{"id":7546,"date":"2019-10-25T18:29:08","date_gmt":"2019-10-25T22:29:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/?p=7546"},"modified":"2019-10-26T15:01:24","modified_gmt":"2019-10-26T19:01:24","slug":"when-you-feel-like-throwing-in-the-towel-yet-you-gotta-feel-hope","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/2019\/10\/25\/when-you-feel-like-throwing-in-the-towel-yet-you-gotta-feel-hope\/","title":{"rendered":"When you feel like throwing in the towel, yet you gotta feel hope"},"content":{"rendered":"

I feel like I’m going to cry, but I also feel I’m doing the right thing. I also also<\/em> feel frustrated at myself for.. being honest with him. If I had never told him I was
\n“cheating” (aka the group), he would had never dated Scooby (or this ‘Chris’ who he’s currently with). Yet I also feel it would had done no good, as Jero never once asked for info to join the group. His response (if he gave me one) might’ve been similar to Garruk’s. And the obvious reason why he didn’t, is he didn’t want to hurt my feelings. Yet he doesn’t understand that not TELLING me anything, makes it WORSE. Has he learned NOTHING with the doubts I’ve had of him?!
\nFluffy on the other hand has been trying to get me not give up hope, saying Jero has
\nbeen “leaving hidden messages’ to me, that he still loves me, but is still upset for myself saying I “cheated” on him (and himself for not saying anything).
\nI have felt those hidden messages in his hugs, how he doesn’t want to let go when he starts hugging me and needs to go to bed. I know deep down he still loves me. Hell, he too probably knows he has to tell me that it’s over (or soon will be), and doesn’t know how<\/em>.
\nBut, there’s still a chance (though a slim one) their relationship could<\/span> fall flat, and then I can make my move. I will explain this in just a bit.<\/p>\n

If you have read what I said earlier<\/a> about this, there are things I forgot to state that Jero told me. And one important thing is Frost is trying to get everyone to meet up IRL in Las Vegas (including this ‘Chris’). Jero hopes to raise enough money to do so, as his flight from London to the states is going to be quite expensive. But this also paints a somber picture that I’ve lost him.. forever.
\nThere still might be hope, and I’m doing what I can to hold onto every last strand of it. And that hope is what Fluffy found out– their relationship isn’t official.. yet<\/em>. They are trying to get to know eachother better. So, there’s still some hope. Their relationship could
\nfalter, then Jero will be single again. And hopefully, he’ll join the group, and I will be forever happy. But.. at what price? How will I make him happy? What if he wants a RL relationship (like Wuffer did)?
\nThat, is why I feel I need to talk to him (before it’s too late), but not in DMs. I want him to speak to me ingame. Hopefully I’ll be able to do this sooner than later, as I will tell him everything that’s on my mind.
\nAnd I want what I’m going to go through, to be the final time I have a talk of this
\nnature (with him). No more silly doubts, and no more keeping things from me! This will be it. I want him to be 100% honest with me, even if it hurts me.
\nIt could go two ways;
\n1. Telling me he feels this ‘Chris’ isn’t going to work out, and actually decides to join the group. But I want him to understand the pain I had to go through with Cola, and how I would prefer him to not be like him. Cola’s a man of mystery.. but Jero’s worse. And at least Cola has told me the reason why he is (on multiple occasions).
\n2 (more likely)<\/span><\/em>. Telling me the truth he can’t join the group, and giving a very solid reason as to why (like Garruk did). And I will accept his decision without question.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I feel like I’m going to cry, but I also feel I’m doing the right thing. I also also feel frustrated at myself for.. being honest with him. If I had never told him I was “cheating” (aka the group), … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[25,26,2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7546","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-drama","category-love-drama","category-personal"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7546","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7546"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7546\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7548,"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7546\/revisions\/7548"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7546"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7546"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7546"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}