (was nervous as
\nhell) fearing I’ll say something offensive, and saying ‘well’ a lot). Was never ready to explain all of this in text. Felt doing it by voice would’ve been much more genuine, and contemplated by asking him if we could use voice chat instead. But with my bad memory of short-term things (and how important this was), I’m glad I did it in
\ntext.
\nFinally started to loosen up by mid-paragraph. And so, here we go. Q&A Time! There will be time for thoughts after the session.
\n——
\nQ:<\/strong> How long have you and Chris been dating?
\nA:<\/strong> “its been a month”, he claims.
\n–
\nQ:<\/strong> When I gave you an option to join the group, am I to assume you were never really interested, the reason you never asked to know more about it?
\nA:<\/strong> It wasn’t<\/em> because he feels guilty for my doubts causing the group to form, it wasn’t<\/em> because of my age, and it isn’t<\/em> because he’s not into that thing. He simply wants to stay within the confines of Frost’s group (over the shitstorm that happened when everyone joined Scooby, when he was dating him).
\n—
\nQ:<\/strong> Why did you date Scooby, despite telling me “I don’t know how relationships work” when you broke up with me?
\nA:<\/strong> He didn’t immediately want to move on. Scooby wanted to help him out by dating
\nhim. Yet, Scooby was manipulative, which got Jero to break out of his shell.. not because of myself.
\n—
\nQ:<\/strong> So, if you actually loved me, then why did you never tell me then? Why did you cause me to have so. many. doubts about you?! WHY?! WHY was it so hard for me to understand if you truly did love me?!?!
\nA:<\/strong> Despite all of my attempts to prove I would never ever<\/strong><\/em> hurt him (of the guy that
\ndid), his thoughts were too clouded to see it.
\n—
\nQ:<\/strong> If things were different (IE, you were like Cola and admitted you had feelings for
\nme), and we (officially) dated, would you had minded if I wanted to stay as an online relationship?
\nA:<\/strong> No, but he said he would had liked to meet me IRL (and get to know me more). He actually asked for a face reveal, which I agreed.
\n—
\nQ: When you say it will be ‘official’ with yourself and Chris, does that mean you will move in with him IRL?
\nA: No. ‘Official’ to his mind means they will be dating. Right now, they’re really close friends.
\n—
\nQ:<\/strong> What date has Frost chosen for the IRL meet-up in Vegas?
\nA:<\/strong> No date has been officially set in stone (still being discussed), but he’ll let me know when it happens.
\n——–
\nAnd so, that’s the Q&A section. Time for thoughts.
\nGoing over the final answer, at first I felt satisfied. Felt “alright, I can understand that.” But as I was writing down the question, something hit me about that answer.
\nSomething, that originally made me upset. He in a sense, was like Cola. Both of them had an impenetrable shell around them, blocking all attempts of showing their true love.
\nCola (thankfully) went in another direction, while Jero did not. Claims he’s been a loner all of his life. So have I. But it seems he never got bit by the love bug like I did. And when he did, it was really bad for him.
\nAnd the upsetting part is, when he said he ‘was’ struggling. And combining this with what he told me after I said I ‘cheated’ on him (even telling him the reasoning back then with the doubts.. yet he didn’t read it, and that’s not my fault), he pushed himself to date Scooby. What I said, broke him out of that shell.
\nThat right there should be enough to get Jero out of my mind for good. To know he did this. Yet why I’m not really mad is I know he wasn’t blocking my love on
\npurpose.
\nBut with Jero’s latest answers, it was Scooby that broke him out of that shell (of being a manipulative bastard). Yet Jero doesn’t want me blocking Scooby, as he doesn’t want my friendship with him to end over this. And now I can fully see why. Thankfully Scooby didn’t manipulate me<\/em>. But I feel slightly bitter towards Scooby now.. ‘taking Jero away from me’. I’ll.. still remain his friend, though. But I haven’t been seeing him as much as I did. Fucking scumbag.<\/p>\n

But look, we both<\/span> messed up (badly). Jero messed up for not seeing this a lot sooner, and I messed up for being truthful (and for other reasons.. such as rushing it). And I guess I should be happy we’re still really good friends. I’m also VERY happy of him staying in Frost’s group wasn’t<\/em> because of me (even though he told me the reason before, about a week after it happened).
\nSays he’ll snuggle me like he did before (when he gets back ingame), but that will definitely put a smile on my face. But when my mind reminds me that him and Chris will be officially together, it bothers me so much. I know I should feel happy for them, but.. you can understand, right<\/em>?
\nHe was right there, within my grasp. Yet his abusive relationship wouldn’t allow him to see there was a better life with me. But, I have the group. Sadly they will never be able to remove the pain, but they’ll keep me from feeling alone (which I’m grateful). Plus, I have my RP son who loves me very much.<\/p>\n

.
\nAnd so, there we go.. the answers I’ve been waiting for many months, have been given.<\/p>\n

EDIT (11\/1\/19): Made a few changes to the questions (and added a few new ones with its answer). So this obviously means Jero got back to me today.
\nThere’s also something I forgot to state (as I didn’t know how to put it in with my thoughts). Jero actually asked for a face reveal. I assumed we were going to call eachother and wave hi using our phones. Instead he sent me a still image (of someone who definitely looks like a Jero, but I had a hard time processing that he actually sounds like what I saw).
\nFor security reasons I won’t be discussing (in detail) what he looks like (or sharing his picture).
\nSent mine to him, and after quite a long pause, he said “im glad to meet u benie”, followed by “i promise u nothing will ever change, everything will be fine”… we’ll see, Jero. We’ll see. I don’t have high hopes.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Yes, I just made a Halloween pun, as it’s officially Halloween 2019. Yet I’m not really in the best of moods. Though I’m also happy.. happy’ish, that I finally have gotten all of my questions answered. Yes it hurt (me), … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[25,26,2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7562","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-drama","category-love-drama","category-personal"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7562","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7562"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7562\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7573,"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7562\/revisions\/7573"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7562"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7562"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7562"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}